Chapter 15

That when, opprest by fortune and in grievous case, thou didst send me this epistle o'erwrit with tears, that I might bear up shipwrecked thee tossed by the foaming waves of the sea, and restore thee from the threshold of death; thou whom neither sacred Venus suffers to repose in soft slumber, desolate on a a lonely couch, nor do the Muses divert with the sweet song of ancient poets, whilst thy anxious mind keeps vigil:--this is grateful to me, since thou dost call me thy friend, and dost seek hither the gifts of the Muses and of Venus. But that my troubles may not be unknown to thee, O Manius, nor thou deem I shun the office of host, hear how I am whelmed in the waves of that same fortune, nor further seek joyful gifts from a wretched one. In that time when the white vestment was first handed to me, and my florid age was passing in jocund spring, much did I sport enow: nor was the goddess unknown to us who mixes bitter-sweet with our cares. But my brother's death plunged all this pursuit into mourning. O brother, taken from my unhappy self; thou by thy dying hast broken my ease, O brother; all our house is buried with thee; with thee have perished the whole of our joys, which thy sweet love nourished in thy lifetime. Thou lost, I have dismissed wholly from mind these studies and every delight of mind. Wherefore, as to what thou writest, "'Tis shameful for Catullus to be at Verona, for there anyone of utmost note must chafe his frigid limbs on a desolate couch;" that, Manius, is not shameful; rather 'tis a pity. Therefore, do thou forgive, if what grief has snatched from me, these gifts, I do not bestow on thee, because I am unable. For, that there is no great store of writings with me arises from this, that we live at Rome: there is my home, there is my hall, thither my time is passed; hither but one of my book-cases follows me. As 'tis thus, I would not that thou deem we act so from ill-will or from a mind not sufficiently ingenuous, that ample store is not forthcoming to either of thy desires: both would I grant, had I the wherewithal. Nor can I conceal, goddesses, in what way Allius has aided me, or with how many good offices he has assisted me; nor shall fleeting time with its forgetful centuries cover with night's blindness this care of his. But I tell it to you, and do ye declare it to many thousands, and make this paper, grown old, speak of it * * * * And let him be more and more noted when dead, nor let the spider aloft, weaving her thin-drawn web, carry on her work over the neglected name of Allius. For you know what anxiety of mind wily Amathusia gave me, and in what manner she overthrew me, when I was burning like the Trinacrian rocks, or the Malian fount in Oetaean Thermopylae; nor did my piteous eyes cease to dissolve with continual weeping, nor my cheeks with sad showers to be bedewed. As the pellucid stream gushes forth from the moss-grown rock on the aerial crest of the mountain, which when it has rolled headlong prone down the valley, softly wends its way through the midst of the populous parts, sweet solace to the wayfarer sweating with weariness, when the oppressive heat cracks the burnt-up fields agape: or, as to sailors tempest-tossed in black whirlpool, there cometh a favourable and a gently-moving breeze, Pollux having been prayed anon, and Castor alike implored: of such kind was Manius' help to us. He with a wider limit laid open my closed field; he gave us a home and its mistress, on whom we both might exercise our loves in common. Thither with gracious gait my bright-hued goddess betook herself, and pressed her shining sole on the worn threshold with creaking of sandal; as once came Laodamia, flaming with love for her consort, to the home of Protesilaus,--a beginning of naught! for not yet with sacred blood had a victim made propitiate the lords of the heavens. May nothing please me so greatly, Rhamnusian virgin, that I should act thus heedlessly against the will of those lords! How the thirsty altar craves for sacrificial blood Laodamia was taught by the loss of her husband, being compelled to abandon the neck of her new spouse when one winter was past, before another winter had come, in whose long nights she might so glut her greedy love, that she could have lived despite her broken marriage-yoke, which the Parcae knew would not be long distant, if her husband as soldier should fare to the Ilian walls. For by Helena's rape Troy had begun to put the Argive Chiefs in the field; Troy accurst, the common grave of Asia and of Europe, Troy, the sad ashes of heroes and of every noble deed, that also lamentably brought death to our brother. O brother taken from unhappy me! O jocund light taken from thy unhappy brother! in thy one grave lies all our house, in thy one grave have perished all our joys, which thy sweet love did nurture during life. Whom now is laid so far away, not amongst familiar tombs nor near the ashes of his kindred, but obscene Troy, malign Troy, an alien earth, holds thee entombed in its remote soil. Thither, 'tis said, hastening together from all parts, the Grecian manhood forsook their hearths and homes, lest Paris enjoy his abducted trollop with freedom and leisure in a peaceful bed. Such then was thy case, loveliest Laodamia, to be bereft of husband sweeter than life, and than soul; thou being sucked in so great a whirlpool of love, its eddy submerged thee in its steep abyss, like (so folk say) to the Graian gulph near Pheneus of Cyllene with its fat swamp's soil drained and dried, which aforetime the falsely-born Amphitryoniades dared to hew through the marrow of cleft mountains, at the time when he smote down the Stymphalian monsters with sure shafts by the command of his inferior lord, so that the heavenly portal might be pressed by a greater number of deities, nor Hebe longer remain in her virginity. But deeper than that abyss was thy deep love which taught [thy husband] to bear his lady's forceful yoke. For not so dear to the spent age of the grandsire is the late born grandchild an only daughter rears, who, long-wished-for, at length inherits the ancestral wealth, his name duly set down in the attested tablets; and casting afar the impious hopes of the baffled next-of-kin, scares away the vulture from the whitened head; nor so much does any dove-mate rejoice in her snow-white consort (though, 'tis averred, more shameless than most in continually plucking kisses with nibbling beak) as thou dost, though woman is especially inconstant. But thou alone didst surpass the great frenzies of these, when thou wast once united to thy yellow-haired husband. Worthy to yield to whom in naught or in little, my light brought herself to my bosom, round whom Cupid, often running hither thither, gleamed lustrous-white in saffron-tinted tunic. Still although she is not content with Catullus alone, we will suffer the rare frailties of our coy lady, lest we may be too greatly unbearable, after the manner of fools. Often even Juno, greatest of heaven-dwellers, boiled with flaring wrath at her husband's default, wotting the host of frailties of all-wishful Jove. Yet 'tis not meet to match men with the gods, * * * * bear up the ungrateful burden of a tremulous parent. Yet she was not handed to me by a father's right hand when she came to my house fragrant with Assyrian odour, but she gave me her stealthy favours in the mute night, withdrawing of her own will from the bosom of her spouse. Wherefore that is enough if to us alone she gives that day which she marks with a whiter stone. This gift to thee, all that I can, of verse completed, is requital, Allius, for many offices, so that this day and that, and other and other of days may not tarnish your name with scabrous rust. Hither may the gods add gifts full many, which Themis aforetimes was wont to bear to the pious of old. May ye be happy, both thou and thy life's-love together, and thy home in which we have sported, and its mistress, and Anser who in the beginning brought thee to us, from whom all my good fortunes were first born, and lastly she whose very self is dearer to me than all these,--my light, whom living, 'tis sweet to me to live.

