Chapter 9

[Advertisement. The readers of the Tales were tired, in the former editions, with the interruption Dinarzade gave them: This defect is now remedied; and they will meet with no more interruptions at the end of every night. It is sufficient to know the design of the Arabian author who first made this collection; and for this purpose we retained his method in the preceeding nights.

There are of these Arabian Tales where neither Scheherazade, Sultan Schahriar, Dinarzade, or any distinction by nights, is mentioned; which shows that all the Arabians have not approved the method which this author has used, and that a great number of them have been fatigued with these repetitions. This, therefore, being reformed in the following translation, the reader must be acquainted that Scheherazade goes on always without being interrupted.]

THE STORY OF THE THREE CALENDERS, SONS OF KINGS; AND OF THE FIVE LADIES OF BAGDAD.

In the reign of the caliph Haroun Alraschid, there was at Bagdad, the place of their residence, a porter, who, notwithstanding his mean and laborous business, was a fellow of wit and good-humour. One morning, as he was at a place where he usually plied, with a great basket, waiting for employment, a young handsome lady, covered with a great muslin veil, came to him, and said with a pleasant air, Hark ye, porter, take your basket, and follow me. The porter, charmed with those few words pronounced in so agreeable a manner, took his basket immediately, set it on his head, and followed the lady, saying, "O happy day, a day of good luck!"

The lady stopped presently before a gate that was shut, and knocked: a Christian, with a venerable long white beard, opened the gate, and she put money into his hand, without speaking one word; but the Christian, who knew what she wanted, went in, and in a little time after brought a large jug of excellent wine. Take this jug, says the lady to the porter, and put it in your basket. This being done, she commanded him to follow her; and as she went on, the porter says still, "O happy day! this is a day of agreeable surprise and joy!"

The lady stopped at a fruit-shop, where she bought several sorts of apples, apricots, peaches, quinces, lemons, citrons, oranges, myrtles, sweet basil, lilies, jessamine, and some other sorts of flowers and plants that smell well; she bid the porter put them all into his basket, and follow her. As she went by a butcher's stall, she made him weigh her twenty-five pounds of his best meat, which she ordered the porter to put also in his basket.

At another shop, she took capers, cucumbers, and other herbs preserved in vinegar; at another she bought pistachios, walnuts, small nuts, almonds, kernels of pine-apples, and other fruits; and of another she bought all sorts of confections. When the porter had put all these things into his basket, and perceiving, that it grew full, My good lady, says he, you ought to have given me notice that you had so much provision to carry, and then I would have got a horse, or rather a camel, to have carried them; for if you buy ever so little more, I shall not be able to carry it. The lady laughed at the fellow's pleasant humour, and ordered him still to follow her.

Then she went to a druggist, where she furnished herself with all manner of sweet-scented waters, cloves, musk, pepper, ginger, and a great piece of ambergris, and several other Indian spices; this quite filled the porter's basket, and she ordered him to follow her. They walked till they came to a magnificent house, whose front was adorned with fine columns, and which had a gate of ivory: there they stopped, and the lady knocked softly.

While the young lady and the porter staid for the opening of the gate, the porter had a thousand thoughts: he wondered that such a line lady should come abroad to buy provisions; he concluded she could not be a slave, her air being too noble for that, and therefore he thought she must needs be a woman of quality. Just as he was about to ask her some questions upon that head, another lady came to open the gate, and appeared so beautiful to him, that he was perfectly surprised, or rather so much struck with her charms, that he was like to let the basket fall, for he had never seen any beauty that came near her.

The lady, who brought the porter with her, perceiving his disorder, and the occasion of it, diverted herself with it, and took so much pleasure to examine his looks, that she forgot the gate was opened. Upon this, the beautiful lady says to her, Pray sister, come in, what do you stay for? Do you not see this poor man so heavy loaded, that he is scarcely able to stand under it?

When she entered with the porter, the lady who opened the gate shut it, and all three, after having gone through a very fine porch, came into a very spacious court encompassed with an open gallery, which had a communication with several apartments on a floor, and was extremely magnificent. There was at the further end of the court a sofa richly adorned, with a throne of amber in the middle of it, supported by four columns of ebony, enriched with diamonds and pearls of extraordinary size, and covered with satin embroidered with Indian gold, of admirable workmanship. In the middle of the court there was a great fountain faced with white marble, and full of clear water, which fell into it abundantly out of the mouth of a lion of brass.

