Chapter 13

That's what you imagine, Amadeus. If that were really the case, then I should feel the same in regard to you. But I can see no difference in you at all. And I can't imagine how you possibly could come to seem different. To other women you may appear a mischiefmaker--or a silly youth--which has probably happened many times: but to me you will always remain the same as ever. And I have a feeling that, in the last instance, nothing can ever happen to the Amadeus I am thinking of.

AMADEUS

If I could only feel the same--in regard to you! But such assurance is not mine. The recklessness and greed with which you make your way into an unknown world are filling me with outright fear on your behalf. The idea that there are people who know as little of you as you of them at this moment, and to whom you are going to belong...

CECILIA

I shall belong to nobody ... now, that I am free ...

AMADEUS

... who are part of your destiny already, as you of theirs ... it seems to me uncanny. And you are no more the Cecilia I used to love--no! You resemble closely one who was very dear to me, and yet you are not at all the same as she. No, you are not the woman that was my wife for years. I could feel it the moment you entered the place.... The connection between the young girl who sank into my arms one evening seven years ago and the woman who has just returned from abroad to dwell for a brief while in this house seems quite mysterious. For seven years I have been living with another woman--with a quiet, kindly woman--with a sort of angel perhaps, who has now disappeared. She who came to-day has a voice that I have never heard, a look that I am foreign to, a beauty that is strange to me--a beauty not surpassing what the other had, except in being more cruel possibly--and yet a beauty that should confer much greater happiness, I think.

CECILIA

Don't look at me like that!... Don't talk to me like that!... That's not the way to talk to a friend! Don't forget I am no more the one I used to be. When you talk to me like that, Amadeus, it is as if here, too, I should be fanned by those cajoling breaths that nowadays so often touch me like caresses--breaths that make life seem incredibly light, and that make you feel ready for so much that formerly would have appeared incomprehensible.

AMADEUS

If you could guess, Cecilia, how your words hurt me and excite me at the same time!

CECILIA (_brusquely_)

You must not talk like that, Amadeus. I don't want it. Be sensible, for my sake as well as your own. Good-night.

AMADEUS

Are you going, Cecilia?

CECILIA

Yes. And bear in mind that we are friends and want to remain such.

AMADEUS

Bear in mind that we have always wanted to be _honest_. And it is not honest--either for you or me--to say that we stand face to face as friends in this moment.... Cecilia--the _one_ thing I can feel at this moment is that you are beautiful ... beautiful as you have never been before!

CECILIA

Amadeus, Amadeus, are you forgetting all that has happened?

AMADEUS

I could forget it--and so could you.

CECILIA

Oh, I remember--I remember! (_She wants to leave_)

AMADEUS

Stay, Cecilia, stay! The day after to-morrow I shall be gone--stay!

CECILIA

Please don't speak to me like that! I am no longer what I used to be--no longer proud, or calm, or good. Who knows how little might be needed to make me the victim of a certain unscrupulous seducer!

AMADEUS

Cecilia!

CECILIA

Have you so many friends to lose? One is all I have.--Good-night. (_She tries to get away_)

AMADEUS (_seizing her by the hand_)

Cecilia, we have long ago bidden each other good-by as man and wife--but we have also made up our minds to take life lightly, to be free, and to lay hold of every happiness that comes within our reach. Should we be mad enough, or cowardly enough, to shrink from the highest happiness ever offered us...?

CECILIA

And what would it lead to ... my friend?

AMADEUS

Don't call me that! I love you and I hate you, but in this moment I am not your friend. What you have been to me--wife, comrade ... what do I care! To-day I want to be--your lover!

CECILIA

You mustn't...! You can't ... no....

AMADEUS

Not your lover then ... but what is both worse and better ... the man who takes you away from another one--the one with whom you are betraying someone else--the one who means to you both bliss and sin at once!

CECILIA

Let me loose, Amadeus.

AMADEUS

No more beautiful adventure will ever blossom by the wayside for either one of us, Cecilia, as long as we may live!

CECILIA

And none more dangerous, Amadeus!

AMADEUS

Wasn't that what you were longing for...?

CECILIA

Good-night, Amadeus.

