Category: Humour
+Tim.+ Hum: I'm sorry the old man should lie by the hour; but, O, these wicked elder brothers, that swear refuse them,[1] and drink nothing but wicked sack; when we swear nothing but niggers-noggers, make a meal of a bloat herring, water it with four-shillings' beer, and then...
+Ant.+ Shall I tell thee? Thou art my slave; I took thee (then a Turk) In the fight thou know'st we made before Palermo: Thou art not in stricter bondage unto me Than I am unto...
53. ACT IV., SCENE I.+Ang.+ 'Twill be a dear experiment, to waste My prime and flower of youth, and suffer all Those liquid sweats to be extracted from me By the hot influence of consuming lust, Onl...
52. ACT III., SCENE I.+Bravo.+ I tell thee, boy, I do as much surpass Hercules at my rapier as he did me in club-fighting.[324] [I'll have you] draw[325] a register of those men that have been forced...
1. ACT I., SCENE I.+Tim.+ Hum: I'm sorry the old man should lie by the hour; but, O, these wicked elder brothers, that swear refuse them,[1] and drink nothing but wicked sack; when we swear nothin...
2. ACT II., SCENE I.+John.+ Yes, and shall conclude coxcomb, and I be fed with herring-bones. 'Sfoot, I say no more; but if we do want as much bread of our daily allowance as would dine a sparrow,...
51. ACT II., SCENE I.+Aur.+ This is the window. Now, my noble Orpheus, As thou affect'st the name of rarity, Strike with the soul of music, that the sound May bear my love on his bedewed wing, To ch...
6. ACT V., SCENE I.+Blood.+ I am up before you, son Ear-lack. Will Ancient Young be here with a rich wife too? Thy mistress is not stirring yet, sirrah. I'll hold my life the baggage slipped to th...
49. ACT V., SCENE I.+Dec.+ My fortune yet forsakes me not. There's something Whispers my soul that, though a storm did cloud My morning, I shall set the envy of My yet prevailing enemy. Had you, My...
54. ACT V., SCENE I.+Moc.+ Marry, sir, this. You brought me once into a paradise of pleasure and expectation of much comfort; my request therefore is, that you would no longer defer what then you s...
50. ACT I., SCENE I.+Lio.+ Now, sir, let me bid you welcome to your country and the longing expectation of those friends that have almost languished for the sight of you. [_Aside._] I must flatter...
9. ACT III.+Lod.+ Nay, do but judge of her, my lords, by one thing: whereas most of our dames go to confession but once a month, some twice a quarter, and some but once a year, and that up...
5. ACT IV., SCENE I.+Tim.+ Sirrah, whilst thou wert sent for into the next room, up came our second course; amongst others, in a dish of blackbirds, there lay one that I swore was a woodcock: you w...
48. ACT IV., SCENE I.+Cle.+ Floriana! Not so kind-natur'd, surely. I have put The sighs of courtiers in a scale, and find Some threescore thousand may weigh down a feather; I have tried their tears...
10. ACT IV.+Abs.+ Here, miserable, despis'd Abstemia, In Milan let thy misery take breath, Wearied with many sufferings. O Lorenzo! How far in love I am with my affliction, Because it call...
7. ACT I.[120+Lor.+ What do I care for that? let him seek new ones, Cannot make old ones better; and this new point (Young sir) may produce new smooth passages, Transcending those precedent....
8. ACT II.+Clown.+ 'Tis nothing but the last cup comes up in stewed broth. If ever you make true whore-master, I'll be bound to resign my place up to my lord's page; sea-sick, before you...
46. ACT II., SCENE I.+Capt.+ Come on, you Atlases of Arragon: You by whose powers the Castilian cloud Was forc'd to vanish. We have ferk'd Florentio In the right arm; made the enamour'd Don Retire t...
47. ACT III., SCENE I.+Vel.+ Sir, our general, The Lord Florentio, is a glorious master In th' art of war: and though time makes him not Wise at th' expense of weakness or diseases, yet I have beheld...
44. SCENE IX.+Ware.+ O nephew, welcome to my ransom! here My house is made a new erection; gallants Are brought in varied forms. Had I not look'd By providence into that frame, these two Had...
45. ACT I., SCENE I.+Cle.+ I thank my youth then For the tender of your service; 'tis the last Good turn it did me. But by this my fears Instruct me, when the old bald man, call'd Time, Comes steal...
3. ACT III., SCENE I.Hark you, widows; Randalls was disturbed in cogitations about lands, ploughs, and cheesepresses in Wales; and, by cat, hur have forgot where hur and hur meet soon at pright dark...
26. SCENE III.+Cyph.+ They went i' th' tilt-boat, sir, and I was one O' th' oars that rowed him: a coal-ship did o'errun us. I 'scaped by swimming; the two old gentlemen Took hold of one anot...
25. SCENE II.+Mis. Sea.+ Yes, sir, I And Mistress Holland here, my gossip, pass'd This way, and so call'd in. Pray, Master Plotwell, Is not my son here? I was told he went With you this morn...
23. SCENE VII.[194] "_Talc_, in natural history, is a shining, squamous, fissile species of stone, easily separable into thin, transparent scales or leaves."--Chambers's "Dictionary." It was...
27. SCENE IV.+Tim.+ Yes: and as for me, my destiny will be To fight by th' day, carry my kitchen and Collation at my back, wear orderly My shirt in course, after't has been the shift Of a wh...
