Chapter 4

Will yer! An extra thong! That'th all it need be-- an extra thong! Oh, it would be _thuch_ an improvement! [_VON RETTENMAYER enters at the double-door. The waiters now go to the tables and lay a plate with a slice of melon upon it at each cover._] Here'th the Baron. We've been thitting together to-night, I and the Baron. [_Wringing SMYTHE'S hand._] Thankth. [_Joining COOLING and the others on the left as SMYTHE greets VON RETTENMAYER._] Hullo, Morrith! [_Shaking hands with HENEAGE and GRIMWOOD._] Well, boyth!

SMYTHE.

[_Shaking hands with VON RETTENMAYER._] Glad to see yer, Baron.

VON RETTENMAYER.

Zo good of you to haf me.

SMYTHE.

Excuse me; I'm just going to wash my hands.

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_Detaining him._] Bardon me-- one moment----

SMYTHE.

Eh?

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_Dropping his voice._] May I dake the liberdy of indulging in a liddle griticism on your eggcellent blay?

SMYTHE.

Certainly.

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_Drawing SMYTHE away from the tables._] Gome here. [_His mouth close to SMYTHE'S ear._] The zecond aggd!

SMYTHE.

Second act; what's the matter with it?

VON RETTENMAYER.

The pard where the gharming Miss Barradell is ghanging her gostume----

SMYTHE.

Yes?

VON RETTENMAYER.

That is where the biece reguires lifding-- [_with a gesture_] lifding.

SMYTHE.

Lifting?

VON RETTENMAYER.

Mr. Davish-- Mr. Balk-- eggsdremely glever; [_slipping his arm through SMYTHE'S_] but if you could zee your way glear to gif Enid-- Miss Mongreiff-- anoder dance----

SMYTHE.

[_Nodding._] Ah, h'm, h'm.

VON RETTENMAYER.

It would remove the zolitary imberfection.

SMYTHE.

Er-- I'll think it over. [_Releasing himself._] I'm just going to wash my hands. We'll talk about it later.

VON RETTENMAYER.

Schoensten Dank. [_Going to the men on the left._] Aha, Mr. Gooling! My dear Steward-- my dear Jerry----!

[_As SMYTHE is again making for the door on the left, MRS. STIDULPH enters from the landing with COLONEL STIDULPH._

SMYTHE.

[_To MRS. STIDULPH._] Ha, Dolly! [_Kissing her._] How are you, my dear?

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_A mature but still beautiful woman, gorgeously dressed and wearing showy jewels-- with a lofty air._] How are you, Carlton?

SMYTHE.

[_To STIDULPH._] How d'ye do, Arthur? Delighted to see yer.

MRS. STIDULPH.

Lucky I'm able to come to you to-night. It's so difficult to catch me in the season.

SMYTHE.

Been in front?

MRS. STIDULPH.

M'yes; [_in a tone of boredom_] oh, yes.

SMYTHE.

What, don't you like it?

MRS. STIDULPH.

Oh, I don't say I _dis_like it; [_shrugging her shoulders_] but one can't forget what one _used_ to do here in the old days.

STIDULPH.

[_An elderly, distinguished-looking man with a meek voice and a courteous but rather nervous manner._] I've had a most enjoyable evening, Carlton. So bright; so very bright!

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_To STIDULPH, sneeringly._] Oh, anything pleases _you_; _you'd_ laugh at Punch and Judy.

SMYTHE.

I'm just running away to wash my hands. [_Looking towards the men on the left._] You know Von Rettenmayer?

MRS. STIDULPH.

Know him! Why, he was about in my time! [_Crossing to VON RETTENMAYER, followed by STIDULPH._] Karl!

VON RETTENMAYER.

My dear lady! [_Kissing her hand perfunctorily._] What bliss! [_Shaking hands with STIDULPH._] Golonel!

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_Shaking hands with DE CASTRO._] How are you, Sam?

DE CASTRO.