LXVIIII.

Noli admirari, quare tibi femina nulla, Rufe, velit tenerum supposuisse femur, Non si illam rarae labefactes munere vestis Aut perluciduli deliciis lapidis. Laedit te quaedam mala fabula, qua tibi fertur 5 Valle sub alarum trux habitare caper. Hunc metuunt omnes. neque mirum: nam mala valdest Bestia, nec quicum bella puella cubet. Quare aut crudelem nasorum interfice pestem, Aut admirari desine cur fugiunt. 10

LXVIIII.

TO RUFUS THE FETID.

Wonder not blatantly why no woman shall ever be willing (Rufus!) her tender thigh under thyself to bestow, Not an thou tempt her full by bribes of the rarest garments, Or by the dear delights gems the pellucidest deal. Harms thee an ugly tale wherein of thee is recorded 5 Horrible stench of the goat under thine arm-pits be lodged. All are in dread thereof; nor wonder this, for 'tis evil Beastie, nor damsel fair ever thereto shall succumb. So do thou either kill that cruel pest o' their noses, Or at their reason of flight blatantly wondering cease. 10

Be unwilling to wonder wherefore no woman, O Rufus, is wishful to place her tender thigh 'neath thee, not even if thou dost tempt her by the gift of a rare robe or by the delights of a crystal-clear gem. A certain ill tale injures thee, that thou bearest housed in the valley of thine armpits a grim goat. Hence everyone's fear. Nor be marvel: for 'tis an exceeding ill beast, with whom no fair girl will sleep. Wherefore, either murder that cruel plague of their noses, or cease to marvel why they fly?

LXX.

Nulli se dicit mulier mea nubere malle Quam mihi, non si se Iuppiter ipse petat. Dicit: sed mulier cupido quod dicit amanti, In vento et rapida scribere oportet aqua.

