Chapter XLVIII

She came toward Gud with an arch smile. In fact, her smile was very arch. Her brows were also arched. But her nose was as straight as the road to Hell and her lashes were curved as the new-born moon. They were also long and drooping. Her eyes were opalescent, her complexion translucent, her forehead high, and her cheekbones low. She had a cupid's bow mouth and her lips were very ruby. Her teeth were like genuine pearls and her chin was dimpled and single.

When she spoke to Gud her voice was as musical as the song the silkworms sing.

And when Gud spoke to her, she sighed in ecstasy of lavender-scented flattery, and her eyelids drooped like languid draperies across a seacoal fire.

"I have brought my book," she murmeled as she reached into her corsage and drew forth a manuscript bound with skins of humming birds. "May I read it to you? It's title is 'Art and Wealth and Anatomy Sesame.'"

She opened the book at random--which is the proper way to open any non-fiction book written by a woman--and her voice warbled as she read:

"The lambent enoughness of atomless ultraness vegetateth for eons in ultramarine slime and thence crawleth hencely, attaining esoteric power by the sublimation of the egomania into splenetic colorature which by chemic vortices electrifying plasmic erotifcanaticism ascends to organic indefinability and multitudinous indefinity, and soareth toward the inordinate fulfillment of superconscious metapsychoses."

She of the dimpled and single chin, laid aside her manuscript and stared reproachfully at Gud. "Do you comprehend it?" she beseeched.

"Why, certainly. But what does it mean?" said Gud, who was always willing to increase his knowledge if he could do so without interfering with his previous beliefs.

"It is a new theory," replied the ruby lips, "of the conquest of anatomy. This theory is based on the hypotheses that the organ called the brain is nothing but an adventitous, radio-active tumor that yields two secretions. The external secretion is what is called the mind and the internal secretion is known as the soul. From this hypothesis there follows the tetravalent truth:

"All life is anatomy.

"All anatomy is matter.

"All matter is nothing.

"Therefore nothing matters."

"Then why bother about it?" asked Gud.

But she did not answer, for her drooping eyes had again sought the open book that lay on her dimpled knees, and her voice whippled and yodeled as she read.

"The immortal soul is destroyed by the psychic spirit.

"The psychic spirit is destroyed by the mental psyche.

"The mental psyche is destroyed by the rational mind.

"The rational mind is destroyed by the common sense.

"The common sense is destroyed by the emotion.

"The emotion is destroyed by the instinct.

"The instinct is destroyed by the physiology.

"The physiology is destroyed by the anatomy.... How do you like my eyes?"

"Very," said Gud, "for your pupils shine as unborn souls of May-green stars floating in the nebulous nonentity."

After which her butler came to say that Messrs. Confucius and Buddha were calling.