Part 10

I departed from _Mutak_, and crossing over a Lake of a yellow Hue, I arriv’d at _Mikrok_, and proceeding to the capital City, I found the Gate shut. I was oblig’d to wait till the drowsy Centinel was pleas’d to open it, which was some considerable Time, it being secur’d with a Multitude of Locks, Bolts, and Bars. Entring, I observ’d a deep Silence reign throughout the whole City, except that my Ears were now and then assaulted by a Noise as of People snoring. I could not help fancying I was got into the Region of Sleep, as the Poets talk. Would to God, says I to myself, that several of the Magistrates, Senators, and a few other honest Countrymen of mine, who are dear Lovers of Peace, had had the Luck to be born in this blessed City! How sweetly and quietly would they live! And yet from the Signs in the Streets, and Inscriptions on the Houses, it was evident, that Arts and Sciences were not unknown here, and that Laws were exercis’d. Led by these Signs, I found out an Inn. No Entrance to be had. The Doors were all fast. And tho’ it was Noon with the rest of the World, it should seem it was Night to the Inhabitants of this City. At last, after having knock’d and bounc’d a long while, I was let in. Time is here divided into twenty-three Hours; nineteen of them are sacred to Sleep, the other four to Business. Suspecting, therefore, these People to be monstrously negligent both in their publick and private Affairs, I desir’d something to be brought me to eat, which they had ready in the House, fearing, if I had order’d any Thing to be dress’d, the Cook should fall asleep while it was about. But all Things are here done in the concisest and most compendious Manner; every Thing superfluous is omitted; and therefore this diminutive Day of theirs is long enough for all Sorts of Business. After Dinner, which was brought upon Table with a surprizing Expedition, my Host waited on me round the City. We went into a Temple, where we heard a Discourse, short indeed, with respect to the Time, but long enough considering its Importance. The Preacher went directly to his Subject. He us’d no Flourishes, no Tautologies, nor said one superfluous Thing. So that when I compare this Discourse with the long nauseous ones of Master _Petre_, the former is in Reality more copious than the latter. With the same Brevity Proceedings in Law are dispatch’d: The Advocates say all in few Words, and then produce their Witnesses. I remember to have seen a Copy of a Treaty of Alliance between this and a neighbouring Kingdom. It was couch’d in these Terms: _Let there be perpetual Friendship between the_ Mikrekians _and_ Splendikanians. _Let the Limits of the two Kingdoms be the River_ Klimac, _and the Top of Mount_ Zabor. _Sign’d_, &c. Thus in three Lines they express, what with us would require a Volume. Hence I am persuaded one may come to the Point with less Noise and less Loss of Time, if Superfluities were to be retrench’d; as a Traveller would find his Journey half as short again, were he always to go directly strait. The Natives here are Cypresses, and are distinguish’d from other Trees by Wens in their Forehead, which Wens have a stated Increase and Decrease. When they increase, a certain Humour distils from them, which falling upon the Eyes brings on a Drowsiness, and is an Indication of the approaching Night.

From hence to _Makrok_ is one Day’s Journey. Here the Inhabitants never sleep. Entring into the City, I stopp’d a Person, tho’ he seem’d to be in Haste, and begg’d he would be pleas’d to direct me to a good Inn. He reply’d he was very busy, and made the best of his Way forward. So great was the general Hurry of this Place, that they seem’d not to walk thro’ the Streets, but to run or fly, as if they were afraid of being too late. The least I could think was, that some Part of the City was on Fire, or that some other sudden and unlook’d for Disaster had frighted the Citizens out of their Senses. At last I cast my Eyes upon a Sign before a House, which signify’d it was an Inn. Here some were entring, others departing, others stumbling for Haste, insomuch that I was a Quarter of an Hour bustling in the Yard before I could gain Admittance. In a Moment I was ask’d a Multitude of impertinent Questions. One said, Where do you come from? Where are you going to? How long do you stay here? Another said, Will you dine alone, or with Company? If the latter, what Room will you dine in, the red, the green, the white, or the black Room? Or will you dine above Stairs, or below? with a thousand Impertinences of this Kind. My Host, who was a Clerk of one of the inferior Courts of Justice here, went away to Dinner, but soon return’d, and then gave me a long tedious Account of a Law-Suit that had been depending these ten Years, the Hearing of which was now coming on before the fourteenth Court. He told me, he hop’d it would be ended within two Years, since there were but two Courts remaining, beyond which there was no Appeal. He left me in great Astonishment, and convinc’d me, that this Nation was extremely busy in doing nothing. When my Landlord was gone, I walk’d about the House, and by Chance dropt upon a Library. It was large and well stock’d, with respect to the Number of Books, but a very indifferent one with respect to the Contents. Among those Books, which to Appearance were in best Condition, I observ’d the following,

