Part 22

‘Neither the husbands, nor the wives, will, by any means, allow jealousy to be the cause; for they say, ‘Were a woman viciously inclined, even encircled by walls of iron, she would, by some contrivance or other, find means for accomplishing her purpose. It is not,’ say they, ‘against such their precautions are aimed: it is, that the minds of those who are really pure may not be contaminated through the force of bad example; and, that women, being naturally weak, and easily led astray, as may be inferred from the story of poor Eve, it becomes the duty of the husbands to guard them from the flowery paths of temptation.’ Such, indeed, is the force of education, that a lady of Hindostan, of decent parentage, would rather suffer death than exposure to public view. In imprecating the greatest evils on the head of an enemy, a female could not conceive any term so severe as those which conveyed a wish that the veil of concealment might be rent asunder. However, notwithstanding the seclusion of the ladies is so much talked of, and deemed so harsh, it will, probably, on investigation, be found, that the prohibition extends only to such as could have but a slight intercourse with them, even if the full influence of social communication obtained. Their rules respecting _muhrem_ and _na muhrem_, words implying _forbidden_ and _not forbidden_, are, in their principle, simple enough, viz. ‘That a woman may be seen by any man whose relationship to her precludes marriage’; though custom has established many deviations from this rule; all which seem to have arisen, not from jealousy, but from a mistaken sense of modesty.

‘In the upper provinces, all the brothers visit each other’s wives without distinction; but, in Bengal, only those junior to the husband. Indeed, in Bengal, the distinctions of _muhrem_, and _na muhrem_, are so whimsical, and amount to such a mixture of Hindu superstition and Mahomedan prejudice, as would render a detailed account of them disgusting to the reader. I shall therefore comprize what I have to say on the subject in as few words as possible.

‘A wife, even in Bengal, may enjoy the society of all her own male relations. In this light are considered _chellas_, children brought up in the family, and the relations of the nurse; the nurse being considered as standing in the same relationship as the natural parents; and often, among the great in the upper provinces, where two females are solicitous to form an intimate connection, it is accomplished, as completely as marriage could do it, by obtaining a female of one family to suckle a child belonging to the other. Male friends, of the respectable class, though never permitted to see each other’s wives, make enquiries after the ladies’ healths, send and receive compliments, and are sometimes permitted (with the precaution of the curtain) to free and unrestrained conversation. It may be seen from the above, that the circle of a lady’s male acquaintance may be much more extensive than Europeans would in general suppose; for, taking advantage of the spirit of the regulations, and waiving the more preposterous, half a dozen sisters might enjoy the society of a number of men, little less limitted than falls to the lot of most ladies of the middle ranks in colder climates; and it must be remembered, that, what is said here generally applies to the middle ranks, including the lesser _Ameers_.[4]

Footnote 4:

_Ameers_ are persons high in office, or of illustrious families. This title is also bestowed on military commanders.

‘In the upper provinces, the ladies and gentlemen, at least among the _Sheeaus_,[5] generally eat together; but in Bengal this is not the case; there the wife does not even presume to eat in the husband’s presence, and never partakes of any of his amusements. In the upper provinces the social qualities are better understood; for when the company consists of persons admissible into the _zenanah_, they all go in; the men and women dine together, and, in general, sit on opposite sides. The ladies, like ours, indulge in _tiffings_, (slight repasts,) it being delicate to eat but little before company.

Footnote 5:

A particular _cast_, or sect.

‘When there is an assemblage of fair visitors, the husband seldom enters the _zenanah_, that he may not disturb their amusements, which, when unobserved by men, take a free range. The wife never mentions her husband by name. This respect, as it is termed, is reciprocal. Indeed, people in general avoid addressing each other by name, substituting some title; as ‘your ladyship;’ or by the name of a favorite child, as ‘William’s mother;’ or by a periphrasis. It is so strictly observed by some wives, that they would not mention an indifferent matter by the same name as their husband is called by. Should, for instance, the husband’s name be ‘_Year_,’ the wife would say, ‘I am sixteen twelvemonths old,’ rather than sixteen ‘years.’ However, this excessive nicety will only be found among villagers.

‘Some _ladies_ pride themselves much in the arts of needle-work and cookery: excellence in the former being deemed a good criterion to form a judgment of a lady’s education: a wife, therefore, who did not take upon herself the whole internal management of the household, would be held in great disrepute. They are, in general, allowed a certain sum yearly for cloaths, and all expences of the house within doors, from which, by good management, they often save considerable sums of money, and, in times of distress, when the inconsiderate husband thinks his all is gone, often does his wife relieve his distresses from her little treasury.

