Chapter 6

O Farm our own, Sabine or Tiburtine, (For style thee "Tiburs" who have not at heart To hurt Catullus, whereas all that have Wage any wager thou be Sabine classed) But whether Sabine or of Tiburs truer 5 To thy suburban Cottage fared I fain And fro' my bronchials drave that cursèd cough Which not unmerited on me my maw, A-seeking sumptuous banquetings, bestowed. For I requesting to be Sestius' guest 10 Read against claimant Antius a speech, Full-filled with poisonous pestilential trash. Hence a grave frigid rheum and frequent cough Shook me till fled I to thy bosom, where Repose and nettle-broth healed all my ills. 15 Wherefore recruited now best thanks I give To thee for nowise punishing my sins: Nor do I now object if noisome writs Of Sestius hear I, but that cold and cough And rheum may plague, not me, but Sestius' self 20 Who asks me only his ill writs to read.

O, Homestead of ours, whether Sabine or Tiburtine (for that thou'rt Tiburtine folk concur, in whose heart 'tis not to wound Catullus; but those in whose heart 'tis, will wager anything thou'rt Sabine) but whether Sabine or more truly Tiburtine, o'erjoyed was I to be within thy rural country-home, and to cast off an ill cough from my chest, which--not unearned--my belly granted me, for grasping after sumptuous feeds. For, in my wish to be Sestius' guest, his defence against the plaintiff Antius, crammed with venom and pestilent dulness, did I read through. Hence a chill heavy rheum and fitful cough shattered me continually until I fled to thine asylum, and brought me back to health with rest and nettle-broth. Wherefore, re-manned, I give thee utmost thanks, that thou hast not avenged my fault. Nor do I pray now for aught but that, should I re-take Sestius' nefarious script, its frigid vapidness may bring a cold and cough to Sestius' self; for he but invites me when I read dull stuff.

XXXXV.

Acmen Septumius suos amores Tenens in gremio 'mea' inquit 'Acme, Ni te perdite amo atque amare porro Omnes sum adsidue paratus annos Quantum qui pote plurimum perire, 5 Solus in Libya Indiave tosta Caesio veniam obvius leoni.' Hoc ut dixit, Amor, sinistra ut ante, Dextra sternuit adprobationem. At Acme leviter caput reflectens 10 Et dulcis pueri ebrios ocellos Illo purpureo ore saviata 'Sic' inquit 'mea vita Septumille, Huic uni domino usque serviamus, Vt multo mihi maior acriorque 15 Ignis mollibus ardet in medullis.' Hoc ut dixit, Amor, sinistra ut ante, Dextra sternuit adprobationem. Nunc ab auspicio bono profecti Mutuis animis amant amantur. 20 Vnam Septumius misellus Acmen Mavolt quam Syrias Britanniasque: Vno in Septumio fidelis Acme Facit delicias libidinesque. Quis ullos homines beatiores 25 Vidit, quis Venerem auspicatiorem?

XXXXV.

ON ACME AND SEPTUMIUS.

To Acmé quoth Septumius who his fere Held on his bosom--"Acmé, mine! next year, Unless I love thee fondlier than before, And with each twelve month love thee more and more, As much as lover's life can slay with yearning, 5 Alone in Lybia, or Hind's clime a-burning, Be mine to encounter Lion grisly-eyed!" While he was speaking Love on leftward side (As wont) approving sneeze from dextral sped. But Acmé backwards gently bending head, 10 And the love-drunken eyes of her sweet boy Kissing with yonder rosy mouth, "My joy," She murmured, "my life-love Septumillus mine! Unto one master's hest let's aye incline, As burns with fuller and with fiercer fire 15 In my soft marrow set, this love-desire!" While she was speaking, Love from leftward side (As wont) with sneeze approving rightwards hied. Now with boon omens wafted on their way, In mutual fondness, love and loved are they. 20 Love-sick Septumius holds one Acmé's love, Of Syrias or either Britains high above, Acmé to one Septumius full of faith Her love and love-liesse surrendereth. Who e'er saw mortals happier than these two? 25 Who e'er a better omened Venus knew?

Septumius clasping Acme his adored to his bosom, "Acme mine," quoth he, "if thee I love not to perdition, nor am prepared to love through all the future years moreover without cease, as greatly and distractedly as man may,--alone in Libya or in torrid India may I oppose a steel-eyed lion." As thus he said, Love, leftwards as before, with approbation rightwards sneezed. Then Acme slightly bending back her head, and the swimming eyes of her sweet boy with rose-red lips a-kissing, "So," quoth she, "my life, Septumillus, this Lord unique let us serve for aye, as more forceful in me burns the fire greater and keener 'midst my soft marrow." As thus she said, Love, leftwards as before, with approbation rightwards sneezed. Now with good auspice urged along, with mutual minds they love and are beloved. The thrall o' love Septumius his only Acme far would choose, than Tyrian or Britannian realms: the faithful Acme with Septumius unique doth work her love delights and wantonings. Whoe'er has seen folk blissfuller, whoe'er a more propitious union?