1. Description of the Cathedral 24 Vols. 2. Relation of the Siege of _Pehunc_ 36 Vols. 3. Of the Use of the Herb _Slac_ 13 Vols. 4. Funeral Oration upon the Death of Senator _Jacksi_ 18 Vols.

My Landlord, at his Return to me, entertain’d me with a Description of the State of the City; and from what he said, I concluded that more Business was transacted by the sleepy _Mikrokians_, than by the waking _Makrokians_; that these play’d with the Shell, while the other eat the Kernel. The People here too are all Cypresses, and as to the outward Make of their Bodies, differ very little from the _Mikrokians_, excepting the Wens upon their Foreheads. They have not the same Blood or Juice in their Bodies which other Trees of this Globe have, but instead of Blood, they have a thicker Juice in their Veins, which is of a mercurial Quality and Appearance. Nay some think it is Quicksilver itself, inasmuch as in a Barometer it is found to have the same Effect.

At the Distance of about two Days Journey from hence lies the Republick of _Siklok_, which is divided into two Societies, in Alliance with each other, but govern’d by different and opposite Laws. The first is call’d _Miho_, founded by _Mihac_, a famous Lawgiver of old, and the _Lycurgus_ of the _Subterraneans_. In order to render his Republick stronger and more lasting, he made sumptuary Laws, which forbid all Luxury on the severest Penalties. And accordingly this Society, for its great Continence and Parsimony, may be justly call’d another _Sparta_. One Thing I wonder’d at, and that was, that in a Government so well constituted, and which piqu’d itself upon the Excellence of its Laws, there should be so many Beggars. For wherever I turn’d my Eyes, there was a Tree begging an Alms, which is a very troublesome Thing to Travellers. Upon a nice Inspection into the State of the Republick, I was convinc’d, that these Miseries flow’d from the too great Œconomy of the People. For all Luxury being proscrib’d, and the Rich baulking their Genius, and giving into no Indulgences, the common People of course must lead an indolent, idle, and beggarly Life, for want of Matter to make a proper Gain of. I concluded from hence, that rigid Parsimony in a State produces the same Inconveniences as an Obstruction of the Blood in a human Body. In the other Province, that of _Liho_, they live splendidly and jovially, and spare no Expence. Here Arts and Professions flourish; the People are encourag’d to Industry, and every Citizen has an Opportunity to raise a Fortune. Whoever is poor among them may fairly impute it to his own Negligence. Thus the Profusion of the Rich gives Life to the Body politick, as the Circulation of the Blood in the human Body gives Strength and Vigour to the Limbs.

