Chapter 3
One might even cultivate her sensibilities and increase her knowledge of the beautiful in Nature and Art, to carry young folks upon little Nature and Art expeditions to the country or to museums. Permission might be granted to enter many closed doors. The word children is often an open sesame.
If one is tied down to life work inside her home, she may manufacture smiles and cultivate a beautiful speaking voice. It is a pleasant occupation to bring smiles to the faces of others. It is rather fascinating to try to change the expression of other people's faces by exaggerating the happy timbre in one's voice. Even if one may not do big things she may charge the atmosphere with smiles.
When I was a girl, an old friend used to say to me, "Never let people down you, always come up smiling." One may come up from troubles and bitterness with a forced smile until the smiling muscles act for themselves, automatically.
One may also cultivate good manners until she wins a wide reputation for real ladyship, and thus be an example. Only the uncertain are impolite; fear is their ruler. Those who own strength and power are always those who are gentle because they are sure of their life position. Real politeness is only an outward expression of the generous impulses of the heart; it is inborn. Politeness may be cultivated until it passes for the real thing.
Originality does not include exclusiveness. Exclusiveness is deadly to originality. The exclusive woman is seldom of service to the race, and she is not always a congenial or an agreeable person. She may live so much to herself that she is uninteresting as well as selfish. She touches nothing vital excepting books and has nothing else to talk about.
One should train herself to make a perfect social circle as far as she is able.
The display of wealth is never original--only vulgar--and only an inborn vulgar woman would place her so-called friends at a disadvantage by entertaining them beyond their power of return.
It is pathetic to watch the social efforts--"climbing"--of people with only money "Sans" brains and originality.
Youth and Maturity.
The two attractive periods in a woman's life are girlhood and maturity. If girlhood is not sufficiently attractive a girl may go into beauty training for maturity.
Many women who persevere in right thinking and right actions have three stages of attractiveness, youth, maturity, and old age.
A face that reflects nothing is seldom beautiful.
To be beautiful one must think more, love more, in the right way, and give more in the right way.
A girl should not try to get old and look old, for age comes to her soon enough. Girlhood comes but once in a lifetime. One must keep young by being young and "thinking young." One must never let tiredness leave its mark either in the face or poise. Tiredness has never attracted and when people say that one looks tired, it is time to smile and deny it, for the "Spot" is beginning to take form. The body should never be permitted to settle. In Cuba, the women have enormous hips because they sit so much and are inactive.
Each muscular movement should reflect health and youth until one feels hardy and young. One should breathe all the fresh air that she can consume. Breathing is a vital force which sends blood to fill out wrinkles and eradicate blemishes and spots.
The fair, fat, and forty age is no longer dreaded. Like Lillian Russell, women are learning to keep the face youthful by keeping the illusion of youth and the belief that she is youthful. If we feel young we look young.
Self Control.
"Will Power is the rudder of the ship of life."
A woman's life is about what she makes it. She is her own Fate. The law that governs one, governs all humanity, because the laws of thought are the laws of the universe. The mind and body are co-workers. "As a man thinks, so is he." Great men are those who see to it that the mental force is stronger than the material, and who "Will" that thought shall rule their world.
Every thought stimulates certain brain cells, and exercises some nerve, tissue or muscle. Man's superiority to animal is due to this mental action.
Actions speak louder than words. They are published thoughts. Every movement of every portion of the body has significance. Picking up a glass, a cup, or tools and other habits reflect the mind and its superiority to the physical. There is no surer way to judge people.
Every face tells a tale and we read character from the physical form--the head, the backbone, the eye, the mouth, the chin, or hand. The uplifted eye, the corners of the mouth, the manner in which one eats or stands, in fact every movement has a special meaning, which may be easily read.
The body is like a camera, it tells the truth; it is the outward sign of inward grace, or vice versa.
Some one has said "Women's characters are writ large on their faces and God writes a perfectly plain hand." Because women are more emotional than men and because they often indulge themselves in emotions, the signs are frequently very evident. If we study these signs when we meet others we may "size them up," and almost know what is passing through their minds. Because of sexual magnetism men read women more easily than they read men.
Mental habits soon become reflective or automatic. In order to read others we must study ourselves, discover our habits and tendencies and trace them to their source for correction.
The time has arrived for new thoughts, new studies, and new habits. Colored women must be led along the new lines of thinking. Although many have seemed stupid about some of the abstract studies, they have native powers that have too long lain dormant.
Many are permitting their forces to go to waste instead of controlling them. They must discipline themselves to gain self control over such habits as over-eating, coarseness, inertia, anger, and other beauty destroyers.
