Chapter 5

5. Silas Marner lost many of his habits of solitude, and goes out among his neighbors.

=Mixed Constructions=

=34. Do not make a compromise between two constructions.=

Faulty: I cannot help but go.

Right: I cannot help going. [Or] I cannot but go. [Or] I can but go.

Faulty: They are as following:

Right: They are as follows: [Or] They are the following:

Faulty: He tried, but of no avail.

Right: He tried, but to no avail. [Or] He tried, but his effort was of no avail.

Faulty: There is no honor to be on this committee.

Right: It is no honor to be on this committee. [Or] There is no honor in being on this committee.

Faulty: Sparks from the chimney caught the house on fire.

Right: Sparks from the chimney set the house on fire. [Or] The house caught fire from the sparks from the chimney.

Note.--The double negative and kindred expressions (_not hardly_, _not scarcely_, etc.) are an especially gross form of mixed construction.

Wrong: He isn't no better now than he was then. [Logically, not no better means _better_. The two negatives cancel each other and leave an affirmative.]

Right: He isn't any better now than he was then. [Or] He is no better now than he was then.

Wrong: She couldn't see her friend nowhere.

Right: She couldn't see her friend anywhere. [Or] She could see her friend nowhere.

Wrong: We couldn't hardly see through the mist.

Right: We could hardly see through the mist. [Or] We couldn't see well through the mist.

Exercise:

1. He doesn't come here no more.

2. I cannot help but make this error.

3. I remember scarcely nothing of the occurrence.

4. I would not remain there only a few days.

5. John would not do this under no circumstances.

=Mixed Imagery=

=35. Avoid phrases which may call up conflicting mental images. When using metaphor, simile, etc., carry one figure of speech through, instead of shifting to another, or dropping suddenly back into literal speech.=

Crude: The Republicans have gained a foothold in the heart of the cotton belt.

Right: The Republicans have gained a foothold in the South.

Crude: He traveled a rough road and climbed with his burden the ladder of success, where he is a glowing example and guide to other men. [The suggestion which a reader with a sense of humor may get is, that a man starts out as a traveler, suddenly becomes a hod-carrier, and is then transformed into a bonfire or a lighthouse.]

Right: He traveled a rough road, but found success. Other men followed in his steps.

Incongruous: Spring came scattering flowers, and there was rain a great per cent of the time. [This sentence mingles the language of poetry with the language of science. It should be fanciful, or else literal, throughout.]

Right: Spring came scattering flowers and rain. [Or] Spring came with much rain and many flowers.

Inconsistent use of irony: The phonograph was shrieking, "Waltz me around again, Willie." I am sure I love that beautiful song. The taste of the people who attend these cheap theaters is deplorable. [The three sentences should be ironical throughout, or not ironical at all.]

Exercise:

1. We should meet the future from the optimistic point of view.

2. General Wolfe put every ounce of his life into the capture of Quebec.

3. A key-note of sincerity should be the mainspring of a well-built speech.

4. He went drifting down the sands of time on flowery beds of ease.

5. The blank in my mind crystallized into action.

USE OF CONNECTIVES

=The Exact Connective=

=36. Use a connective which expresses the exact relation between two clauses. Distinguish between time and cause, concession and condition, etc. Do not overwork _and_, _so_, or _while_.=

Misleading: _While_ he is sick, he is able to walk. [Use _though_.]

Misleading: Miss Brown sang, _while_ her sister spoke a piece. [Use _but_.]

Faulty. Work hard _when_ you want to succeed. [Use _if_.]

Faulty: They will be sorry _without_ they do this. [Use _unless_.]

Faulty: Little poetry is read, _only_ at times when it is compulsory. [Use _except_.]

Faulty. The early morning and evening are the best times to find ducks, _and_ we did not see many flying. [Use _and for that reason_.]

Faulty: Corbin says: "In America sportsmanship is almost a passion," _and_ in England "the player very seldom forgets that he is a man first and an athlete afterward." [Use _whereas_.]

Note.--_So_ is an elastic word that covers a multitude of vague meanings. Language has need of such a word, and in many instances (especially when the relation between clauses is obvious and does not need to be pointed out) _so_ serves well enough. Use it, but not as a substitute for more exact connectives. Beware of falling into the "_so_-habit."

Abuse of _so_ as a vague coördinating connective: So I went to call on Mrs. Woods, and so she told me about Mrs. White's new gown; so then I missed the car, and so of course our supper is late. [Strike out every _so_.]

Abuse of _so_ as a subordinating connective: You may go, _so_ you keep still. [Use _provided_.] _So_ you do only that, I shall be satisfied. [Use _though_.]

Permissible: I was excited, so I missed the target.

_So_ may sometimes be used to express result. But when a clause of result is important and needs emphasis, it is perhaps better to strike out _so_ and subordinate the preceding clause.