The Territory of _Lama_ borders upon this. Here is the celebrated School of Physicians. With so much Ardour is the Study of Physick here pursued, that none are look’d upon as genuine Doctors, unless they come from the illustrious School of _Lama_. And hence this City is crouded with so many Doctors, that you see more of them than of all other Sorts of People put together. Whole Streets are fill’d with Shops of Apothecaries, and anatomical Instrument-Makers. Loitering about the City, I met a Tree offering to Sale the Bills of Mortality for the Year last past. I bought one of them, and to my great Surprize found the Births and Burials stand thus: Born fifty; buried six hundred. I could not conceive that in a Place, where _Apollo_ himself seem’d to have fix’d his Residence, there should be such a yearly Havock among the Citizens. I ask’d the Tree what unusual Plague or Pestilence had rag’d in the City the last Year. He reply’d, that two Years ago the Number of the Deceas’d was greater, that this was the common Proportion between the Births and Burials, and that the Inhabitants of _Lama_ were perpetually afflicted with Distempers, which hasten’d their Deaths; insomuch that in a short Time the City would be empty, if it were not supplied and recruited from the neighbouring Provinces. Upon this I hurry’d out of the City, not thinking it prudent to stay longer here, especially as the Name of a Physician, and the Sight of the anatomical Instruments, after what I had suffer’d in the Country of Philosophers, could not be very agreeable. Therefore leaving this Place, I never stopt, till I came to a Town four Miles distant, where the People live without Physicians, and without Diseases. In the Space of two Days, I arriv’d at the _Land of Liberty_. The People here are accountable to no Authority. They consist of separate Families, without being subject to any Laws or Power whatsoever. Yet an Appearance of Society is preserv’d, and in publick Matters they consult the Seniors, who perpetually exhort them to Peace and Unanimity, and admonish them never to depart from that primary Precept of Nature, of _doing to others, as you would be done by_. On all the Gates of the Cities and Villages a Statue of Liberty is erected trampling upon Chains and Fetters, with this Inscription over the Head, GOLDEN LIBERTY. In the first City I enter’d, all was quiet enough; yet I observ’d some of the Citizens distinguish’d themselves by certain Ribbands which they wore, and which, as I afterward understood, were Marks and Symbols of two Factions which then divided the People. The Avenues and Court-Yards of the Houses of the Great were lin’d with arm’d Soldiers, who always held themselves in Readiness, because the Truce being about two Days ago expir’d, the War was upon breaking out afresh. I fled away trembling as fast as I could, nor thought myself free, till I had convey’d myself out of Sight of this Land of Liberty.

The next Province is _Jochtan_, of which I had heard a short Description, which very much alarm’d me, and led me to think it must be the Seat of Disorder, Confusion, and Insecurity. For this Country was the Sink and Receptacle of all Religions. All the several Principles and Doctrines which prevail in any Part of this Globe, retire here as to their Center, and are taught publickly. Recollecting, therefore, what Troubles had been excited in _Europe_ by religious Differences, I was almost afraid to approach the capital City, the several Streets and Portions of which have all Churches and Temples for different and opposite Sects. But my Fears soon vanish’d, when I observ’d a profound Agreement and Concord reign in every Part. With respect to their Politicks, there was the same Face, the same Sentiments, the same Tranquillity, and the same Care in all. For as the Laws made it capital for one Member of the State to disturb another in his Way of Worship, or to molest him upon Account of any religious Difference, hence whatever Dissensions they had were without the least Appearance of Hostility, their Disputes were without Bitterness or Invectives, and they had no Aversions, because they had no Persecutions. There was a perpetual, but very honest and worthy Emulation among the several Sects, every one of which endeavour’d to demonstrate the Excellence of their Religion by the Purity of their Life and Morals. Thus by the Wisdom of the Magistrate, all these different Sentiments excited no more Troubles in the State, than did the different Shops of the Artists and Merchants in the _Forum_, where the Buyers are invited by the sole Goodness of the Commodity, and where they use neither Fraud, Force, or Disparagement. By these Means, the least Seed of Discord is stifled in the Birth, and that Sort of Emulation only encourag’d, which is honourable in itself, and advantageous to the State. This convinc’d me, that the religious Troubles which reign in many Places arise not from the Variety of Religions, but from Persecution alone. A sensible and learned _Jochtanian_ explain’d to me more at large the Genius of this Government, and the Causes of its Tranquillity. I heard him with Rapture, and his Observations I shall keep engrav’d on the Table of my Heart. I did indeed, for some Time, make Replies and Objections to him, but was at last forc’d to own myself vanquish’d, since he irresistibly prov’d all his Points by Arguments drawn from Experience. Asham’d, therefore, to contradict my Senses, and give the Lie to positive Matter of Fact, I was forc’d to own, that Liberty of Belief was the true Fountain of this Tranquillity and Concord. However, once more I attack’d my Adversary with an Argument different from all I had us’d. I told him it was the Duty of a Lawgiver, in erecting a Government, to regard the future, rather than the present Happiness of Mortals, and that he should conform his Scheme not so much to their Palate as to the Laws of God. To this he reply’d in this Manner: “My good Friend, says he, you are greatly deceiv’d, if you imagine that God, the Fountain of Truth, can be pleas’d with dissembled Worship. In other Nations, where all are oblig’d by publick Authority to one certain Rule of Faith, what a Door is open’d for Ignorance and Hypocrisy! Few, or none, have the Will or the Courage to discover their true Sentiments, and so they profess one Thing, and believe another. This makes the Study of Divinity a cold, lifeless Thing, and begets a Negligence in the Discovery of Truth. This also makes profane Learning more cultivated: For the Priests themselves, lest they should be branded with the Title of Hereticks, relinquish the Pursuit of sacred Things, and divert their Studies to other Subjects, where their Minds may range without Danger, and where their Liberty is not fetter’d. The Vulgar will still condemn all who depart from the reigning Doctrines. But Hypocrites and Dissemblers must be hateful to God, to whom a sincere, tho’ erroneous Belief, must be infinitely less displeasing than an orthodox, but pretended Faith.” Hearing this, I kept Silence, unable to dispute the Point any longer with so wise a People.