‘In addition to the established allowance, there are other fixed sums appropriated. In their holidays, which frequently occur, dinner is always dressed within the _zenanah_, except upon occasions of great feasts and entertainments, when, of course, the arrangement must be made by men. When only a few friends are expected, the wife, being informed of their number and rank, issues her orders accordingly, through her female attendants, to the male servants of the house. The education of the daughters, and sons also, whilst young, is entirely entrusted to the mother. Should one of the former forget those lessons of chastity, and of correctness of behaviour, which it is her mother’s constant solicitude to impress on her mind; nay, should her conduct even be such as to create suspicion; immediate death from the hand of the parent would be the consequence. I am speaking here of rather the higher orders; for people in the middle ranks of life are more restrained in their conduct, more within the reach of the law, and, besides, the point of honor which acts with such force in high-minded families, loses its impetus with them.—Such is the influence the women possess in Hindostan, that, whenever _Soonees_ and _Sheeaus_[6] intermarry, (a circumstance not unusual,) the children are always instructed in the tenets of the mother, and often their first prattle consists in a ridicule of their father’s faith.

Footnote 6:

Two different sects of the Mahomedan religion.

‘At all marriages, (the ceremonies of which will be hereafter detailed,) or on the occurrence of much-wished-for events, such as the return of a son safely from the wars, the recovery of a lost child, &c., or when a lady wishes to be enrolled among the _naik zuns_, or _pure matrons_, a feast is given in honor of Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet, which is termed _kundooree_, a word implying _off-falls_.—No woman can partake of this feast, unless she be of the purest morals; and it is generally imagined, that an impure person, even tasting the sacred food prepared on that occasion, would surely die. The lady who gives the feast, performs menial offices to the guests, such as washing their feet, &c. The victuals served up, consists of such articles as Fatima is supposed to have preferred, viz. rice, ghee, sugar, pulse, and vegetables. A share is sent to the men; but not of that set apart for the offering; of which the pure matrons may alone partake. To be considered as such, a woman must have regularly kept all the annual feasts, and be married; or, if a virgin, she must then at least disclaim all intentions of changing her condition. No woman contracted in marriage only for a time, such as the _moota_[7] of the _Sheeaus_, and the _nekaw_[7] of the _Soonees_, can be admitted. The word _nekaw_, among the vulgar, implies, but improperly, the secondary kind of marriage. No woman, who has married a second time, though she may not have conversed with the first husband, can partake of the _kundooree_.

Footnote 7:

A loose state of irregular matrimony, sanctioned by the Mahomedan law.

‘The females are seldom married before the age of fifteen. (I wish it to be understood, when I speak indefinitely of the Mussulmans, that I allude to those of the upper provinces; for the manners of the Bengal Mussulman partake so much of the Hindu, as to leave but few traces of their original character perceptible). An earlier period is frequently fixed on, where purposes of interest and policy may be answered. Old maids, at least among the great, are not at all uncommon; caused by a kind of false pride, or I know not what to term it, of the parents, who cannot bear that their daughters’ nakedness should be known to any one. Nadir Shah, it is said, either from a prejudice of this nature, or more probably from a jealousy of too highly honoring any of his subjects, destroyed all his female children, which were extremely numerous, immediately on their birth, except one; who was concealed from him till she had attained her thirteenth year. It was then contrived that she should be brought into his presence. She is said to have been all that was beautiful in nature! She flew to his embrace, which he fondly returned, ignorant that he clasped his own daughter. But, when this devoted child addressed him as her father, the hardened monster seized the innocent victim by the legs, and kept her head immersed in a fountain till she expired! Such an account, even of the unfeeling Nadir Shah, is scarcely to be credited; but the story may shew the name he has left behind him in Hindostan.

‘The late vizier, Asoph ul Dowlah, left about thirty sisters unmarried; not that I believe _his_ delicacy would have suffered from any such fastidious notions as above alluded to; their celibacy was owing to the difficulty of obtaining suitable matches for women of their rank; which, in the present state of the country, must be almost impracticable.

‘Reading and writing are not usual accomplishments with the ladies of Hindostan. Among the great, there are, however, some who read such books as the Koran, &c. and some few who write; but of all delightful intercourse by letter they are entirely debarred; it being deemed indecent even for a wife directly to address her husband; therefore, whether she employ an amanuensis to pen a letter, or be capable of transcribing it herself, it must be written as from a third person; such as a son, or near relation.

