Chapter 48

Enter _Wellman_, _Downright_, _Boozer_, and Officers.

_Well._ Have you dispatch’d the Scouts, to watch the Motions of the Enemies? I know that _Bacon_ is violent and haughty, and will resent our vain Attempts upon him; therefore we must be speedy in prevention.

_Down._ What Forces have you raised since our last order?

_Booz._ Here’s a List of ‘em, they came but slowly in, till we promised every one a Bottle of Brandy.

Enter _Officer_ and _Dunce_.

_Offi._ We have brought Mr. _Dunce_ here, as your Honour commanded us; after strict search we found him this Morning in bed with Madam _Flirt_.

_Down._ No matter, he’ll exclaim no less against the Vices of the Flesh the next Sunday.

_Dun._ I hope, Sir, you will not credit the Malice of my Enemies.

_Well._ No more, you are free, and what you counsell’d about the Ambush, was both prudent and seasonable, and perhaps I now wish it had taken effect.

Enter _Friendly_ and _Hazard_.

_Friend._ I have brought an _English_ Gentleman to kiss your Hands, Sir, and offer you his Service, he is young and brave, and Kinsman to Colonel _Surelove_.

_Well._ Sir, you are welcome; and to let you see you are so, we will give you your Kinsman’s Command, Captain of a Troop of Horse-Guards, and which I’m sure will be continued to you when the Governour arrives.

_Haz._ I shall endeavour to deserve the Honour, Sir.

Enter _Dull._ _Tim._ _Whim._ and _Whiff_, all in Buff, Scarf, and Feather.

_Down._ So, Gentlemen, I see you’re in a readiness.

_Tim._ Readiness! What means he, I hope we are not to be drawn out to go against the Enemy, Major.

_Dull._ If we are, they shall look a new Major for me.

_Well._ We were debating, Gentlemen, what course were best to pursue against this powerful Rebel.

_Friend._ Why, Sir, we have Forces enough, let’s charge him instantly, Delays are dangerous.

_Tim._ Why, what a damn’d fiery Fellow is this?

_Down._ But if we drive him to extremities, we fear his siding with the _Indians_.

_Dull._ Colonel _Downright_ has hit it; why should we endanger our Men against a desperate Termagant; If he love Wounds and Scars so well, let him exercise on our Enemies--but if he will needs fall upon us, ‘tis then time enough for us to venture our Lives and Fortunes.

_Tim._ How, we go to _Bacon_! under favour, I think ‘tis his duty to come to us, an you go to that, Gads zoors.

_Friend._ If he do, ‘twill cost you dear, I doubt, Cornet.--I find by our List, Sir, we are four thousand Men.

_Tim._ Gads zoors, not enough for a Breakfast for that insatiate _Bacon_, and his two Lieutenant Generals, _Fearless_ and _Daring_. [_Whiff_ sits on the Ground with a Bottle of Brandy.

_Whim._ A Morsel, a Morsel.

_Well._ I am for an attack, what say you, Gentlemen, to an attack?--What, silent all? What say you, Major?

_Dull._ I say, Sir, I hope my Courage was never in dispute. But, Sir, I am going to marry Colonel _Downright’s_ Daughter here--and should I be slain in this Battle ‘twould break her Heart;--besides, Sir, I should lose her Fortune. [Speaks big.

_Well._ I’m sure here’s a Captain will never flinch. [To _Whim._

_Whim._ Who, I, an’t like your Honour?

_Well._ Ay, you.

_Whim._ Who, I? ha, ha, ha: Why, did your Honour think that I would fight?

_Well._ Fight! yes; why else do you take Commissions?

_Whim._ Commissions! Oh Lord, O Lord, take Commissions to fight! ha, ha, ha; that’s a jest, if all that take Commissions should fight--

_Well._ Why do you bear Arms then?

_Whim._ Why, for the Pay; to be called Captain, noble Captain, to show, to cock and look big, and bluff as I do: to be bow’d to thus as we pass, to domineer and beat our Soldiers: Fight, quoth a, ha, ha, ha.