XXXXVI.

Iam ver egelidos refert tepores, Iam caeli furor aequinoctialis Iocundis Zephyri silescit aureis. Linquantur Phrygii, Catulle, campi Nicaeaeque ager uber aestuosae: 5 Ad claras Asiae volemus urbes. Iam mens praetrepidans avet vagari, Iam laeti studio pedes vigescunt. O dulces comitum valete coetus, Longe quos simul a domo profectos 10 Diversae variae viae reportant.

XXXXVI.

HIS ADIEUX TO BITHYNIA.

Now Spring his cooly mildness brings us back, Now th' equinoctial heaven's rage and wrack Hushes at hest of Zephyr's bonny breeze. Far left (Catullus!) be the Phrygian leas And summery Nicæa's fertile downs: 5 Fly we to Asia's fame-illumined towns. Now lust my fluttering thoughts for wayfare long, Now my glad eager feet grow steady, strong. O fare ye well, my comrades, pleasant throng, Ye who together far from homesteads flying, 10 By many various ways come homewards hieing.

Now springtide brings back its mild and tepid airs, now the heaven's fury equinoctial is calmed by Zephyr's benign breath. The Phrygian meadows are left behind, O Catullus, and the teeming fields of sun-scorched Nicaea: to the glorious Asian cities let us haste. Now my palpitating soul craves wander, now my feet grow vigorous with glad zeal. O charming circlet of comrades, fare ye well, who are together met from distant homes to which divers sundered ways lead back.

XXXXVII.

Porci et Socration, duae sinistrae Pisonis, scabies famesque mundi Vos Veraniolo meo et Fabullo Verpus praeposuit Priapus ille? Vos convivia lauta sumptuose 5 De die facitis? mei sodales Quaerunt in trivio vocationes?

XXXXVII.

TO PORCIUS AND SOCRATION.

Porcius and Socration, pair sinister Of Piso, scabs and starvelings of the world, You to Fabúllus and my Verianólus, Hath dared yon snipt Priapus to prefer? Upon rich banquets sumptuously spread 5 Still gorge you daily while my comrades must Go seek invitals where the three roads fork?

Porcius and Socration, twins in rascality of Piso, scurf and famisht of the earth, you before my Veraniolus and Fabullus has that prepuce-lacking Priapus placed? Shall you betimes each day in luxurious opulence banquet? And must my cronies quest for dinner invitations, [lounging] where the three cross-roads meet?

XXXXVIII.

Mellitos oculos tuos, Iuventi, Siquis me sinat usque basiare, Vsque ad milia basiem trecenta, Nec umquam videar satur futurus, Non si densior aridis aristis 5 Sit nostrae seges osculationis.

XXXXVIII.

TO JUVENTIUS.

Those honied eyes of thine (Juventius!) If any suffer me sans stint to buss, I'd kiss of kisses hundred thousands three, Nor ever deem I'd reach satiety, Not albe denser than dried wheat-ears show 5 The kissing harvests our embraces grow.

Thine honey-sweet eyes, O Juventius, had I the leave to kiss for aye, for aye I'd kiss e'en to three hundred thousand kisses, nor ever should I reach to future plenity, not even if thicker than dried wheat sheaves be the harvest of our kisses.

XXXXVIIII.

Disertissime Romuli nepotum, Quot sunt quotque fuere, Marce Tulli, Quotque post aliis erunt in annis, Gratias tibi maximas Catullus Agit pessimus omnium poeta, 5 Tanto pessimus omnium poeta Quanto tu optimus omnium patronus.

XXXXVIIII.

TO MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO.

Most eloquent 'mid race of Romulus That is or ever was (Marc Tullius!) Or in the coming years the light shall see, His thanks, the warmest, offers unto thee Catullus, poet sorriest that be, 5 And by such measure poet sorriest, As thou of pleaders art the bestest best.

Most eloquent of Romulus' descendancy, who are, who have been, O Marcus Tullius, and who shall later be in after time, to thee doth give his greatest gratitude Catullus, pettiest of all the poets,--and so much pettiest of all the poets as thou art peerless 'mongst all pleaders.

L.