35. SCENE VIII.+Ban.+ Madam, this is the gentleman I mention'd, I've brought him here, according to my function, To give you both an interview: if you Be ready, the church and priest are.
19. SCENE III.+Tim.+ Nay, they say You have a good wit, lady, and I can find it As soon as another. I in my time have been O' th' university, and should have been a scholar.
34. SCENE VII.+Bright.+ By your leave, madam! What, for practice' sake, Kissing your woman? Lord, how a lady's lips Hate idleness, and will be busied when The rest lies fallow! and rather tha...
15. SCENE IV.+Plot.+ Yes, he's gone; and, if He die by th' way, hath bequeath'd me but some Twelve hundred pound a year in Kent; some three- Score thousand pound in money, besides jewels, bo...
16. SCENE V.+Plot.+ Master Timothy! Welcome from the new world. I look'd you should Ha' past through half the signs in heaven by this, And ha' convers'd with the dolphins. What! not gone To...
4. letter I snatched from thee? [_To +Ancient+.+Moll.+ You wicked brother! Indeed I love you better than all the Besses in the world; and if to-night I shift not into better fortunes, to-morrow I am made the miserablest wife...
37. SCENE II.+Dor.+ I shall never Endure your conversation: I hope you have Contriv'd two beds, two chambers, and two tables. It is an article, that I should live Retir'd--that is, apart.
30. SCENE III.+Tim.+ Faith, all the virtue that they have is, that My lips are knighted. I am born, sweet lady, To a poor fortune, that will keep myself And footman, as you see, to bear my sw...
22. SCENE VI.+Tim.+ I have made Some speeches, sir, in verse, which have been spoke By a green Robin Goodfellow from Cheapside conduit,[216] To my father's company, and mean this afternoon T...
14. SCENE III.+Ware.+ Nay, tell me your mind plainly I' th' city-tongue. I'd have you speak like Cypher: I do not like quaint figures, they do smell Too much o' th' inns-of-court.
21. SCENE V.+Quart.+ Why, you mongrel, You John-of-all-trades, have we been your guests Since you first kept a tavern; when you had The face and impudence to hang a bush Out to three pints...
32. SCENE V.+Ware.+ As for her birth, I could wish it were meaner: as many knights And justices of peace as have been of The family are reckoned into the portion. She'll still be naming of...
18. SCENE II.+Aur.+ Never Poor lady had so much unbred holiness About her person; I am never dress'd Without a sermon; but am forc'd to prove The lawfulness of curling-irons, before She'll c...
20. SCENE IV.+Aur.+ O, you are A careful brother to put me on a course That draws the eyes o' th' town upon me, and makes me Discourse for ordinaries, then leave me in't. I will put off my l...
38. SCENE III.+Plot.+ Sir, I am sorry such a light offence Should make such deep impressions in you: but that Which more afflicts me than the loss of my Great hopes, is that y' are likely to...
29. SCENE II.+Plot.+ Sister, 'tis so projected, therefore make No more demurs: the life of both our fortunes Lies in your carriage of things well. Think therefore Whether you will restore me...
39. SCENE IV.+Cyph.+ Your two ships, sir, that were now coming home From Ormus, are both cast away: the wreck And burden on the place was valued at Some forty thousand pound. All the men per...
12. ACT I., SCENE I.+Ware.+ For, since I took him home, Though, sir, my nephew, as you may observe, Seem quite transfigur'd, be as dutiful As a new 'prentice, in his talk declaim 'Gainst revelling...
40. SCENE V.+Mis. Sea.+ Much joy to you, sir; you have made quick despatch. I like a man that can love, woo, and wed, All in an hour. My husband was so long A-getting me; so many friends' c...
28. ACT IV., SCENE I.+Sea.+ I did commit her to your charge, that you Might breed her, Mistress Scruple, and do require Her at your hand. Here be fine tricks, indeed! My daughter Susan to be stol'n...
42. SCENE VII.+Ware.+ Because, methinks, It should be Mars and Venus in a net; Aretine's postures,[261] or a naked nymph Lying asleep, and some lascivious satyr Taking her lineaments. These a...
36. ACT V., SCENE I.+Plot.+ Well, sister, by this hand, I was afraid You had marr'd all; but I am well content You have outreach'd me. If she do act it well now, By Jove, I'll have her.
33. SCENE VI.+Aur.+ Well, sir, since There is no remedy, your bed's prepar'd; By that time you are laid, I'll come. Meantime, I'll pray that gentleman to conduct you. There's My footman to p...
17. ACT II., SCENE I.+Aur.+ Why, we shall have you get in time the turn- Up of your eyes, speak in the nose, draw sighs Of an ell long, and rail at discipline. Would I could hear from Bannswright! E...
43. SCENE VIII.+Bright.+ We have been In danger to be searched: hereafter we Must first be question'd by an officer, And bring it under hands we are no men, Or have nought dangerous about us,...
24. ACT III., SCENE I.+Rose.+ Faith, I do grant This is the strangest fish. Yon I have hung His other picture in the fields, where some Say 'tis an o'ergrown porpoise; others say 'Tis the fish caught...
13. SCENE II.+Cyph.+ Yes, sir, a lady in distress; for I Could overhear the fellow say she must Sell her coach-horses, and return again To her needle, if your nephew don't supply her With mo...
41. SCENE VI.31. SCENE IV.+New.+ The very same, sir; The City-Cupid, that shoots arrows betwixt Party and party. All the difference is, He has his eyes, but they he brings together Sometimes do not see o...