Right: In my excitement I missed the target.

Right: Because I was excited, I missed the target.

Right: Being excited, I missed the target.

=List of Connectives=

=A. With Coördinate Clauses, expressing=

=1. Addition:= and, besides, furthermore, again, in addition, in like manner, likewise, moreover, then too, and finally.

=2. Contrast:= but, and yet, however, in spite of, in contrast to this, nevertheless, notwithstanding, nor, on the contrary, for all that, rather still, but unhappily, yet unfortunately, whereas.

=3. Alternative:= or, nor, else, otherwise, neither, nor, or on the other hand.

=4. Consequence:= therefore, hence, consequently, accordingly, in this way, it follows that, the consequence is, and under such circumstances, wherefore, thus, as a result, as a consequence.

=5. Explanation:= for example, for instance, in particular, more specifically, for, because.

=6. Repetition for emphasis:= in other words, that is to say, and assuredly, certainly, in fact, and in truth, indeed it is certain, undoubtedly, for example, in the same way, as I have said.

=B. With Subordinate Adverb Clauses, expressing=

=1. Time:= when, then, before, while, after, until at last, as long as, now that, upon which, until, whenever, whereupon, meanwhile.

=2. Place:= where, whence, whither, wherever.

=3. Degree or Comparison:= as, more than, rather than, than, to the degree in which.

=4. Manner:= as, as if, as though.

=5. Cause:= because, for, as, inasmuch as, since, owing to the fact that, seeing that, in that.

=6. Purpose:= that, so that, in order that, lest.

=7. Result:= that is, so that, but that.

=8. Condition:= if, provided that, in case that, on condition that, supposing that, unless.

=9. Concession:= though, although, assuming that, admitting that, granting that, even if, no matter how, notwithstanding, of course.

=C. With Adjective Clauses.= Adjective or relative clauses are introduced by who, which, that, or an equivalent compound.

Exercise:

Insert within the parentheses all the connectives that might conceivably be used, and underscore the one which you consider to be most exact:

1. He is not a broad-minded man; ( ) he has many prejudices.

2. A number of friends came in, bringing refreshments, ( ) we spent a delightful evening.

3. We ought to return now, for it is growing dark; ( ) I told Mary we would be home at six o'clock.

4. I do not believe that climate is responsible for many of the differences between races, ( ) Taine says that it is.

5. She took the letter from me and read it slowly, ( ) her eyes filled with tears.

=Repetition of Connective with a Gain in Clearness=

=37. Connectives that accompany a parallel series should be repeated when clearness requires.=

Preposition to be repeated: He was regarded as a hero by all who had known him at school, and especially his old school mates.

Right: He was regarded as a hero _by_ all who had known him at school, and especially _by_ his old school mates.

Sign of the infinitive to be repeated: He wishes to join with those who love freedom and justice, and end needless suffering.

Right: He wishes _to_ join with those who love freedom and justice, and _to_ end needless suffering.

Conjunction to be repeated: Since he was known to have succeeded in earlier enterprises, though confronted by difficulties that would have taxed the ability of older men, and his powers were now acknowledged to be mature, he was put in charge of the undertaking.

Right: _Since_ he was known to have succeeded in earlier enterprises, though confronted by difficulties that would have taxed the ability of older men, and _since_ his powers were now acknowledged to be mature, he was put in charge of the undertaking.

Conjunction to be repeated: He explained that the strikers asked only a fair hearing, since their contentions were misunderstood; were by no means in favor of the violent measures to which the public had grown accustomed; and had no desire to resort to bloodshed and the destruction of property.

Right: He explained _that_ the strikers asked only a fair hearing, since their contentions were misunderstood; _that_ they were by no means in favor of the violent measures to which the public had grown accustomed; and _that_ they had no desire to resort to bloodshed and the destruction of property.

Exercise:

1. The place is often visited by fishermen who catch some strange varieties of fish and especially summer tourists.

2. The worth of a man depends upon his character, not his possessions. 3. He was delighted with that part of the city which overlooked the harbor and bay, and especially the citadel on the highest point.

4. Although he was so youthful in appearance that the recruiting officer must have known he was under twenty-one, and had not yet become a fully naturalized citizen, his effort to enlist met with immediate success.

5. In the course of his speech he said that he was a foreigner, he came to this country when he was fourteen years old, landing in New York with his only possessions tied in a handkerchief, went to work in an iron foundry, and after many years of toil he found himself at the head of a great industry.

=Repetition of Connective with a Loss in Clearness=

=38. Do not complicate thought by persistent repetition of elements beginning with _that_, _which_, _of_, _for_, or _but_, and NOT parallel in structure.=

Complicated repetition of _that_: He gave a quarter to the boy that brought the paper that printed the news that the war was ended. [_That_, _which_, and _who_ are often used carelessly to form a chain of subordinate clauses. Three successive subordinations are all that a reader can possibly keep straight; ordinarily a writer should not exceed two. But in parallel structure (See 30 and 37) the number of _that_, _which_, or _who_ clauses does not matter; a writer may fill a page with them and not confuse the reader at all.]