Any excessive emotion debilitates the nervous system and thus affects good looks.
Proper poise prolongs life because pressure on certain organs is evenly distributed and no strain is placed on any particular muscles to cause abscesses or tumors, etc. Improved circulation of the blood results, and good circulation spells health. One can think better when poise is correct for the same reason.
The conversation of people gives a pretty correct estimate of character. Complaints from people who are sorry for themselves is one of the tell-tale evidences of a weak character.
There is a present day need of knowledge concerning a certain contagion of emotions. Strong feeling sometimes vibrates that which is hostile and selfish. One fretful, scolding woman can upset a neighborhood, to say nothing of a household.
One's thoughts should be of love and peace, instead of worry and fear, lest she may harm others. A woman should be unafraid to conquer life's problems. She should have faith in herself or she will be a dreamer instead of a doer. She must be positive instead of negative, but be positive in the right way which includes the thought and help for others.
Voices reflect the mind and soul, so the colored woman should control the speaking voice.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox has said,
"Some voices affect us like music, Some voices arouse to action and ambition. Some voices fill you with despondency. Some voices irritate like a buzz-saw. Some voices snap like turtles, and some hiss like serpents."
Control of the speaking voice is one of the most admired evidences of self control.
The power of the mind over the body is said to be greater than any germ. Compelling the mind to perform some one useful disagreeable act each day is a splendid habit trainer. The influences that we exert over others will depend to a great extent upon the control over our own habits as well as the resistance to influence that others might exert over us.
One must conquer habits of laziness, untidiness, extravagance, voice, gestures, clothing, to gain power to concentrate Thought.
Her Relationship With Men.
Many girls think that they understand men, but they flatter themselves. Men do not always understand themselves, and often do things because they have been led to "the doing," by misunderstanding the girl.
A man likes to measure up to the opinion of sympathy, strength, protection, or wickedness, that he imagines a girl has of him. He often says and does things to please the girl more than to please himself.
Girls often throw out allurements and temptations especially in the way of immodest dress and seemingly innocent actions which have been the downfall of men as well as of themselves. While men have known that the temptations were deliberately planned, they have not had sufficient will power to resist. It is an unpardonable crime for a young girl to take such an advantage for frequently she ruins the career of a man. Such a girl has two souls to answer for when her own downfall is a sufficient burden to carry.
Some girls complain of insults from men. There are so many good reasons which could be given for this, but girls would indignantly deny that one reason is that they bring this upon themselves.
They discuss slippery subjects and personal experiences, and "heart longings" which call forth the ever present manly (masculine) sympathy. This often leads to actions afterwards regretted.
Men are good readers of the public bulletin--a girl's face. They see the mark of intoxicants, impure thoughts and other weaknesses as if they were spelled out on the features, and as they are keenly sensitive to projected vibrations, they act accordingly.
Sometimes dusk, or night's darkness is to blame for much mischief. Moral resistance seems to be at low ebb at this time, and an evidence of timidity or other feminine weakness may be misunderstood--read incorrectly as a feminine subterfuge seeking physical contact.
If one will always expect good from men--the men will generally rise to it. Try to believe that every man is chivalrous, but do not put his chivalry to too severe a test.
Curiosity and a too venturesome spirit may lead to mischief and trouble too great to be remedied. One must not think or project impure thoughts, nor must she expect insults and familiarities. Men generally respond to the (influencing) thought. They feel the thoughts and obey them.
Girls must remember that most men talk. Some will tell on girls if it is the last act of their lives, although they may not mean to tell. A newly married man will tell his wife, or another will tell his affinity. Another may drink too much and grow confidential. Some even talk in their sleep. One may not think that she will escape; her indiscretions will follow her to her lifelong regret.
She should not try to be a woman too early in life, and should not marry too early. She should study her physique and her constitution. She should not permit desire and curiosity to control her good sense. Long illness, suffering, operations, and even early death may result from premature responsibility. If necessary, she should consult a physician and look the future squarely in the face.
Girls do not now mature as early as their mothers and grandmothers did, and they have not the same power of endurance and resistance, because times, conditions, and the mode of living have changed.
Long engagements should not be encouraged. If a man wants a girl he will wait patiently without any coddling or coaxing. Long engagements are enervating. Engaged couples feel that they are licensed by public opinion and they tax their powers in a way that married people would not dare to do. Too much liberty in long engagements is so often a serious menace to health and happiness in after marriage relationship. It takes away the charm and bloom of married life because the man learns to know his fiancee too well.
The Religion of the Colored Girl Beautiful.