Hesterno, Licini, die otiosi Multum lusimus in meis tabellis, Vt convenerat esse delicatos. Scribens versiculos uterque nostrum Ludebat numero modo hoc modo illoc, 5 Reddens mutua per iocum atque vinum. Atque illinc abii tuo lepore Incensus, Licini, facetiisque, Vt nec me miserum cibus iuvaret, Nec somnus tegeret quiete ocellos, 10 Sed toto indomitus furore lecto Versarer cupiens videre lucem, Vt tecum loquerer, simulque ut essem. At defessa labore membra postquam Semimortua lectulo iacebant, 15 Hoc, iocunde, tibi poema feci, Ex quo perspiceres meum dolorem. Nunc audax cave sis, precesque nostras, Oramus, cave despuas, ocelle, Ne poenas Nemesis reposcat a te. 20 Est vemens dea: laedere hanc caveto.

L.

TO HIS FRIEND LICINIUS.

Idly (Licinius!) we our yesterday, Played with my tablets much as pleased us play, In mode becoming souls of dainty strain. Inditing verses either of us twain Now in one measure then in other line 5 We rang the changes amid wit and wine. Then fared I homewards by thy fun so fired And by thy jests (Licinius!) so inspired, Nor food my hapless appetite availed Nor sleep in quiet rest my eyelids veiled, 10 But o'er the bedstead wild in furious plight I tossed a-longing to behold the light, So I might talk wi' thee, and be wi' thee. But when these wearied limbs from labour free Were on my couchlet strewn half-dead to lie, 15 For thee (sweet wag!) this poem for thee wrote I, Whereby thou mete and weet my cark and care. Now be not over-bold, nor this our prayer Outspit thou (apple of mine eyes!): we pray Lest doom thee Nemesis hard pain repay:-- 20 She's a dire Goddess, 'ware thou cross her way.

Yestreen, Licinius, in restful day, much mirthful verse we flashed upon my tablets, as became us, men of fancy. Each jotting versicles in turn sported first in this metre then in that, exchanging mutual epigrams 'midst jokes and wine. But I departed thence, afire, Licinius, with thy wit and drolleries, so that food was useless to my wretched self; nor could sleep close mine eyes in quiet, but all o'er the bed in restless fury did I toss, longing to behold daylight that with thee I might speak, and again we might be together. But afterwards, when my limbs, weakened by my restless labours, lay stretched in semi-death upon the bed, this poem, O jocund one, I made for thee, from which thou mayst perceive my dolour. Now 'ware thee of presumptuousness, and our pleadings 'ware thee of rejecting, we pray thee, eye-babe of ours, lest Nemesis exact her dues from thee. She is a forceful Goddess; 'ware her wrath.

LI.

Ille mi par esse deo videtur, Ille, si fas est, superare divos, Qui sedens adversus identidem te Spectat et audit Dulce ridentem, misero quod omnis 5 Eripit sensus mihi: nam simul te, Lesbia, aspexi, nihil est super mi * * * * Lingua sed torpet, tenuis sub artus Flamma demanat, sonitu suopte 10 Tintinant aures geminae, teguntur Lumina nocte.

LIb.

Otium, Catulle, tibi molestumst: Otio exultas nimiumque gestis. 15 Otium et reges prius et beatas Perdidit urbes.

LI.

TO LESBIA.

Peer of a God meseemeth he, Nay passing Gods (and that can be!) Who all the while sits facing thee Sees thee and hears Thy low sweet laughs which (ah me!) daze 5 Mine every sense, and as I gaze Upon thee (Lesbia!) o'er me strays * * * * My tongue is dulled, my limbs adown Flows subtle flame; with sound its own 10 Rings either ear, and o'er are strown Mine eyes with night.

LIb.

Ease has thy lot, Catullus, crost, Ease gladdens thee at heaviest cost, 15 Ease killed the Kings ere this and lost The tallest towns.

He to me to be peer to a god doth seem, he, if such were lawful, to o'er-top the gods, who sitting oft a-front of thee doth gaze on thee, and doth listen to thine laughter lovely, which doth snatch away from sombre me mine every sense: for instant falls my glance on thee, Lesbia, naught is left to me [of voice], but my tongue is numbed, a keen-edged flame spreads through my limbs, with sound self-caused my twin ears sing, and mine eyes are enwrapped with night.

Sloth, O Catullus, to thee is hurtful: in sloth beyond measure dost thou exult and pass thy life. Sloth hath erewhile ruined rulers and gladsome cities.

LII.

Quid est, Catulle? quid moraris emori? Sella in curuli struma Nonius sedet, Per consulatum peierat Vatinius: Quid est, Catulle? quid moraris emori?

