Part 11

And now, having drest my Project out to the best Advantage, and strengthen’d it by the most powerful Reasons I could invent, I waited upon the Prince, and humbly offer’d it to him. His Highness, who had always testify’d a great Regard to me, was thunderstruck at the Boldness and Folly of my Undertaking, which he foreboded must end in my irreparable Ruin. Wherefore he endeavour’d to dissuade me from this mad Attempt by the strongest Intreaties:

——_Precibusque minas regaliter addit._

I, for my Part, relying as well upon the Utility of my Project, as upon the Favour of the Male Sex (who I was in Hopes would not desert the common Cause) remain’d immovable to all his Highness said, nor could his repeated Admonitions vanquish my Obstinacy. In fine, according to the Custom of the Country, I was brought to the _Forum_, and there, with my Neck in a Halter, I stood waiting the Judgment of the Senate. That venerable Body debated the Matter, and soon came to a Resolution; which Resolution was sent up to the Prince for his Confirmation; and being return’d by him, was read aloud by a publick Officer. It run thus:

“After due Examination, we are of Opinion as follows: That the Project of _Scabba_, the King’s Messenger, to exclude the Female Sex from publick Business, cannot take Effect without the highest Detriment to the Commonwealth, since no less than Half of the Nation, which consists of the said Sex, must look upon this Innovation as a very great Hardship, and their Resentment may occasion infinite Disorders. Moreover we are of Opinion, that it is absurd and unjust, intirely to exclude Trees of the finest Talents from publick Honours, especially as Nature, who does nothing in vain, can never be suppos’d to have given them all those noble Advantages to no Purpose. We are persuaded, that for the Welfare of the State, Regard ought to be had not to the Name, but the Abilities of a Person. And as a Country may often labour under a Want of able Persons, we think it a great Folly, by one Act of Senate, to render one intire Half of the Nation incapable and unworthy of Employment, solely upon Account of their Birth. For these and divers other good Reasons we are of Opinion, that the said _Scabba_, for this foolish and rash Attempt, ought to be punish’d according to the Custom of our Ancestors.”

The Prince was extremely concern’d for my Misfortune, but as he never rescinded the Decree of the Senate, he sign’d it with his own Hand, and affix’d the Royal Seal to it, and commanded it to be made publick, inserting however this mollifying Clause, That as I was a Foreigner, a Native of a new and unknown World, where forward Geniuses are in great Esteem, I should be exempted from capital Punishment. But lest by a total Remission of the Sentence the Laws should suffer an Infringement, it was therefore thought fit to detain me in Prison till the Beginning of the Month of _Birches_, and that then, with other Violators of the Law, I should be banish’d to the Firmament.

This Sentence being publish’d, I was clapt into Prison. Some of my Friends persuaded me to protest against this Sentence, since among my Judges there were so many Matrons and Virgins, all Judges in their own Cause. Some advis’d me, as the safer Way, to make a fair Acknowledgment of my Crime, and lay the Blame upon my own native human Weakness. But this last Advice I rejected with great Constancy, out of Respect to Mankind, upon whose Character such a Confession would leave an indelible Blemish.

I heard soon after, that his Highness had determin’d to give me an absolute Pardon, if I would but only prostrate myself at his Feet, confess my Fault, and implore his Favour, although _Rahagna_ the Treasurer oppos’d that Motion with Might and Main. But, to speak the Truth, I was not displeas’d with the Sentence. For Death was not half so terrible to me as that Employment they pick’d out for me; and I was weary of conversing longer with these Trees, who had so high an Opinion of their Wisdom. I hop’d also to meet with better Treatment in the Firmament, where I had heard, that all Strangers, without Distinction, were kindly receiv’d.

CHAP. X.

_The Author’s Banishment to the_ +Firmament+.

I have hitherto said nothing concerning the strange and very singular Punishment the _Potuans_ have, of banishing to the Firmament: Wherefore I think myself oblig’d in this Place, to give some Account of it.