The porter, though very heavily loaded, could not but admire the magnificence of the house, and the excellent order that every thing was placed in; but that which particularly captivated his attention was a third lady, who seemed to be a greater beauty than the second, and was set upon the throne just now mentioned: she came down from it as soon as she saw the two former ladies, and advanced towards them: He judged, by the respect which the others showed her, that she was the chief, in which he was not mistaken. This lady was called Zobeide, she who opened the gate was called Safie, and Amine was the name of her who went out to buy the provisions.

Zobeide says to the two ladies, when she came to them, Sisters, do not you see that this honest man is like to sink under his burden? why do not you ease him of it? Then Amine and Safie took the basket, the one before and the other behind; Zobeide also lent her hand, mid all three set it on the ground, then emptied it; and when they had done, the beautiful Amine took out money, and paid the porter liberally.

The porter, very well satisfied with the money he had received, was to have taken up his basket and be gone; but he could not tell how to think on it. Do what he could, he found himself stopped by the pleasure of seeing three such beauties, who appeared to him equally charming; for Amine, having now laid aside her veil, was as handsome as either of them. That which surprised him most was, that he saw never a man about the house; yet most of the provisions he brought in, as dry fruits, and several sorts of cakes and confections, were fit chiefly for those who could drink and make merry.

Zobeide thought at first that the porter staid only to take his breath; but perceiving that he staid too long, What do you wait for, says she, are you not well enough paid? And turning to Amine, says, Sister, give him something more, that he may depart satisfied. Madam, replies the porter, it is not that which stays me. I am over and above paid; I am sensible that I am unmannerly to stay longer than I ought, but, I hope you will be so good as to pardon me, if I tell you that I am astonished to see that there is no man with three ladies of such extraordinary beauty; and you know that a company of women without men is as melancholy a thing as a company of men without women. To this he added several very pleasing things to prove what he said, and did not forget the Bagdad proverb, 'That one is never well at a table, unless there be four in company. And so concluded, that as there were but three, they had need of a fourth.'

The ladies fell a laughing at the porter's discourse, after which Zobeide says to him, very gravely, Friend, you are a little too bold; and though you do not deserve that I should enter into particulars with you, yet I am willing to tell you we are three sisters, who do our business so secretly that nobody knows any thing of it. We have too great reason to be cautious of acquainting indiscreet persons with it; and a good author that we have read, says, 'Keep your secret, and do not reveal it to any body.' He that reveals it is no longer master of it. If your own breast cannot keep your secret, how do you think that another person will keep it?

My ladies, replies the porter, by your very air I judged at first you were persons of extraordinary merit, and I conceive that I am not mistaken; though fortune has not given me wealth enough to raise me above my mean profession, yet I have not failed to cultivate my mind as much as I could by reading books of science and history: And allow me, if you please, to tell you, that I have also read in another author a maxim which I have always happily practised: 'We do not conceal our secrets, says he, but from such persons as are known to all the world to want discretion, and would abuse the confidence we put in them; but we make no scruple to discover them to prudent persons, because we know they can keep them.' A secret with me is as sure as if it were in a closet whose key is lost, and the door sealed up.

Zobeide, perceiving that the porter did not want sense, but conceiving that he had a mind to have a share in their treat, replies to him, smiling, You know that we are about to have a treat, and you know also that we have been at a considerable expense, and it is not just that you should have a share of it without contributing towards it. The beautiful Safie seconded her sister, and says to the porter, Friend, have you never heard that which is commonly said, "If you bring any thing with you, you shall be welcome; but if you bring nothing, you must get you gone with nothing?"

The porter, notwithstanding his rhetoric, must, in all probability, have retired in confusion, if Amine had not taken his part, and said to Zobeide and Safie, My dear sisters, I conjure you to let him stay with us; I need not tell you that he will divert us, you see well enough that he is capable of that: I must needs tell you, that unless he had been very willing, as well as nimble, and hardy enough to follow me, I could not have done so much business in so little time; besides, should I repeat to you all the obliging expressions he made to me by the way, you would not he surprised at my protecting him.

At these words of Amine, the porter was so much transported with joy, that he fell on his knees, kissed the ground at the feet of that charming person, and, raising himself up, says, Most beautiful lady, you began my good fortune to-day, and now you complete it by this generous action; I cannot enough testify my acknowledgment of it. As to what remains, my ladies, says he, addressing himself to all the three sisters, since you do me so great honour, do not think that I will abuse it, or look upon myself as a person who deserves it. No, I shall always look upon myself as one of your most humble slaves. When he had spoken these words, he would have returned the money he had received; but the grave Zobeide ordered him to keep it. That which we have once given, says she, to reward those who have served us, we never take again.