AMADEUS

Cecilia! (_He holds her fast and draws her closer to himself_)

CURTAIN

THE THIRD ACT

_The same room. It is the morning of the following day. The stage is empty at first. Then Amadeus enters from his room at the left. He wears a dressing-gown, but is otherwise fully dressed. He passes slowly and pensively across the room to the writing desk, from which he picks up the waiting pile of letters. Then he puts the letters down again. He feels chilly, looks around, notices that a window is open, and goes to close it. Then he stands listening for a while at the door to Cecilia's room. Finally he returns to the writing desk and begins to pull out manuscripts from its drawers._

AMADEUS

Let's get things in order.... I wonder how this is going to turn out?--I'll write her from some place along my route. I shall never come back here any more.... I couldn't stand it ... no, I couldn't! (_Holding a manuscript in his hand_) The Solo--her Solo! Well, I shall not be present to hear her sing it.

CHAMBERMAID (_entering_)

The men are here to take away the trunk. Here's the check from the expressman.

AMADEUS

All right. Tell them to use the back stairs in taking out the things.

CHAMBERMAID (_goes out_)

AMADEUS

... When I say good-by to-morrow, she won't guess it is forever.... And the boy ... the boy...? (_He walks back and forth_) ... But it has to be. (_Abruptly_) I'll leave this very evening--not to-morrow. Yes, this very evening. (_He begins to pile up sheet music_) I'll have a talk with the Director. If he says no, I'll simply break away. I won't come back here. (_He goes to Cecilia's door again_) I suppose she's still asleep. (_He comes forward and sits down on the couch, leaning his head in his hands_) We have to take lunch together, and she won't guess that it is for the last time.... She won't guess.... And why not? Let her find out ... right now ... I am going to have it out with her. Yes, indeed. (_Rising_) One can't write a thing of that kind. I'll tell her everything. I'll tell her that I can't bear it--that it drives me crazy to think of the other fellow. And she'll understand. And even if she should plead with me to forgive her ... even if she ... oh! (_He goes to her door_) I must tell her at once.... Oh, I feel like choking her!... Cecilia! (_He knocks at her door, but gets no answer_) What does that mean? (_He goes into her room_) She's gone! (_He stays away for about half a minute and comes back by way of the door leading to the garden; then he rings_) Where can she....

CHAMBERMAID (_enters_)

AMADEUS (_with pretended unconcern_)

Has my wife gone out?

CHAMBERMAID

Yes, sir--quite a while ago.

AMADEUS

Oh...?

CHAMBERMAID

It must be nearly two hours now. She said she would be back about one o'clock.

AMADEUS

All right. Thank you.

CHAMBERMAID

Can I bring in your breakfast now, sir?

AMADEUS

Oh, yes--I had almost forgotten. And a cup of tea, please.

CHAMBERMAID (_goes out_)

AMADEUS (_alone_)

Gone!... Well, there is nothing peculiar in that.... Probably to the opera.... But why didn't she tell me...? (_He cowers suddenly_) To him...? No, that couldn't be possible! Oh, no!... And why not?... A woman like her.... There is nothing to keep her from going to him.... (_With a threatening gesture_) If I only had him here!... (_With sudden inspiration_) But that's what I might ... that would be.... To confront him--that's it! To stand face to face with him!... Thus more than one thing might be straightened out.... No, she is not with him.... Where did I get that idea?... That's all over!... But that's what I'll do!... Either I or he!... Many things might then ... everything might then be set right.... He or I!... But to live on like this, while he ... I'll go to Albert. It must be done this very day! (_He disappears into his own room_)

ALBERT (_enters_)

CHAMBERMAID (_follows him, carrying the breakfast tray_) I'll tell the Master at once, sir. (_She puts the tray on a small table and goes out to the left_)

ALBERT (_picks up a moon-shaped roll from the tray and begins to nibble at one of its tips_)

AMADEUS (_enters, having changed his dressing-gown for a coat_)

CHAMBERMAID (_follows him, passes quickly across the room and goes out_)

AMADEUS

Oh, there you are!

ALBERT

Yes. I'm not too early, I hope? Are you ready? I want to read you the third act. (_He takes some papers from his overcoat pocket_) You know the setting, of course--the park, the villa, the plane tree. But first of all I must tell you something. Do you remember Mr. von Rabagas, with whom my wife fell in love? I have retouched him slightly. He's going to be cross-eyed. And now I am curious to see what Marie's attitude will be toward him.

AMADEUS (_nervously_)

All right--later. For the moment there are more important things.