Ah, Dolly! [_To STIDULPH._] Hullo, Arthur!

COOLING.

[_Presenting HENEAGE and GRIMWOOD to the STIDULPHS._] Mr. Stewart Heneage-- Mr. Gerald Grimwood----

[_As the STIDULPHS leave SMYTHE, HERBERT FULKERSON enters from the landing with FARNCOMBE. In dumb-show, SMYTHE and FULKERSON greet each other and then FULKERSON introduces FARNCOMBE._

SMYTHE.

[_Shaking hands with FARNCOMBE._] Glad to make your acquaintance.

FARNCOMBE.

Glad to make _yours_, Mr. Smythe-- and in such circumstances!

FULKERSON.

[_A white-faced young man with red eyes and of dissipated appearance-- espying MRS. STIDULPH._] By Jove, if it isn't Dolly Ensor! [_Hurrying to MRS. STIDULPH._] What cheer, Dolly!

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_Coldly._] How do you do, Mr. Fulkerson?

FULKERSON.

[_Slightly abashed._] Oh, I-- I'm pretty middlin', thanks; hope you're the same. [_Nodding to STIDULPH._] Evenin', Arthur.

[_VINCENT BLAND has sauntered in at the door on the left and now joins the group surrounding the STIDULPHS._

BLAND.

[_Nodding to HENEAGE and GRIMWOOD._] H'lo, Stewart! H'lo, Jerry! [_Coming to the STIDULPHS._] Dolly----Colonel----

SMYTHE.

[_To FARNCOMBE._] I'll be back in a minute or two; I'm just going to wash my hands.

FULKERSON.

[_Calling to FARNCOMBE._] Hi! Eddie!

[_FARNCOMBE crosses to FULKERSON and is presented by him to the STIDULPHS. GABRIELLE KATO enters at the right-hand door at the back, meeting SMYTHE as he is going out. The waiters have finished setting the plates of melon upon the tables and now withdraw, carrying the plated dishes and preceded by LUIGI, at the door on the left._

SMYTHE.

[_To GABRIELLE._] Ha, Gabby, my dear! Quite well, eh?

GABRIELLE.

[_A pretty young woman with a fretful little face expressive of extreme dissatisfaction with the world-- looking at SMYTHE spiritlessly._] This _is_ a treat. Why, you haven't been to see us for ages.

SMYTHE.

[_Cunningly._] I see you all far oftener than you suspect.

GABRIELLE.

Do you? That _is_ sly of you.

SMYTHE.

[_Leaving her._] I'm just going to have a wash and brush up.

GABRIELLE.

Really? Oh, you _are_ full of news.

[_He departs as DE CASTRO approaches GABRIELLE._

DE CASTRO.

[_In a low voice._] Hullo, Gabth! How are you to-night?

GABRIELLE.

Oh, I'm all right, I s'pose. Isn't it hot?

DE CASTRO.

[_Not at his ease with her._] It _ith_ inclined that way.

[_DAPHNE DURE, NITA TREVENNA, DOUGLAS GLYNN, and ALBERT PALK enter at the door on the left. NITA is a tall, handsome girl, DAPHNE a plump, little, fair, baby-faced thing. They are charmingly dressed, as are all the ladies of the Pandora Theatre. GLYNN and PALK-- the latter a short, thick-set man who might reasonably be a low comedian-- are two professional-looking gentlemen of the best class. The arrivals are warmly hailed by FULKERSON, VON RETTENMAYER, HENEAGE, and GRIMWOOD and, with more reserve, by MRS. STIDULPH. STIDULPH has seated himself wearily in the armchair on the nearer side of the fireplace and, beyond listening to BLAND who is talking to him, has withdrawn himself from the proceedings._

FULKERSON.

[_To FARNCOMBE._] Here's Daphne Dure-- and Nita Trevenna. [_Going to the new comers._] Hullo, Daphne! Hullo, Nita! How'r'yer, Douglas! Hullo, Albert!

