SCENE II.

_Enter +Quartfield+ and +Salewit+, dressed like two trumpeters, keeping the door; +Mistress Seathrift+ and +Mistress Holland+, with a 'prentice before 'em, as comers-in._

+Quart.+ Bear back there!

+Sale.+ Pray you, do not press so hard.

+Quart.+ Make room for the two gentlewomen.

+Mis. Sea.+ What is't?

+Sale.+ Twelvepence apiece.

+Mis. Hol.+ We will not give't.

+Quart.+ Make room for them that will, then.

+Plot.+ O fortune, here's his mother!

+Bright.+ And who's the other?

+Plot.+ One Mistress Holland, the Great sempstress on the Exchange.

+Mis. Hol.+ We gave but a groat To see the last fish.

+Quart.+ Gentlewoman, that Was but an Irish sturgeon.

+Sale.+ This came from The Indies, and eats five crowns a day in fry, Ox-livers, and brown paste.

+Mis. Sea.+ Well, there's three shillings. Pray, let us have good places now.

+Quart.+ Bear back there!

+Mis. Hol.+ Look, Mistress Seathrift, here be gentlemen. Sure, 'tis a rare fish.

+Mis. Sea.+ I know one of 'em.

+Mis. Hol.+ And so do I; his sister was my 'prentice.

+Mis. Sea.+ Let's take acquaintance with him.

+Plot.+ Mistress Seathrift, Hath the sight drawn you hither?

+Mis. Sea.+ Yes, sir, I And Mistress Holland here, my gossip, pass'd This way, and so call'd in. Pray, Master Plotwell, Is not my son here? I was told he went With you this morning.

+Plot.+ You shall see him straight.

+Mis. Hol.+ When will the fish begin, sir?

+Bright.+ Heart! she makes him a puppet-play.

+Plot.+ Why, now, they only stay For company, 't has sounded twice.[224]

+Mis. Sea.+ Indeed I long to see this fish. I wonder whether They will cut up his belly; they say a tench Will make him whole again.

+Mis. Hol.+ Look, Mistress Seathrift, what claws he has!

+Mis. Sea.+ For all the world like crabs.

+Mis. Hol.+ Nay, mark his feet too.

+Mis. Sea.+ For all the world like plaice.

+Bright.+ Was ever better sport heard?

+New.+ Prythee, peace.

+Mis. Hol.+ Pray, can you read that? Sir, I warrant That tells where it was caught, and what fish 'tis.

+Plot.+ _Within this place is to be seen A wondrous fish. God save the queen._

+Mis. Hol.+ Amen! she is my customer, and I Have sold her bone-lace often.

+Bright.+ Why, the queen? 'Tis writ _the king_.

+Plot.+ That was to make the rhyme.

+Bright.+ 'Slid, thou didst read it, as 'twere some picture of An Elizabeth-fish.[225]

+Quart.+ Bear back there!

+Sale.+ Make room! you Friend, that were going to cut a purse there, make Way for the two old gentlemen to pass.

_Enter +Warehouse+ and +Seathrift+ disguised._

+Ware.+ What must we give?

+Quart.+ We take a shilling, sir.

+Sale.+ It is no less.

+Sea.+ Pray God your fish be worth it. What, is't a whale, you take so dear?

+Quart.+ It is a fish taken in the Indies.

+Ware.+ Pray despatch then, and show't us quickly.

+Sale.+ Pray, forbear: you'd have your head broke, cobbler.

+Ware.+ Yonder is my nephew in his old gallantry.

+Sea.+ Who's there too? my wife And Mistress Holland! Nay, I look'd for them. But where's my wise son?

+Ware.+ Mass, I see not him.

+Quart.+ Keep out, sir.

+Sale.+ Waterman, you must not enter.

[_+Cypher+ presses in like a waterman._

+Quart.+ This is no place for scullers.

+Cyph.+ I must needs speak With one Master Plotwell----

+Quart.+ You must stay.