_Friend._ But what makes you look so simply, Cornet?

_Tim._ Why, a thing that I have quite forgot, all my Accounts for _England_ are to be made up, and I’m undone if they be neglected--else I wou’d not flinch for the stoutest he that wears a Sword-- [Looking big.

_Down._ What say you, Captain _Whiff_? [_Whiff_ almost drunk.

_Whiff._ I am trying, Colonel, what Mettle I’m made on; I think I am valiant, I suppose I have Courage, but I confess ‘tis a little of the D---- breed, but a little inspiration from the Bottle, and the leave of my _Nancy_, may do wonders.

Enter a _Seaman_ in haste.

_Sea._ An’t please your Honours, _Frightall’s_ Officers have seiz’d all the Ships in the River, and rid now round the Shore, and had by this time secur’d the sandy Beach, and landed Men to fire the Town, but that they are high in drink aboard the Ship call’d the Good-Subject; the Master of her sent me to let your Honours know, that a few Men sent to his assistance will surprize them and retake the Ships.

_Well._ Now, Gentlemen, here is a brave occasion for Emulation--why writ not the Master?

_Dull._ Ay, had he writ, I had soon been amongst them, i’faith; but this is some Plot to betray us.

_Sea._ Keep me here, and kill me if it be not true.

_Down._ He says well--there’s a Brigantine and a Shallop ready, I’ll embark immediately.

_Friend._ No, Sir, your Presence is here more necessary, let me have the Honour of this Expedition.

_Haz._ I’ll go your Volunteer, _Charles_.

_Well._ Who else offers to go?

_Whim._ A mere Trick to kidnap us, by _Bacon_,--if the Captain had writ.

_Tim._ Ay, ay, if he had writ--

_Well._ I see you’re all base Cowards, and here cashier ye from all Commands and Offices.

_Whim._ Look ye, Colonel, you may do what you please, but you lose one of the best dress’d Officers in your whole Camp, Sir.

_Tim._ And in me, such a Head-piece.

_Whiff._ I’ll say nothing, but let the State want me.

_Dull._ For my part I am weary of weighty Affairs. [In this while _Well._ _Down._ _Friend._ and _Haz._ talk.

_Well._ Command what Men you please, but Expedition makes you half a Conqueror.

[Ex. _Friend._ and _Haz._

Enter another _Seaman_ with a Letter, gives it to _Downright_, he and _Wellman_ read it.

_Down._ Look ye now, Gentlemen, the Master has writ.

_Dull._ Has he--he might have writ sooner, while I was in Command,--if he had--

_Whim._ Ay, Major--if he had--but let them miss us.

_Well._ Colonel, haste with your Men, and reinforce the Beach, while I follow with the Horse;--Mr. _Dunce_, pray let that Proclamation be read concerning _Bacon_, to the Soldiers.

[Ex. _Down._ and _Well._

_Dun._ It shall be done, Sir. Gentlemen, how simply you look now.

_The Scene opens and discovers a Body of Soldiers._

_Tim._ Why, Mr. Parson, I have a scruple of Conscience upon me, I am considering whether it be lawful to kill, though it be in War; I have a great aversion to’t, and hope it proceeds from Religion.

_Whiff._ I remember the Fit took you just so when the _Dutch_ besieged us, for you cou’d not then be persuaded to strike a stroke.

_Tim._ Ay, that was because they were Protestants as we are; but, Gads zoors, had they been _Dutch_ Papists I had maul’d them: but Conscience--

_Whim._ I have been a Justice of Peace this six Years, and never had a Conscience in my Life.

_Tim._ Nor I neither, but in this damn’d thing of fighting.

_Dun._ Gentlemen, I am commanded to read the Declaration of the honourable Council to you. [To the Soldiers.

_All._ Hum, hum, hum--

_Booz._ Silence--silence-- [_Dunce_ reads.