I had now been almost two Months out upon my Travels, when at last I arriv’d at _Tumbac_, a Territory contiguous to the _Potuan_ Dominions. I thought myself now at home, my wearisome Journey being almost finish’d. The Inhabitants of this Region are chiefly Wild Olives, extremely devout, and extremely censorious. In the first Inn I enter’d, I waited two Hours for my Breakfast, knocking and calling for it almost all that Time in vain. The Reason of this Delay, was the unseasonable Devotion of my Host, who would not, for the World, put his Hand to the least Thing, till he had finish’d his Morning Prayers.

_Tandem intrans magno porrexit murmure panem Pallidus, & caulem misero mihi ponit alentem Lanteram._

However, that Breakfast was one of the dearest in all my Travels, and I protest I never met with a Landlord more devout, or more unmerciful. Well! thought I to myself, this Landlord had better have pray’d less, and been more honest. But I dissembled my Resentment, well knowing how dangerous it is to provoke a Saint. The Citizens here were all _Cato’s_, all Censors of Manners. They walk’d up and down the Streets with pensive Looks and folded Arms, declaiming against the Vanity of the Times, and condemning every innocent Pleasure. Not a Gesture, not a Smile escap’d their Observation. And thus by their perpetual Censures, and envenom’d Zeal, they pass’d for Persons of eminent Sanctity. For my Part, as I was spent and exhausted with Fatigues, I made no Scruple of indulging in several innocent Diversions. But I got a bad Name by so doing, insomuch that every House I enter’d was like a Court of Justice, where I was sure to be arraign’d. Some, when they saw I was not at all mov’d by their Rebukes and Admonitions, shunn’d me like a Plague or a Contagion. I forbear to say more upon the Moroseness of this People: However, one Circumstance I must not omit, because it gives you their exact Character; and from this Sample you may judge of the rest. A certain _Tumbacian_, with whom I had been acquainted at _Potu_, being at an Inn, and seeing me go by, stept out to me, and press’d me to go in. I waited on him. As he had heard that I was far from being an Enemy to Pleasure, he gave me such a Lecture, and upbraided me with my Life and Morals in such Terms, that my Hair stood on End, and every Joint of me shook. But while our _Cato_ was discharging thus the Artillery of his Censures, the Glass had pass’d very insensibly, but very briskly, from one to the other, till in short we both fell fairly fuddled on the Floor, and were carried off half dead. Having slept off this Debauch, and recover’d my Reason, I set myself to examine into the Nature of these People’s Religion; and I made a fair Discovery, that their Zeal flow’d rather from some vicious Humours, or a Predominancy of the bilious Juices, than from true Piety. But I never communicated this to any one, and left them without saying a Word.

