Category: Humour
Pupils in public schools on declamation days are limited to five minutes each for the delivery of "pieces." There is a great complaint of the scarcity of material for such a purpose, while the injudicious pruning of eloquent extracts has often marred the desired effects. To ob...
Vone day she says, "Shut oop your moudt! your blabbin' all der time!" I says "I vouldn't do it"--dot's der kind ov a Dootchman I am. Und den, bevore I knew it, she took me by so...
3. Part 3He was tall, solemn, and dignified. One would have thought him a Roman senator on his way to make a speech on finance. But he wasn't, singularly enough, he wasn't. He was a book...
4. Part 4"Vell, I don't dinks mooch of dem dings, und I don't pelieve averydings; but I dells you somedimes dere is someding in sooch dings ash dose dings. Now, de oder night I sits und...
2. Part 2Hiram was a quiet, peaceable sort of a Yankee, who lived on the same farm on which his fathers had lived before him, and was generally considered a pretty cute sort of a fellow,...
9. Part 9"John," said Mrs. Sanscript to her husband one evening last week, "I've been reading the paper."--"That's nothin'," grunted John: "I've seen people before who read newspapers."-...
10. Part 10Vill'st dou learn de deutsche Sprache? Denn set it on your card, Dat all de nouns have shenders, Und de shenders all are hard; Dere ish also dings called pronoms, Vitch it's sho...
6. Part 6"Herman, fix up anudder vun of dose goats de same vay; and doan forget to dell dem dot Misder Jones vot run de pank on Canal Streed vore it yesterday."
7. Part 7"Wad ye ca' me a leear to my very face? My faith, but ye craw croose! I tell ye, Tib, I never will bear't! 'Twas a moose!"--"'Twas a rat!"--"'Twas a moose!"
8. Part 8"Oh! what, you want to fly by water, do you? then I'm sure I can't assist you; for we are at least a hundred miles from the seacoast, and our canal is not navigable above ten or...
1. Part 1Pupils in public schools on declamation days are limited to five minutes each for the delivery of "pieces." There is a great complaint of the scarcity of material for such a pur...
11. Part 11DORA (_reads_). "If yees foind these tinder loins blotted wid tears, it's all owing to the bad quality uv the ink, which has compilled me to pin this wid a pincil."
12. Part 12=MOTHER GOOSE MASQUERADES.= (The Lawrence Mother Goose.) By E. D. K. Containing full directions for getting up an "Evening of Nonsense," Shadow-Plays, Pantomimes, Processions, M...