ACT II
(_Half an hour has elapsed._)
ENTER _Amphitryon_ FOLLOWED BY _Sosia_. SLAVES WITH BAGGAGE IN REAR.
_Amph._
Age i tu secundum.
(_to lagging Sosia_) Here you! After me, come!
_Sos._
Sequor, subsequor te.
Coming, sir! Right at your heels.
_Amph._
Scelestissimum te arbitror.
It’s my opinion you are a damned rascal.
_Sos._
Nam quam ob rem?
(_hurt_) Oh sir, why?
_Amph._
Quia id quod neque est neque fuit neque futurum est mihi praedicas.
(_angrily_) Because what you tell me is not so, never was so, never will be.
_Sos._
Eccere, iam tuatim facis tu, ut tuis nulla apud te fides sit.
See there now! Just like you--you can never trust your servants.
_Amph._
Quid est? quo modo? iam quidem hercle ego tibi istam scelestam, scelus, linguam abscidam.
(_misunderstanding_) What? How is that? Well, by heaven now, I’ll cut out that villainous tongue for you, you villain!
_Sos._
Tuos sum, proinde ut commodumst et lubet quidque facias tamen quin loquar haec uti facta sunt hic, numquam ullo modo me potes deterrere. 560
(_stubbornly_) I am yours, sir: so do anything that suits your convenience and taste. However, I shall tell everything just as it happened here, and you shall never frighten me out of that, never.
_Amph._
Scelestissime, audes mihi praedicare id, domi te esse nunc, qui hic ades?
You confounded rascal, do you dare tell me you are at home this very minute, when you are here with me?
_Sos._
Vera dico.
It is a fact, sir.
_Amph._
Malum quod tibi di dabunt, atque ego hodie dabo.
A fact you shall soon suffer for--the gods will see to that, and so will I.
_Sos._
Istuc tibist in manu, nam tuos sum.
That rests with you, sir: I am your man.
_Amph._
Tun me, verbero, audes erum ludificari? tunc id dicere audes, quod nemo umquam homo antehac vidit nec potest fieri, tempore uno homo idem duobus locis ut simul sit?
You dare make fun of me, scoundrel, your master? You dare tell me a thing no one ever saw before, an impossible thing--the same man in two places at one time?
_Sos._
Profecto, ut loquor res ita est.
Really, sir, it is just as I say.
_Amph._
Iuppiter te perdat.
Jove’s curse on you!
_Sos._
Quid mali sum, ere, tua ex re promeritus? 570
What harm have I done you to be punished, sir?
_Amph._
Rogasne, improbe, etiam qui ludos facis me?
Harm? You reprobate! Still making a joke of me, are you?
_Sos._
Merito maledicas mihi, si id ita factum est.[16] verum haud mentior, resque uti facta dico.
You would have a right to call me names, if that was so. But I am not lying, sir: it happened just as I say.
_Amph._
Homo hic ebrius est, ut opinor.
The man is drunk, I do believe.
_Sos._
Utinam ita essem.
(_heartily_) Wish I was!
_Amph._
Optas quae facta. 575
(_dryly_) Your wish is already gratified.
_Sos._
Egone?
Is it?
_Amph._
Tu istic. ubi bibisti?
It is. Where did you get drink?
_Sos._
Nusquam equidem bibi.
I did not, not I, nowhere.
_Amph._
Quid hoc sit 576 hominis?
(_despairingly_) What am I to make of the fellow?
_Sos._
Equidem decies dixi: domi ego sum, inquam, ecquid audis? 577 et apud te adsum Sosia idem. satin hoc plane, satin diserte, 578 ere, nunc videor tibi locutus esse?
I have told you how it is ten times over: I am at home, I say. Do you hear that? Yes, and I am here with you, the same Sosia. There sir, do you think that is putting it plainly enough, lucidly enough for you?
_Amph._
Vah, 579 apage te a me.
(_shoving him aside_) Bah! Get away with you.
_Sos._
Quid est negoti? 580
What is the matter?
_Amph._
Pestis te tenet.
You have the plague.
_Sos._
Nam quor istuc dicis? equidem valeo el salvos sum recte, Amphitruo.
Why, what do you say that for? Really, sir, I feel well, I am all right.
_Amph._
At te ego faciam 583 hodie proinde ac meritus es, ut minus valeas et miser sis, 584a salvos domum si rediero: iam 584b sequere sis, erum qui ludificas 585a dictis delirantibus, 585b
But I shall soon see you get your deserts: you will not feel so well, you will be wretched enough, once I get back home all right. Be so good as to follow me, you that make a butt of your master with your idiotic drivel.
qui quoniam erus quod imperavit neglexisti persequi, nunc venis etiam ultro inrisum dominum: quae neque fieri possunt neque fando umquam accepit quisquam profers, carnifex; quoius ego hodie in tergum faxo ista expetant mendacia.
Seeing you neglected to carry out your master’s orders, you now have the effrontery to come and laugh at him, to boot,-- with your tales of what can never happen, what no man ever heard of, you rapscallion. By heaven, those lies of yours shall fall on your own back, I promise you!
_Sos._
Amphitruo, miserrima istaec miseria est servo bono, 590 apud erum qui vera loquitur, si id vi verum vincitur.
(_plaintively_) It is hard, sir, horribly hard, on a good servant that tells his master plain facts to have his facts confuted by a flogging.