At last, after two compleat Months, I arriv’d at _Potu_, so extremely weary with such incessant Exercise, that my Legs had scarce Strength to support my Body. It was on the tenth Day of the Month of _Beeches_ that I enter’d this Capital. I went forthwith to his Serene Highness, and offer’d him my little Historical Collection, which he immediately order’d to be printed. (For it must be noted, that the Art of Printing, of which the _Europeans_ and _Chinese_ boast themselves to be Inventors, was of far greater Antiquity among the _Potuans_.) The People in general were so pleas’d with this Account of my Travels, that they were never weary of reading it. All Day long they were running about the Streets selling my Journal, and crying, as loud as they could, _A Journey round the World, by_ Scabba, _the King’s Messenger_. Elated with this Success, I gave a Loose to my Ambition, and aspir’d to some Employment of greater Weight and Dignity. But seeing my Hopes not quickly answer’d, I preferr’d a new Petition to the Prince, wherein extolling my late Labours, I earnestly implor’d his Highness to vouchsafe me a proper Recompence. The Prince, who was Humanity in the Abstract, was sensibly touch’d with my Case, and graciously promis’d that he would have a due Regard to me. He was as good as his Word: But his whole Favour terminated in the Enlargement of my annual Salary. I thought I had Reason to expect a far better Recompence, and therefore I could not rest contented with this. But as I would not trouble his Highness any further, I open’d my Grief to the Chancellor. He heard me with his usual Humanity, and promis’d me all the good Offices in his Power; but at the same Time admonish’d me to desist from so wild a Petition, and begg’d me to consider the Measure of my Abilities, and the Weakness of my Judgment. “Nature, says he, has been but a Step-Mother to you, and has deny’d you those Powers of the Mind, which are requisite for the more arduous Offices of the State; and therefore you should not aim at what it is not possible for you to procure. Nay, the Prince himself, were he to comply with this weak Request of yours, must suffer in his Fame, as a Violator of the Laws. Rest contented therefore with your Condition, and renounce a Hope, which Nature has made unreasonable.” In Conclusion, he own’d I had some Merit, and particularly extoll’d my late Performance. But it is not, says he, Merit of this Kind that paves the Way to State-Preferment. ’Tis true, you have drawn a very pretty Picture of the World; but if for a Performance of this Kind we were to gratify you with the most honourable Employments, why might not a Painter for drawing a great Likeness, or a Sculptor for exhibiting a Statue in just Proportion, with as much Reason expect to be made a Senator? Merit should doubtless meet with a Recompence, and Rewards should be assign’d to the Deserving; but then they should be Rewards of such a Nature, as that the Commonwealth receive no Detriment, and suffer no Ridicule.

These Admonitions silenc’d me for a While. But as I could not bear to think of growing old in this vile Employ, I resum’d that desperate Resolution, which had laid dormant a long Time, of attempting a Reformation in the State, by which Project I might, at one and the same Time, help forward the publick Good, and my own too.

A little before I set out upon my late Travels, I had closely study’d the Nature of this Government, to see if I could discover any Defects, and at the same Time what Remedies were proper for them. Since that, in the Province of _Cockleku_, I had observ’d that the Government there was in a tottering Condition, by reason of the Admission of Women to the Management of publick Affairs, that Sex being naturally ambitious, still aiming to extend their Power, nor ever resting till they have acquir’d a full and absolute Authority. Hereupon I determin’d to bring in a Bill to exclude that Sex from the Administration of publick Affairs. I flatter’d myself I should find Multitudes to abet and espouse this Point, since it was an easy Matter to make it very clear, and to shew beyond Contradiction the Misfortunes that flow from this Defect in the State, and the Danger the Male Sex was in, unless the Wings of such an unnatural Power were timely clipt. And if it should so happen, that the Abolition of this ancient Custom should appear to some to be too hazardous an Attempt, in such Case I humbly offer’d, that the Female Power should be at least restrain’d and abridg’d.

This Scheme of mine had three Ends in view. First, to remove an Inconvenience the State labour’d under. Secondly, by producing a Specimen of my Sagacity and Judgment, I had Hopes to mend my Condition. And, thirdly, I thought by these Means to revenge certain Taunts and Affronts I had receiv’d from many of the Females of this Country. I frankly confess, that my own private Interest, and a Desire of Revenge, were the _primum Mobile_ of this Project. But then I artfully conceal’d these Views, lest under a Pretence of publick Good, I should seem only to pursue my own, and so tread in the Steps of other Innovators, whose Schemes breathe nothing but the publick Good, when it is evident to the dullest Observer, that their private Interest is the Spring that moves the whole Machine.