Chapter 2

Leasing Leasing or Farming, we are taught, Was introduced 'bout twelve-nought-nought; The Feudal system's weakened and The Tenants 'usufruct' the land. On various counts the serfs go free And work for wages (Edward Three). The Black Death and the foreign wars In labour ranks commotion cause; Strikes and craftsmen's combination Then arise among the nation; These movements preached by one John Ball, Who, born too soon, was hanged withal.

Richard II. Now comes the Second Richard's reign. 1377-1399 It is recorded very plain That he was full of discontent Quarrelling with his Parliament.

Poll Tax With his taxes super-sated 1380 The peasants grew exasperated; They threw their spades and pitchforks down And marched as rebels into town. Thirteen-eighty's Poll taxation Puts equal tax on all the nation; Lays seven thousand peasants dead; Wat Tyler and Jack Straw at head. Praemunire Praemunire Act is passed To check the Papal Bulls at last. Chaucer Chaucer the Poet this same year Makes Pilgrimage to Becket's bier.

Age of This was the age, aye verily, Chivalry Of ryghte goode noble chivalry, When Knights went forth through storm and stress To rescue beauty in distress.

Or sallied out in valiant way A monster dragon for to slay, Or with lance or trusty blade Defend from harm the hapless maid.

Henry IV. Henry Four, called 'Bolingbroke' 1399-1413 In Richard's wheel puts many a spoke; Compels him to resign the throne Which thereupon he makes his own. Through John of Gaunt, Lancastrian famed, His title to the crown he claimed; The Parliament confirms his right And thus he's king without a fight. In this reign persecution's turned Lollards Against the Lollards--Cobham's burned. 1401 Incredible! The records show A statute 'de Comburondo.'

Henry V. From fourteen-thirteen, Henry Five, 1413-1422 For many years with France did strive; His Widow founds the Tudor House By taking Owen for her spouse.

Henry VI. Henry Six, next in our rhymes, 1422-1461 For fifty years had troublous times; Wars of Roses, Wars with France, The poor man never had a chance. Joan of Arc Joan of Arc the peasant Maid 1430 Inspired the French with Mystic aid; Disunited, we make peace, All France but Calais we release. Constantinople Constantinople's seized by Turks 1453 Causing Greek Scholars (with their works) To fly to Italy; and thence Learning's reborn--'The Renaissance.'

Edward IV. In Edward Fourth, fourteen-six-one 1461-1483 The House of York obtains the Throne. He wins at Towton's bloody fray, No quarter given on that day. Guy, Earl of Warwick in these frays Was always turning different ways; Barnet On Barnet Field he met his doom 1471 The Rose of York's now well abloom. The Barons, Church and Commons fall, The King emerges Boss of all. Benevolences he exacts, An early form of Super Tax. Earl of 'Kingmaker' was Earl Warwick styled Warwick With his manner scarcely mild He set Kings up and bowled them down Playing at ninepins with the Crown.

Wars of Roses White and Red Rose warring madly 1485 Bled the country very sadly, Three-and-thirty years contending; At Bosworth Field we see the ending. Printing First in fourteen-seventy-three 1473 We print from type in this Countree. Now it is that time's first measured By monster watches greatly treasured. Thomas Parr this centurie His hundred-fifty years did see; But Henry Jenkins, so 'tis said, In age was seventeen years ahead. Hoary patriarchs were these Retaining p'raps their faculties; What a comfort 'tis to mention Neither drew the old age pension.

Printing started through the Nation A taste for higher education; Here is a citizen at home; Note his very brainy Dome.

Richard III. Richard (Crookback) in fateful hour 1483-1485 Smothered his nephews in the Tower, He murdered them the Crown to gain; A heavy price for three years' reign. The Scutcheon's blotted terribly Of this King Richard number Three, For it seems his recreation Was ordering decapitation. 1485 On Bosworth Field when sorely pressed He made a bid th'uncommonest 'My kingdom for a horse' he cried; No offers coming, there he died.

Henry VII. Lancastrian Richmond wins the fight 1485-1509 And to make his title right Elizabeth of York espouses, Thus uniting the two Houses. This Henry Seven of Tudor line To misers' habits did incline; Twelve millions stated to possess, A tidy little fortune! Yes! Star Chamber Much he managed to extort By means of a Star Chamber Court From the rich nobles; A new wile For adding to the kingly pile. With cash in hand he could attain His wish as Autocrat to reign; As sole possessor of the guns The King no risk from rebels runs.

Columbus Columbus, full of travellers' lore, 1498 By going West sought India's shore; But found America's wondrous land; His 'exes' paid by Ferdinand. Of voyagers we've now a lot Vasco da Gama and Cabot, Who sailed from Bristol, whence it grew Bristolians claim this fine cuckoo.

Henry VIII. Now Henry Eight comes on the screen, 1509-1547 A stalwart youth, aetat. eighteen; With youthful hope the nation's buoyed; Only, alas! to be destroyed.