Twice every Year certain Birds of an enormous Magnitude appear upon this Globe. They are call’d _Cupac_, that is to say, Birds of Post, and at stated Seasons they come and go. It has long perplex’d the Subterranean Naturalists to account for this periodical Visit. Some think they descend upon this Planet in Quest of certain Insects, or large Flies, of which there are prodigious Numbers about this Time of the Year, and of which these Birds are exceedingly voracious. This Opinion is strengthen’d by this Circumstance, that when these Flies disappear, the Birds fly off towards the Firmament. An evident Proof of this we have in other Countries, where Birds by the same Instinct of Nature appear, and for the very same Causes. Others think that these Birds are train’d up and instructed to this very End and Purpose by the Inhabitants of the Firmament, like our Falcons and other Birds of Prey. This Hypothesis receives some Countenance from that Tenderness, Care, and Dexterity, which these Birds use in bringing home their Prey, and laying it gently down before their Masters. Other Circumstances also shew, that these Creatures are either thus instructed, or else that they have a certain Portion of Reason to direct them; for at the Approach of the Season of _Departure_, they are so tractable and tame, that they suffer certain Nets, or small Chains, to be thrown over them, under which they lie quiet for many Days, and are fed out of Hand by the Inhabitants with the aforesaid Flies, of which they take Care to provide a great Quantity for this very Purpose. For it is necessary to keep feeding them till all Things are prepar’d and got ready for those who are to be banish’d. The Apparatus for their Departure is as follows: On those Nets, in which they are intangled, a Box or Cage is fasten’d with Cords. Every Cage is capable of containing one Person. The Time now drawing near, and the Insects failing which supply’d them with Food, the Birds mount upon Wing, and cutting the Air, return to the Place from whence they came. Such was this wonderful Passage, by which I and several other Exiles were to be translated to a new World.

There were also at this Time two Citizens of _Potu_, who for different Crimes were sentenc’d to Banishment, and were now preparing for their Journey. One of these was a Metaphysician, who had incurr’d this Punishment by disputing concerning the Essence of God, and the Nature of spiritual Substances. He had satisfy’d the Law for his first Offence of this Kind, by undergoing the Punishment of _the Arm_; but being a second Time detected, he was condemn’d to be banish’d to the Firmament. The other was a Fanatick, who having conceiv’d some Doubts concerning Religion, and concerning the civil Rights of the State, attempted to subvert the Foundations of each. He refus’d to obey the publick Laws, under Pretence that such Obedience was contrary to the Dictates of his Conscience. His Friends endeavour’d, by the most powerful Arguments, to cure him of this Conceit, by shewing him how many Delusions these Impulses of Conscience and imaginary Inspirations were subject to; they told him, that Zeal and Conscience were often confounded with Melancholy and certain corrupt Humours of the Body; they demonstrated to him the egregious Folly of thus appealing to the Authority of Conscience, and how unjust it was to contend that the Impulses of his Mind should be a Rule to others, who might make use of the same Argument, and oppose Conscience to Conscience. At last they prov’d to him, that whoever firmly held this Principle, pretending Conscience for his Disobedience, ought to be excluded from the Rights and Benefits of the Community, since every good Subject should pay an implicit Obedience to the Laws; but that a Fanatick neither cou’d nor wou’d pay such an Obedience, since his Conscience was his sole Rule of Politicks. But as these Reasons had no Effect upon the Mind of our Fanatick, he continued obstinate and incorrigible, and so was condemn’d to the Firmament. Thus at this Time there were only three of us to undergo this Punishment, a Projector, a Metaphysician, and a Fanatick.