DAPHNE and NITA.

How d'ye do, Bertie? [_To VON RETTENMAYER._] How d'ye do, Von?

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_Kissing their hands._] Dear ladies! [_To GLYNN and PALK._] Aha, Mr. Glynn-- Mr. Balk--!

DAPHNE and NITA.

[_To HENEAGE and GRIMWOOD._] How d'ye do, Stewie? How d'ye do, Jerry? [_To MRS. STIDULPH._] Oh, Dolly! That you, Dolly?

MRS. STIDULPH.

Well, girls!

FULKERSON.

Here! I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Dure-- Miss Trevenna-- Lord Farncombe. Douglas-- Albert-- Lord Farncombe.

NITA.

[_Pouncing upon Cooling._] I say, Morris!

COOLING.

What is it, my dear?

NITA.

Is it true that little Kennedy's met with an accident?

COOLING.

Yes; can't join us.

FULKERSON.

The Dwarf! What's happened?

COOLING.

Ran his car into a 'bus, just outside the theatre.

NITA.

Oh!

COOLING.

Pitched himself forward on to his head.

NITA.

His head!

DAPHNE.

[_With a simper._] Don't be anxious, Nita; there's nothing to hurt _there_.

VON RETTENMAYER.

Poor Dwarf!

[_GABRIELLE and DE CASTRO now move over to the others._

FULKERSON.

Hullo, Gabs! Hullo, Sam!

GABRIELLE.

Ah, Bertie!

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_Kissing GABRIELLE'S hand._] Gabrielle!

GABRIELLE.

Ah, Von! [_To HENEAGE and GRIMWOOD._] Ah, boys! [_To MRS. STIDULPH._] How'r' _you_?

DE CASTRO.

[_Shaking hands._] Daphne-- Nita-- Douglath-- Albert--!

FULKERSON.

I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Kato-- Lord Farncombe----

[_A band of musicians have mustered upon the landing and there is the sound of the tuning of instruments._

COOLING.

[_Hurrying across to the double-door._] No, no; no music yet. Wait for Miss Parradell! [_As he reaches the double-door, ROPER enters quickly at the right-hand door at the back and seizes his arm._] Eh?

ROPER.

[_To COOLING._] It's all right; she'll be round in a minute.

COOLING.

Amiable?

ROPER.

Angelic. She's wearing a new dress, and that's taken her mind off it.

COOLING.

Her bark's always worse than her bite. I knew it 'ud blow over.

ROPER.

[_Formidably._] Oh, but I have given her such a talking to! [_COOLING passes through the double-door, and instructs the leader of the band, while ROPER bustles over to the throng on the left._] Hul-lo! [_Imitating a street news-vendor._] Speshul edishun, cricket, py-per! [_Shaking hands all round._] Dolly-- Nita-- Gabs-- Daphne! Douglas-- Albert! Ah, here you are, Farncombe! [_Discovering STIDULPH._] Hul-lo, Colonel! Results, py-per, extry speshul!

[_ENID MONCREIFF, WILFRID TAVISH, and SIGISMUND SHIRLEY enter at the right-hand door at the back. ENID is a long, spare-figured girl with the lissom walk of a dancer; TAVISH and SHIRLEY are tall, clean-shaven men of gentlemanlike appearance. VON RETTENMAYER makes for ENID eagerly and is followed, at a more moderate pace, by HENEAGE, GRIMWOOD, and DE CASTRO, and by FULKERSON bringing FARNCOMBE._

VON RETTENMAYER.

Miss Mongreiff! [_Kissing ENID'S hand with fervour._] Your dancing was more zurprizing to-night than ever. [_To TAVISH and SHIRLEY._] Aha, my friends!

ENID.

[_Shaking hands with HENEAGE, GRIMWOOD, and DE CASTRO._] Well, Stew! How are you, Jerry! Sam!

FULKERSON.