Zobeide would not take back the money from the porter, but said, My friend, in consenting that you stay with us, I must forewarn you, that it is not only on condition that you keep secret what we have required of you, but also that you observe exactly the rules of good manners and civility. In the mean time the charming Amine put off the apparel she went abroad with, put on her night-gown, that she might be more easy, and covered the table, which she furnished with several sorts of meat, and upon a sideboard she set bottles of wine and cups of gold. Soon after the ladies took their places, and made the porter sit down by them, who was overjoyed to see himself at the table with three such admirable beauties. After they had ate a little, Amine, who sat next the sideboard, took up a bottle and cup, filled out wine, and drank first herself, according to the custom of the Arabians; then she filled the cup to her sisters, who drank in course as they sat; and at last she filled it the fourth time to the porter, who, as he received it, kissed Amine's hand, and, before he drank, sung a song to this purpose: That as the wind brings along with it the sweet scents of the perfumed places through which it passes, so the wine he was going to drink, coming from her fair hands, received a more exquisite taste than what it had of its own nature. This song pleased the ladies so much, that each of them sung another in their turn. In short, they were extraordinary merry all the time of dinner, which lasted a long while, and nothing was wanting that could make it agreeable. The day being almost spent, Safie spoke in the name of the three ladies, and says to the porter, Arise, and be gone; it is time for you to depart. But the porter, not willing to leave so good company, cried, Alas! ladies, whither do you command me to go in the condition I am in? I am quite beside myself by what I have seen since I came hither, and having also drank above my ordinary, I shall never find the way home: Allow me this night to recover myself in any place where you please, for no less time is necessary for me to come to myself; but, go when I will, I shall leave the best part of myself behind me.

Amine pleaded a second time for the porter, saying, Sisters, he is in the right; I am pleased with the request; he having already diverted us so well; and if you will take my advice, or if you love me as much as I think you do, let us keep him to pass away the remaining part of the night. Sister, answered Zobeide, we can refuse you nothing; and then, turning to the porter, said, We are willing once more to grant your request; but upon this new condition, that whatever we do in your presence, relating to ourselves or any thing else, take heed that you do not once open your mouth to ask the reason of it; for if you ask questions about that which does not belong to you, you may come to know that which will be no way pleasing to you: Beware, therefore, and be not too curious to dive into the motives of our actions.

Madam, replies the porter, I promise to observe this condition with such exactness, that you shall have no cause to reproach me with the breaking of it, and far less to punish my indiscretion; my tongue shall be immovable on this occasion, and my eye like a looking-glass, which retains nothing of the object that is set before it. And to show you, says Zobeide, with a serious countenance, that what we demand of you is not a new thing among us, rise up and read what is over our gate in the inside.

The porter went thither, and read these words, written in large characters of gold: 'He who speaks of things that do not concern him, shall hear of things that will not please him.' Returning again to the three sisters, Ladies, says he, I give you my oath that you will never hear me speak any thing which does not concern me, or wherein you may have any concern.

This agreement being made, Amine brought in supper, and after the room was set round with tapers that were mixed with aloes and ambergris, which gave a most agreeable scent, as well as a delicate light, she sat down at table with her sisters and the porter. They began again to eat and drink, to sing and repeat verses. The ladies took pleasure to inebriate the porter, under pretext of causing him to drink their healths; and abundance of witty sentences passed on both sides. In short, as they were all in the best humour in the world, they heard one knocking at the gate.

When the ladies heard the knocking, they all three got up to open the gate; but Safie, to whom this office did particularly belong, was the nimblest; which her other two sisters perceiving, sat down till she came back to acquaint them who it could be that had any business with them so late. Safie returning, said, Sisters, we have here a very fine opportunity to pass a good part of the night with much satisfaction, and if you be of the same mind with me, we shall not let it slip. There are three calenders at our gate, at least they appear to be such by their habit; but that which you will most wonder at is, they are all three blind of the right eye, have their heads, beards, and eye-brows shaved, and, as they say, are but just come to Bagdad, where they never were before; and it being night, and not knowing where to find any lodging, they happened by chance to knock at this gate, and pray us, for the love of Heaven, to have compassion on them, and receive them into the house: They care not what place we put them in; provided they may be under shelter, they would be satisfied with a stable. They are young and handsome enough, and seem also to be men of good sense; but I cannot, without laughing, think of their pleasant and uniform figure. Here Safie fell a-laughing so heartily, that it put the two sisters and the porter into the same mood. My dear sisters, says she, are you content that they come in? it is impossible but, with such persons as I have already described them to be, we shall finish the day better than we began it; they will afford us diversion enough, and put us to no charge, because they desire shelter only for this night, and resolve to leave us as soon as day appears.

