The Rivals: A Comedy

FAG Excuse my glove, Thomas:--I'm devilish glad to see you, my lad. Why, my prince of charioteers, you look as hearty!--but who the deuce thought of seeing you in Bath?

LUCY Or, _The Memoirs of Lady Woodford_? Yes, indeed, ma'am. I asked every where for it; and I might have brought it from Mr. Frederick's, but Lady Slattern Lounger, who had jus...

FAG Sir, while I was there Sir Anthony came in: I told him you had sent me to inquire after his health, and to know if he was at leisure to see you.

LUCY So--I shall have another rival to add to my mistress's list--Captain Absolute. However, I shall not enter his name till my purse has received notice in form. Poor Acres is...

ABSOLUTE 'Tis just as Fag told me, indeed. Whimsical enough, faith! My father wants to force me to marry the very girl I am plotting to run away with! He must not know of my con...

FAULKLAND They told me Julia would return directly; I wonder she is not yet come! How mean does this captious, unsatisfied temper of mine appear to my cooler judgment! Yet I kno...

Mrs. MALAPROP Your being Sir Anthony's son, captain, would itself be a sufficient accommodation; but from the ingenuity of your appearance, I am convinced you deserve the charac...

DAVID 'Tis all in all, I think.--Difference! why, an' you were to go now to Clod-Hall, I am certain the old lady wouldn't know you: Master Butler wouldn't believe his own eyes,...

DAVID Then, by the mass, sir! I would do no such thing--ne'er a Sir Lucius O'Trigger in the kingdom should make me fight, when I wasn't so minded. Oons! what will the old lady s...

Mrs. MALAPROP Why, thou perverse one!--tell me what you can object to him? Isn't he a handsome man?--tell me that. A genteel man? a pretty figure of a man?

Sir LUCIUS I wonder where this Captain Absolute hides himself! Upon my conscience! these officers are always in one's way in love affairs:--I remember I might have married Lady...

JULIA How this message has alarmed me! what dreadful accident can he mean? why such charge to be alone?--O Faulkland!--how many unhappy moments--how many tears have you cost me.

ABSOLUTE A sword seen in the streets of Bath would raise as great an alarm as a mad dog.--How provoking this is in Faulkland!--never punctual! I shall be obliged to go without h...

Sir LUCIUS Is it for muskets or small field-pieces? Upon my conscience, Mr. Acres, you must leave those things to me.--Stay now--I'll show you.--[Measures paces along the stage....