LXX.

ON WOMAN'S INCONSTANCY.

Never, my woman oft says, with any of men will she mate be, Save wi' my own very self, ask her though Jupiter deign! Says she: but womanly words that are spoken to desireful lover Ought to be written on wind or upon water that runs.

No one, saith my lady, would she rather wed than myself, not even if Jupiter's self crave her. Thus she saith! but what a woman tells an ardent amourist ought fitly to be graven on the breezes and in running waters.

LXXI.

Siquoi iure bono sacer alarum obstitit hircus, Aut siquem merito tarda podagra secat, Aemulus iste tuos, qui vostrum exercet amorem, Mirificost fato nactus utrumque malum, Nam quotiens futuit, totiens ulciscitur ambos: 5 Illam adfligit odore, ipse perit podagra.

LXXI.

TO VERRO.

An of a goat-stink damned from armpits fusty one suffer, Or if a crippling gout worthily any one rack, 'Tis that rival o' thine who lief in loves of you meddles, And, by a wondrous fate, gains him the twain of such ills. For that, oft as he ----, so oft that penance be two-fold; 5 Stifles her stench of goat, he too is kilt by his gout.

If ever anyone was deservedly cursed with an atrocious goat-stench from armpits, or if limping gout did justly gnaw one, 'tis thy rival, who occupies himself with your love, and who has stumbled by the marvel of fate on both these ills. For as oft as he swives, so oft is he taken vengeance on by both; she he prostrates by his stink, he is slain by his gout.

LXXII.

Dicebas quondam solum te nosse Catullum, Lesbia, nec prae me velle tenere Iovem. Dilexi tum te non tantum ut volgus amicam, Sed pater ut gnatos diligit et generos. Nunc te cognovi: quare etsi inpensius uror, 5 Multo mi tamen es vilior et levior. Qui potisest? inquis. quod amantem iniuria talis Cogit amare magis, sed bene velle minus.

LXXII.

TO LESBIA THE FALSE.

Wont thou to vaunt whilòme of knowing only Catullus (Lesbia!) nor to prefer Jupiter's self to myself. Then, too, I loved thee well, not as vulgar wretch his mistress But as a father his sons loves and his sons by the law. Now have I learnt thee aright; wherefor though burn I the hotter, 5 Lighter and viler by far thou unto me hast become. "How can this be?" dost ask: 'tis that such injury ever Forces the hotter to love, also the less well to will.

Once thou didst profess to know but Catullus, Lesbia, nor wouldst hold Jove before me. I loved thee then, not only as a churl his mistress, but as a father loves his own sons and sons-in-law. Now I do know thee: wherefore if more strongly I burn, thou art nevertheless to me far viler and of lighter thought. How may this be? thou askest. Because such wrongs drive a lover to greater passion, but to less wishes of welfare.

LXXIII.

Desine de quoquam quicquam bene velle mereri Aut aliquem fieri posse putare pium. Omnia sunt ingrata, nihil fecisse benigne _Prodest_, immo etiam taedet obestque magis Vt mihi, quem nemo gravius nec acerbius urget, 5 Quam modo qui me unum atque unicum amicum habuit.

LXXIII.

OF AN INGRATE.

Cease thou of any to hope desirèd boon of well-willing, Or deem any shall prove pious and true to his dues. Waxes the world ingrate, no deed benevolent profits, Nay full oft it irks even offending the more: Such is my case whom none maltreats more grievously bitter, 5 Than does the man that me held one and only to friend.

Cease thou to wish to merit well from anyone in aught, or to think any can become honourable. All are ingrate, naught benign doth avail to aught, but rather it doth irk and prove the greater ill: so with me, whom none doth o'erpress more heavily nor more bitterly than he who a little while ago held me his one and only friend.

LXXIIII.

Gellius audierat patruom obiurgare solere, Siquis delicias diceret aut faceret. Hoc ne ipsi accideret, patrui perdepsuit ipsam Vxorem et patruom reddidit Harpocratem. Quod voluit fecit: nam, quamvis inrumet ipsum 5 Nunc patruom, verbum non faciet patruos.

LXXIIII.

OF GELLIUS.

Wont was Gellius hear his uncle rich in reproaches, When any ventured aught wanton in word or in deed. Lest to him chance such befall, his uncle's consort seduced he, And of his uncle himself fashioned an Harpocrates. Whatso he willed did he; and nowdays albe his uncle 5 ---- he, no word ever that uncle shall speak.