‘Among the better order, about ten in a hundred can read the Koran; but it must not be understood by reading, that they thence comprehend one single word of it; that book being to them, what our Bible, in a Latin version, must formerly have been to our common people. The mode of passing their time, though apparently not affording all that variety which an European lady enjoys, is not devoid of amusement. They generally rise, or should do so, at daybreak; that they may have time to purify themselves before the rising of the sun, at which time the first prayer is repeated.—After prayers, the important business at the toilette commences, in which, as is usual among ladies, two or three hours, at least, are _profitably_ spent. The _missee_ is applied to the feet and sweet-smelling oils, &c. to the body; while their flowing ringlets (those nets which entangle unhappy lovers, and which their poets are so fond of describing) are now nicely adjusted. In short, the toilette is become with them a perfect art, and much of a young lady’s time is engrossed in attending to instructions on this head. After the toilette, comes the breakfast; which does not, like ours, consist of fixed articles, but varies agreeably to the taste of the parties, and to the management of the mistress. It will not appear unnecessary to observe, that they never use knives or spoons; and, indeed, they seem to think that we lose much of the relish of the food by the artificial aids we employ on such occasions.

‘After breakfast, and having issued the necessary orders for dinner, the lady of the house, attended by her daughters and slave-girls, sits down to needle-work; an excellence on which, as well as all kinds of embroidery, they greatly pride themselves. Among the middle ranks, such as can write, often employ themselves in copying the Koran, which, when compleated, is either sold for, or given to, some poor person, to be converted into property more needful to him.

‘The sound of the _cherky_, or spinning wheel, is always considered indicative of poverty, and is therefore seldom heard in the houses of the great; but women of a middling class, often spin large quantities of cotton-wool into fine thread, intended to be wove into mulmuls, &c. for their own apparel. The coarser skeans being allotted to their _baundees_, or female slaves.

‘Between twelve and one they generally dine, every person washing the face and hands before the company sits down at table, or rather table-_cloth_; which is spread on the ground, and around which all the party arrange themselves: except it be among the Bengal Mussulmans, or among such as have adopted the Hindu manners, by whom a wife is not permitted to eat in the presence of her husband. This meal generally consists of boiled rice, or of wheaten cakes, stewed or _curried_ vegetables. Curry is made of fowls, kid, and goats’ flesh. Beef is seldom sought after, except in cities; and mutton is by most considered as an inflating, unwholesome food. The head, heart, lights, feet, &c. of animals, are rejected. The dinner is usually divided into as many shares as the company consists of, and brought in that way from the cook-room; except on great occasions, when the servant serves it out. They have no change of plates until the sweetmeats are brought in. Tooth-picks, and the wash-hand bason, are presented to each, except there should be a large company; in that case, they perform the ablution apart.

‘They have not the custom of any particular person saying _grace_ before or after meals; each repeating in a low voice the _name of God_. After meals, thanks are returned by the male part, but not by the female: a curious distinction! the reason for which, my Mussulman narrator ungallantly alleges to spring from the nature of woman in general. Immediately after dinner, the parties retire to take their afternoon-nap; on arising from which the toilette again engages the ladies’ attention. Disengaged from it, they walk round their gardens (which are enclosed,) to enjoy the evening air. After sun-set, when the evening prayers are over, the relations and friends visit each other; and this is the hour in which the husband withdraws himself from general intrusion, and retires to the _zenanah_. Here, surrounded by his wife and children, he enjoys the pleasing converse of the one, and the innocent diversions of the other. The young folks of both sexes play at _blindman’s buff_, and such-like sports, which are generally succeeded by the proposing of enigmas, the narration of enchanting tales, unpremeditated rhymes, and other various, and not unuseful, exhibitions of wit. In such disports, great part of the night glides away unnoticed, as the female visitors do not return home till the next morning. Games are not much encouraged among them. _Patchees_, a game in high vogue among the ladies, is, I believe, the only one allowed. The word means twenty-five. The game is played with _cowries_, which answer for dice.

‘It is a well-known circumstance, that no Mussulman, or Mussulmanee, ever thinks of dancing for the pleasure of the thing. The _meerassen_, (a set of women whose province it is,) are called in on particular occasions: but, among people of high rank, it is usual to have a number of slave-girls, termed _gaeen_,[8] taught music and dancing, who are always ready to amuse the family.

Footnote 8:

Probably from _gownah_, (_i.e._ to sing).

