Category: Humour
+--------------------------------------------------------------+ | TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE | | | | The horoscope tables of the _Allminax_ are decorated with | | miscellaneous symbols, not all of which are available in | | monospaced utf-8 fonts to decorate this version of the text....
+--------------------------------------------------------------+ | TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE | | | | The horoscope tables of the _Allminax_ are decorated with | | miscellaneous symbols...
2. Part 2+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | @| @ || _Prognostix._ | _RAMRODS._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------...
3. Part 3+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Prognostix._ | _SHOE PEGS._ | +--+---++------------------------+-----------------------------...
4. Part 4The Goat iz a coarse wollen sheep, with a cracked voice and a sanguine digestion. They had rather steal a rotten turnip out ov a garbage barrell than cum honestly bi a peck ov o...
5. Part 5+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _History._ | _CRANBERRY SAUS._ | +--+---++------------------------+---------------------------...
6. Part 6+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Kalkulashuns._ | _THISSELS._ | +--+---++------------------------+----------------------------...
7. Part 7The feminine creashuns ov this month will be grate admirers ov the sterner sex. They will fall in luv easy, but will make az phew blunders az enny other wimmin. They will be gui...
8. Part 8The cockroach dont liv on what he eats, but what he kan git into, and often finding him ded in mi soup, i hav cum to the konklushun, that he kant swim, but that he kan float for...
9. Part 9Pisces are the only two fishes we hav enny account ov who hav bin able tew swim on land and not tutch bottom. It iz now over 4000 years since they cum ashore and took lodgings i...
10. Part 10+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Diagnosis._ | _BROOK TROUT._ | +--+---++------------------------+----------------------------...
11. Part 11+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Kronollogy._ | _POP KORN._ | +--+---++------------------------+------------------------------...
12. Part 12+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Kronollogy._ | _KONDENSED MILK._ | +--+---++------------------------+------------------------...
13. Part 13+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Billings Log._ | _TULIPS._ | +--+---++------------------------+------------------------------...
14. Part 14Faith iz the right bower ov hope. If it want for faith thare would be no living in this world, we couldn't even eat hash with enny safety. Human knolledge iz very short, and don...
15. Part 15+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Short Fakts._ | _STROKE OARS._ | +--+---++------------------------+--------------------------...
16. Part 16Ever since Adam waz ordered to root, or perish, thare haz been an endless lot ov labor saving masheens, invented, az plenty, and menny ov them az useless, az tudstools in an old...
17. Part 17+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Short Fakts._ | _MIXT PHOOD._ | +--+---++------------------------+---------------------------...
18. Part 18_Dear Mose._--All the humorist that i am acquainted with are sad, and sober kusses. I never knu a fust rate humorist who waz a good laffer, they are willing to make other people...
19. Part 19+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Items._ | _MAKE WEIGHTS._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------...
20. Part 20The auckshioneer iz an unfortunate individual who duz other peoples lieing for 10 dollars a day, and boards himself. He haz got az mutch jaw az a wolf trap, and as mutch cheeck...
21. Part 21+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Brevitys._ | _DAY BREAKS._ | +--+---++------------------------+------------------------------...
22. Part 22Three kard monte iz a game ov chance, the chance iz, that yu will git badly beat, unless yu play it alone. When thare iz 2 plays the game, sumbody iz bound to git hurt. Girls ar...
23. Part 23+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _The Slate._ | _HOT STUFF._ | +--+---++------------------------+------------------------------...
24. Part 24By MAURICE THOMPSON, author of "Alice of Old Vincennes," etc. "'The King of Honey Island' bears quite as many marks of the genius of the author as does 'Alice of Old Vincennes,'...