God is the perfection in all that is good. God is the best in us. God is the perfection of all that is beautiful, orderly and harmonious--the 100 per cent of everything in the world.
The religion of the colored girl beautiful should teach her that everything is spiritual--sacred--because everything comes from God.
It is not sufficient to say, "I am a Christian (I am spiritual--of the Spirit)" unless one expresses this in countless ways each day. Not only in kind, helpful actions and gentle speech, but in the work-a-day life.
The colored girl beautiful expresses her Christianity--her spirituality--the best, or 100 per cent in her, when she puts Christ into every act of her every day life. No act should be too insignificant for this expression.
The parables of Jesus teach us that He put His Spirit into the lowest act, as for instance in the parable of the tent-maker.
If the colored girl beautiful is truly of His Spirit she will spiritualize, light up her every day environment with the "Light" that is in her as a beacon to others as well as to show her appreciation of a priceless possession.
Each day she has innumerable opportunities to express the Christ in her--her spirituality--in the neatness of her apparel, and in the tidiness of her home and yard. She may take her religion--her Christ--into the kitchen and express Him and the 100 per cent spirituality in her cooking, sweeping, and in her dish washing.
Doing things well expresses the proportion of the Christ--the perfection--the 100 per cent in us. The more Christ one claims, the better should one express Christ in his daily labor as every-day evidence.
A low daily percentage is a poor record for one who claims spirituality on Sunday.
No untidy church, home, or school expresses Christ--for Christ represents perfection in cleanliness and order. "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" we are told. Cleanliness shows the spiritual, the God, but dirt in any form is an expression of the opposite. Dirt under a bed and a prayer beside it are not compatible, to say the least, unless the "pray-er" is unable to sweep.
The Christ principles properly interpreted and applied would spiritualize a broom and duster and all the utensils of a home or the tools of a trade.
Order is an expression of the God-part which makes us more orderly in the habits of life if we make pretensions as Christians.
God is not only all that is perfect in cleanliness, order and harmony, but He is also all that is perfect in color and sound. God is in the body and all its parts, the hair, teeth--all.
As harmony and color are expressions of Spirituality so good taste in dressing expresses the God in us. By observing and studying Nature one learns God's taste in color and what is harmonious.
We should dress to suit the color of the face and the physical attributes that have been given to us. God has appropriately garbed each object in Nature. Colored people should study themselves and dress accordingly. The bright, gay colors are not suitable to all. Many violate the laws of harmony of color, and unconsciously expose the ugliest in their appearance by wearing gaudy, unbecoming, inappropriate clothes.
As the harmony of sound comes from God, so an eloquent voice expresses God. Christians should make their voices more elegant and eloquent. A loud, coarse voice expresses the opposite of God. Coarseness in thought and speech is unlike Christ and serves to reveal opposite attributes to those He represents. Grunting is not spiritual. No one could imagine a grunt from Christ.
A graceful motion or gesture also reflects the God in us. One would never imagine any rough, uncouth gesture from Christ, who is the "pattern of patterns." Grimaces are not spiritual besides they leave lines in the face.
A respect for the rights of others expresses the God in us, as do obedience and kindness. We are told in positive language by God to respect our elders and superiors.
Race pride expresses the God in us. The Israelites were the chosen people because of blood ties. They were proud of their blood. Blood is thicker than water. The real Christian should be proud of his people; he should believe in them and uplift them as our Great Example did the lowly.
The reverence which expresses God will cause one to respect His house or any portion of it. A Christian would not handle a Bible carelessly and would dust it as a privilege, because it is the message from God. A Christian would not tear or disfigure any sacred book or selection of music, while to sit upon the sacred rail of the altar or pulpit would be an unpardonable act of sacrilege.
The proper care of any article belonging to the Sacred Service is an expression of Spirituality because it recognizes the article as a medium of spirituality, something which should be reverenced.
The singing of religious songs in any but a spiritual frame of mind would be sacrilege just as the taking of the Lord's name in ordinary conversation or in exclamation is sacrilege.
The same religion or Spirituality which makes one shout, pray and sing should prompt a girl not to wear a pale pink or blue satin dress or other inappropriate fancy decollete dress to worship in God's House. She cannot worship God and mammon at the same time and she should not be the means of distracting anyone from spiritual thoughts through envy or disgust.
The Christ in a person will prevent her from speech and action which would hurt the chances or success of another person. God has warned us that the violation of this rule will surely return evil to the violator. His law has many references to this particular self punishment.