ALBERT

More important...?

AMADEUS

Yes, I want you to do me a great service ... a service that will brook no delay. You have to act as my second.

ALBERT (_rising_)

Your...? Twaddle! You'll simply refuse the challenge! You're not going to let yourself be killed for the sake of Madame Philine--oh, no!

AMADEUS

It is not a question of Philine. And I have not been challenged. I shall issue the challenge. And for that reason I want you to look up our friend Winter at once, and then I must trouble both of you to call on Prince Sigismund, and tell him....

ALBERT (_interrupting him and breaking into laughter_)

Oh, Prince Sigismund!--Thank you ever so much!

AMADEUS (_surprised_)

What's the matter with you?

ALBERT

How obliging! You mean to present me with an ending for the play we concocted yesterday. Thanks. But it's too banal for me--nobody would take any stock in it. I have thought of something much better. You are to be poisoned--yes, sir. And can you guess by whom?--By a brand-new character--one of the secret lovers of your wife.

AMADEUS (_furiously_)

It doesn't interest me in the least. Stop it, please! I'm not making up endings for your fool comedies! This is real life ... we are right in the midst of it!

ALBERT

You don't mean...?! Well, if I have to stand this unseemly and ridiculous interruption ... what do you want of me anyhow?

AMADEUS

Haven't you understood? The two of you are to challenge Prince Sigismund on my behalf.

ALBERT

Prince Sigismund ... on your behalf.... (_He bursts into laughter_)

AMADEUS

You seem to think it very funny, but I assure you....

ALBERT

The point is not that you seem funny to _me_. It's probably balanced by the fact that a lot of people who have thought you funny until now, will all of a sudden think you very sensible ... though they ought to ask themselves, if they had a little logic: why should Mr. Amadeus Adams become jealous on this particular day?... Up to the twenty-third of October he was not, and all at once, on the twenty-third, he is....

AMADEUS

A lot of things have changed since yesterday.

ALBERT

Have changed...? Since yesterday...? Well, I declare!

AMADEUS (_after a pause_)

So that you didn't believe it either?

ALBERT

To confess the truth--no.

AMADEUS

Which means that I am living among a lot of people who....

ALBERT

Will be in the right ultimately. Why should that arouse your indignation? If we were to live long enough, every lie that's floating about would probably become true. Listen to those who belie you, and you will know the truth about yourself. Gossip knows very rarely what we are doing, but almost always whither we are drifting.

AMADEUS

_We_ didn't know we were drifting this way--that much you will admit, I hope.

ALBERT

And yet it had to come. Friendship between two people of different sexes is always dangerous--even when they are married. If there is too much mutual understanding between our souls, many things are swept along that we would rather keep back; and when our senses are attracted mutually, the suction affects much more of our souls than we would care to have involved. That's a universal law, my dear chap, for which the profound uncertainty of all earthly relations between man and woman must be held responsible. And only he who doesn't know it, will trust himself or anybody else.--If you don't mind? (_He begins to butter one of the rolls_)

AMADEUS

So you think you understand...?

ALBERT

Of course! That's my specialty, don't you know?

AMADEUS

Well, if you understand what has happened, and understand it must have happened--then you will also understand that I must face the logical consequences.

ALBERT

Logical consequences...? Here I am talking wisdom, and you clamor for nonsense. And that's what you call logical consequences?... My opinion is rather, that you are about to behave like a perfect fool. Anybody else might do what you now propose: you are the only one who mustn't. For when you propose such a thing, it becomes illogical, ungenerous, not to say dishonest. You want to call a man to account for something which, as he sees it, has been declared explicitly permissible.... In his place I should laugh in your face. If anybody has the right to be indignant here, and to demand an account, it is the Prince himself, and nobody else--as he has not deceived you, but you him.

AMADEUS

Well, that's all one, as he undoubtedly will demand an account.

ALBERT

To do so, he must know.

AMADEUS

I'll see to that.

ALBERT

You mean to tell him?

AMADEUS

If you hold it the shortest road to what I have in mind...?

ALBERT

There's a man of honor for you! And is that the discretion you owe the woman you love, do you think?

AMADEUS

Call me illogical, ungenerous, indiscreet--anything you please! I can't help myself! I love Cecilia--do you hear? And I want to go on living with her. But I can't do so until some sort of amends have been made for the past--in my own eyes, in hers, and--I confess it--in the eyes of the world. Sigismund and I must meet, man to man--nothing else can end my trouble.