Zobeide and Amine made some difficulty to grant Safie's request, for reasons they knew well enough; but she having so great a desire to obtain this favour, they could not refuse. Go then, says Zobeide, and bring them in, but do not forget to acquaint them that they must not speak of any thing which does not concern them, and cause them to read what is written over the gate. Safie ran out with a great deal of joy, and in a little while after returned with the three calenders in company.

At their entrance they made a profound bow to the ladies. who rose up to receive them; told them most obligingly that they were very welcome, that they were glad to have met with an opportunity to oblige them, and to contribute towards relieving them from the fatigue of their journey, and at last invited them to sit down with them.

The magnificence of the place, and the civility of the ladies, made the calenders to conceive a mighty idea of their fine land-ladies: But, before they sat down, having by chance cast their eye upon the porter, whom they saw clad almost like one of those other calenders with whom they are in controversy about several points of discipline, because they neither shave their beards nor eye-brows, one of them said, Look here, I believe we have got one of our revolted Arabian brethren.

The porter, though half asleep, and having his head pretty warm with wine, was affronted at these words; and, with a fierce look, without stirring from his place, answered, Sit you down, and do not meddle with what does not concern you. Have you not read the inscription over the gate? Do not pretend to make people live after your fashion, but follow ours.

Honest man, says the calender, do not put yourself into a passion; we should be very sorry to give you the least occasion; but, on the contrary, we are ready to receive your commands. Upon which, to avoid all quarrels, the ladies interposed, and pacified them. When the calenders were set at table, the ladies served them with meat; and Safie, being most pleased with them, did not let them want for drink.

After the calenders had ate and drunk liberally, they signified to the ladies that they had a great desire to entertain them with a concert of music, if they had any instruments in the house, and would cause them to be brought them. They willingly accepted the proffer, and fair Safie, going to fetch them, returned again in a moment, and presented them with a flute of her own country fashion, another of the Persian sort, and a tabor. Each man took the instrument he liked, and all the three together began to play a tune. The ladies, who knew the words of a merry song that suited that air, joined the concert with their voices; but the words of the song made them now and then stop, and fall into excessive laughter.

At the height of this diversion, and when the company was in the midst of their jollity, somebody knocks at the gate; Safie left off singing, and went to see who it was. But, sir, says Scheherazade to the sultan, it is fit your majesty should know why this knocking happened so late at the ladies' house, and the reason was this: The caliph Haroun Alraschid was accustomed to walk abroad in disguise very often by night, that he might see with his own eyes if every thing was quiet in the city, and that no disorders were committed in it.

This night the caliph went out pretty early on his rambles, accompanied with Giafar his grand vizier, and Mesrour the chief of the eunuchs of his palace, all disguised in merchants' habits; and passing through the street where the three ladies dwelt, he heard the sound of the music, and great fits of laughter; upon which he commanded the vizier to knock, because he would go in to know the reason of that jollity. The vizier told him in vain that it was some women a merry-making; that, without question, their heads were warm with wine; and that it would not be proper he should expose himself to be affronted by them; besides, it was not yet an unlawful hour, and therefore he ought not to disturb them in their mirth. No matter, said the caliph, I command you to knock. So it was that the grand vizier Giafar knocked at the ladies' gate by the caliph's order, because he himself would not be known. Safie opened the gate, and the vizier perceived, by the light that she held in her hand, that she was an incomparable beauty. The vizier acted his part very well, and, with a very low bow and respectful behaviour, said, Madam, we are three merchants of Moussol, who arrived about ten days ago with rich merchandise, which we have in a warehouse at a khan, or inn, where we have also our lodging. We happened to-day to be with a merchant of this city, who invited us to a treat at his house, where we had a splendid entertainment; and the wine having put us in humour, he sent for a company of dancers; night being come on, and the music and dancers making a great noise, the watch came by in the mean time, caused the gate to be opened, and some of the company to be taken up; but we had the good fortune to escape by getting over a wall. Now, says the vizier, being strangers, and somewhat overcome with wine, we were afraid of meeting another, or perhaps the same watch, before we got home to our khan, which lies a good way from hence. Besides, when we come there, the gates will be shut, and not opened till morning; wherefore, madam, hearing, as we passed by this way, the sound of music, we supposed you were not yet going to rest, and made bold to knock at your gate, to beg the favour of lodging ourselves in the house till morning; and if you think us worthy of your good company, we will endeavour to contribute to your diversion what lies in our power, to make some amends for the interruption we have given you; if not, we only beg the favour of staying this night under your porch.

While Giafar held this discourse, fair Safie had time to observe the vizier and his two companions, who were said to be merchants like himself, and told them that she was not mistress of the house; but, if they would have a minute's patience, she would return with an answer.