+Sale.+ Thrust him out.

+Cyph.+ ----and one Master Seathrift On urgent business.

+Sale.+ They are yet employ'd In weightier affairs. Make fast the door.

[_They thrust him out._

+Quart.+ There shall no more come in. Come in, boy.

+Sea.+ Don't they speak as if my son were in the room?

+Ware.+ Yes, pray observe and mark them.

+Quart.+ Gentlemen And gentlewomen, you now shall see a sight Europe never show'd the like. Behold this fish!

[_Draws a curtain; behind it +Timothy+ asleep like a strange fish._

+Mis. Hol.+ O Strange! Look How It Sleeps!

+Bright.+ Just like a salmon upon a stall in Fish Street.

+Mis. Sea.+ How it snorts too! just like my husband.

+Ware.+ 'Tis very like a man.

+Sea.+ 'T has such a nose and eyes.

+Sale.+ Why, 'tis, a man-fish; An ocean centaur, begot between a siren And a he stock-fish.

+Sea.+ Pray, where took ye him?

+Quart.+ We took him strangely in the Indies, near The mouth of Rio de la Plata, asleep Upon the shore, just as you see him now.

+Mis. Hol.+ How say ye, asleep!

+Ware.+ How! Would he come to land?

+Sea.+ 'Tis strange a fish should leave his element!

+Quart.+ Ask him what things the country told us.

+Sale.+ You Will scarce believe it now. This fish would walk you Two or three mile o' th' shore sometimes; break houses, Ravish a naked wench or two (for there Women go naked), then run to sea again.

+Quart.+ The country has been laid,[226] and warrants granted To apprehend him.

+Ware.+ I do suspect these fellows: They lie as if they had patent for it.

+Sea.+ The company, Should every one believe his part, would scarce Have faith enough among us.

+Ware.+ Mark again.

+Sale.+ The States of Holland would have bought him of us, Out of a great design.

+Sea.+ Indeed!

+Sale.+ They offer'd a thousand dollars.

+Quart.+ You cannot enter yet. [_Some knock._

+Ware.+ Indeed! so much! Pray, what to do?

+Sale.+ Why, sir, They were in hope, in time, to make this fish Of faction 'gainst the Spaniard, and do service Unto the state.

+Sea.+ As how?

+Sale.+ Why, sir, next plate-fleet, To dive, bore holes i'th' bottom of their ships, And sink them. You must think a fish like this May be taught Machiavel, and made a state-fish.

+Plot.+ As dogs are taught to fetch.

+New.+ Or elephants to dance on ropes.

+Bright.+ And, pray, what honour would The states have given him for the service?

+Quart.+ That, sir, is uncertain.

+Sale.+ Ha' made him some sea-count; or, 't may be, admiral.

+Plot.+ Then, sir, in time, Dutch authors, that writ _Mare Liberum_,[227] Might dedicate their books to him?

+Sale.+ Yes, being A fish advanc'd, and of great place. Sing, boy! You now shall hear a song upon him.

+Bright.+ Listen.

+New.+ Do they not act it rarely?

+Plot.+ If 'twere their trade, they could not do it better.

+Sea.+ Hear you that, sir?

+Ware.+ Still I suspect.

+Mis. Hol.+ I warrant you, this fish Will shortly be in a ballad.

+Sale.+ Begin, boy.

+Song.+

_We show no monstrous crocodile, Nor any prodigy of Nile; No Remora that stops your fleet,[228] Like serjeants gallants in the street; No sea-horse which can trot or pace, Or swim false galop, post, or race: For crooked dolphins we not care, Though on their back a fiddler were: The like to this fish, which we show, Was ne'er in Fish Street, old or new; Nor ever serv'd to th' sheriff's board, Or kept in souse for the Mayor Lord. Had old astronomers but seen This fish, none else in heaven had been._

+Mis. Hol.+ The song has waken'd him; look, he stirs!