_Dun._ By an order of Council, dated _May_ the 10th, 1670. To all Gentlemen Soldiers, Merchants, Planters, and whom else it may concern. Whereas _Bacon_, contrary to Law and Equity, has, to satisfy his own Ambition, taken up Arms with a pretence to fight the _Indians_, but indeed to molest and enslave the whole Colony, and to take away their Liberties and Properties; this is to declare, that whoever shall bring this Traitor dead or alive to the Council, shall have three hundred pounds Reward. And so God save the King.

_All._ A Council, a Council! Hah-- [Hollow.

Enter a _Soldier_ hastily.

_Sold._ Stand to your Arms, Gentlemen, stand to your Arms, _Bacon_ is marching this way.

_Dun._ Hah--what Numbers has he?

_Sold._ About a hundred Horse, in his march he has surpriz’d Colonel _Downright_, and taken him Prisoner.

_All._ Let’s fall on _Bacon_--let’s fall on _Bacon_, hay. [Hollow.

_Booz._ We’ll hear him speak first--and see what he can say for himself.

_All._ Ay, ay, we’ll hear _Bacon_ speak. [_Dunce_ pleads with them.

_Tim._ Well, Major, I have found a Stratagem shall make us Four the greatest Men in the Colony, we’ll surrender our selves to _Bacon_, and say we disbanded on purpose.

_Dull._ Good--

_Whiff._ Why, I had no other design in the World in refusing to fight.

_Whim._ Nor I, d’ye think I wou’d have excus’d it with the fear of disordering my Cravat-String else.

_Dun._ Why, Gentlemen, he designs to fire _James_ Town, murder you all, and then lie with your Wives; and will you slip this opportunity of seizing him?

_Booz._ Here’s a termagant Rogue, Neighbours--we’ll hang the Dog.

_All._ Ay, ay, hang _Bacon_, hang _Bacon_.

Enter _Bacon_ and _Fearless_, some Soldiers leading in _Downright_ bound; _Bacon_ stands and stares a while on the Regiments, who are silent all.

_Bac._ Well, Gentlemen, in order to your fine Declaration, you see I come to render my self.

_Dun._ How came he to know of our Declaration?

_Whiff._ Rogues, Rogues among our selves, that inform.

_Bac._ What, are ye silent all,--not a Man to lift his Hand in Obedience to the Council, to murder this Traytor that has exposed his Life so often for you? Hah, what, not for three hundred Pound?--You see I’ve left my Troops behind, and come all wearied with the Toils of War, worn out by Summers heats, and Winters cold, march’d tedious Days and Nights through Bogs and Fens as dangerous as your Clamours, and as faithless,--what though ‘twas to preserve you all in Safety, no matter, you shou’d obey the grateful Council, and kill this honest Man that has defended you.

_All._ Hum, hum, hum.

_Whiff._ The General speaks like a Gorgon.

_Tim._ Like a Cherubin, Man.

_Bac._ All silent yet--where’s that mighty Courage, that cried so loud but now, A Council, a Council? where is your Resolution? cannot three hundred Pound excite your Valour to seize that Traitor _Bacon_ who has bled for you?

_All._ A _Bacon_, a _Bacon_, a _Bacon_. [Hollow.

_Down._ Oh villainous Cowards!--Oh the faithless Multitude!

_Bac._ What say you, Parson?--you have a forward Zeal.

_Dun._ I wish my Coat, Sir, did not hinder me from acting as becomes my Zeal and Duty.

_Whim._ A plaguy rugged Dog,--that Parson--

_Bac._ _Fearless_, seize me that canting Knave from out the Herd, and next those honourable Officers.

[Points to _Dull._ _Whim._ _Whiff_, and _Tim._ _Fearless_ seizes them, and gives them to the Soldiers, and takes the Proclamation from _Dunce_, and shews _Bacon_; they read it.

_Dull._ Seize us, Sir, you shall not need, we laid down our Commissions on purpose to come over to your Honour.

_Whiff._ We ever lov’d and honour’d your Honour.

_Tim._ So intirely, Sir--that I wish I were safe in _James_ Town for your sake, and your Honour were hang’d. [Aside.