Gellius had heard that his uncle was wont to be wroth, if any spake of or practised love-sportings. That this should not happen to him, he kneaded up his uncle's wife herself, and made of his uncle a god of silence. Whatever he wished, he did; for now, even if he irrumate his uncle's self, not a word will that uncle murmur.

LXXVII.

Rufe mihi frustra ac nequiquam credite amico (Frustra? immo magno cum pretio atque malo), Sicine subrepsti mei, atque intestina perurens Ei misero eripuisti omnia nostra bona? Eripuisti, heu heu nostrae crudele venenum 5 Vitae, heu heu nostrae pestis amicitiae. Sed nunc id doleo, quod purae pura puellae Savia conminxit spurca saliva tua. Verum id non inpune feres: nam te omnia saecla Noscent, et qui sis fama loquetur anus. 10

LXXVII.

TO RUFUS, THE TRAITOR FRIEND.

Rufus, trusted as friend by me, so fruitlessly, vainly, (Vainly? nay to my bane and at a ruinous price!) Hast thou cajoled me thus, and enfiring innermost vitals, Ravished the whole of our good own'd by wretchedest me? Ravished; (alas and alas!) of our life thou cruellest cruel 5 Venom, (alas and alas!) plague of our friendship and pest. Yet must I now lament that lips so pure of the purest Damsel, thy slaver foul soilèd with filthiest kiss. But ne'er hope to escape scot free; for thee shall all ages Know, and what thing thou be, Fame, the old crone, shall declare. 10

O Rufus, credited by me as a friend, wrongly and for naught, (wrongly? nay, at an ill and grievous price) hast thou thus stolen upon me, and a-burning my innermost bowels, snatched from wretched me all our good? Thou hast snatched it, alas, alas, thou cruel venom of our life! alas, alas, thou plague of our amity. But now 'tis grief, that thy swinish slaver has soiled the pure love-kisses of our pure girl. But in truth thou shalt not come off with impunity; for every age shall know thee, and Fame the aged, shall denounce what thou art.

LXXVIII.

Gallus habet fratres, quorumst lepidissima coniunx Alterius, lepidus filius alterius. Gallus homost bellus: nam dulces iungit amores, Cum puero ut bello bella puella cubet. Gallus homost stultus nec se videt esse maritum, 5 Qui patruos patrui monstret adulterium.

LXXVIII.

OF GALLUS.

Gallus hath brothers in pair, this owning most beautiful consort, While unto that is given also a beautiful son. Gallus is charming as man; for sweet loves ever conjoins he, So that the charming lad sleep wi' the charmer his lass. Gallus is foolish wight, nor self regards he as husband, 5 When being uncle how nuncle to cuckold he show.

Gallus has brothers, one of whom has a most charming spouse, the other a charming son. Gallus is a nice fellow! for pandering to their sweet loves, he beds together the nice lad and the nice aunt. Gallus is a foolish fellow not to see that he is himself a husband who as an uncle shews how to cuckold an uncle.

LXXVIIII.

Lesbius est pulcher: quid ni? quem Lesbia malit Quam te cum tota gente, Catulle, tua. Sed tamen hic pulcher vendat cum gente Catullum, Si tria notorum savia reppererit.

LXXVIIII.

OF LESBIUS.

Lesbius is beauty-man: why not? when Lesbia wills him Better, Catullus, than thee backed by the whole of thy clan. Yet may that beauty-man sell all his clan with Catullus, An of three noted names greeting salute he can gain.

Lesbius is handsome: why not so? when Lesbia prefers him to thee, Catullus, and to thy whole tribe. Yet this handsome one may sell Catullus and his tribe if from three men of note he can gain kisses of salute.

LXXX.

Quid dicam, Gelli, quare rosea ista labella Hiberna fiant candidiora nive, Mane domo cum exis et cum te octava quiete E molli longo suscitat hora die? Nescioquid certest: an vere fama susurrat 5 Grandia te medii tenta vorare viri? Sic certest: clamant Victoris rupta miselli Ilia, et emulso labra notata sero.

LXXX.

TO GELLIUS.