ALBERT

And how can it make the slightest difference that you two shoot off your guns in the air?

AMADEUS

One of us must out of the way, Albert!... Won't you understand at last?

ALBERT

Now, my dear chap, that's carrying it a little too far! All the time I have thought you were talking of a duel--and now I find that you are after his life!

AMADEUS

Later on you may feel sorry that you could not refrain from inept jesting in a moment like this even. The case is urgent, Albert. Please make up your mind.

ALBERT

And suppose he should refuse?

AMADEUS

He is a nobleman.

ALBERT

He is religious. His father is one of the leaders of the Clerical Party in the Upper House and a vice-president of the Society for the Prevention of Dueling.

AMADEUS

Well, such things are not inherited. And if he won't, I shall know how to make him. There's no other way out of it. There can be no other alternative, if I am to go on living--with or without her. That will set everything right, but nothing else will. It's the one thing that can clear the air about us. Until it is over, we dare not belong to each other again or--be happy.

ALBERT

I hope Cecilia won't insist on killing off Philine and a few others. That would be just as sensible, but would complicate the situation a great deal.

AMADEUS

Won't you go, please!

ALBERT

Yes, I am going.... And how about our opera?

AMADEUS

Oh, we'll have plenty of time to talk of that. However, just to reassure you--all that is finished lies here in the second drawer, everything properly arranged.

ALBERT

And who is to compose the third act?

AMADEUS

It can be given as a fragment, with some kind of ballet as a filler.

ALBERT

Right you are! Something like "Harlequin as Electrician," or "Forget-me-not." (_He goes out_)

AMADEUS (_remains alone for a while; at first he seems to ponder on something; then he returns to the writing desk and falls to work on his papers; a knock is heard at the door leading to the garden_) What is it?

PETER (_outside_)

It's me, papa. Can I come in?

AMADEUS

Certainly, Peter. Come on.

GOVERNESS (_entering with Peter_)

Good morning.

AMADEUS

Good morning. (_He kisses Peter_) Is it not a little too cold for him out there?

GOVERNESS

He's very warmly dressed, and besides the sun is shining beautifully.

PETER

Papa, have you seen what mamma brought me?

AMADEUS

What is it?

PETER

A theater--a big theater!

AMADEUS

Is that so? And you have got it already?

PETER

Of course. It's over there in the summer-house. Would you care to look at it?

AMADEUS (_glances inquiringly at the governess_)

GOVERNESS

Madame brought it to our room quite early, while Peter was still asleep.

AMADEUS

I see.

PETER

I can play theater already. There is a king, and a peasant, and a bride, and a devil--one that's all red--almost as red as the king himself. And in the back there is a mill, and a sky, and a forest, and a hunter.... Won't you come and look at it, papa?

AMADEUS (_seated on the couch, with the boy standing between his knees; speaking absentmindedly_) Of course I must come and look at it.

CHAMBERMAID (_entering_)

Sir....

AMADEUS

What is it?

CHAMBERMAID

His Highness asks if you'll see him.

AMADEUS

What highness?

CHAMBERMAID

His Highness, the Prince Lohsenstein.

AMADEUS (_rising_)

What?

GOVERNESS

Come, Peter--we'll go back and play in the summer-house. (_She goes out with Peter_)

AMADEUS (_with dignity_)

Tell the Prince.... (_Turning away from her_) One moment, please. (_To himself_) What can that mean...? (_Abruptly_) Ask him to come in.

CHAMBERMAID (_goes out_)

AMADEUS (_walks quickly to and fro, but stops at some distance from the door when Sigismund enters_)

SIGISMUND (_is slender, blonde, twenty-six, elegantly dressed, but appears in no respect foppish; he bows to Amadeus_) Good-morning.

AMADEUS (_takes a few steps forward to meet him and nods politely_)

SIGISMUND (_looks around a little shyly, but wholly free from any ridiculous embarrassment; his manner is in every respect dignified; there is a slight smile on his face_) We have not seen each other for some time, and you'll probably assume that my visit to-day has a special reason.

AMADEUS

Naturally. (_Pointing to a chair_) Please.