LII.

CATULLUS TO HIMSELF.

What is't, Catullus? Why delay to out die? That Wen hight Nonius sits in curule chair, For Consulship Vatinius false doth swear; What is't, Catullus? Why delay to out die?

Prithee Catullus, why delay thine death? Nonius the tumour is seated in the curule chair, Vatinius forswears himself for consul's rank: prithee Catullus, why delay thine death?

LIII.

Risi nescioquem modo e corona, Qui, cum mirifice Vatiniana Meus crimina Calvos explicasset, Admirans ait haec manusque tollens, 'Di magni, salaputium disertum!' 5

LIII.

A JEST CONCERNING CALVUS.

I laughed at one 'mid Forum-crowd unknown Who, when Vatinius' crimes in wondrous way Had by my Calvus been explained, exposed, His hand upraising high admiring cried "Great Gods! the loquent little Doodle-diddle!" 5

I laughed at I know not whom in the crowded court who, when with admirable art Vatinius' crimes my Calvus had set forth, with hands uplifted and admiring mien thus quoth "Great Gods, the fluent little Larydoodle!"

LIIII.

Othonis caput oppidost pusillum * * * * Neri rustica semilauta crura, Subtile et leve peditum Libonis. * * * * Si non omnia displicere vellem Tibi et Fuficio seni recocte 5

LIIIIb.

Irascere iterum meis iambis Inmerentibus, unice imperator.

LIIII.

TO JULIUS CÆSAR. (?)

The head of Otho, puniest of pates * * * * The rustic half-washt shanks of Nerius And Libo's subtle silent fizzling-farts. * * * * I wish that leastwise these should breed disgust In thee and old Fuficius, rogue twice-cookt. 5

LIIIIb.

Again at these mine innocent iamb-lines Wi' wrath be wrothest; unique Emperor!

Otho's head is paltry past all phrase * * * the uncouth semi-soaped shanks of Nerius, the slender soundless fizzlings of Libo * * * if not all things I wish would displease thee and Fuficius, the white-headed and green-tailed.

Anew thou shalt be enraged at my harmless iambics, emperor unique.

LV.

Oramus, si forte non molestumst, Demostres, ubi sint tuae tenebrae. Te campo quaesivimus minore, Te in circo, te in omnibus libellis, Te in templo summi Iovis sacrato. 5 In Magni simul ambulatione Femellas omnes, amice, prendi, Quas vultu vidi tamen serenas. A, vel te sic ipse flagitabam, 'Camerium mihi, pessimae puellae.' 10 Quaedam inquit, nudum sinum reducens, 'En heic in roseis latet papillis.' Sed te iam ferre Herculei labos est. 13 Non custos si fingar ille Cretum, 23 Non si Pegaseo ferar volatu, Non Ladas ego pinnipesve Perseus, 25 Non Rhesi nivea citaque biga: Adde huc plumipedes volatilesque, Ventorumque simul require cursum: Quos cunctos, Cameri, mihi dicares, Defessus tamen omnibus medullis 30 Et multis langoribus peresus Essem te mihi, amice, quaeritando. 32 Tanto ten fastu negas, amice? 14 Dic nobis ubi sis futurus, ede Audacter, conmitte, crede lucei. Num te lacteolae tenent puellae? Si linguam clauso tenes in ore, Fructus proicies amoris omnes: Verbosa gaudet Venus loquella. 20 Vel si vis, licet obseres palatum, Dum vostri sim particeps amoris.

LV.

OF HIS FRIEND CAMERIUS.

We pray, an' haply irk it not when prayed, Show us where shadowed hidest thou in shade! Thee throughout Campus Minor sought we all, Thee in the Circus, thee in each bookstall, Thee in Almighty Jove's fane consecrate. 5 Nor less in promenade titled from The Great (Friend!) I accosted each and every quean, But mostly madams showing mien serene, For thee I pestered all with many pleas-- "Give me Camérius, wanton baggages!" 10 Till answered certain one a-baring breasts "Lo, 'twixt these rosy paps he haply rests!" But now to find thee were Herculean feat. 13 Not if I feignèd me that guard of Crete, 23 Not if with Pegasèan wing I sped, Or Ladas I or Perseus plumiped, 25 Or Rhesus borne in swifty car snow-white: Add the twain foot-bewing'd and fast of flight, And of the cursive winds require the blow: All these (Camérius!) couldst on me bestow. Tho' were I wearied to each marrow bone 30 And by many o' languors clean forgone Yet I to seek thee (friend!) would still assay. 32 In such proud lodging (friend) wouldst self denay? 14 Tell us where haply dwell'st thou, speak outright, Be bold and risk it, trusting truth to light, Say do these milk-white girls thy steps detain? If aye in tight-sealed lips thy tongue remain, All Amor's fruitage thou shalt cast away: Verbose is Venus, loving verbal play! 20 But, an it please thee, padlockt palate bear, So in your friendship I have partner-share.

