Part 11
DORA (_reads_). "If yees don't belave me, tak a good look at yees own face before yees open the lether, and see if I have not cause to wape."
KATY. Sure I ought to have known that before the lether came.
DORA (_reads_). "If yees foind these tinder loins blotted wid tears, it's all owing to the bad quality uv the ink, which has compilled me to pin this wid a pincil."
KATY. That's no mather.
DORA (_reads_). "If yees don't recave this lether, or can't rade it, niver moind: ye'll know that all that's in it is the truth, an' nades nather radin' or writin' to till the same. So name the day, Katy darlin', whin me single blissidniss is to exphire, an' the mathrimoonial noose shlipped over the hid of yees lovin' and consolin'
PATSY DOLAN.
"P.S.--These last lines are the poethry uv love.
"SECOND P.S.--To be rid fhirst. I inclose a ring for yees finger, which same yees will find in me nixt lether." That's all, Katy. (_Hands back letter._)
KATY. It's jist illigant. I'm obleeged to yees.
DORA (_takes shawl from chair_). Quite welcome, Katy. When you get ready to name the day, I'll answer it for you. But be quick, Katy; for the poor fellow will not live long on "only his thray males a day, an' his pipe an' tobacyer." (_Runs off_ C. _to_ L.)
KATY (_looks at letter_). Sure it's a darlin' lether, an' Patsy Dolan's a broth uv a bye.
_Enter_ R., GYP.
GYP. Ah, dar you is, Katy! Whar's de misses? Whar's Miss Becky? Whar's eberybody?
KATY. In the garden, sure. Yees may coom in, if yees wipe yers fate.
GYP. Yas, indeed! How yer was? And how's Patsy Dolan?
KATY. He's will. I've jist recaved a lether from him.
GYP. Dat so? Dat's good! Lub-letters am bery consolin' to de flutterin' heart. Got a letter, hab you? S'pose you red it frough and frough.
KATY. Sure I can't rade at all, at all.
GYP. Dat so? Well, well! De ignoramance ob de foreign poperlation am distressin'.
KATY. Can you rade?
GYP. Read? What you take me for? How else could I debour de heaps and heaps ob lub-letters dat I constantly receibe from my adorers?
KATY (_Aside._) Faith, I'd loike to hear Patsy's lether again. (_Aloud._) Thin plase rade this for me. (_Hands letter._)
GYP (_confused_). Wh-wh-what you take me fur? (_Aside._) Golly! she cotch me den. (_Aloud._) No, chile: dose tender confections am fur you alone, and dey shouldn't be composed to de world.
KATY. An' sure yees can't rade.
GYP. What's that? Can't read? (_Takes letter, and turns it round several times._) Berry long letter. Want to hear it all?
KATY. Ivery word.
GYP (_Aside._) Mussn't gib in. Spec dase all alike. (_Aloud._) Ob course, ob course. (_Pretends to read._) "Lubliest ob your sexes."
KATY. Sure that's not there.
GYP (_shows letter_). See fur yerself, see fur yerself.
KATY. Go on wid the lether.
GYP. "Sublimest ob de fair sexes, dis am a whale ob tears. Dar ain't no sunshine of moonshine widout you."
KATY. That's not thrue at all, at all.
GYP (_shows letter_). Read it yerself, read yerself.
KATY. Go on wid the lether.
GYP. "De moon on de lake am beamin', de lubly sunflower perfumeries in de garden, de tuneful frogs meliferously warble in de riber, an' de breezes blow fro' de treeses; but my lub, my lub, whar, oh, whar am she?"
KATY. I don't belave--
GYP (AS BEFORE). See fur yerself, see fur yerself!
KATY. Oh, quit yees talkin' an' talkin'. Go on wid the lether.
GYP. "My lub she isn't hansum, My lub she isn't fair; But to cook de beef and 'taters Can't beat her anywhar."
Dat's potry, Katy, dat is; alwus find lots ob dat in lub-letters: it gibs dem a flabor.
KATY. I don't belave it's there.
GYP (_as before_). See fur yerself, see fur yerself!
KATY. Go on wid the lether.
GYP. Luf me see, wha was I? "Come rest on dis yere head your aching breast." Dey all got dat, Katy, an'--an' (_aside_), well, I'se jest puzzled fur more: guess we'll hab some more poetry (_aloud_) an'--an'--
"We'll dance all night till broad daylight, An' go home with de girls in de morning."