‘Europeans may, on such a subject, be surprized with the _singular_ sound of ‘_the wife_’ so often repeated, so impressed as they generally are with the idea of a Mussulman and his seraglio of ‘_wives_.’ However, it will be found, by such as will take the trouble of investigation, that those travellers, whose relations have given rise to such erroneous ideas, have deceived themselves, by mistaking individual instances for general traits; thus holding up the picture of one man as the exact portraiture of a nation. We are not to suppose, that it is common for men to avail themselves of the example of their prophet, or the option he has allowed to others of having _four wives_. In fact, not one man in twenty, of the class now under consideration, has more than one wife, nor one in five hundred more than two. Even the permission given by Mahomed is not free from restriction; for his words are, ‘Marry, O ye people, whomsoever pleases you among women, even to two, three, or four: but, if ye apprehend that you cannot do them justice, be content with one.’ This considerate advice of the prophet however would probably carry but small weight, if there did not exist other obstacles, not so easily surmounted; for it frequently forms a clause in the _quballa_,[9] (or _cabooleat_,) in a marriage contract, that the husband shall not take a second wife: besides, no parent, possessed of a proper regard for his child, would willingly place her in that degraded situation a second wife is always considered to be; and subjected, as she is, to the entire control of the first; who, it may be supposed, must, from various motives, in general prove a harsh and unpleasant mistress. Neither ought we to be led away by the idea that any influence of the husband will prevent such consequences; for the wives of Hindostan, however problematical it may sound, will be found to have, in reality, even more power than those of Europe. It is true, a husband is allowed by law the privilege of divorcing his wife whenever displeased with her conduct; and this, on the first glance, appears to leave no alternative but implicit obedience in the woman: but it will be found otherwise, in fact; for the relations of the bride take care, in the marriage-settlement, that the _mahir_, or marriage-portion, payable in case of separation, shall be fixed at an amount far exceeding the circumstances of the husband to pay; which, of course, proves an effectual check to a divorcement. In addition to this, general opinion strongly opposes a separation, though not a second marriage, where there exists no sufficient cause to justify the step; such as barrenness, chronic disease, &c., in the woman.

Footnote 9:

Agreement and settlement.

‘Wherever there are two or more wives, an equal distribution of favors is rigidly insisted on, (unless the secondary one happens to be of inferior rank;) yet, let it not be inferred that any lady could be so lost to delicacy as to urge her claims in direct terms. The sex have always the command of general signs, whereby to intimate their expectations in the most delicate manner. But, though jealous of her rights, a wife of rank and education would, during the whole period of her existence, deem it highly indelicate to neglect, in the most secluded moments, a modest reluctance to comply with the solicitations of her husband.

‘Among the slave-girls, there are always two or three who are considered as the handmaids of the husband, and with whom, even by their religion, an intercourse is permitted: however, this must be conducted in a concealed manner. They, too, aping the manners of their mistresses, are not always at the command of the master; and I have been assured, by men of eminence and affluence among them, that, even in the midst of plenty, they have suffered all the tantalization of want.

‘It is said, that Soojah Dowlah, whenever he paid a visit to any other lady, always imposed on himself a fine of two thousand rupees, which he sent to his wife. The prophet himself had only five wives, one of whom he preferred to all the rest; yet, though much inclined, he durst not visit her oftener than the others; two of whom, however, he ventured to divorce, that the period of his enjoyment might more quickly revolve.

‘A wife may, in certain cases, insist on a divorce, such as inefficacy in the husband, &c. under which circumstances she receives the marriage-portion. It must be remarked, that, although the _mahir_ is always fixed in the marriage articles, yet that there does not exist any method of settling it on the wife independently, as among us; therefore, this settlement consists only of terms, except in cases of divorce. The word _mahir_ means, literally, the price paid for any thing.

‘A wife never brings a dowry to her husband, except her plentiful stock may be so considered, such as cloaths, jewels, &c., which her parents send with her, sometimes to so great an extent, as to preclude for years the necessity of any supply from the husband.

‘When a divorce occurs, even on the demand of the wife, the husband is obliged to support her as long as any possibility remains of her affording nourishment to his offspring; and, should she then be pregnant, the allowance must be continued to her, agreeably to her rank in life, until the period of her delivery, when the child is taken from her; unless she chooses to support it at her own expence, and is allowed to do so by the father.

‘Should a man catch his wife in the act of adultery, and revenge himself by the death of both parties, the Mahomedan law would acquit him of murder; but, should he take the life of only one of the offenders, they would sentence him to death. The laws of the Koran, relative to trials for adultery, one would almost think were framed with the sole view of prohibiting such suits; for, whereas, in common cases, two respectable male witnesses are deemed competent to establish a fact; in cases of adultery, four male witnesses must be produced. The testimony of a thousand women would be of no avail, and that of the men must be clear and circumstantial. The smallest disagreement would invalidate the depositions of the whole. In short, such are the difficulties, or rather impossibilities, the law throws in the way of substantiating the charge, that causes of the score of adultery, or of fornication, are seldom heard of.

‘They seem not to have distinguished these two crimes by different appellations, though the punishment is different. For the first, the criminal is stoned to death; for the second, a hundred lashes are deemed an adequate punishment. So the award to a married man and unmarried woman, convicted of _zinnah,_ (a general term for unlawful co-habitation,) would be death to the man, and flagellation to the woman. Such is the law; but custom has left the injured parties to pursue private measures of revenge, in which the courts never interfere.