SIGISMUND

Thank you. (_He comes nearer, but remains standing_) I have decided to take this step--which has not come easy to me, I can assure you--because I find the situation in which we ... in which all of us have been placed, untenable and, in a certain sense, ridiculous ... and because I think that, in one way or another, it should be brought to an end. The sole object of my visit is to put before you a proposition.

AMADEUS

I'm listening.

SIGISMUND

I don't want to waste any words. My proposition is that you get a divorce from your wife.

AMADEUS (_shrinks back for a moment, staring at Sigismund; then, after a pause he says calmly_) You wish to marry Cecilia?

SIGISMUND

There is nothing I wish more eagerly.

AMADEUS

And what is the attitude of Cecilia toward your intentions?

SIGISMUND

Not encouraging so far.

AMADEUS (_puzzled_)

Cecilia is absolutely in a position to decide for herself. And of course, she would also have the right to leave me--whenever and howsoever it might please her to do so. For that reason you must pardon me if I find the object of your visit incomprehensible, to say the least.

SIGISMUND

You'll soon find it comprehensible, I think. The discouraging attitude of Mrs. Adams-Ortenburg proves nothing at all in this connection, I must say. As long as Mrs. Adams-Ortenburg has not been set free by you--even if that be done against her own will--she is, in a sense, bound to you. To get this matter fully cleared up, it seems to me necessary that you yourself, my dear Master, insist on a divorce. Mrs. Adams-Ortenburg will not be in a position to choose freely until she has been divorced from you. Until then the struggle between us two will not be on equal terms--as, I trust, you would like to have it.

AMADEUS

There can be no talk of any struggle here. You misunderstand the actual state of affairs in a manner that seems to me incomprehensible. For I have no right to suppose that Cecilia has made any secret of the more deep-lying reasons that have so far prevented us from considering a dissolution of our marriage.

SIGISMUND

Certainly, I am aware of those reasons, but to me they don't by any means seem sufficiently pressing--not even from your own viewpoint--to exclude all thought of a divorce. And I am anxious to assure you that, under all circumstances, I shall feel bound to treat those reasons with the most profound respect.

AMADEUS

What do you mean?

SIGISMUND

You know, my dear Master, that the reverence I have for your art, even if I am not always capable of grasping it, equals the admiration I feel for the singing of Mrs. Adams-Ortenburg. I know how much you two mutually owe to each other, and how you--if I may say so--complement each other musically. And it would never occur to me to put any difficulties whatsoever in the way of your continued artistic relationship. I am equally aware of the tenderness with which you regard your child--for whom, by the way, as you probably know, I have a great deal of devotion--and I can give you my word that the doors leading to the quarters of little Peter will always stand open to you.

AMADEUS

In other words, you would have no objection to seeing the former husband of your--of the wife--of the Princess Lohsenstein, admitted to your house as a friend?

SIGISMUND

Any such objection would be regarded by me as an insult to your--to my--to Mrs. Cecilia Adams-Ortenburg, as well as to you, my dear Master. With those provisions made, the new arrangement, which I am taking the liberty to suggest, would be more sensible and--if you'll allow me a frank expression--more decent than the one to which all of us now have to submit. I am convinced, my dear Master, that, when you have had chance to consider the matter calmly, you will not only agree with me, but you will be surprised that this simple solution of an unbearable situation has not occurred to yourself long ago. As for me, I want to add that, to me personally, this solution seems the only possible one. Yes, I don't hesitate to say that I would leave the city, without hope of ever seeing Mrs. Cecilia again, rather than keep on compromising her in a manner that must be equally painful to all of us.

AMADEUS

Oh, has it come to that all at once? Well, if the matter doesn't trouble Cecilia or me, I think _you_ might well regard it with indifference. I hope you know that we have arranged our life to suit ourselves, without the least regard for popular gossip, and that I don't care at all whether or no Cecilia be compromised--as you call it.

SIGISMUND

I know you don't. But I feel differently. A lady to whom I'm so devoted, and whom I respect so highly that I would lead her to the altar, must appear spotless to God and man alike.

AMADEUS

You might have kept that in mind before. Your previous behavior has given no indication of such a view. You have been waiting for my wife in the immediate vicinity of the opera; you have been walking with her for hours at a time; you have visited her in the country; you have followed her to Berlin and come back here in her company....

SIGISMUND (_surprised_)

But it was in your power to stop all those things, if they didn't suit you....

AMADEUS