KATY. It's no such thing! Yer desavin' me, so yees are! Me Patsy wouldn't go home wid the girls at all, at all.
GYP. See fur yerself, see fur yerself!
KATY (_snatching letter_). So I will. It's false and desateful yees are, for Miss Dora rid the lether, an'--an'--it was jist illegant, so it was an' it's yersilf.--bad luck to the loikes ov yees, whin yees can't rade! an' it's the blissid troth I'm tillin',--invintin' a bit uv blarney to make trouble betwane a poor girl an' her Patsy. Away wid yees!
[_Exit door_ R.
GYP. Well, I guess she fooled me dat time. No use. Dar's alwus trubble interferin' in lub affairs, jest like domestic affairs: when man and wife am fighting, ef you try to be a messenger ob peace, ef you don't look out, you'll git de broomstick onto yer own head. [_Exit._
YANKEE DIALECT RECITATIONS.
Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.
_BOARDS 50 CENTS PAPER 30 CENTS._
LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston.
CONTENTS.
PAGE
Goin' Somewhere _M. Quod_ 5
Old Farmer Grey Gets Photographed _John H. Yates_ 8
Speech of the Hon. Perverse Peabody on the Acquisition of Cuba 10
Widder Green's Last Words 13
Widow Stebbins on Homœopathy _C. F. Adams_ 14
Farmer Bent's Sheep-Washing 16
The Little Peach 17
Mr. Pickwick's Romantic Adventure with a Middle-aged Lady in Yellow Curl-Papers _Dickens_ 18
Goin' Home To-day _W. M. Carleton_ 24
Jakie on Watermelon Pickle 25
Putty and Varnish _Josh Billings_ 26
London Zoölogical Gardens 28
Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man _Mark Twain_ 29
The Old Ways and the New _John H. Yates_ 31
The Bumpkin's Courtship 33
The Ballad of the Oysterman _Oliver Wendell Holmes_ 35
The Deck Hand and the Mule 36
A Lay of Real Life _Thomas Hood_ 37
Middlerib's Rheumatic Cure _R. J. Burdette_ 39
Two Fishers _Harper's Weekly_ 43
Jim Wolfe and the Cats _Mark Twain_ 44
Mr. Stiver's Horse _J. M. Bailey_ 46
Mosquitoes _Kaleb Keating_ 50
The City Man and the Setting Hen 51
The Owl Critic _James T. Fields_ 53
The Man with a Cold in His Head 54
Forcible Entry _J. M. Bailey_ 5?
The Village Sewing Society 57
Yankee Courtship 59
The Patter of the Shingle 63
The Paper Don't Say 64
The Jonesville Singin' Quire _Betsey Bobbitt_ 65
The Knife-Grinder _George Canning_ 69
Malaria 70
The Story of the Bad Little Boy who Didn't Come to Grief _Mark Twain_ 72
Mr. Caudle and His Second Wife _Douglas Jerrold_ 75
Mollie or Sadie 78
The Baffled Book Agent 79
She Would Be a Mason _James C. Leighton_ 80
The Loves of Lucinda _Mark Melville_ 83
Something Split 87
From the Sublime to the Ridiculous 88
A Howl in Rome _Bill Nye_ 89
Butterwick's Weakness 93
The Old Man Goes to Town _J. G. Swinnerton_ 95
Mr. Watkins Celebrates _Detroit Press_ 98
The Squire's Story _John Phœnix_ 99
The Conversion of Colonel Quagg _George Augustus Sala_ 100
In the Surf 105
Variegated Dogs _Peck_ 107
Judge Pitman's Watch _Max Adeler_ 110
An Æsthetic Housekeeper 111
"Mebbe" Joe's True Fish Story 112
Aunt Sophronia Tabor at the Opera 114
The Village Choir _Andre's Journal_ 117
The Light From Over the Range 118
The Christening _E. T. Corbett_ 121
Mr. Covill Proves Mathematics _J. M. Bailey_ 123
Mary's Lamb on a New Principle 124
Address of Spottycus 125
Our Visitor, and What He Came For 128
In the Catacombs _H. H. Ballard_ 130
The Showman's Courtship _A. Ward_ 132
Clerical Wit 134
Greely's Ride _Mark Twain_ 135
No Yearning for the Beautiful _Max Adeler_ 138
A Very Naughty Little Girl's View of Life 141
Burdock's Goat 142
Awfully Lovely Philosophy 145
Aunt Parsons' Story _Presbyterian Journal_ 146
The National Game 151
A Disturbance in Church _Max Adeler_ 153
The Engineer's Story _Eugene J. Hall_ 155
The Judge's Search for a Waterfall _Harper's Magazine_ 156
The Railroad Crossing 158
Asking the Gov'nor 159
Intensely Utter _Albany Chronicle_ 162
The Way Astors Are Made _J. M. Bailey_ 164
A Mysterious Disappearance _Dickens_ 166
THE GRAND ARMY SPEAKER.
Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.
_BOARDS 50 CENTS_ _PAPER 30 CENTS._
LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston.
CONTENTS.
PAGE
The Rescue _John Brownjohn_ 5
Decoration _T. W. Higginson_ 8
The Little Black-eyed Rebel _Will Carleton_ 9
The Palmetto and the Pine _Mrs. Virginia L. French_ 11
Battle Hymn _Korner_ 13
The Song of the Dying 14
By the Alma River _Miss Mulock_ 15
At the Soldiers' Graves _Robert Collyer_ 17
The Sergeant of the Fiftieth 18
The Minute-men of '75 _George William Curtis_ 19
Blue and Gray 21
Custer's Last Charge _Frederick Whittaker_ 23
The Pride of Battery B _F. H. Gassaway_ 25
The Cavalry Charge _F. A. Durivage_ 27
The Last Redoubt 28
Kelly's Ferry _Benjamin F. Taylor_ 30
Noble Revenge 34
Civil War _Anonymous_ 35
"Dashing Rod," Trooper _S. Conant Foster_ 36
The Tramp of Shiloh _Joaquin Miller_ 38
The Sharpshooter's Miss _Frank H. Gassaway_ 40
The Fight at Lookout _R. L. Cary, jun._ 44
The Countersign was "Mary" _Margaret Eytinge_ 46
A Second Review of the Grand Army _Bret Harte_ 47
The Bivouac of the Dead 49
The Tramp _George M. Baker_ 52
The Canteen 55
The Charge by the Ford 56
Harry Brandon _Edmund E. Price_ 58
Post Number Three _Sherman D. Richardson_ 59
The Patriot Spy _F. M. Finch_ 62
The Dandy Fifth _Frank H. Gassaway_ 63
The American Flag _Joseph Rodman Drake_ 66
Somebody's Darling _Anonymous_ 68
"Little Potter's" Story 69
The Bravest Boy in Town _Emma Huntington Nason_ 71
Our Folks _Ethel Lynn_ 74
"Picciola" 76
"Fall in" _Mary Clemmer_ 78
"The Boys who Never Got Home" _George W. Peck_ 79
Abraham Lincoln and the Poor Woman 80
Elizabeth Zane _John S. Adams_ 82
Keenan's Charge 84
The Old Canteen 86
Mobile Bay 88
Ravenswood's Oath _A. Wallace Thaxter_ 90
The Story of the Swords _Adelaide Cilley Waldron_ 91
"Only a Crippled Soldier!" _J. Russell Fisher_ 93
Somebody's Pride _Clement Scott_ 97
My Wife and Child _Henry Rootes Jackson_ 98
The Song of the Drum _I. E. Diekenga_ 99
"Bay Billy" _Frank H. Gassaway_ 102
Sheridan's Ride 106
"Them Yankee Blankits" _Samuel W. Small_ 108
The Soldiers' Monument _John L. Swift_ 110
The Crutch in the Corner _John McIntosh_ 112
Roll-call 113
The Cruise of the Monitor _George M. Baker_ 115
Missing 117
Decoration Day _Mary Bassett Hussey_ 118
Back from the War _T. De Witt Talmage_ 120
A Piece of Bunting _Hon. F. W. Palmer_ 121
Grant's Strategy _Judge Veazey_ 123
The Charge at Valley Maloy 124
The Hero-woman _George Lippard_ 126
Union of Blue and Gray _Paul H. Hayne_ 130
After "Taps" _Horace Binney Sargent_ 131
The Soldier's Reprieve _Rosa Hartwick Thorpe_ 133
At Arlington _James R. Randall_ 135
The Man with the Musket _H. S. Taylor_ 137
A Baby Peacemaker _Herbert W. Collingwood_ 138
The Veterans _General Sherman_ 141
Barbara Frietchie _Whittier_ 142
What Saved the Union 144
Re-enlisted _Lucy Larcom_ 145
The Soldier's Dream _C. G. Fall_ 147
IRISH DIALECT RECITATIONS.
Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.
_BOARDS 50 CENTS_ _PAPER 30 CENTS._
LEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston.
CONTENTS.
PAGE
How Teddy Saved His Bacon 5
Mr. O'Hoolahan's Mistake 7
The Last of the Sarpints 9
The Irish Boy and the Priest 11
An Irish Wake 12
Biddy's Philosophy _R. H. Stoddard_ 14
Reflections on the Needle _Cormac O'Leary_ 15
The Red O'Neil _Thomas S. Collier_ 16
Deaf and Dumb _Anna F. Burnham_ 20
Mr. Murphy Explains His Son's Conduct 21
A Ram for Ould Oireland 22
The Gridiron _William B. Fowle_ 23
The "O'Meara Consolidated" _Va. City Enterprise_ 26
Paddy's Metamorphosis _Moore_ 28
The Widow O'Shane's Rent 29
Why Biddy and Pat Got Married 30
Don Squixet's Ghost _Harry Bolingbroke_ 31
Mr. O'Gallagher's Three Roads to Learning _Captain Marryat_ 33
Two Irish Idyls _Alfred Perceval Graves_ 37
The Broken Pitcher 39
Paddy's Excelsior _Harper's Magazine_ 40
The Irish Philosopher 41
Mary Maloney's Philosophy _Philadelphia Bulletin_ 42
Bridget McRae's Wedding Anniversary _Nina Gray_ 44
Paddy O'Rafther _Samuel Lover_ 45
Pat's Reason 47
O'Branigan's Drill _W. W. Fink_ 47
Pat and the Pig 48
Pat and the Oysters 50
A Penitent _Margaret Eytinge_ 51
Mike McGaffaty's Dog _Mark Melville_ 51
Jimmy Butler and the Owl 53
Tipperary 56
Pat's Dream of Heaven 58
Biddy's Troubles 61
Make It Four, Yer Honor 62
The Post-Boy _Mrs C. J. Despard_ 64
That Fire at the Nolans' _Life_ 67
Ninety-Eight 70
Pat's Bondsman _Lilian A. Moulton_ 71
Washee, Washee _Joaquin Miller_ 73
Annie's Ticket 74
O'Thello _Harper's Magazine_ 76
Lanty Leary _Samuel Lover_ 77
Katie's Answer 78
Paddy's Dream 79
Lessons in Cookery _Detroit Free Press_ 80
The Irish Traveller 82
Teddy's Six Bulls 82
A Miracle _Charles H. Webber_ 84
Pat and Miss Skitty _Bessie Bently_ 84
At the Rising of the Moon _Leo Casey_ 86
The Irish Schoolmaster 87
How Dennis Took the Pledge 89
When McGue Puts the Baby to Sleep 90
The Confession _Samuel Lover_ 91
Father Phil's Collection _Samuel Lover_ 92
St. Patrick's Martyrs 100
Pat's Correspondence _W. M. Giffin_ 102
Little Pat and the Parson 104
Patrick O'Rouke and the Frogs _George W. Bungay_ 105
Widow Malone _Charles Lever_ 108
The Birth of St. Patrick _Samuel Lover_ 109
Murphy's Mystery of the Pork Barrel 110
Paddy Blake's Echo _Samuel Lover_ 111
A Cook of the Period 112
Larry's on the Force _Irwin Russell_ 113
Pat and the Frogs _R. M. T._ 114
Paddy's Courting _W. A. Eaton_ 116
A Bit of Gossip _Josephine Pollard_ 118
Paddy and His Pig 120
Teddy McGuire and Paddy O'Flynn _Amanda T. Jones_ 121
Paudeen O'Rafferty's Say-Voyage 125
Irish Astronomy _Charles G. Halpine_ 128
Paddy McGrath's Introduction to Mr. Bruin 129
Larrie O'Dee _W. W. Fink_ 131
Irish Coquetry 132
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