SCENE I.[1587

[_Enter_] SIR POLITIC WOULD-BE, _and_ PEREGRINE.

_Sir P._ Sir, to a wise man, all the world’s his soil: It is not Italy, nor France, nor Europe, That must bound me, if my fates call me forth. Yet I protest, it is no salt desire Of seeing countries, shifting a religion, 5 Nor any disaffection to the state Where I was bred, and unto which I owe My dearest plots, hath brought me out, much less That idle, antique, stale, grey-headed project Of knowing men’s minds and manners, with Ulysses! 10 But a peculiar humour of my wife’s Laid for this height of Venice, to observe, To quote,[1588] to learn the language, and so forth—— I hope you travel, sir, with licence?

_Per._ Yes.

_Sir P._ I dare the safelier converse——How long, sir, 15 Since you left England?

_Per._ Seven weeks.

_Sir P._ So lately! You have not been with my lord ambassador?

_Per._ Not yet, sir.

_Sir P._ Pray you, what news, sir, vents our climate? I heard last night a most strange thing reported By some of my lord’s followers, and I long 21 To hear how ’t will be seconded.

_Per._ What was ’t, sir?

_Sir P._ Marry, sir, of a raven that should build In a ship royal of the king’s.

_Per._ [_Aside._] This fellow, Does he gull me, trow? or is gull’d? Your name, sir?

_Sir P._ My name is Politic Would-be.

_Per._ [_Aside._] O, that speaks him. 25 A knight, sir?

_Sir P._ A poor knight, sir.

_Per._ Your lady Lies[1589] here in Venice, for intelligence Of tires and fashions, and behaviour, Among the courtesans? The fine Lady Would-be?

_Sir P._ Yes, sir; the spider and the bee ofttimes 30 Suck from one flower.

_Per._ Good Sir Politic, I cry you mercy; I have heard much of you: ’T is true, sir, of your raven.

_Sir P._ On your knowledge?

_Per._ Yes, and your lion’s whelping in the Tower.

_Sir P._ Another whelp![1590]

_Per._ Another, sir.

_Sir P._ Now heaven! 35 What prodigies be these? The fires at Berwick! And the new star! These things concurring, strange. And full of omen! Saw you those meteors?

_Per._ I did, sir.

_Sir P._ Fearful! Pray you, sir, confirm me, Were there three porpoises seen above the bridge, 40 As they give out?

_Per._ Six, and a sturgeon, sir.

_Sir P._ I am astonish’d.

_Per._ Nay, sir, be not so; I ’ll tell you a greater prodigy than these.

_Sir P._ What should these things portend?

_Per._ The very day (Let me be sure) that I put forth from London, There was a whale discover’d in the river, 46 As high as Woolwich, that had waited there, Few know how many months, for the subversion Of the Stode fleet.

_Sir P._ Is ’t possible? Believe it, ’T was either sent from Spain, or the archduke’s: 50 Spinola’s whale, upon my life, my credit! Will they not leave these projects? Worthy sir, Some other news.

_Per._ Faith, Stone the fool is dead, And they do lack a tavern fool extremely.

_Sir P._ Is Mass Stone dead?

_Per._ He ’s dead, sir; why, I hope 55 You thought him not immortal?—[_Aside._] O, this knight, Were he well known, would be a precious thing To fit our English stage: he that should write But such a fellow, should be thought to feign Extremely, if not maliciously.

_Sir P._ Stone dead! 60

_Per._ Dead.—Lord! how deeply, sir, you apprehend it! He was no kinsman to you?

_Sir P._ That I know of. Well! that same fellow was an unknown fool.

_Per._ And yet you knew him, it seems?

_Sir P._ I did so. Sir, I knew him one of the most dangerous heads 65 Living within the state, and so I held him.

_Per._ Indeed, sir?

_Sir P._ While he liv’d, in action, He has receiv’d weekly intelligence, Upon my knowledge, out of the Low Countries, For all parts of the world, in cabbages; 70 And those dispens’d again to ambassadors, In oranges, musk-melons, apricots, Lemons, pome-citrons, and such-like; sometimes In Colchester oysters, and your Selsey cockles.

_Per._ You make me wonder.

_Sir P._ Sir, upon my knowledge. 75 Nay, I’ve observ’d him, at your public ordinary, Take his advertisement[1591] from a traveller, A conceal’d statesman, in a trencher of meat; And instantly, before the meal was done, Convey an answer in a tooth-pick.

_Per._ Strange! 80 How could this be, sir?

_Sir P._ Why, the meat was cut So like his character, and so laid as he Must easily read the cipher.

_Per._ I have heard, He could not read, sir.

_Sir P._ So ’t was given out, In policy, by those that did employ him: 85 But he could read, and had your languages, And to ’t, as sound a noddle——

_Per._ I have heard, sir, That your baboons were spies, and that they were A kind of subtle nation near to China.

_Sir P._ Ay, ay, your Mamaluchi. Faith, they had 90 Their hand in a French plot or two; but they Were so extremely giv’n to women, as They made discovery of all: yet I Had my advices here, on Wednesday last, From one of their own coat, they were return’d, Made their relations, as the fashion is, 96 And now stand fair for fresh employment.

_Per._ [_Aside._] Heart! This Sir Pol will be ignorant of nothing.—— It seems, sir, you know all.

_Sir P._ Not all, sir; but I have some general notions. I do love 100 To note and to observe: though I live out, Free from the active torrent, yet I ’d mark The currents and the passages of things For mine own private use; and know the ebbs And flows of state.

_Per._ Believe it, sir. I hold 105 Myself in no small tie[1592] unto my fortunes, For casting me thus luckily upon you, Whose knowledge, if your bounty equal it, May do me great assistance, in instruction For my behaviour, and my bearing, which 110 Is yet so rude and raw.

_Sir P._ Why? came you forth Empty of rules for travel?

_Per._ Faith, I had Some common ones, from out that vulgar grammar, Which he that cri’d Italian to me, taught me.

_Sir P._ Why, this it is that spoils all our brave bloods, 115 Trusting our hopeful gentry unto pedants, Fellows of outside, and mere bark. You seem To be a gentleman of ingenuous race:—— I not profess it, but my fate hath been To be, where I have been consulted with, 120 In this high kind, touching some great men’s sons, Persons of blood and honour.——

_Per._ Who be these, sir?