I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Moncreiff-- Lord Farncombe.

ROPER.

[_Hurrying across._] Hul-lo, here's Enid!

DE CASTRO.

[_Shaking hands with TAVISH and SHIRLEY._] Piethe went thplendidly thith evenin', didn't it?

FULKERSON.

[_Shaking hands with TAVISH and SHIRLEY._] I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Mr. Tavish-- Mr. Shirley-- Lord Farncombe.

ENID.

[_Coming forward to greet MRS. STIDULPH who advances to her._] Dolly dear!

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_Embracing ENID._] Enid darling! Good gracious, you're becoming an absolute skeleton!

ENID.

Indeed? Well, no one can say that of _you_.

MRS. STIDULPH.

It _is_ a pleasure, meeting all you girls to-night. Of course, one can't help seeing _changes_.

ENID.

[_Icily._] Ah, it must be a pleasure, _that_.

MRS. STIDULPH.

I'm going to scold dear old Carlton by-and-by. He never gave _me_ a birthday-party when I was with him.

ENID.

No; and you had so many birthdays here, hadn't you?

[_COOLING returns, entering from the landing, and, after looking at the assembly, goes out at the right-hand door at the back. At the same moment, FLO CONNIFY, SYBIL DERMOTT, OLGA COOK, and EVANGELINE VENTRIS-- four statuesque beauties with impassive faces-- enter at the door on the left. OLGA is in a dark gown and EVANGELINE is wearing a rather elaborate head-dress. Instantly there is a movement in the direction of the new arrivals on the part of ROPER, HENEAGE, and GRIMWOOD. DE CASTRO and FULKERSON follow, FULKERSON still leading FARNCOMBE about with him. MRS. STIDULPH turns from ENID disdainfully and joins NITA and DAPHNE at the fireplace. TAVISH and SHIRLEY also move to the left, where they come upon STIDULPH and shake hands with him, while VON RETTENMAYER and ENID, the latter flushed with victory, seat themselves upon the settee on the right._

ROPER.

[_Hastening to the beauties._] Hul-lo! Show your tickets, please! Room inside for four! [_Shaking hands._] How are you, Flo! How are you, Sybil! How are you, Olga! I _say_, look at 'Vangy!

THE FOUR BEAUTIES.

[_As the men shake hands with them, mechanically._] How d'ye do? How d'ye do? How d'ye do? How d'ye do?

FULKERSON.

Here! I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Connify-- Lord Farncombe. Miss Dermott-- Miss Cook-- Miss 'Vangy Ventris-- Lord Farncombe.

THE FOUR BEAUTIES.

[_As before._] How d'ye do? How d'ye do? How d'ye do? How d'ye do?

[_COOLING hurries back._

COOLING.

[_To everybody._] Miss Parradell! [_Opening the double-door and signalling to the leader of the band._] Now!

[_The band strikes up the air of "Mind the Paint" as LILY enters at the right-hand door at the back with JIMMIE BIRCH. LILY is dressed in white, and altogether fulfils exteriorly ROPER'S description of "angelic." She carries a large bouquet of lilies and pale roses with a broad ribbon flowing from it. All the men but FARNCOMBE, who holds aloof, press round her, STIDULPH rising and joining them. The ladies follow._

THE MEN.

[_Struggling for her hand._] Many happy returns of day! Many happy returns of the day! Many happy returns of the day!

JIMMIE.

[_Battling with the men._] Keep away from her! Bertie, you're on her frock! Mind her frock!

ROPER.

Mind the paint!

SOME OF THE MEN.

Ha, ha, ha!

LILY.

[_Holding her bouquet above her head._] My roses! Be careful of me, boys! One at a time!

THE MEN.

Many happy returns of the day!

LILY.

I want to kiss the girls. Girls----!

[_The men make way for the ladies who come to LILY._

THE LADIES.

Many happy returns of the day!

LILY.