_Amph._
Quo id, malum, pacto potest nam--mecum argumentis puta-- fieri, nunc uti tu et hic sis et domi? id dici volo.
Curse it! How in the world is it possible--argue it out with me--for you to be here now, and at home, too? Tell me that, will you?
_Sos._
Sum profecto et hic et illic. hoc cuivis mirari licet, neque tibi istuc mirum[17] magis videtur quam mihi.
I am here and I am there, I positively am. I don’t care who wonders at it: it is no more wonderful to you than it is to me, sir.
_Amph._
Quo modo?
How is that?
_Sos._
Nihilo, inquam, mirum magis tibi istuc quam mihi; neque, ita me di ament, credebam primo mihimet Sosiae, donec Sosia illic egomet fecit sibi uti crederem. ordine omne, uti quicque actum est, dum apud hostis sedimus, edissertavit. tum formam una abstulit cum nomine. 600 neque lac lactis magis est simile quam ille ego similest mei. nam ut dudum ante lucem a portu me praemisisti domum--
I say it is not a bit more wonderful to you than to me. So help me heaven, I didn’t believe my own self, Sosia, at first, not till that other Sosia, myself, made me believe him. He reeled off every thing just as it happened while we were on the field there with the enemy; and besides, he had stolen my looks along with my name. One drop of milk is no more like another than that I is like me. Why, when you sent me ahead home from the harbour before dawn a while ago--
_Amph._
Quid igitur?
What then?
_Sos._
Prius multo ante aedis stabam quam illo adveneram.
I was standing in front of the house long before I got there.
_Amph._
Quas, malum, nugas? satin tu sanus es?
What confounded rubbish! Are you actually in your senses?
_Sos._
Sic sum ut vides.
You can see for yourself I am.
_Amph._
Huic homini nescio quid est mali mala obiectum manu, postquam a me abiit.
The fellow is bewitched somehow: the evil hand has been laid on him since he left me.
_Sos._
Fateor, nam sum obtusus pugnis pessume.
Right you are! Evil? The way I got beaten to jelly was damned evil.
_Amph._
Quis te verberavit?
Who was it beat you?
_Sos._
Egomet memet, qui nunc sum domi.
I beat myself--the I that is at home now.
_Amph._
Cave quicquam, nisi quod rogabo te, mihi responderis. omnium primum iste qui sit Sosia, hoc dici volo.
Mind now, not a word but what I ask you. In the first place, I wish to be informed who that Sosia is.
_Sos._
Tuos est servos.
Your own slave.
_Amph._
Mihi quidem uno te plus etiam est quam volo, 610 neque postquam sum natus habui nisi te servom Sosiam.
As a matter of fact, I have one too many in you already, and never in my life did I own a slave named Sosia except yourself.
_Sos._
At ego nunc, Amphitruo, dico: Sosiam servom tuom praeter me alterum, inquam, adveniens faciam ut offendas domi, Davo prognatum patre eodem quo ego sum, forma, aetate item qua ego sum. quid opust verbis? geminus Sosia hic factust tibi.
Well sir, you mark my words now: I warrant you you will come upon a second servant Sosia of yours besides me when you reach home, yes sir, one whose father was Davus the same as mine, and who is just like me and just my age, too. Enough said, sir. Sosia has twinned here for you.
_Amph._
Nimia memoras mira. sed vidistin uxorem meam?
(_impressed_) Strange, very strange indeed! But did you see my wife?
_Sos._
Quin intro ire in aedis numquam licitum est.
Why, sir, never a foot was I allowed to put in the house.
_Amph._
Quis te prohibuit?
Who hindered you?
_Sos._
Sosia ille, quem iam dudum dico, is qui me contudit.
That Sosia I have been telling of all along, the one that smashed me up.
_Amph._
Quis istic Sosia est?
Who is that Sosia?
_Amph._
Ego, inquam. quotiens dicendum est tibi?
I am, I say. How many times do you need to be told?
_Amph._
Sed quid ais? num obdormivisti dudum?
(_reflecting_) But look here, you were not asleep a while ago, were you?
_Sos._
Nusquam gentium. 620
Not a bit of it, sir.
_Amph._
Ibi forte istum si vidisses quendam in somnis Sosiam--
Then perhaps, if you had seen that, well, that Sosia of yours in your dreams--
_Sos._
Non soleo ego somniculose eri imperia persequi. vigilans vidi, vigilans nunc te video, vigilans fabulor, vigilantem ille me iam dudum vigilans pugnis contudit.
I don’t do my master’s orders drowsily. Wide awake I was, eyes open; I am wide awake with ’em open on you now; I am wide awake telling my story; and I was wide awake when he hammered me a while back, yes, and (_ruefully_) he was wide awake.
_Amph._
Quis homo?
Who?
_Sos._
Sosia, inquam, ego ille. quaeso, nonne intellegis?
Sosia, I tell you, that me. Pray do not you understand?
_Amph._
Qui, malum, intellegere quisquam potis est? ita nugas blatis.
How the devil can any man understand? Such stuff and nonsense!
_Sos._
Verum actutum nosces, quom illum nosces servom Sosiam.
(_significantly_) Well, you will know what I mean very soon, once you know that servant Sosia.
_Amph._
Sequere hac igitur me, nam mi istuc primum exquisito est opus.[18] (628)
(_going toward house_) Come then, this way. This matter needs my investigation first of all. (_stops to examine house from distance and talks with Sosia_)
II. 2.