About the Beginning of the Month of _Birches_, we were all carry’d from Prison to separate Places. What became of the Metaphysician and the Fanatick I know not, as being too full of Cares for myself to mind any Thing else. Being brought to the destin’d Place of Departure, I was forthwith thrust into the Box or Cage, with as much Provision as would serve me for two or three Days. Soon after this, when the Birds found no more Flies brought them, as if they took the Hint, they left the Place, and flew off with incredible Celerity. The Distance of the Firmament from the Planet _Nazar_, is reputed by the Subterraneans to be about an hundred Miles. How long I was in passing from the one to the other I cannot say, but to me this ætherial Voyage seem’d to be no more than about four and twenty Hours. After a profound Silence, at last a confus’d Noise seem’d to reach my Ears, from whence I conjectur’d I was not far from Land. Then it was I perceiv’d that these Birds had been carefully exercis’d and instructed; for with great Art and Care they landed their Burden, so as not in the least to injure or hurt it. In a Moment I was surrounded with a prodigious Number of Monkies, the Sight of which put me into a very great Fright, remembring what I had suffer’d from these Animals upon the Planet _Nazar_. But my Fright redoubled, when I heard these Monkies articulately discourse with one another, and when I beheld them clad in diverse-colour’d Vestments. I then conjectur’d that they were the Inhabitants of this Country. But as after that Heap of Wonders I had been accustom’d to, nothing now could well seem new or strange, I began to recover my Courage, especially as I had observ’d that these Creatures approach’d me with an Air of Civility and Good-nature, taking me gently out of my Cage, and receiving me with the Humanity due to Strangers. Even Ambassadors in our World are hardly receiv’d with more Ceremony than I was. They all came one after another, and address’d me in these Words, _Pul Asser_. When they had repeated this Salutation pretty often, I repeated the same Words. Upon this they set up an immoderate Laugh, and by a Multitude of comic Gestures, signify’d they were highly delighted to hear me pronounce them. This made me conclude these People to be a light, babbling Race of Creatures, and vast Admirers of Novelty. When they spoke, you wou’d think so many Drums were beating, with so much Volubility, and so little out of Breath, they held on their Chattering. In a Word, as to Dress, Manners, Speech, and Form of Body, they were the very Reverse of the _Potuans_. At first they were all astonish’d at my Figure, and the chief Reason of that Astonishment was, that I wanted a Tail. For as among the whole Brute Creation none so much resemble the human Form as Monkies, so, had I had a Tail, they would have taken me for one of their own Species, especially as all those who had hitherto been transported from the Planet _Nazar_ to this Place, were of a Form extremely unlike their own. About the Time of my Arrival here the Sea ran very high, by reason of the near Approach of the Planet _Nazar_: For as with us the Tides of the Ocean correspond with the Course of the Moon, so the Ocean of this Firmament increases and decreases according to the Vicinity or Remoteness of the aforesaid Planet.

Presently I was conducted to a very noble House, all beautifully set off with costly Stone, Marble, Mirrors, Vases, and Tapestry. At the Gate were Centinels posted, which gave me to understand that this could not be the Dwelling of a vulgar Monkey. And I was soon inform’d, that it was the House of the Consul or chief Magistrate. He was very desirous of conversing with me, and therefore hir’d some Masters to instruct me in their Language. Near three Months had been spent upon my Instruction, at the Expiration of which, as I could now speak the Tongue pretty fluently, I hop’d to gain the Applause and Admiration of all, upon Account of the Forwardness of my Genius, and the Strength of my Memory. But my Tutors thought me slower and duller than ordinary, insomuch that they lost all Patience, and threaten’d to leave me off. And as at _Potu_ I was call’d in Derision _Scabba_, or Quick-Parts, so here, by reason of my Stupidity and Dulness, they gave me the Name of _Kadicoran_, which signifies a Clown, or Dunce. For those alone are here esteem’d, who are quick and nimble, and cover their Sense in a confus’d and rapid Volley of Words. While I was learning the Monkey-Language, my Host took me round the City, which I beheld dissolv’d in every Kind of Luxury. What with the Multitude of Coaches, Chaises, Valets, and a Croud of People hurrying every Way, we were obliged to use a Sort of Force to get on. Yet this was nothing, if compar’d to that Luxury which reign’d in the Metropolis, where, as in its Center, you might see all that mortal Vanity could invent. Being now taught the Language, I was brought to this famous Capital by my Host, who hop’d to purchase the Favour of a Senator, by making him a Present of so uncommon a Curiosity as I was. For the Form of Government here is aristocratical, so that the Sovereign Authority resides in the Grand Senate, the Members of which are all noble from first to last. None of plebeian Family can ever hope to be more than a Centurion or Prætor in the Provinces or lesser Cities. Sometimes, indeed, one of this Class may arrive at the Consulate, yet never without some very extraordinary Merit. Thus it was my Host obtain’d the Consulship; for so fertile was his Genius, that in the Space of one Month, he projected twenty-eight new Laws. And though not half of them were calculated for the Good of the Publick, yet they were Specimens of a fruitful Invention, and procur’d him a great Character. For throughout the whole subterranean World, there is no Place where Projectors are in more Esteem than in this. The capital City is call’d _Martinia_; it gives Name to the whole Country, and is famous for its fine Situation, for the Grandeur of its Buildings, its Commerce, and naval Force. For Extent of Ground, and Number of Inhabitants, I believe it may rival _Paris_. So crouded was every Street, that we were forc’d to beat our Way through to go to that Part of the City where the Syndick of the Senate liv’d. For he it was to whom the Consul was to present me.