[_Embracing them._] Sybil-- Nita--! Oh, Mrs. Stidulph!-- Enid-- Daphne-- Gabs-- Flo dear-- Olga-- 'Vangy----!

PALK.

[_Suddenly._] Here's the guv'nor!

[_SMYTHE enters at the door on the left. LUIGI and the waiters are behind him, the waiters carrying trays on which are sugar-casters and dishes of powdered ginger. At once there is a movement towards SMYTHE of everybody except those who have already greeted him, and LILY who is detained by ROPER and others._

TAVISH.

How are you, guv'nor?

SOME OF THE LADIES.

How d'ye do, Mr. Smythe?

OTHER LADIES.

[_Hustling him._] How are you, Carlton?

SMYTHE.

[_In the midst of them all._] Girls, girls! I'll shake hands with you all in turn, girls.

ENID.

Thought you were dead.

DAPHNE.

Yes; look at Olga-- she's in deep mourning.

SOME OF THE LADIES.

Ha, ha, ha!

SMYTHE.

[_Shaking hands._] Don't, girls, don't; you're smothering me.

LILY.

[_During a momentary lull, finding FARNCOMBE standing before her and raising her eyebrows._] You! [_Giving him her hand carelessly._] Oh, it isn't long before we meet again, is it?

SMYTHE.

[_Puffing and blowing._] That's the lot of yer. Phew! Where's Lily? Lily here? [_The crowd divides, to allow him to advance. Seeing LILY, he opens his arms and she goes to him and lays her head upon his breast._] Lil-- [_patting her shoulders_] my dear!

LILY.

[_Half gaily, half tearfully._] Ha, ha, ha! Carlton!

SMYTHE.

Go'blessyer! [_In another tone._] Well, what about something to eat!

LUIGI.

Ready, Mr. Smythe. [_Loudly._] Ladies and gentlemen, supper is ready!

SMYTHE.

Ha!

COOLING.

[_At the principal table._] Here you are, Chief! Miss Parradell!

SMYTHE.

[_To LILY._] Come along!

[_There is a general hunt for places and much hubbub and confusion._

COOLING.

[_Calling to ROPER._] Lal, that's your table.

ROPER.

[_Imitating a shop-walker._] Mr. Roper, forward!

COOLING.

Mrs. Stidulph! Lord Farncombe! [_Pointing to another table._] Glynn, you're there.

BLAND.

Here you are, Daphne!

ROPER.

[_At his table._] Miss Kato, wanted!

DE CASTRO.

[_Calling to GABRIELLE._] Gabth!

NITA.

[_Calling to HENEAGE._] Stewie!

COOLING.

Baron-- Enid----

VON RETTENMAYER.

Aha!

COOLING.

[_To STIDULPH._] Over there, Colonel.

FULKERSON.

[_Wandering about._] Where am _I_? Where am _I_?

NITA.

[_Pushing him aside._] Oh, be off!

LILY.

[_Calling._] Jimmie!

COOLING.

[_At his place at a table._] Olga, you're here. Mr. Grimwood!

FULKERSON.

Where am _I_?

JIMMIE.

[_To FULKERSON._] Next to me, worse luck. [_Screwing up her face at him._] Ugh!

ROPER.

Ladies' mantles on the second-floor!

COOLING.

Where's Sybil?

DAPHNE.

[_Calling._] Syb! Syb!

