SCENE IV.--LYDIA'S _Lodging.

_Enter_ LYDIA _and_ Lady FLIPPANT, _attended by_ LEONORE.

_Lyd._ 'Tis as hard for a woman to conceal her indignation from her apostate lover, as to conceal her love from her faithful servant.

_L. Flip._ Or almost as hard as it is for the prating fellows now-a-days to conceal the favours of obliging ladies.

_Lyd._ If Ranger should come up, (I saw him just now in the street,) the discovery of my anger to him now would be as mean as the discovery of my love to him before.

_L. Flip._ Though I did so mean a thing as to love a fellow, I would not do so mean a thing as to confess it, certainly, by my trouble to part with him. If I confessed love, it should be before they left me.

_Lyd._ So you would deserve to be left, before you were. But could you ever do so mean a thing as to confess love to any?

_L. Flip._ Yes; but I never did so mean a thing as really to love any.

_Lyd._ You had once a husband.

_L. Flip._ Fy! madam, do you think me so ill bred as to love a husband?

_Lyd._ You had a widow's heart, before you were a widow, I see.

_L. Flip._ I should rather make an adventure of my honour with a gallant for a gown, a new coach, a necklace, than clap my husband's cheeks for them, or sit in his lap. I should be as ashamed to be caught in such a posture with a husband, as a brisk well-bred spark of the town would be to be caught on his knees at prayers--unless to his mistress.

_Enter_ RANGER _and_ DAPPERWIT.

_Lyd._ Mr. Ranger, 'twas obligingly done of you.

_Ran._ Indeed, cousin, I had kept my promise with you last night, but this gentleman knows--

_Lyd._ You mistake me; but you shall not lessen any favour you do to me. You are going to excuse your not coming to me last night, when I take it as a particular obligation, that though you threatened me with a visit, upon consideration you were so civil as not to trouble me.

_Dap._ This is an unlucky morning with me! here's my eternal persecution, the widow Flippant. [_Aside._

_L. Flip._ What, Mr. Dapperwit! [DAPPERWIT _retires to the back of the stage, followed by_ LADY FLIPPANT.

_Ran._ Indeed, cousin, besides my business, another cause I did not wait on you was, my apprehension you were gone to the Park, notwithstanding your promise to the contrary.

_Lyd._ Therefore, you went to the Park to visit me there, notwithstanding your promise to the contrary?

_Ran._ Who, I at the Park! when I had promised to wait upon you at your lodging! But were you at the Park, madam?

_Lyd._ Who, I at the Park! when I had promised to wait for you at home! I was no more at the Park than you were. Were you at the Park?

_Ran._ The Park had been a dismal desert to me, notwithstanding all the good company in it, if I had wanted yours.

_Lyd._ [_Aside._] Because it has been the constant endeavour of men to keep women ignorant, they think us so; but 'tis that increases our inquisitiveness, and makes us know them ignorant as false. He is as impudent a dissembler as the widow Flippant, who is making her importunate addresses in vain, for aught I see.

[Lady FLIPPANT _comes forward, driving_ DAPPERWIT _from one side of the stage to the other._

_L. Flip._ Dear Mr. Dapperwit! merciful Mr. Dapperwit!

_Dap._ Unmerciful Lady Flippant!

_L. Flip._ Will you be satisfied?

_Dap._ Won't you be satisfied?

_L. Flip._ That a wit should be jealous; that a wit should be jealous! there's never a brisk young fellow in the town, though no wit, Heaven knows, but thinks too well of himself, to think ill of his wife or mistress. Now, that a wit should lessen his opinion of himself;--for shame!

_Dap._ I promised to bring you off, but I find it enough to shift for myself--[_Softly, apart to_ RANGER.

_Lyd._ What! out of breath, madam!

_L. Flip._ I have been defending our cause, madam; I have beat him out of the pit. I do so mumble these prating, censorious fellows they call wits, when I meet with them.

_Dap._ Her ladyship, indeed, is the only thing in petticoats I dread. 'Twas well for me there was company in the room; for I dare no more venture myself with her alone, than a cully that has been bit dares venture himself in a tavern with an old rook.

_L. Flip._ I am the revenger of our sex, certainly.

_Dap._ And the most insatiable one I ever knew, madam; I dare not stand your fury longer.--Mr. Ranger, I will go before and make a new appointment with your friends that expect you at dinner at the French-house; 'tis fit business still wait on love.

_Ran._ Do so--but now I think on't, Sir Thomas goes out of town this afternoon, and I shall not see him here again these three months.

_Lyd._ Nay, pray take him with you, sir.

_L. Flip._ No, sir, you shall not take the gentleman from his mistress.--[_Aside to_ DAPPERWIT.] Do not go yet, sweet Mr. Dapperwit.

_Lyd._ Take him with you, sir; I suppose his business may be there to borrow or win money, and I ought not to be his hindrance: for when he has none, he has his desperate designs upon that little I have;--for want of money makes as devout lovers as Christians.

_Dap._ I hope, madam, he offers you no less security than his liberty.

_Lyd._ His liberty is as poor a pawn to take up money on as honour. He is like the desperate bankrupts of this age, who, if they can get people's fortunes into their hands, care not though they spend them in jail all their lives.

_L. Flip._ And the poor crediting ladies, when they have parted with their money, must be contented with a pitiful composition, or starve, for all them.

_Ran._ But widows are commonly so wise as to be sure their men are solvable before they trust 'em.

_L. Flip._ Can you blame 'em! I declare I will trust no man. Pray, do not take it ill, gentlemen: quacks in their bills, and poets in the titles of their plays, do not more disappoint us, than gallants with their promises; but I trust none.

_Dap._ Nay, she's a very Jew in that particular. To my knowledge, she'll know her man, over and over again, before she trust him.

_Ran._ Well, my dearest cousin, good-morrow. When I stay from you so long again, blame me to purpose, and be extremely angry; for nothing can make me amends for the loss of your company, but your reprehension of my absence. I'll take such a chiding as kindly as Russian wives do beating.

_Lyd._ If you were my husband, I could not take your absence more kindly than I do.

_Ran._ And if you were my wife, I would trust you as much out of my sight as I could, to show my opinion of your virtue.

_L. Flip._ A well-bred gentleman, I warrant.--Will you go then, cruel Mr. Dapperwit? [_Exeunt_ RANGER _and_ DAPPERWIT, _followed by_ Lady FLIPPANT.

_Lyd._ Have I not dissembled well, Leonore?

_Leo._ But, madam, to what purpose? why do you not put him to his trial, and see what he can say for himself?

_Lyd._ I am afraid lest my proofs, and his guilt, should make him desperate, and so contemn that pardon which he could not hope for.

_Leo._ 'Tis unjust to condemn him before you hear him.

_Lyd._ I will reprieve him till I have more evidence.

_Leo._ How will you get it?

_Lyd._ I will write him a letter in Christina's name, desiring to meet him; when I shall soon discover if his love to her be of a longer standing than since last night; and if it be not, I will not longer trust him with the vanity to think she gave him the occasion to follow her home from the Park; so will at once disabuse him and myself.

_Leo._ What care the jealous take in making sure of ills which they, but in imagination, cannot undergo!

_Lyd._

Misfortunes are least dreadful when most near: 'Tis less to undergo the ill, than fear. [_Exeunt._

ACT THE FOURTH.