How shall I (Gellius!) tell what way lips rosy as thine are Come to be bleached and blanched whiter than wintry snow, Whenas thou quittest the house a-morn, and at two after noon-tide Rousèd from quiet repose, wakest for length of the day? Certès sure am I not an Rumour rightfully whisper 5 * * * * * * * * * * * *

What shall I say, Gellius, wherefore those lips, erstwhile rosy-red, have become whiter than wintery snow, thou leaving home at morn and when the noontide hour arouses thee from soothing slumber to face the longsome day? I know not forsure! but is Rumour gone astray with her whisper that thou devourest the well-grown tenseness of a man's middle? So forsure it must be! the ruptured guts of wretched Virro cry it aloud, and thy lips marked with lately-drained [Greek: semen] publish the fact.

LXXXI.

Nemone in tanto potuit populo esse, Iuventi, Bellus homo, quem tu diligere inciperes, Praeterquam iste tuus moribunda a sede Pisauri Hospes inaurata pallidior statua, Qui tibi nunc cordist, quem tu praeponere nobis 5 Audes, et nescis quod facinus facias.

LXXXI.

TO JUVENTIUS.

Could there never be found in folk so thronging (Juventius!) Any one charming thee whom thou couldst fancy to love, Save and except that host from deadliest site of Pisaurum, Wight than a statue gilt wanner and yellower-hued, Whom to thy heart thou takest and whom thou darest before us 5 Choose? But villain what deed doest thou little canst wot!

Could there be no one in so great a crowd, Juventius, no gallant whom thou couldst fall to admiring, beyond him, the guest of thy hearth from moribund Pisaurum, wanner than a gilded statue? Who now is in thine heart, whom thou darest to place above us, and knowest not what crime thou dost commit.

LXXXII.

Quinti, si tibi vis oculos debere Catullum Aut aliud siquid carius est oculis, Eripere ei noli, multo quod carius illi Est oculis seu quid carius est oculis.

LXXXII.

TO QUINTIUS.

Quintius! an thou wish that Catullus should owe thee his eyes Or aught further if aught dearer can be than his eyes, Thou wilt not ravish from him what deems he dearer and nearer E'en than his eyes if aught dearer there be than his eyes.

Quintius, if thou dost wish Catullus to owe his eyes to thee, or aught, if such may be, dearer than his eyes, be unwilling to snatch from him what is much dearer to him than his eyes, or than aught which itself may be dearer to him than his eyes.

LXXXIII.

Lesbia mi praesente viro mala plurima dicit: Haec illi fatuo maxima laetitiast. Mule, nihil sentis. si nostri oblita taceret, Sana esset: nunc quod gannit et obloquitur, Non solum meminit, sed quae multo acrior est res 5 Iratast. Hoc est, uritur et coquitur.

LXXXIII.

OF LESBIA'S HUSBAND.

Lesbia heaps upon me foul words her mate being present; Which to that simple soul causes the fullest delight. Mule! naught sensest thou: did she forget us in silence, Whole she had been; but now whatso she rails and she snarls, Not only dwells in her thought, but worse and even more risky, 5 Wrathful she bides. Which means, she is afire and she fumes.

Lesbia in her lord's presence says the utmost ill about me: this gives the greatest pleasure to that ninny. Ass, thou hast no sense! if through forgetfulness she were silent about us, it would be well: now that she snarls and scolds, not only does she remember, but what is a far bitterer thing, she is enraged. That is, she inflames herself and ripens her passion.

LXXXIIII.

Chommoda dicebat, si quando commoda vellet Dicere, et insidias Arrius hinsidias, Et tum mirifice sperabat se esse locutum, Cum quantum poterat dixerat hinsidias. Credo, sic mater, sic Liber avonculus eius, 5 Sic maternus avos dixerat atque avia. Hoc misso in Syriam requierant omnibus aures: Audibant eadem haec leniter et leviter, Nec sibi postilla metuebant talia verba, Cum subito adfertur nuntius horribilis, 10 Ionios fluctus, postquam illuc Arrius isset, Iam non Ionios esse, sed Hionios.

LXXXIIII.

ON ARRIUS, A ROMAN 'ARRY.

Wont is Arrius say "Chommodious" whenas "commodious" Means he, and "Insidious" aspirate "Hinsidious," What time flattering self he speaks with marvellous purity, Clamouring "Hinsidious" loudly as ever he can. Deem I thus did his dame and thus-wise Liber his uncle 5 Speak, and on spindle-side grandsire and grandmother too. Restful reposed all ears when he was sent into Syria, Hearing the self-same words softly and smoothly pronouncèd, Nor any feared to hear such harshness uttered thereafter, Whenas a sudden came message of horrible news, 10 Namely th' Ionian waves when Arrius thither had wended, Were "Ionian" no more--they had "Hionian" become.