+Tim.+ O captain, pox--take--you--captain.

+Mis. Sea.+ Hark, he speaks!

+Tim.+ O--my--stomach----

+Ware.+ How's this?

+Sea.+ I'll pawn my life, this is imposture.

+Tim.+ O, O----

+Plot.+ Heart! the captain did not give him his full load.

+Ware.+ Can your fish Speak, friends? The proverb says they're mute.

+Quart.+ I'll tell you, You will admire how docile he is, and how He'll imitate a man: tell him your name, He will repeat it after you; he has heard me Call'd captain, and my fellow[s] curse sometimes, And now you heard him say, pox-take-you, captain.

+Sale.+ And yesterday, I but complain'd my stomach Was overcharg'd, and how he minds it!

+New.+ Strange!

+Bright.+ Ay, is it not?

+Plot.+ The towardness of a fish!

+Sale.+ Would you think, when we caught him, he should speak _Drake, Drake_?[229]

+Bright.+ And did he?

+Quart.+ Yes, and _Hawkins_;[230] A sign he was a fish that swam there when These two compass'd the world.

+New.+ How should he learn their names, I wonder?

+Sale.+ From the sailors.

+New.+ That may be.

+Quart.+ He'll call for drink, like me, or anything He lacks.

+Tim.+ O Gad, my head----

+Quart.+ D'you hear him?

+Tim.+ O hostess, a basin----

+Plot.+ 'Slid, he'll spew.

+Bright.+ No matter.

+Quart.+ Nay, I have seen him fox'd, and then maintain A drunken dialogue.

+Mis. Hol.+ Lord, how I long To hear a little! Pray try him with some questions; Will you, my friend?

+Quart.+ Sometimes he will be sullen, And make no answers.

+Sale.+ That is when he's anger'd, Or kept from drink long.

+Quart.+ But I'll try him.

+Mis. Sea.+ To see what creatures may be brought to!

+Quart.+ Tim, you are drunk.

+Tim.+ Plague take you, captain. O--Lord, you made me----

+Sea.+ 'Sdeath, my son's name! Tim do you call him?

+Sale.+ He'll answer to no name but that.

+Quart.+ And, Tim, what think you of a wench now?

+Tim.+ O, I am sick; where is she? O----

+Sea.+ I'll lay my life, this fish is some confederate rogue.

+Quart.+ I drink to you, Timothy, in sack.

+Tim.+ O, O!

+Quart.+ A health, Tim.

+Tim.+ I can drink no more,--O!

+Sale.+ What, not pledge your mistress!

+Tim.+ O, let me alone.

+Sale.+ He is not in the mood now; Sometimes you'd wonder at him.

+Quart.+ He is tired With talking all this day. That, and the heat Of company about him, dull him.

+Ware.+ Surely, My friends, it is to me a miracle To hear a fish speak thus.

+Quart.+ So, sirs, 't has been To thousands more.

+Sale.+ Come now next Michaelmas, 'Tis five year we have shown him in most courts In Christendom; and you will not believe, How with mere travelling and observation He has improved himself, and brought away The language of the country.

+Sea.+ May not I ask him Some questions?

+Quart.+ Sir, you may; but he Will answer none but one of us.

+Mis. Sea.+ He's used, and knows their voices.

[_Knocking at door._

+Sale.+ He is so, mistress. Now, we'll open door.

+Ware.+ Well, my belief doth tell me There is a mist before our eyes.

+Mis. Sea.+ I mar'l My wise son miss'd this show.

+Quart.+ Good people, we Do show no more to-day: if you desire

[_They draw the curtain before him._

To see, come to us in King Street to-morrow.

+Mis. Hol.+ Come, gossip, let us go; the fish is done.

+Mis. Sea.+ By your leave, gentlemen. Truly, 'tis a dainty fish.[231]

[_Exit +Mistress Seathrift+, +Mistress Holland+, and +'Prentice+._