We beg, if maybe 'tis not untoward, thou'lt shew us where may be thine haunt sequestered. Thee did we quest within the Lesser Fields, thee in the Circus, thee in every bookshop, thee in holy fane of highmost Jove. In promenade yclept "The Great," the crowd of cocottes straightway did I stop, O friend, accosting those whose looks I noted were unruffled. And for thee loudly did I clamour, "Restore to me Camerius, most giddy girls." Quoth such-an-one, her bosom bare a-shewing, "Look! 'twixt rose-red paps he shelters him." But labour 'tis of Hercules thee now to find. Not were I framed the Cretan guard, nor did I move with Pegasean wing, nor were I Ladas, or Persius with the flying foot, or Rhesus with swift and snowy team: to these add thou the feathery-footed and winged ones, ask likewise fleetness of the winds: which all united, O Camerius, couldst thou me grant, yet exhausted in mine every marrow and with many a faintness consumed should I be in my quest for thee, O friend. Why withdraw thyself in so much pride, O friend? Tell us where thou wilt be found, declare it boldly, give up the secret, trust it to the light. What, do the milk-white maidens hold thee? If thou dost hold thy tongue closed up in mouth, thou squanderest Love's every fruit: for Venus joys in many-worded babblings. Yet if thou wishest, thou mayst bar thy palate, if I may be a sharer in thy love.

LVI.

Orem ridiculam, Cato, et iocosam Dignamque auribus et tuo cachinno. Ride, quidquid amas, Cato, Catullum: Res est ridicula et nimis iocosa. Deprendi modo pupulum puellae 5 Trusantem: hunc ego, si placet Dionae, Protelo rigida mea cecidi.

LVI.

TO CATO, DESCRIBING A "BLACK JOKER."

O risible matter (Cato!) and jocose, Digne of thy hearing, of thy sneering digne. Laugh (Cato!) an thou love Catullus thine; The thing is risible, nay, too jocose. Erstwhile I came upon a lad who a lass 5 Was ---- and (so please it Dion!) I Pierced him with stiffest staff and did him die.

O thing ridiculous, Cato, and facetious, and worthy of thine ears and of thy laughter. Laugh, Cato, the more thou lovest Catullus: the thing is ridiculous, and beyond measure facetious. Just now I caught a boy a-thrusting in a girl: and on him (so please you, Dione) with rigid spear of mine I fell.

LVII.

Pulcre convenit inprobis cinaedis, Mamurrae pathicoque Caesarique. Nec mirum: maculae pares utrisque, Vrbana altera et illa Formiana, Inpressae resident nec eluentur: 5 Morbosi pariter, gemelli utrique Vno in lectulo, erudituli ambo, Non hic quam ille magis vorax adulter, Rivales sociei puellularum. Pulcre convenit inprobis cinaedis. 10

LVII.

ON MAMURRA AND JULIUS CÆSAR.

Right well are paired these Cinaedes sans shame Mamurra and Cæsar, both of pathic fame. No wonder! Both are fouled with foulest blight, One urban being, Formian t'other wight, And deeply printed with indelible stain: 5 Morbose is either, and the twin-like twain Share single Couchlet; peers in shallow lore, Nor this nor that for lechery hungers more, As rival wenchers who the maidens claim Right well are paired these Cinaedes sans shame. 10

A comely couple of shameless catamites, Mamurra and Caesar, pathics both. Nor needs amaze: they share like stains--this, Urban, the other, Formian,--which stay deep-marked nor can they be got rid of. Both morbidly diseased through pathic vice, the pair of twins lie in one bed, alike in erudition, one not more than other the greater greedier adulterer, allied rivals of the girls. A comely couple of shameless catamites.

LVIII.

Caeli, Lesbia nostra, Lesbia illa, Illa Lesbia, quam Catullus unam Plus quam se atque suos amavit omnes, Nunc in quadriviis et angiportis Glubit magnanimos Remi nepotes. 5

LVIII.

ON LESBIA WHO ENDED BADLY.

Cælius! That Lesbia of ours, that Lesbia, That only Lesbia by Catullus loved, Than self, far fondlier, than all his friends, She now where four roads fork, and wind the wynds Husks the high-minded scions Remus-sprung. 5