SCENE II.

_A Street._

_Enter_ GERARDINE, _disguised as a Porter_.[330]

GER. Thou sacred deity, Love! Thou power predominate, more to be admir’d Than able to be exprest, whose orb includes All terrene joys which are! all states which be Pay to thy sacred throne,[331] as tribute-fee, Their thoughts and lives. Like Jove’s, so must thy acts Endure no question: why, thy hidden facts The gods themselves obey: heaven-synod holds No gods but what thy awful power controls; The Delphian archer, proud with Python’s spoil, At Cupid’s hand was forc’d to take the foil; Not Mars his star-like[332] adamantine targe Could free his warlike breast at Cupid’s charge; And Jove, whose frown all mortal lives bereaves, His[333] marble throne and ivory sceptre leaves, And in the likeness of a bull was seen, As forc’d by him to bear the Tyrian queen Through Neptune’s watery kingdom: if these submit, My metamorphose is not held unfit.

And see, in most wished occasion, Dryfat the merchant presents himself.

_Enter_ DRYFAT.

Sir, in the best of hours met: my thoughts had marked you out for a man most apt to do them the fairest of offices. DRY. What! art thou a Welsh carrier or a northern landlord, thou’rt so saucy? GER. Is’t possible, sir, my disguise should so much fool your knowledge? How? a northern landlord? can you think I get my living by a bell and a clack-dish?[334] DRY. By a bell and a clack-dish? how’s that? GER. Why, by begging, sir. Know you me now? DRY. Master Gerardine, disguised and ashore! nay, then I smell a rat. GER. Master Dryfat, shall I repose some trust in you? will you lay by awhile your city’s precise humour? will you not deceive me? DRY. If I deceive your trust, the general plague seize me! that is, may I die a cuckold. GER. And I say thou shalt die a true citizen, if thou conceal it: and thus in brief. It stands with thy knowledge how seriously I have and do still affect Maria: now, sir, I have so wrought it, that if thou couldst procure me a fellow that could serve instead of a crier, I myself would play Placket the paritor,[335] and summon doctor Glister and Maria to appear at thy house: and as I play[336] the paritor, so wouldst thou but assume the shape of a proctor, I should have the wench, thou the credit, and the whole city occasion of discourse this nine days. DRY. How’s this, how’s this? I should procure a fellow to play the crier,[337] and I myself should play the proctor? but upon what occasion should they be summoned? GER. Upon an accusation that doctor Glister should get Maria, his niece, with child, and have bastards in the country, which I have a trick to make probable. DRY. And now I recall it to memory, I heard somewhat to that effect last night in master Beardbush the barber’s shop: but how will this sort? who shall accuse him? GER. Refer that to me, I say, be that my care: all shall end in merriment, and no disgrace touch either of their reputations. DRY. Then take both word and hand, ’tis done: Club, mistress Purge’s ’prentice, shall be the crier.[338] GER. O my most precious Dryfat! may none of thy daughters prove vessels with foul bungholes, or none of thy sons hogsheads, but all true and honourable Dryfats like thyself! DRY. Well, master Gerardine, I hope to see you a Familist before I die. GER. That’s most likely, for I hold most of their principles already: I never rail nor calumniate any man but in love and charity; I never cozen any man for any ill will I bear him, but in love and charity to myself; I never make my neighbour a cuckold for any hate or malice I bear him, but in love and charity to his wife. DRY. And may those principles fructify in your weak members! I’ll be gone, and with most quick dexterity provide you a crier: to-morrow at my house, said you, they should appear? GER. Be that the time, most honoured Dryfat: but be this known to none, most loved sir, save Club, or to some other whom your judgment shall select as a fit person for our project. DRY. Thus enough: time out of sight.[339] [_Exit._ GER. Maria, thou art mine: earth’s perfection[340] and nature’s glory, woman! of what an excellency if her thoughts and acts were squared and levelled with the first celsitude[341] of her creation! T’ enjoy a creature,—whose dishevell’d locks, Like gems against the repercussive sun, Give[342] light and splendour; whose star-like eyes Attract more gazer loves[343] to see them move Than the Titanian[344] god, when Ægeon’s hill ’A mounts in triumph; a skin more pure and soft Than is the silk-worm’s bed; teeth[345] more white Than new-fall’n snow or shining ivory,— Is happiness sought by the gods themselves. Celestial Venus, born without a mother, Be thou propitious! thee and I implore, Not vulgar Venus, heaven’s scorn and Mars his whore. [_Exit._