The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook

I believe I forgot to say that we went one morning to an expedition of pictures at the Looksombre palace, so called from its dull situation. It was very fine: one particularly s...

You will be pleased to hear that I have let my house in Montague Place, unfurnished with conveniences, for three hundred and twenty pounds a-year, besides taxis; and I have skew...

Where we are living now is in Southampton-street, and was the house of Mr. Garrick, the author of "The School for Scandal," and all Shakspeare's plays. The waiter tells us that...

"I heard Mr. Fulmer say he was a son of Marr's; he spoke it as if every body knew his father, so I suppose he must be the son of the poor gentleman, who was so barbarously murde...

However one accident happened--somethink always does happen wherever we go. My second was beautifully dressed--all after one of the Magaseens, and quite unlike any body else--an...

"Sir, I am sure you will forgive me for the intrusion I now venture upon; but I cannot permit this opportunity to pass without expressing, on my own part and on the behalf of se...

"Gad, sir," said he, "I walked off--I admit the Teneriffe to have been potent--and I thought of one thing, and another thing, and I believe I thought of all the things in the wo...

You know I never rot to anybody but you, although some impotent parsons have dared to call themselves the hawthurs of my lettus. There is one of them squarecap fellows belonging...

"You are right," replied Daly; "fun is to me what ale was to Boniface; I sleep upon fun--I drink for fun--I talk for fun--I live for fun; hence my addiction to our dear funny fr...

Mr. Pott said he had a motion to submit to the House, to which, from previous communication with many Honourable Gentlemen, he did not expect any opposition. Every Honourable Me...

"The illiberality of the English Church would not allow me this satisfaction, and the preacher sent an old woman to tell me that I must sit down. As it is not the custom in Cath...

Sleep I did not--how was it to be expected?--some part of the night I was in consultation with Mrs. Scropps upon the different arrangements; settling about the girls, their plac...

The trial of the girl was concluded, and I had no doubt as to her fate, now that I became acquainted with the principle,--she was acquitted, and never shall I forget the effect...

We have the highest respect for the arts and for artists; we are perfectly aware of the numerous qualifications requisite for a painter--we know and feel the difficulty, and dul...

The production of thirty-eight volumes, within sixteen years, Hook being all the while editor, and almost sole writer, of a newspaper, affords sufficient proof that he never san...

What I wrote of "the Horticultural fête" was altered into "the Horticultural fate," as if there was a destiny affecting all the entertainments of that society. When the late Mr....

"Willy," said the duke to his son, "when you have put away your small-clothes, go and ask Mr. Martingale if he will be kind enough to let the horses be put to our carriage, sinc...

MR. SHEPHERD. If you please, I will retire to rest--I heard your evening hymn, and interrupted your prayer in the hope of joining in it. Of whose devotions do you make use?

"Vain were my pantomimic supplications: she would listen to nothing but immediate abdication; and I could not well be angry with her, for she had put faith in me, and perhaps ru...

"These noble animals, however, seemed scarcely to need the rest which their master's"--job--"kindness now allotted them, for though they had drawn a somewhat heavy carriage a di...

If you were a goose, Mr. Editor, how would you bear with indignities like those I have suffered? Sir, the Heralds' College could prove, and would prove, if they were sufficientl...

Pursuing, the next day, our course through the town, we dropped into the Somerset House Exhibition, where there could not have been less than two thousand of our unhappy fellow-...

"The Siege of St. Quentin," a drama of a similar description, quickly followed. The plot was founded on the famous battle of that name fought in 1557, when the French, endeavour...

In the Marquis's book may be found recorded the exaggerated accounts of the Enchantress, which were zealously circulated in her own times by the French, and which inflamed and a...

Some copies indeed, and one in particular, (penis R. Pria Knight, F.R.S.) have it "thrice." This, however, on a careful collation with all the best MSS. and some very fair black...

No mirth in this world ever surpassed the fascination of these early mountebankeries. We have seen austere judges, venerable prelates, grand lords, and superfine ladies, all ali...

There, my dear friend--and this is from one radical to another!--the root of all this is, that I did once hint to him that I thought myself a better poet than he; more antique a...

"Like other unprejudiced travellers of modern times, (he proceeds) our author is not very much enchanted with the English form of existence--his cordial and sincere admiration i...

"I have received so much powerful assistance from your public talents in my short dramatic career, and have enjoyed so very many pleasant hours in your private society, that I f...

The great object, however, of his highness's Irish excursion was, as might have been anticipated, to visit Mr. O'Connell; and accordingly he gets a horse (a friend's, of course)...

Here we have, in one short page, a striking instance of the "true instinct" of Lord Wenables' fine horses, who were quite displeased that they were not allowed to drag him any f...

We will select one line of about three or four miles, which will answer by way of an example of what we mean: A man, driving himself (without a servant), starts from Bishopsgate...

This grateful recipient of Cambrian hospitality is presently discovered at the seat of Mr. Owen Williams, where he is obliged to amuse himself "after dinner with reading the new...

Then for amusement, so charmingly diversified; Poets, painters, patriots, peers, will all be there, Wilson's wise letter, by Tommy Campbell versified, Cammy Hob will give us to...

Mr. Hill died aged not more than eighty-three--though Hook and all his friends always affected to consider him as quite a Methuselah. James Smith once said that it was impossibl...

That Order, of Heroes the dying bequest, Its ribbon that blush'd as it cover'd his breast; The Star and the Badge that tried valour should wear, As if he had earn'd them, he too...

All allusions upon entering a town to the _pound_ and the _stocks_--knowing a man by his gait and not liking his _style_--calling a tall turnpike-keeper a colossus of _roads_--p...

The ship reached Portsmouth in January, 1819, and the warrant of arrest and other documents were transmitted to London, and referred to the law officers. The Attorney-General re...

"Bring the staff out of the boat," said he to me, with an air of command, which was so extremely well assumed, that I scarcely knew whether he were in joke or in earnest. I obey...

Och, tell me truth now, and did you ne'er hear Of a pair of big traitors, call'd Jaffier and Pierre, Who thought that their country was shockingly served? Who met in the dark, a...

Ramsbottom, Mrs., her party, 41; Her Journal in England and France, 46; death of her husband, 69; visits Rome, _ib._; objects to being dramatised, 72; visits Dieppe, 73; describ...

"_A well-considered attempt to apply canons of good taste to the costumes of ladies of our time.... Mrs. Haweis writes frankly and to the point; she does not mince matters, but...

At length, then, for the present, there's an end to all their labours, The Mountain Pack are now let loose to howl it with their neighbours; And so we bid them thus adieu, until...

Academy Notes, 1875. With 40 Illustrations. 1_s._ Academy Notes, 1876. With 107 Illustrations. 1_s._ Academy Notes, 1877. With 143 Illustrations. 1_s._ Academy Notes, 1878. With...

DEAR B.,--What will you Aunty-reformers say now. The parlyment is to be berogued, and your hopes are all blyted--now my expectorations are answerd--this is a nice two do--Fulmer...

"_Mr. Proctor, of all writers of our time, best conforms to Matthew Arnold's conception of a man of culture, in that he strives to humanise knowledge and divest it of whatever i...

Then came the premature wife of her pen-man, Her guide, her adviser--in short, Mrs. Brougham, And then the spare rib of Go-sin-no-more Denman, And sweet Mrs. Williams, and young...

Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources. Man...

Notes and Anecdotes. Illustrated by a profusion of Sketches by WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY, depicting Humorous Incidents in his School-life, and Favourite Characters in the book...