[_The curtain falls, but the music of "Mind the Paint" continues for a while. Then it ceases and, after a short silence, the curtain rises again. The supper-tables have disappeared and the saloon is empty of people. The musicians and their music-stands and stools have also gone, and faintly from the distance comes the sound of a waltz. Two settees, matching the rest of the furniture, now stand in the centre of the saloon back-to-back, one of them facing the counter, the other facing the spectator. LILY'S bouquet lies on the nearer of the two settees, and upon the floor there is a fan, a red rose that has fallen from a lady's corsage, and a pocket-handkerchief with a powder-puff peeping from it. On the counter there are carafes of lemonade, decanters of spirits and syphons of soda-water, a bowl of strawberries-and-cream, various dishes of cakes, boxes of cigars and cigarettes, a lighted spirit-lamp, and other adjuncts of a buffet. COLONEL STIDULPH wanders in through the double-door as the waltz comes to an end. Feebly and dejectedly he goes to the counter, takes a cigarette, and is lighting it when LUIGI and the waiters enter the door on the left. Two of the waiters are carrying bottles of champagne in wine-coolers, another brings a tray on which are champagne-glasses and tumblers, and the bearded waiter follows with a large dish of sandwiches._

LUIGI.

[_Behind the counter-- to STIDULPH, familiarly._] Ain't you dancing, Colonel?

STIDULPH.

Dancing-- I? [_Shaking his head._] No.

LUIGI.

[_Who speaks Cockney English with a slight foreign ascent-- cutting the wire of a champagne bottle._] Why, you used to be a regular slap-up dancing man when I first knew you.

STIDULPH.

[_Nodding._] Ah, ah; [_moving away_] my dancing days are done.

LUIGI.

Done! Oh, I like that! I bet you ain't sixty, come now, eh?

STIDULPH.

What's the time, Luigi? I haven't a watch on.

LUIGI.

Time, Colonel? [_Looking at his watch._] Twenty to three.

STIDULPH.

No later? [_Sitting on the settee on the right, with a sigh._] Oh, dear!

[_One of the waiters goes out, in obedience to a direction from LUIGI, at the door on the left as HENEAGE enters with ENID, GRIMWOOD with NITA, and VON RETTENMAYER with MRS. STIDULPH at the right-hand door at the back. A wisp of hair has fallen over HENEAGE'S forehead, GRIMWOOD looks somewhat downcast, and VON RETTENMAYER is obviously bored by MRS. STIDULPH._

ENID.

[_To HENEAGE, walking across to the left._] Never been to Ostend! You've never been born, then. I'm counting the hours to my holiday. [_Sitting in the chair on the nearer side of the fireplace._] Hôtel de la Plage. Why don't you run over while I'm there?

NITA.

[_To GRIMWOOD, following ENID._] My dear boy, I give you my solemn word it wasn't you. It was that fool Bertie. Anyhow, it's a rotten old frock. [_Showing a small rent in her skirt to ENID, gaily._] Pom, pa-ra, rom, pom, pom!

[_HENEAGE and GRIMWOOD go to the counter, secure a waiter, and return with him to ENID and NITA. The waiter receives his orders and presently fetches the ladies glasses of lemonade._

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_Whispering to VON RETTENMAYER._] Well! Did you ever! Just fancy!

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_Absently, looking at ENID._] I beg your bardon?

MRS. STIDULPH.

Fancy those two girls walking into a room before _us_! [_Discovering the fan upon the floor._] Oh, I do believe that's my fan!

[_VON RETTENMAYER restores the fan to MRS. STIDULPH as ROPER and GABRIELLE enter at the door on the left._

GABRIELLE.

[_To ROPER, in a low, complaining voice._] It's a shame of you; that's what it is. You went and put Lily Parradell into rubber and enabled _her_ to make a bit. She told us so.

ROPER.

Yes; but how long ago?

GABRIELLE.

That's not the point. The point is, it's always Lily Parradell with you; you never do anything for us other girls.

[_She sits upon the nearer settee in the centre and she and ROPER, he standing by her, continue their conversation._

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_To VON RETTENMAYER._] No, thanks; I'm on a diet. Didn't you notice me at supper? [_Moving to the settee on the right._] Let's sit. [_To STIDULPH._] Oh, get up. [_STIDULPH rises quickly._] Why aren't you dancing? If you don't dance, go home and put yourself to bed. You might, for all the good you're doing here.

STIDULPH.

[_With a forced, painful laugh._] Ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!

VON RETTENMAYER.

