Category: Humour

Twenty Years of Spoof and Bluff

EARLY EXPERIENCES PAGE Work as a telegraph messenger boy--First attempts at “public” entertainment--Small but appreciative audiences--I introduce the cycle to the post office--Christmas-boxing on my own-- I am rewarded with the “Order of the Sack”--Hard times--A home-made conj...

Chapters

39. CHAPTER XIX

My trip to the land of the Pharaohs--Giants and dwarfs on a P. & O. liner--We are ordered into Plymouth--Submarines--An exciting experience--Destroyers to the rescue--The dwarfs...

37. CHAPTER XVII

Spoofing a mesmerist--The spoofer spoofed--Spoof card tricks-- Racecourse sharps--The “dud” diamond wheeze--I am beautifully “had”--Three-card trick sharps--A Newcastle adventur...

33. CHAPTER XIII

The social side of music-hall life--The Vaudeville Club--A telephone wheeze--The swanking “pro.” and his mythical salary --About “tops” and “bottoms”--Ring up “625 Chiswick”--“B...

26. CHAPTER VI

Vienna and the Viennese--Churls by nature and instinct--How I made “There’s a Girl in Havana” go down there--Chorus men and waiters--Some innocent tricks of the music-hall trade...

38. CHAPTER XVIII

Sharing terms--Some tricks of the trade--Spoof telegrams--A Bradford dispute--I engage to fight “The Terror of the Meat Market”--A packed house--I enter a lion’s den--And am gla...

25. did. But I had achieved what I set out to do, by giving what I suppose

was the only unauthorised show ever performed in public at the Palace. Little did I dream as I took my departure, and still less, I suppose, did Mr. Morton dream, that I was aft...

32. CHAPTER XII

Bound for Cape Town--A pleasant voyage--Ships’ games--A contrast in voyages--“Cock-fighting” at sea--“Chalking the Pig’s Eye”--“Swinging the Monkey”--Marine cricket--A new kind...

27. CHAPTER VII

Eastward bound on the _Ortona_--Dinners and diners--Spoofing a chief steward--A brush with the master-of-Arms--“Queering” a poker game--Trouble in the smoke-room--We plan reveng...

36. CHAPTER XVI

Real spiritualism and sham mesmerism--Spoof séances--I ring one off on my landlady--The self-playing piano--The spirit that walked upside-down--Some simple explanations--Manufac...

31. CHAPTER XI

Harry Tate and I--Together we found the order of “The Beautiful Swells”--The Birmingham spoof supper--A mouth-watering menu --The “Beautiful Swells’” anthem--Cockroach soup--Pro...

29. CHAPTER IX

To New York on the _Mauretania_--Gambling on ocean liners--A “dear” old gentleman--Phenomenal luck--My suspicions are aroused--I play the part of a private detective--A puzzling...

20. CHAPTER I

Work as a telegraph messenger boy--First attempts at “public” entertainment--Small but appreciative audiences--I introduce the cycle to the Post Office--Christmas-boxing on my o...

28. CHAPTER VIII

The “Under the Earth” bar in Melbourne--A swimming challenge spoof--The Australian Vaudeville Association--My connection therewith--They present me with an Address--At Adelaide-...

30. CHAPTER X

Through the Great American Desert--A land of desolation--An adventure at Santa Fé--“Hands up!”--Railway strike methods in the wild and woolly West--At Kansas City--The Magicians...

35. CHAPTER XV

Muscle training on novel lines--How not to be blindfolded-- Artificially developed frontal muscles--The advantage of possessing a prominent proboscis--Following one’s nose--I st...

21. CHAPTER II

Practising conjuring--Why I rarely play cards--The great Maskelyne and Cooke box trick--I make a trick box of my own-- The “Flying Lady” who flew--away--In partnership with Gyps...

23. CHAPTER IV

Back in London--At the Westminster Aquarium--“The Pro.’s Casual Ward”--Zæo’s Maze--“Oriental beauties from the Far East-End of London”--“Fake” side-shows--A “fasting lady’s” pro...

22. CHAPTER III

I start a show of my own--Gypsy Brown plays me a dirty trick-- The hunchback in the box--Bank Holiday at Cheriton Fair--I plan to circumvent Gypsy Brown--And succeed only too we...

34. CHAPTER XIV

How the great spoof first came into my mind--Hoaxing the newspaper Press of two continents--Telepathy and thought-transference --The incredulous reporter--I propose a drastic te...

