Category: Humour

A Trip to Scarborough; and, The Critic

_Enter TOM FASHION and LORY, POSTILION following with a portmanteau_. _Fash_. Lory, pay the postboy, and take the portmanteau. _Lory. [Aside to TOM FASHION_.] Faith, sir, we had better let the postboy take the portmanteau and pay himself. _Fash. [Aside to LORY_.] Why, sure, th...

Chapters

13. Chapter 13

Mr. _and_ MRS. DANGLE _discovered at breakfast, and reading newspapers_. _Dang. [Reading.] Brutus to Lord North.--Letter the second on the State of the Army_--Psha! _To the firs...

12. Chapter 12

Enter_ MISS HOYDEN, NURSE, _and_ TOM FASHION. _Fash_. This quick despatch of the chaplain's I take so kindly it shall give him claim to my favour as long as I live, I assure you...

16. Chapter 16

"_Two_ SENTINELS _discovered asleep_." _Dang_. Tilbury Fort!--very fine indeed! _Puff_. Now, what do you think I open with? _Sneer_. Faith, I can't guess-- _Puff_. A clock.--Har...

3. Chapter 3

_Enter_ LOVELESS _and_ AMANDA. _Love_. How do you like these lodgings, my dear? For my part, I am so pleased with them, I shall hardly remove whilst we stay here, if you are sat...

14. Chapter 14

MRS. DANGLE, SIGNOR PASTICCIO RITORNELLO, SIGNORE PASTICCIO RITORNELLO, INTERPRETER, _and_ MUSICIANS _discovered_. _Interp_. Je dis, madame, j'ai l'honneur to introduce et de vo...

17. Chapter 17

_Enter_ PUFF, SNEER, _and_ DANGLE. _Puff_. Well, we are ready; now then for the justices. [_Curtain rises._] "JUSTICES, CONSTABLES, &c., _discovered_." _Sneer_. This, I suppose,...

2. Chapter 2

_Enter_ LORD FOPPINGTON _in his dressing-gown, and_ LA VAROLE. _Lord Fop._ [_Aside._] Well,'tis an unspeakable pleasure to be a man of quality--strike me dumb! Even the boors of...

8. Chapter 8

_Enter_ MISS HOYDEN _and_ NURSE. _Nurse_. Well, miss, how do you like your husband that is to be? _Miss Hoyd_. O Lord, nurse, I'm so overjoyed I can scarce contain myself! _Nurs...

1. Chapter 1

_Enter TOM FASHION and LORY, POSTILION following with a portmanteau_. _Fash_. Lory, pay the postboy, and take the portmanteau. _Lory. [Aside to TOM FASHION_.] Faith, sir, we had...

5. Chapter 5

Enter_ LOVELESS _and_ SERVANT. _Love_. Is my wife within? _Ser_. No, sir, she has gone out this half-hour. _Love_. Well, leave me.--[_Exit_ SERVANT.] How strangely does my mind...

11. Chapter 11

_Enter_ LOVELESS. _Love_. Now, does she mean to make a fool of me, or not! I shan't wait much longer, for my wife will soon be inquiring for me to set out on our supping party....

4. Chapter 4

Enter_ LORD FOPPINGTON, _and_ LA VAROLE. _Lord Fop_. Hey, fellow, let thy vis-a-vis come to the door. _La Var_. Will your lordship venture so soon to expose yourself to the weat...

10. Chapter 10

_Enter_ LOVELESS. _Love._ So, thus far all's well: I have got into her dressing-room, and it being dusk, I think nobody has perceived me steal into the house. I heard Berinthia...

6. Chapter 6

_Enter_ TOM FASHION _and_ LORY. _Fash_. So here's our inheritance, Lory, if we can but get into possession. But methinks the seat of our family looks like Noah's ark, as if the...

15. Chapter 15

_Enter_ DANGLE, PUFF, and SNEER. _Puff_: No, no, sir; what Shakspeare says of actors may be better applied to the purpose of plays; they ought to be the abstract and brief chron...

9. Chapter 9

_Enter_ AMANDA _followed by her_ MAID. _Maid._ If you please, madam, only to say whether you'll have me buy them or not? _Aman._ Yes--no--Go, teaser; I care not what you do. Pr'...

7. Chapter 7

MISS HOYDEN _discovered alone_. _Miss Hoyd_. Sure, nobody was ever used as I am! I know well enough what other girls do, for all they think to make a fool o' me. It's well I hav...