It can not be denied that Divinity has specially endowed the Negro spiritually, but he does not consistently express it in all the forms that he might express it, especially in the great Race cause. He is full of heart, and will give his money, his food, his life, for God--but he does not yet realize that the same love for God that he puts into his gifts should be expressed and applied in his daily walks in life as Christ has expressly commanded.
We are taught that there are four kinds of Emotional Expression: The Egotistic which is self and in the interest of self as in joy, rapture and grief; the Aesthetic which has its expression in Nature and Art; the Ethical which has its expression in the moral law; the Religious which expression is in the faith of the Supreme Being.
As yet the Negro has only fully expressed himself in but two: The Egotistic, or the self interest, and the Religious, or the faith in the Supreme Being.
The Negro undoubtedly brought about his own freedom through his own spirituality, and faith, and the concentrated, united thought of a whole people upon one subject--freedom. His remarkable progress since emancipation has been due to the same faith.
The Negro should be, and could easily be the spiritual teacher--or example--of the world. He must not only prove his spirituality but he must diffuse it, that others may realize its power even if they may not receive its benefit.
Christ, the Supreme Example of spirituality was quiet. Other races hold that ideal, of spirituality. When they see and hear a Negro shout, weep and pray and then find that same person uncouth and dirty, they cannot reconcile the two conditions, and so doubt the spiritual element which they call Emotionalism. (They do not remember that the Spirit may be strong and the flesh weak.)
These critics cannot believe that an untidy, ignorant man with dirty teeth stained with tobacco juice can give spiritual advice, and one must admit that it does look incompatible.
The race needs more quality in Emotion and less quantity.
Once convince the rankest Negro hater that the Negro undoubtedly has spirituality, which is surely advancing him and the race, and a certain respect will follow.
Each Negro must consider himself a spiritual missionary whose appearance, speech, actions and surroundings will reflect the storehouse of the great Light within.
The colored ministers who preach Emotionalism, or what they term the expression of spirituality should see to it that their flocks spiritualize their daily lives causing cleaner churches, schools, homes, yards, wearing apparel and Christian thoroughness in each daily act, thus showing 100 per cent spirituality.
The colored ministers who preach Non-Emotionalism should prove that the power of spiritual expression is being directed along channels which are helping their flocks and the race in each daily act, not only in race progress but in convincing doubting Thomases who are blind to the good traits in the race.
The so-called Spiritual Power which would cause a woman to run down an aisle and mash the hats of others, or to throw hand bags and give similar evidences of strength and emotion could be turned into safer and more helpful channels--as far as her race is concerned. A woman possessed of this power and energy could be a great leader in great deeds if she were taught how to do this. A shouter who can not help the race in the battle against prejudice in her special locality, by expressing her spirituality in each daily word and act as well as apparel, and surroundings, seems a poor example of spiritual expression.
The religion that does not help toward the advancement of this persecuted race, and does not win the admiration and respect of other races, is not the religion for the colored girl beautiful, of today.
As a rule colored people expect entirely too much help from God. We must help ourselves more. Each Negro carries a three-fold burden; first, his own personal burden; second, the burden of his posterity; and third, the burden of the race. These follow each other and are dependent upon each other.
God has given him physical strength, a strong backbone and strong shoulders to carry the heavy yoke of the three-fold burden, as well as a wealth of spirituality to cheer him and keep his heart light, along the way of life.
The religion of the Negro should prompt less study of the desires of the personal Ego, and should teach other nations to respect his race, or, his religion is not spiritualizing as it could and should spiritualize.
The religion of the colored girl must be spiritual in every sense, that it may influence her every thought and act, and make her a true medium for race progress.
The School of the Colored Girl Beautiful.
"Education is the process of developing all man's powers, physical, intellectual, moral, aesthetic and religious for the proper discharge of the duties of citizenship."
The school that the colored girl beautiful should attend will have trees, grass, flowers, shrubs and a garden (even though a small one) that the girl may keep in close touch with the first teacher--Mother Nature.
The care of the school campus as well as the windows, fences, and surroundings, will reflect the careful spirit of the school.
The colored girl beautiful will select the school which fights flies, dirt, filth around back doors; the school which aims for sanitation before putting in electric lights; in fact, a school which has health and sanitation for its hobby.
She will attend a school that buys books and takes care of them and which compels the students to read that they may grow into the reading habit, to pass it along to posterity.
The progress of the race will depend not upon the "book learning" taught in schools, but upon the right habits formed and the amount of self culture that the school inspires.
The colored girl beautiful will be taught to keep her eyes open and her mouth shut that she may never betray how little she has really learned in her preparation for the real school--the school of Life.