SCENE I.

_The Inn._

_Knocking without._

_Enter_ BONIFACE.

_Bon._ Coming, coming--a coach and six foaming horses at this time o'night! some great man, as the saying is, for he scorns to travel with other people.

_Enter_ SIR CHARLES FREEMAN.

_Sir C._ What, fellow! a public house, and abed when other people sleep?

_Bon._ Sir, I an't abed, as the saying is.

_Sir C._ I see that, as the saying is! Is Mr. Sullen's family abed, think ye?

_Bon._ All but the 'squire himself, sir, as the saying is; he's in the house.

_Sir C._ What company has he?

_Bon._ Why, sir, there's the constable, Mr. Gage, the exciseman, the hunch-backed barber, and two or three other gentlemen.

_Sir C._ I find my sister's letters gave me the true picture of her spouse.

_Enter_ SULLEN, _drunk_.

_Bon._ Sir, here's the 'squire.

_Sul._ The puppies left me asleep----sir.

_Sir C._ Well, sir.

_Sul._ Sir, I am an unfortunate man--I have three thousand pounds a year, and I can't get a man to drink a cup of ale with me.

_Sir C._ That's very hard.

_Sul._ Ay, sir,--and unless you have pity upon me, and smoke one pipe with me, I must e'en go home to my wife, and I had rather go to the devil by half.

_Sir C._ But I presume, sir, you won't see your wife to-night, she'll be gone to bed----you don't use to lie with your wife in that pickle.

_Sul._ What! not lie with my wife! Why, sir, do you take me for an atheist, or a rake?

_Sir C._ If you hate her, sir, I think you had better lie from her.

_Sul._ I think so too, friend----but I am a justice of peace, and must do nothing against the law.

_Sir C._ Law! as I take it, Mr. Justice, nobody observes law for law's sake, only for the good of those for whom it was made.

_Sul._ But if the law orders me to send you to gaol, you must lie there, my friend.

_Sir C._ Not unless I commit a crime to deserve it.

_Sul._ A crime! oons, an't I married?

_Sir C._ Nay, sir, if you call marriage a crime, you must disown it for a law.

_Sul._ Eh!--I must be acquainted with you, sir,--but, sir, I should be very glad to know the truth of this matter.

_Sir C._ Truth, sir, is a profound sea, and few there be that dare wade deep enough to find out the bottom on't. Besides, sir, I am afraid the line of your understanding mayn't be long enough.

_Sul._ Lookye, sir, I have nothing to say to your sea of truth; but if a good parcel of land can entitle a man to a little truth, I have as much as any he in the county.

_Bon._ I never heard your worship, as the saying is, talk so much before.

_Sul._ Because I never met with a man that I liked before.

_Bon._ Pray, sir, as the saying is, let me ask you one question: are not man and wife one flesh?

_Sir C._ You and your wife, Mr. Guts, may be one flesh, because you are nothing else----but rational creatures have minds that must be united.

_Sul._ Minds!

_Sir C._ Ay, minds, sir; don't you think that the mind takes place of the body?

_Sul._ In some people.

_Sir C._ Then the interest of the master must be consulted before that of his servant.

_Sul._ Sir, you shall dine with me to-morrow----Oons, I always thought that we were naturally one.

_Sir C._ Sir, I know that my two hands are naturally one, because they love one another, kiss one another, help one another in all the actions of life; but I could not say so much if they were always at cuffs.

_Sul._ Then 'tis plain that we are two.

_Sir C._ Why don't you part with her, sir?

_Sul._ Will you take her, sir?

_Sir C._ With all my heart.

_Sul._ You shall have her to-morrow morning, and a venison pasty into the bargain.

_Sir C._ You'll let me have her fortune too?

_Sul._ Fortune! why, sir, I have no quarrel to her fortune----I only hate the woman, sir, and none but the woman shall go.

_Sir C._ But her fortune, sir----

_Sul._ Can you play at whist, sir?

_Sir C._ No, truly, sir.

_Sul._ Not at all-fours?

_Sir C._ Neither.

_Sul._ Oons! where was this man bred? [_Aside._] Burn me, sir, I can't go home; 'tis but two o'clock.

_Sir C._ For half an hour, sir, if you please--but you must consider 'tis late.

_Sul._ Late! that is the reason I can't go to bed--Come, sir----[_Exeunt._

_Enter_ CHERRY; _she runs across the Stage, and knocks at_ AIMWELL'S _Chamber Door_. _Enter_ AIMWELL.

_Aim._ What's the matter? you tremble, child; you are frighted!

_Cher._ No wonder, sir--but, in short, sir, this very minute a gang of rogues are gone to rob my Lady Bountiful's house.

_Aim._ How!

_Cher._ I dogged them to the very door, and left them breaking in.

_Aim._ Have you alarmed any body else with the news?

_Cher._ No, no, sir; I wanted to have discovered the whole plot, and twenty other things, to your man, Martin; but I have searched the whole house, and can't find him; where is he?

_Aim._ No matter, child; will you guide me immediately to the house?

_Cher._ With all my heart, sir: my Lady Bountiful is my godmother, and I love Mrs. Dorinda so well--

_Aim._ Dorinda! the name inspires me! the glory and the danger shall be all my own----Come, my life, let me but get my sword. [_Exeunt._