Category: Humour
I was born about four o’clock in the morning, on the 23rd day of September, 1810. I am told I was a remarkably fine child, though it is a curious fact that my intellect was some time before it displayed itself. But my dear mamma has since often confessed to me that this rather...
WHICH PRINCIPALLY CONSISTS OF A QUIET HALF HOUR’S TALK ABOUT THE VIRTUES AND AIRS OF THAT GREAT, BIG, FAT, OVERFED, STUCK-UP PIG OF A JOHN DUFFY OF MINE, WHO WAS THE FIRST FOOTM...
11. CHAPTER XI.MORE ABOUT _that_ MR. DICK FARDEN--HOW REALLY AND TRULY THERE WAS NO TRUSTING THE FELLOW TO DO A SINGLE THING, FOR POSITIVELY HE SPOILT EVERYTHING HE PUT HIS HAND TO, (IF, INDEE...
13. CHAPTER XIII.I SHA’N’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT WHAT’S COMING IN THE PRESENT CHAPTER. ALL I KNOW IS, THAT IT NEARLY DROVE ME STARK STARING MAD, AND OFTEN AND OFTEN I HAVE IN MY AGONY OF MIN...
8. CHAPTER VIII.“It was one winter’s day, about six in the morn, When my little innocent creature was born; There were doctor, and nurse, and a great many more, But none of them saw such a baby...
6. CHAPTER VI.“My heart’s with my Norah, for she is my treasure, And, sleeping or waking--in sunshine or shade-- From morning till nightfall--from nightfall till morning-- I think of my Norah...
14. CHAPTER XIV.NOW THANK GOODNESS I’VE COME TO THAT MISCHIEVOUS YOUNG MONKEY Of A PAGE, WHO CERTAINLY WAS MORE THAN ONE POOR WOMAN COULD MANAGE, AND LITERALLY AND TRULY NOTHING LESS THAN A MIL...
12. CHAPTER XII.IN WHICH I JUST LET THE READER KNOW MY OPINION OF THAT HALF-WITTED IDIOT OF AN EMMA OF MINE.--MAIDS OF ALL WORK CERTAINLY ARE NO GREAT GENIUSES AT THE BEST OF TIMES, BUT I DECLA...
5. CHAPTER V.“Oh, Mary, dear Mary, how lonely and drear The scenes now ungrac’d by thy presence appear! Each hall in my dwelling I fondly explore, And list for thy footstep, but hear it no m...
3. CHAPTER III.“In this bosom what anguish, what hope, and what fear I endure for my beautiful maid. In vain I seek pleasure to lighten my grief, Or quit the gay throng for the shade; Nor reti...
9. CHAPTER IX.Positively I was no sooner out of one scrape, than, as sure as the next day came round, I was safe to be in another. The beauty of it was, too, that my unlucky stars (and having...
7. CHAPTER VII.The servant who came in after Norah was a young woman whose godfathers and godmothers (stupid people) had christened Rosetta, as if she had been a Duchess. As of course I wasn’t...
10. CHAPTER X.“Let us speak of a man as we find him, And censure alone what we see; And should any one blame, let’s remind him, That from faults we are none of us free.” “LET US SPEAK OF A MA...
16. CHAPTER XVI.Well, I’ll give you my word, gentle reader--though I dare say you’ll hardly believe it--such was the state of things I got to at last; everything was going crooked in the house-...
4. CHAPTER IV.“Ay, laugh, ye fiends! laugh, laugh, ye fiends! Yes, by Heaven! yes, by Heaven! they’ve driven me mad! I see her dancing in the hall--I see her dancing in the hall-- I see her d...
1. CHAPTER I.I was born about four o’clock in the morning, on the 23rd day of September, 1810. I am told I was a remarkably fine child, though it is a curious fact that my intellect was some...
2. CHAPTER II.The morrow came, and any one who could have beheld my downcast looks, and heard the sighs that came from the very bottom of my heart, would little have fancied that I was so nea...