24. CHAPTER V

I give an impromptu show at the Palace Theatre--“Chuck him out!”-- I seek out Mr. Wieland again--At the Crystal Palace--I adopt my present make-up--“The Human Hairpin”--Charlie...

19. CHAPTER XIX

My trip to the land of the Pharaohs--Giants and dwarfs on a P. & O. liner--We are ordered into Plymouth--Submarines--An exciting experience--Destroyers to the rescue--The dwarfs...

12. CHAPTER XII

Bound for Cape Town--A pleasant voyage--Ships’ games--A contrast in voyages--“Cock-fighting” at sea--“Chalking the Pig’s Eye”--“Swinging the Monkey”--Marine cricket--A new kind...

14. CHAPTER XIV

How the great spoof first came into my mind--Hoaxing the newspaper Press of two continents--Telepathy and thought-transference--The incredulous reporter--I propose a drastic tes...

1. CHAPTER I

EARLY EXPERIENCES PAGE Work as a telegraph messenger boy--First attempts at “public” entertainment--Small but appreciative audiences--I introduce the cycle to the post office--C...

4. CHAPTER IV

Back in London--At the Westminster Aquarium--“The Pro.’s Casual Ward”--Zæo’s Maze--“Oriental beauties from the Far East-End of London”--“Fake” side-shows--A “fasting lady’s” pro...

10. CHAPTER X

Through the Great American Desert--A land of desolation--An adventure at Santa Fé--“Hands up!”--Railway strike methods in the wild and woolly West--At Kansas City--The Magicians...

7. CHAPTER VII

Eastward bound on the _Ortona_--Dinners and diners--Spoofing a chief steward--A brush with the master-at-arms--“Queering” a poker game--Trouble in the smoke-room--We plan reveng...

5. CHAPTER V

I give an impromptu show at the Palace Theatre--“Chuck him out!” --I seek out Mr. Wieland again--At the Crystal Palace-- I adopt my present make-up--“The Human Hairpin”--Charlie...

2. CHAPTER II

Practising conjuring--Why I rarely play cards--The great Maskelyne and Cooke box trick--I make a trick box of my own-- The “Flying Lady” who flew--away--In partnership with Gyps...

8. CHAPTER VIII

The “Under the Earth” bar in Melbourne--A swimming challenge spoof--The Australian Vaudeville Association--My connection therewith--They present me with an Address--At Adelaide-...

11. CHAPTER XI

Harry Tate and I--Together we found the order of “The Beautiful Swells”--The Birmingham spoof supper--A mouthwatering menu --The “Beautiful Swells” anthem--Cockroach soup--Prope...

6. CHAPTER VI

Vienna and the Viennese--Churls by nature and instinct--How I made “There’s a Girl in Havana” go down there--Chorus men and waiters--Some innocent tricks of the music-hall trade...

3. CHAPTER III

I start a show of my own--Gypsy Brown plays me a dirty trick-- The hunchback in the box--Bank Holiday at Cheriton Fair--I plan to circumvent Gypsy Brown--And succeed only too we...

13. CHAPTER XIII

The social side of music-hall life--The Vaudeville Club--A telephone wheeze--The swanking “pro.” and his mythical salary --About “tops” and “bottoms”--Ring up “625 Chiswick”--“B...

9. CHAPTER IX

To New York on the _Mauretania_--Gambling on ocean liners--A “dear” old gentleman--Phenomenal luck--My suspicions are aroused--I play the part of a private detective--A puzzling...

18. CHAPTER XVIII

Sharing terms--Some tricks of the trade--Spoof telegrams--A Bradford dispute--I engage to fight “The Terror of the Meat Market”--A packed house--I enter a lion’s den--And am gla...

15. CHAPTER XV

Muscle training on novel lines--How not to be blindfolded-- Artificially developed frontal muscles--The advantage of possessing a prominent proboscis--Following one’s nose--I st...

16. CHAPTER XVI

Real spiritualism and sham mesmerism--Spoof séances--I ring one off on my landlady--The self-playing piano--The spirit that walked upside-down--Some simple explanations--Manufac...

17. CHAPTER XVII

Spoofing a mesmerist--The spoofer spoofed--Spoof card tricks-- Racecourse sharps--The “dud” diamond wheeze--I am beautifully “had”--Three-card trick sharps--A Newcastle adventur...