_Bac._ This fine Piece is of your penning, Parson,--though it be countenanc’d by the Council’s Names.--Oh Ingratitude! Burn, burn the treacherous Town, fire it immediately.--

_Whim._ We’ll obey you, Sir.

_Whiff._ Ay, ay, we’ll make a Bonfire on’t, and drink your Honour’s health round about it. [They offer to go.

_Bac._ Yet hold, my Revenge shall be more merciful, I ordered that all the Women of Rank shall be seiz’d and brought to my Camp. I’ll make their Husbands pay their Ransoms dearly; they’d rather have their Hearts bleed than their Purses.

_Fear._ Dear General, let me have the seizing of Colonel _Downright’s_ Daughter; I would fain be plundering for a Trifle call’d a Maiden-head.

_Bac._ On pain of Death treat them with all respect; assure them of the safety of their Honour. Now, all that will follow me, shall find a welcome, and those that will not, may depart in Peace.

_All._ Hay, a General, a General, a General. [Some Soldiers go off: Some go to the side of _Bacon_.

Enter _Daring_ and Soldiers, with _Chrisante_, _Surelove_, Mrs. _Whim._ and Mrs. _Whiff_, and several other Women.

_Bac._ Successful _Daring_, welcome, what Prizes have ye?

_Dar._ The fairest in the World, Sir; I’m not for common Plunder.

_Down._ Hah, my Daughter and my Kinswoman!--

_Bac._ ‘Tis not with Women, Sir, nor honest men like you, that I intend to combat; not their own Parents shall be more indulgent, nor better Safe-guard to their Honours, Sir: But ‘tis to save the expence of Blood I seize on their most valued Prizes.

_Down._ But, Sir, I know your wild Lieutenant General has long lov’d my _Chrisante_, and perhaps, will take this time to force her to consent.

_Dar._ I own I have a Passion for _Chrisante_, yet by my General’s Life, or her fair self, what now I act is on the score of War, I scorn to force the Maid I do adore.

_Bac._ Believe me, Ladies, you shall have honourable Treatment here.

_Chris._ We do not doubt it, Sir, either from you or _Daring_; if he love me, that will secure my Honour; or if he do not, he’s too brave to injure me.

_Dar._ I thank you for your just opinion of me, Madam.

_Chris._ But, Sir, ‘tis for my Father I must plead; to see his reverend Hands in servile Chains; and then perhaps, if stubborn to your Will, his Head must fall a Victim to your Anger.

_Down._ No, my good pious Girl, I cannot fear ignoble usage from the General; and if thy Beauty can preserve thy Fame, I shall not mourn in my Captivity.

_Bac._ I’ll ne’er deceive your kind opinion of me--Ladies, I hope you’re all of that Opinion too.

_Sure._ If seizing us, Sir, can advance your Honour, or be of any use considerable to you, I shall be proud of such a Slavery.

Mrs. _Whim._ I hope, Sir, we shan’t be ravish’d in your Camp.

_Dar._ Fie, Mrs. _Whimsey_, do Soldiers use to ravish?

Mrs. _Whiff._ Ravish! marry, I fear ‘em not, I’d have ‘em know, I scorn to be ravish’d by any Man.

_Fear._ Ay, o’ my Conscience, Mrs. _Whiff_, you are too good-natur’d.

_Dar._ Madam, I hope you’ll give me leave to name Love to you, and try by all submissive ways to win your Heart.

_Chris._ Do your worst, Sir: I give you leave, if you assail me only with your Tongue.

_Dar._ That’s generous and brave, and I’ll requite it.

Enter _Soldier_ in haste.

_Sold._ The Truce being ended, Sir, the _Indians_ grow so insolent as to attack us even in our Camp, and have killed several of our Men.

_Bac._ ‘Tis time to check their Boldness; _Daring_, haste, draw up our Men in order to give ‘em Battel, I rather had expected their submission.

_The Country now may see what they’re to fear, Since we that are in Arms are not secure._

[Exeunt, leading the Ladies.