CHAPTER VII

AUSTRALIAN EXPERIENCES

Eastward bound on the _Ortona_--Dinners and diners--Spoofing a chief steward--A brush with the master-at-arms--“Queering” a poker game--Trouble in the smoke-room--We plan revenge--And execute it--Potatoes as ammunition--The cold water cure-- The Captain sends for me--I decline to go--Trouble brewing-- I run my head into the lion’s mouth--And am frog-marched before the captain--A stormy interview--I am threatened to be put in irons--All’s well that ends well--A benefit performance at sea--Arrival in Melbourne--A tale of two champions--Rabbit shooting extraordinary--I bag a laughing jackass--And am hauled before the “beak”--Fined ten shillings and costs--I am glad at having “got the bird”--The “interfering parrot” 90