Chapter 8

It was about three in the afternoon that, to her great surprise, she saw Miss Clegg returning. There was something altogether new and strange in the gait of the latter while she was at a distance, and as she drew nearer Mrs. Lathrop's eyes and mouth opened together. The nearer that Susan drew the more provocative of astonishment was her general appearance. To sum up the whole state of the case in as few words as possible, I will say that she seemed to have barely survived some hitherto totally unknown species of catastrophe. Mrs. Lathrop, much overcome, ran to the door and cried,--

"Come over! I've got the kettle--"

"I was comin' anyhow," Susan called feebly back, and wearily dragging herself through the gate, along the walk, and up the steps, sank down finally in one of the kitchen chairs.

Mrs. Lathrop hastened to fortify her with hot tea and gingerbread. She ate and drank in silence for some time, only volunteering, as she took the third cup,--

"I ain't had nothin' since I left home."

"Didn't you find your--" Mrs. Lathrop began eagerly.

"Cousin?" said the traveller, in a tone that suggested revelations as yet unrevealed,--"oh, yes, Mrs. Lathrop, I found my cousin."

Mrs. Lathrop felt herself to be silenced, and spoke no more. Miss Clegg drank all the tea and ate all the gingerbread. Then, when there was nothing else left to do, she declared herself satisfied, and fixing her gaze mercilessly upon the quaking listener, discharged her first shot.

"I wish I'd never gone!"

This statement was made with a vigor that supported its truth in full. Mrs. Lathrop quivered slightly, and waited breathlessly to hear more.

"I wish I'd never gone, 'n' for the future, Mrs. Lathrop, I'll thank you to never so much 's breathe a relation anywhere near me, for I've had enough family to-day to last me from here to Gabriel 'n' his trumpet, 'n' 'f I ever forget this hour may I die in that one."

Mrs. Lathrop gasped.

Susan coughed and gripped her hands tightly together.

"Mrs. Lathrop, the Bible says 's we may never know what a day 'll bring forth, 'n' 'f I'd 'a' known that this day was gettin' ready to hatch such a Cousin Marion 's I found, I certainly would 'a' spent it some other way. When I think o' the cheerful lovin' spirit 's I pinned my wave on in, 'n' then reflect on what I pinned it on to, I can't but feel 't if I ain't a fool I 'd ought to be one, 'n' I can't say nothin' stronger for the way I feel. They say 's the Devil 's the father o' lies, but it's a slander. The Devil is a floatin' angel by the side o' that letter 's I found. It was a lie, Mrs. Lathrop, a lie from first to last, 'n' it makes my blood run cold to think o' all the years that I lived right underneath it 'n' never 's much 's dreamed o' the iniquity up in that old trunk over my head."

Mrs. Lathrop gasped again.

"Mrs. Lathrop, I never had it in me to conceal nothin' from you. We've been good friends 'n' true through thick 'n' thin, through my father 'n' your son 'n' every other species o' Heaven-sent infliction, f'r years 'n' years 'n' years. 'N' now I ain't goin' to shut you out o' the inside truth o' this awful day. You see me set off this mornin' bright 'n' beamin', 'n' you see me come home this night burnin' 'n' bitter, 'n' it's nothin' but right's you sh'd be fully took in to the betwixt 'n' between. It'll mebbe be a lesson to you some day if anythin' sh'd come up 's led you to look to be extra happy all of a sudden, 'n' you'll remember this hour 'n' jus' firmly go back into the house 'n' shut the door 'n' say, 'Life's a delusion 'n' a snare, like Susan Clegg's Cousin Marion.' It's better for you to learn the lesson 's all is vanity now, than to wait 'n' have it fall on your head like a unexpected pickle-jar, the way 's this day 's fell on mine."

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes grew big.

"Mrs. Lathrop, in the first place I started out all wrong. Knoxville ain't on this line a _tall_. It's on the A. 'n' B., 'n' only the junction is on this line. Mrs. Lathrop, don't you never trust yourself to no junction in this world o' sin 'n' sorrow, whatever else you may in your folly see fit to commit. My experience c'n jus' 's well be a warnin' to you too, f'r I was put off three miles from where there ain't no omnibus, 'n' I had to leg it over a road 's is laid out three hills to the mile. I ain't one 's is give to idle words, but I will remark 't by the time I'd clum the fourth hill I hadn't no kind o' family feelin's left alive within me, 'n' when I did finally get to Knoxville I was so nigh to puffed out 't I c'd hardly find breath to ask where Cousin Marion _did_ live. It was a boy skippin' rope 's I asked, 'n' he never quit skippin' for one second out o' politeness. Seems he was doin' a thousand steady on a bet, 'n' I'm free to confess 's I felt pretty foolish askin' questions 'n' his rope like to catch on my nose every other word. I finally made out, though, 's Cousin Marion lived out the other end o' town, 'n' so I walked on till I come to the road. Mrs. Lathrop, it was another road o' hills, 'n' I must say 's the sight made my blood run cold for the third time in one day. F'r a minute I thought seriously o' jus' takin' a train away ag'in 'n' lettin' Cousin Marion fiddle alone f'r another fifty years, f'r I give you my word o' honor, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I was 'most dead, 'n' Lord only knows what made me keep on, f'r what came after was enough to shake my faith in the Lord forever 'f I really believed 's any one but Cousin Marion had one word to say in the matter. But I was raised to finish up all things 's is begun, 'n' I snapped my teeth tight together 'n' set out over them extra hills with all the resignation 's I c'd scrape up f'r the need o' the moment. I was hot inside 'n' hot outside, but I'd made up my mind to see the thing through 'n' so I pegged right along.