Right: He gave the boy a quarter for bringing him the paper with the news that the war was ended.

Complicated repetition of _of_: The East Side Civics Club is an organization of helpers of the helpless of the lower classes of the city.

Right: The East Side Civics Club is organized to help the helpless poor of the city.

Complicated repetition of _for_: The general was dismayed, for he had not expected resistance, for he had thought the power of the enemy was shattered.

Right: The general was dismayed; he had not expected resistance, for he had thought the power of the enemy was shattered.

Complicated repetition of _but_: He was undoubtedly a brave man, but now he was somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn back.

Right: He was undoubtedly a brave man; though now somewhat alarmed, he would not turn back. [Or] He was undoubtedly a brave man. He was now somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn back.

Note.--Guard against the _but_-habit. Frequent recurrence of _but_ makes the reader's thought "tack" or change its course too often. There are ways to avoid an excessive use of _but_ and _however_. When one wishes to write about two things, A and B, which are opposed, he need not rush back and forth from one idea to the other. Let him first say all he wants to say about A. Then let him deliberately use the adversative _but_, and proceed to the discussion of B. In the following paragraph on "Whipping Children" the writer tries to be on both sides of the fence at once.

Confusing: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed, than to explain and argue. _But_ the gentler method is better. _Yet_ we all admit that the birch must be used sometimes. _However_, if it is used only for serious trangressions, the child will have a sense of proportion regarding what offenses are grave. _But_ for ordinary small misdemeanors I think we need a new motto: Spoil the rod and spare the child.

Right: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed than to explain and argue. And of course we all admit that the birch must be used sometimes. _But_ if it is used only for serious transgressions, the child will have a sense of proportion regarding what offenses are grave. For ordinary small misdemeanors I think we need a new motto: Spoil the rod and spare the child.

Exercise:

1. He did not agree at first, but hesitated for a time, but finally said that he would go along.

2. Push down on the foot lever, which closes a switch which starts an electric motor which turns the flywheel so that the gasoline engine starts.

3. Apple dumplings are good, but they must be properly baked, but fortunately this is not difficult to do.

4. The work of the course consists partly of the study of the principles of grammar and of rhetoric, partly of the writing of themes, partly of oral composition, and partly of the reading and study of models of English prose.

5. The landscape which lay before me was one which was different from any which I had ever seen before. There was one thing which impressed me, and that was the miles and miles of grass which stretched and undulated away from the hill on which I stood.

=39.= EXERCISE IN CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT

=A. Parallel Structure=

Give parallel structure to elements which are parallel in thought.

1. Baskets are of practical value as well as being used for ornaments.

2. The Book of Job ought to be interesting to a student, or for anybody.

3. The important considerations are whether the soil is sandy, and if it is well drained, and that it shall be easily cultivated.

4. A flower garden is a source of profit--profit not measured in money but in pleasure.

5. He was successful in business, and also attained success in the political world.

6. Whether his object was writing for pastime, or to please a friend, or money, we do not know.

7. Always praise your enemy, because if you whip him your glory is increased, and if he whips you it lets you down easy.

8. Either the ship will sink in the rough sea or go to pieces on the shore.

9. An athlete must possess strength, nerve, and be able to think quickly.

10. We were interested in buying some dry-goods, and at the same time see the sights of the great city.

11. Some people talk foolishness, and others on serious subjects, and some keep still.

12. Not only she noticed my condition, but commented on it.

13. He abides by neither the laws of God nor man. He spoke both to Harry and Tom.

14. It is good for the health of one's mind to get new ideas every day, and expressing them clearly in writing.

15. Everyone who is capable of understanding the tax laws should know them and how they are abused.

16. I began by making applications at federal, state, and city employment bureaus for a position as cost accountant, salesman, or clerical work.

17. The damage to the trunk was caused by rough handling and not from faults in construction.

18. Pope, Swift, Addison, and Defoe were four satirists, but differing greatly in their work.

19. The occupants of these buildings are engaged in various kinds of business, namely: shoe-shining, shoe repair shops, cleaning and pressing clothes, confectionery stores, and restaurants.

20. I sing of geese: of the Biblical goose, that blew his bugle from the roof of Noah's Ark; the classical goose that picked his livelihood along the shores of the Ægean; of the historical goose, that squawked to save old Rome; the mercenary goose, laying the golden egg; and, finally, of the roast goose.

=B. Shift in Subject or Voice=

Rewrite the following sentences, avoiding all unnecessary shift in construction.