[_As MRS. STIDULPH seats herself._] Blenty of room for you too, Golonel.

STIDULPH.

No, no; I won't inconvenience you.

[_He moves away and VON RETTENMAYER sits beside MRS. STIDULPH. The waiter who has previously gone out now returns at the door on the left with a tray of ices in paper cases. He goes to the counter for a supply of ice-spoons as FARNCOMBE enters with LILY at the right-hand door at the back. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes sparkling._

ROPER.

[_All his attention suddenly directed to LILY and FARNCOMBE._] Here's Lil!

LILY.

[_Excitedly, seizing STIDULPH'S hand._] You're not dancing, Colonel Stidulph. [_Showing him her programme._] Dance with me. I'll make one of the others give up a dance for you.

STIDULPH.

[_Going to the counter._] No, no; I'm too old.

LILY.

Too old for dancing! I shall never be too old for dancing. [_Coming to the nearer settee in the centre, picking up her bouquet, and sitting beside GABRIELLE._] Ah-h-h-h!

ROPER.

[_To FARNCOMBE, who follows LILY._] Hul-lo! [_Beaming._] Jolly party, hey, Farncombe?

FARNCOMBE.

[_Boyishly._] Lovely! [_To LILY._] May I bring you some lemonade-- an ice----?

LILY.

[_Looking up at him._] You may keep on bringing me ices till the music starts again. [_FARNCOMBE leaves her._] Gabby, wasn't that waltz delicious!

[_PALK and SYBIL enter at the door on the left. SYBIL seats herself beside NITA on the fender-stool and PALK fetches her some refreshment._

GABRIELLE.

[_To LILY, drearily._] I say, Lil.

LILY.

What?

GABRIELLE.

How much did you make out of rubber last year through Lal?

LILY.

Rubber, rubber, rubber? Br-r-r-rh! I don't know. [_To ROPER._] How much?

ROPER.

Four-fifty.

GABRIELLE.

There!

LILY.

I did my house up with it-- gave the job to young Charlie Ramsden who's gone in for decorating----

ROPER.

Yes, and blued the whole lot at one go!

LILY.

[_Laughing._] Blued it completely. Ha, ha, ha! [_Singing._] "What does the blue sea Whisper to me-ee--!" [_FARNCOMBE appears at her side with the waiter carrying the ices._] Ices!

ROPER.

[_Leaving GABRIELLE and, with his hands in his pockets, walking about exultingly._] Ices, sweets or chocolates, full piano-score! Hul-lo, here! Ha, ha, ha!

[_GLYNN and OLGA and DE CASTRO and EVANGELINE have entered at the right-hand door at the back. OLGA and EVANGELINE seat themselves upon the further settee in the centre and GLYNN and DE CASTRO summon a waiter to attend upon them. SHIRLEY and FLO now enter at the door on the left and go to the counter. At the same moment SMYTHE, COOLING, and TAVISH enter at the right-hand door at the back, SMYTHE smoking a huge cigar. They also stand at the counter and are served with drinks by LUIGI. LILY and GABRIELLE having each taken an ice, the waiter with the ices moves away and offers his ices to the other ladies. Another waiter carries round a tray on which are a box of cigarettes and the spirit-lamp, and the bearded waiter moves about with the dish of sandwiches. Some of the ladies light cigarettes, a few of the men take sandwiches._

COOLING.

[_As he enters with SMYTHE and TAVISH._] Haw, haw, haw! You're wonderful, Chief. [_To TAVISH._] The Chief's in great form, Willy. [_To STIDULPH._] Colonel, listen to the Chief.

MRS. STIDULPH.

[_To VON RETTENMAYER, confidentially._] Of course, this is strictly between ourselves-- though I almost hinted as much to Smythe-- but the fact is the Pandora isn't in the least what it _was_, Karl.

VON RETTENMAYER.

Noding is what it was, my dear Dolly, and nobody.

MRS. STIDULPH.