When we drew near to the Syndick’s House, my Friend the Consul went into an Inn, to put himself in Order, and to compose his Person and Habit in a Manner fit to appear before the Syndick. Immediately there appear’d a little Army of occasional Valets or Footmen, commonly call’d _Maskatti_, whose Assistance every one makes use of before they enter the Palaces of the Senators. These brush your Cloaths, take out the Spots, and with the exactest Care adjust whatever is discompos’d, even to the smallest Plait. One of these _Maskatti_ took the Consul’s Sword, and wip’d it clean and bright, and then return’d it him. Another dress’d his Tail with Ribbands of various Colours: For these Monkies have nothing more at Heart than the Ornaments of their Tails. There were some Senators, and especially some of the Wives of the Senators, whose Tails on high Occasions could scarcely be dress’d out to the best Advantage under two or three hundred Pounds Sterling. A third approach’d the Consul with a geometrical Instrument, to take the Dimensions of his Cloaths, and to see if all hung in due Proportion. A fourth brought a Bottle of Paint, and with it improv’d his Visage. A fifth examin’d his Feet, from which he par’d the Superfluities. A sixth brought him perfum’d Water to wash with. In short, one brought a Towel, another a Comb, another a Looking-Glass, and all with an Exactness not inferior to that of a Geometrician measuring and adorning his Map. Oh! thought I to myself, how much Time and Expence must the Dress of the Ladies here require, when there is so much Fuss in tricking out one of our Sex? And, indeed, the _Martinian_ Ladies exceed all Bounds, and cover their Defects with such a Load of Paint, as makes their Persons offensive. For when the Sweat and Paint are pretty well united, it exhales an Odour like that of your great Kitchens; what you smell you know not, but this you know, that it is something very disagreeable.

My Host thus painted, powder’d, comb’d and polish’d, went to the Syndick’s Palace, attended only with three Valets. When he came to the Court-Yard he pull’d off his Shoes, lest he should afterwards disoblige the Marble Floor with Dirt or Dust. He was forc’d to stay a full Hour before the Syndick was inform’d that he was there, nor was he introduc’d without a proper Gratification to some of the Guards and Servants. The Syndick, seated on a gilt Settee, as soon as he espy’d me entring with my Host, burst out into an ungovernable Laughter, and afterward ask’d me a thousand trifling, foolish Questions. To every Reply I made him, he redoubled his Fits of Laughter.

_Ingeminat tremulos naso crispante cachinnos._

For my Part, I was of Opinion, that to play the Buffoon was reckon’d among the Virtues here, since the Government had made this Person Syndick, which is the second Dignity in the Senate; and I observ’d as much to my Friend. But he assur’d me, he was a Monkey of great Abilities, as appear’d from the Multitude of Business of various Sorts, which even in his greener Years he went through. For such was his Readiness of Perception, that even over a Glass he would transact Affairs of the utmost Weight; nay even at Dinner, or at Supper, between the Courses, he would often draw up a new Law. I enquir’d if such Laws, conceiv’d in so short a Space of Time, were of any considerable Duration. To this he only reply’d, that like other Laws they continued in Force, till it pleas’d the Senate to abrogate or repeal them.

The Syndick, having convers’d with me about half an Hour, and with full as great a Degree of Loquacity as our _European_ Barbers, turn’d himself about to my Friend, and told him, he would take me into the Number of his Servants, though upon Account of my slow Intellects he much doubted whether I could be good for any Thing. _I have myself_, reply’d my Friend the Consul, _observ’d a natural Torpor or Dulness in him, but give him Time for Reflexion, and you will find he has no contemptible Judgment_. That signifies little here, return’d the Syndick, since our Multiplicity of Business admits of no Delay. With these Words he fell to examining my Limbs and my Body, and after having survey’d them a short Time, he commanded me to lift up a certain Weight from the Ground, which I did without much Trouble. Upon this he told me, that though Nature had been unkind to me with respect to my Intellects, yet that she had in a Manner compensated that Defect by an extraordinary Strength of Body. I was then order’d to withdraw to another Apartment, where the Domesticks and Attendants receiv’d me with a good deal of Pleasure, though their excessive Impertinence and Gestures were troublesome enough. So many Questions they ask’d me concerning our World, I knew not how to answer them, and so gave them what came uppermost, some Truth, some Falshood, just to allay their impatient Curiosity.