1. After you decide on the plan of the house, your attention is turned to the materials of construction.

2. Editors are careful to use words that are exact, yet simple, and the use of technical terms is not generally considered to be good.

3. Bank accounts should be balanced once a month in order that you may know your exact standing.

4. We should have our athletic contest between the weakest students, and in that way they will become physically strong.

5. When one is making a long-distance run, several cautions should be borne in mind by him.

6. In melody the poem is good, but the author's ideas are eccentric.

7. Lincoln's sentences are plain, blunt, and to the point. He lacks the ornate eloquence of Jefferson.

8. The operator places a large shovelful of concrete in the mold, and the mixture is made solid by tamping.

9. He might become angry, but it was over in a few minutes.

10. The pauper chanced to gain entrance to the royal palace, and while there the young prince is met by him.

11. When the weather is hot, plowing is accomplished very slowly with horses, while on the tractor the heat has no effect.

12. First, one should mix one-half cup of corn syrup and one cup of brown sugar; then one cup of cream and the flavoring are added.

13. In the college situated in a small town there are dormitories for the student, but in the cities they usually room where they please.

14. An education should enable us to tell the valuable from the cheap book, and by it we should be able to tell the true from the counterfeit man.

15. Moisten the sand thoroughly and set the box in a warm place, and in about a week's time it can readily be seen by the way the grains have sprouted which ears of seed corn have greatest vitality.

=C. Shift in Number, Person, or Tense=

Rewrite the following sentences, removing all inconsistency in grammatical form.

1. Every one has a right to their own opinion.

2. Bryant rushed to the window and shouts at the postman.

3. The life of the honey bee has been studied, and their activities found to be remarkable.

4. He says to me, "Are you ready?" And I answered, "No."

5. When a person keeps a store, you should remember the names and faces of your customers.

6. An automobile is expensive, and they are liable to become an elephant on your hands.

7. If one studies the market, he would find that prices rise every year.

8. If one went to Europe, he will find everything different.

9. Since these tires were different in construction, the method of repairing will vary.

10. Contentment is a state of mind in which one is satisfied with themselves and their surroundings.

11. It is easy to catch 'possums if you can find the rascal.

12. The writer of a theme should not waste time on a long introduction, and get to the facts of your subject as quickly as possible.

13. Shakespeare's comedies are great fun. I prefer it to tragedy.

14. Often a man will knock at the door, and finds no one at home.

15. Too much attention will spoil a child. They should not be entertained every minute.

=D. The Exact Connective=

Each of the following sentences contains an idea which is, or may be, subordinate to another idea. (1) Decide what kind of subordinate relation should exist between the ideas. (2) Determine what connective best expresses this relation. (Consult 36 for a list of connectives.) (3) Write the sentence as it should be.

1. Wealth is a good thing, while honest wealth is better.

2. Spend an hour in the open air every day when you want to keep your health.

3. The rattlesnake gives warning and it is only afterward that he strikes.

4. South Americans are our national neighbors, and we as a nation should understand them.

5. The city man knows nothing about a cow, only that it has horns.

6. He got up early in order that he might be able to see the sunrise.

7. The tenderfoot saw the funnel-shaped cloud when he made for a cyclone cellar.

8. Men fear what they do not understand, and a coward is one who is ignorant.

9. Hinting did not influence her; then he tried scolding.

10. The valet spilled the wine, and the duke started up with an oath.

11. While he writhed on the ground, he was not really hurt.

12. He will not cash the check without you indorse it.

13. We want this work done by the first of April, so please send an estimate soon.

14. He had traveled everywhere, and he had a vivid recollection of only three scenes: Niagara Falls, the Jungfrau, and Lake Como.

15. I never hear him talk but he makes me angry.

16. Animals have some of the same feelings as human beings have.

17. It was four o'clock and we decided to return and be home for supper.

=E. Repetition of Connectives=

In the following sentences determine whether repetition is desirable or undesirable, and change the sentences accordingly.

1. With the coming of meal time, the potatoes are removed from the fire with a fork with a long handle.

2. His clothes were brushed and neat, but patched and repatched. But still he could be bright and cheery.

3. To no other magazine do I look forward to the arrival of its new issue, more than I do to the _World's Work_.

4. At the time the book was written, I believe Forster was considered to be almost the best biographer living at that time.

5. The freshman has no spirit until the sophomores have provoked him until he resists until he finds that he has spirit.

6. Some socialists are against the present system of initiative, referendum, and recall, but advocate a system much like it but applied in a different way.

7. The gun with which the Germans bombarded Paris with had a range of seventy-five miles.

8. Basketball is a game that I have played for years, and I am greatly interested in.

9. This is the lever which throws the switch which directs the train that takes the track that goes to Boston.

10. Short talks were made by the captain, the coach, and by the faculty.

11. At this school one can study to be a doctor, dentist, farmer, a lawyer, or an engineer.