Henry VIII. This King Henry number Eight 1509-1547 Six times tried the married state; (continued) And certainly of all the Kings Spent the most on wedding rings. But to search through old Archives For tales of Henry and his wives And all their little tiffs to trace We cannot spare the time or space. Yet there are some who fain would sing The praises of this rotund King; But as a husband we're afraid His category's lowest grade. He wielded harsh the despot's power, And packed his wives off to the Tower; Consigned them to a fate most dreaded; Two, alas! he had beheaded.

Henry VIII. (continued)

Reformation Martin Luther, fifteen-one-seven, 1517 Sows his Reformation leaven; It finds a culture medium here In the 'New Learning's' atmosphere. Of this New Learning More's the chief, Utopia's Author, He's 'mid grief Beheaded, saying cool and calm, 'Cut not my beard, that's done no harm.' His friend Erasmus, Logic's Master, Trimmed his sails and 'scaped disaster. A third, Dean Colet who St. Paul's School London into being calls. Wolsey In fifteen-thirty Wolsey great, 1530 A Cardinal and Man of State, From Butcher's son had risen high. Reader! consult your Shakespeare nigh. Blamed by some; by others praised; He fell; but still the pile he raised Most nobly graces Hampton Court. Give Wolsey then a tender thought. His main ambition that the King Should be supreme in everything; Thomas And Thomas Cromwell followed suit Cromwell To make his master absolute Head of the Church within his realm. These two most able at the helm; But not with skill enough endued To 'scape their King's ingratitude. Despotical the King's power grew. He's England's Pope by Act of Su- Premacy; as, to gain divorce, The foreign Pope is banned perforce. 1537 Now Bluff King Harry gives the Monks A series of most awful funks; Three thousand odd of their domains He 'collars' for his Courtiers' gains.

Edward VI. Edward Six to the throne succeeds 1547-1553 A pious youth of goodly deeds; One, well known in the Capital, The Blue Coat School (Christ's Hospital).

Mary Queen Mary One, in Smithfield Square, 1553-1558 At Oxford, Gloucester and elsewhere, Burned poor Martyrs by the score; The Romish faith she would restore.

Elizabeth Hail now to thee our good Queen Bess, 1558-1603 Garbed in the puffed and padded dress, Farthingale and starched up frills, Meaning heavy laundry bills. Od's Bodikins; what monstrous ruffs, What gowns of rich embroidered stuffs Piped and scolloped, trimmed with furs, And shaped like huge gasometers. Now we've warfare of the Creeds, For their thoughts all Europe bleeds; Each party seeks by force to make The other side its faith forsake. Spain the Great Power of those days In these contentions first part plays.

Drake Drake at bowls on Plymouth Hoe Left his game to meet this foe And came home laden we are told With seachests full of Spanish gold. Armada In fifteen-eight-eight Armada strong 1588 From Spain to squash us comes along; Which Howard, Frobisher and Drake And stormy weather overtake.

Shakespeare And in these epoch making days 1564-1616 Shakespeare wrote and staged his plays; Weaving a thread whose magic strands Entwine all English-speaking lands. Fifteen-eight-seven Scots' Queen Mary Lost her head through fate contrary. When Henry Eight had robbed the Church 'Twas found the poor were in the lurch; Poor Law A law was passed about this date To place the poor upon the rate.

Sir Walter Sir Walter Raleigh, best of Knights, Raleigh The first to taste the keen delights 1552-1618 Of the enchantress so serene, The Ryghte Goode Ladye Nicotine. No information's yet to hand Concerning Raleigh's favourite brand; Tobacco Was it coarse-cut shag which burns The tongue, or birdseye or returns?

Queen Good Queen Bess we understand Elizabeth Had crowds of suitors for her hand; And here we beg to give a view Of suitors waiting in a queue.

Queen As time rolled on this Good Queen Bess Elizabeth Lost somewhat of her sprightliness; (continued) She got into a nervous state Was mopish and disconsolate. Now, as everyone will own, Had 'Iron Jelloids' been but known In Bess's time; why, it's conceded 'Twas just the Tonic that she needed. East India The great 'John Comp'ny' now began Company Its fine career without a plan. 1600 Great! The Elizabethan Age. In History's book a glorious page.

Somewhere or other we've heard snuff Came in the days of frill and ruff; And here's a noble ill at ease Giving the first recorded sneeze.