At length my Friend returning, told me his Excellence did me the Honour to retain me in his Court. From the foregoing Conversation of the Syndick I could guess, that the Employment design’d for me was no very important one, probably his Valet, or his Butler; and upon enquiring what it was, my Friend said to me, His Excellence has been graciously pleas’d to appoint you one of his Body Chairmen, with an annual Salary of twenty-five _Stercolates_. (A _Martinian Stercolate_ is equal to about seven Shillings and Six-pence _Sterling_.) He has moreover engag’d, that you shall have the Honour of carrying only himself, or his Lady. I was thunderstruck with this Answer, and remonstrated in the most pathetic Manner how unworthy an Office this was for one of my ingenuous Education and Family. But some Courtiers rushing in in Heaps, interrupted me from speaking more, and half kill’d me with their Impertinence. For all the _Martinians_ are light, frothy, talking Creatures, that have a smooth, fluent Jargon of Words, without the least Mixture of Seriousness or Gravity. At length I was conducted to an Apartment, where Supper was ready; and having taken a moderate Repast, I retir’d to my Repose.

I threw myself upon my Bed, but such was the Disorder of my Mind, I could take no Sleep. The Disdain I was receiv’d with shock’d me to the highest Degree, and nothing less than a _Spartan_ Patience could digest so gross an Indignity. I heartily deplor’d my Fate, which seem’d severer now than what I had experienc’d in the Planet _Nazar_, and I could not help saying to myself, “What would here become of the _Kadoki_, or High Chancellor of _Potu_, a Person of inestimable Worth in his own Country, but who requir’d at least an intire Month to form a new Law? What would be the Fate of _Palmka_ in this Place, where the Senators make Laws between the Courses at Meals?” After a serious Consideration, I found myself translated from a Land of Sages to a Country of Fools. At last being tir’d with thinking, Sleep overpower’d me. I know not how long I slept, since there is here no Difference between Night and Day. For it is never dark except at one stated Time, when the subterranean Sun is in an Eclipse by the Interposition of the Planet _Nazar_. This Eclipse is very remarkable, because the aforesaid Planet, being not far from the Firmament, overshadows the whole Sun, and so always makes the Eclipse total. But as this happens but seldom, it makes no Alteration of Season, which is here invariably the same upon Account of the constant Presence of the Sun. Hence the Inhabitants are forc’d to have Recourse to various Inventions, as Groves, Baths, Walks, and Grotto’s, to qualify the Heat.

I was scarce awake, when a Monkey enter’d my Chamber, who told me he was my Comrade in Office, and with a slight Cord (being order’d so to do) he apply’d a fictitious Tail to my Posteriors, to make me look more like a Monkey. He then bid me get ready, because the Syndick within an Hour was to be carry’d to the Academy, to which Place he and his Brother Senators had receiv’d a formal Invitation. It seems there was to be a Promotion to a Doctor’s Degree at Ten o’Clock that Morning. It must be noted here, that though the Days are not distinguish’d from the Nights, by reason of the perpetual Presence of the Sun, yet are they distinguish’d into Hours, half Hours, and Quarters, and that by Means of Clocks or Hour-Glasses, so that Day and Night together take up about twenty-two Hours. Hence, if all the Clocks in the City were to stop at once, it would be impossible for the Citizens to recover the true Time, till they had consulted some of the Clocks in the next Neighbourhood. For there neither are, nor can be, any Sun-Dials, because there is never any Shadow, the Sun continually darting perpendicular Rays upon the Place. So that were you to dig a Well here, it would be illuminated to the Bottom. As to the Year, that is regulated and governed by the Course of the Planet _Nazar_ round the Sun.