James I. James Six of Scotland, miscalled a 'fule' 1603-1625 As James One of England comes to rule. Gramercy! 'tis a canny thing To be a 'double-barrelled' King. The son of Mary Queen of Scots Of learning he had lots and lots, Writing sundry ponderous books 'Gainst 'bacca, witches and their spooks. James thought his kingly power divine And, loathing Puritanic 'whine,' He vowed to make them all comply Or else he'd 'know the reason why.' Pilgrim Fathers His persecution to escape 1620 Some Zealots in the 'Mayflower' shape Their course for an uncharted world Where Freedom's Flag could be unfurled. These 'Pilgrim Fathers' found a state 'New England,' blessed with happy fate. Folks have called the first King James Most uncomplimentary names; To wit 'a sloven' and 'a glutton'; Perhaps his weakness was Scotch Mutton. And as to gluttony, 'Gadzooks'! If what we read in History books Is true, they all were trenchermen; There were no diet faddists then. It startles us, one must declare, To read their breakfast bill of fare; All 'Kynes' of ale, some highly spiced And divers meats, roast, boiled and sliced. In James' reign a man could get For money down a coronet And titles with the greatest ease Like folks to-day buy soap and cheese. Harvey Yet a learned time; for Harvey shows That blood's not stagnant, but it flows; Lord Bacon 'Experiment!' Lord Bacon cries 'There is no progress otherwise.'

5th November Of troubles James had quite a lot, 1605 For instance the Gunpowder Plot. It fizzled out but left to-day A liking for Firework display.

So rockets with their sweeping curves, Crackers which upset the nerves And squibs with their infernal din To this date owe their origin.

Charles I. His son Charles One we understand 1625-1649 Ruled England with a grasping hand; For he was never loth to levy Taxes burdensome and heavy. He moved in an expensive set, Was always heavily in debt; In fact this monarch with his frills Was snowed up to the neck with bills. He was courtly, graceful, distingue, And when the scaffold came his way 'He nothing common did or mean Upon that memorable scene.' He had a very taking way And made his taxed up subjects pay; And over taxing it is said This Monarch fairly lost his head. Petition of The 'Petition of Right' a famous Act, Right--1628 The Commons from the King exact; Giving the subject on his own A remedy against the throne. First In sixteen-hundred-twenty-one Newspaper Our first news-sheet began its run; 1621 For twenty years 'twas going strong Then the first Censor came along. This journal cribbing from the Dutch Lacked the smart journalistic touch; And also photographic views, 'Sporting pars' and 'Stop-press News.'

Cotton Cotton first came from India's shore 1630 In sixteen-thirty, less or more; Where for three thousand years it grew, Also in Egypt and Peru. Grim reading is the note confessing Gangs went out for Navy pressing, Forcing many a timid knave To spend his life on ocean wave. Ship Money Charles raises the ship money tax; 1636 He thought he only had to 'ax'; When Hampden strenuously objected, The King was very much affected. Strafford Earl Strafford ('Thorough') in his pride 1641 'The King shall rule the Commons' cried; The Commons would not brook such stuff And cut his head off. 'Quantum Suff.' The 'Grand Remonstrance' is put forth By the Commons who are wrath With the King's despotic ways Quite unsuited to these days. The King tries hard to put in jail Five Members but without avail; Hollis, Strode, Haslerig and Pym And Hampden (we must mention him); They're guarded from the Royal hands By Watermen and City Bands. The 'die is cast' and Civil War For seven long years the Nation tore.

Civil Wars Cromwell greatest of the foemen 1642-1648 With his faithful English Yeomen; These 'Roundheads' sober, grim, religious To 'Cavaliers' gave blows prodigious. Their character's seen in the cry 'Trust God and keep your powder dry.' Naseby The Cavaliers and Roundheads fought 1645 In many a field, 'till Naseby brought To Generals Cromwell and Fairfax A crowning victory, though not 'pax.' The King's beheaded, but the State Experiences no headless fate; A commonwealth's forthwith proclaimed And Cromwell's soon Protector named. Dunbar In sixteen-fifty Dunbar sees 1650 The Royal Scots brought to their knees; Worcester And in the second Worcester fight 1651 Cromwell for good asserts his might. And there are those who love to tell About that day at Boscobel When Charles the Second's Majestye Found itself doubly 'up a tree.' And now we meet that quiet man Known as the early Puritan; Mild and placid in his talk, Calm and measured in his walk.

Commonwealth Oliver Cromwell bluff and bold, 1649-1660 Was cast in Nature's sternest mould, Lacking maybe the courtly grace And proud of warts upon his face. He fought the Irish and the Scotch And with his navy beat the Dutch Let all his faults condoned be, He kept us up on land and sea.

Commonwealth He seemed to like bold argument (continued) And wordy wars with Parliament; He made things lively we infer Frequently at Westminster.

With M.P.s he had many a bout And one day cleared the whole lot out; Locked the door and took the key; Those not the days of 'Wait and See.'

Charles II. Cromwell's death brings Restoration 1660-1685 And Charles Two lands 'mid acclamation. After his leaps from twig to twig He now has 'Otium cum Dig.' In merry Charles the Second's age Woman first acted on the stage; The King encouraged much this vogue He was a pleasure seeking rogue. 'He never said a foolish thing, Nor did a wise one'; this the King Countered with 'My words my own My acts my ministers' alone'; 1662 In sixteen-six-two year of grace, Charles taxed every fire-place; And citizens who couldn't pay Shivered and grumbled as to-day. These were the times of Musketeers And proud and dashing Cavaliers; When words were few and tempers hot And duels fought out on the spot.