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f I was on the witness stand with Bibles above 'n' below, I c'd n't but swear 's it was two miles 'f it was a cent. 'N' even then they was a long two miles. I was on my very last legs when I got there, 'n' nothin' 't I see revived me none. Mrs. Lathrop, the awfullest old tumble-down house 's ever you see--pigs in the yard, 'n' 'Prim' on the gate-post! 'N' me standin' pantin' for breath, 'n' related to 'em all!"

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes grew bigger and bigger.

"There was a old man a-sittin' on a chair on the porch in one boot 'n' one slipper 'n' a cane. He looked 't me 's if it 'd be nothin' but a joy to him to eat me up alive 'n' jus' relish to gnaw the bones afterwards. You c'n maybe realize, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I wasn't no ways happy 's I walked a little piece up towards him 'n' said 's I 'd like to see my cousin, Marion Prim. He give such a nod 's seemed 's if his head 'd fly off, 'n' I took it 's she was somewhere near 'n' a-comin'. So, 's I was all used up, I jus' started to sink right down on the steps to wait for her.

"Oh, my soul 'n' body, that minute!--The awful shock!--Oh, Mrs. Lathrop! you never in all your life dreamed such a yell 's he give! I like to 'a' went deaf! I jumped worse 'n 'f I 'd been shot stone-dead. Wild whoopin' Indians was sleepin' babes beside him. 'Not on my steps!' he shrieked, poundin' with his cane 'n' shakin' with his fist,--'not on my steps,' he howled louder 'n all below,--'not while I 'm alive!--not while I c'n prevent!--not while I c'n help it!--no Clegg sits afore me, not now 'n' not never!' You c'n imagine, Mrs. Lathrop, 's I didn't get very far to sat down under them circumstances. I trembled all over, 'n' I backed off quite a little ways 'n' looked at him. He kept chokin' 'n' gaspin' 'n' purple 'n' swallowin', 'n' after a while I got up courage to ask him where Cousin Marion was. 'N' then--oh, Mrs. Lathrop!--'n' then--well, honest, I thought's he was goin' to bust!--'n' then, 'I'm Cousin Marion!' he yelled right in my face,--'I'm Cousin Marion, Susan Clegg!' 'n' at that, Mrs. Lathrop, I went so faint in my knees 'n' so rumbly in my ears 't you c'd 'a' clubbed me with a straw 'n' gagged me with a wisp o' hay that minute. I jus' stood starin', 'n' you c'n believe me or not just's you please, but I never was so nigh to fallen over backwards in all my life before. I c'd feel cold drops like water on a duck's back, 'n' my senses was that mixed 't 'f you'd told me 's my heels was in my hair I wouldn't 'a' doubted you. I d'n' know 's I ever was scared in all my life afore, but when he screamed them awful words, my very insides got clammy. I c'd n't say a livin' word, I c'd n't make a livin' move; I c'd only stand 'n' shake 'n' listen, 'n' him keepin' on yellin' 'n' poundin' like mad.

"'Susan Clegg,' he screamed, 'Susan Clegg,'--'n' he kep' poundin' harder 'n' harder 'n' gettin' redder 'n' redder every minute,--'Susan Clegg, I'm glad you've come; I've wanted you to come; I've wanted you to come f'r a long time. I did n't know who it'd be, but I 've been wantin' somebody to come 'n' been waitin' f'r 'em to come f'r fifty years 'n' more too. I've been holdin in f'r fifty years! I've been thinkin' what I wanted to say f'r fifty years! Now I c'n say it! Now I c'n be happy sayin' it! I wish it was your father's ears a-shiverin' there afore me, but yours 'll do.'

"My heavens alive, Mrs. Lathrop, you'd ought to 'a' seen him! He went from red to purple 'n' from purple to mos' black, 'n' his eyes stood right out, 'n' he shook his cane right in my face 'n' screamed loud enough to set the dead jumpin'.

"'Susan Clegg, your father was a shark! Susan Clegg, your father was a skinflint! Susan Clegg, your father was a miser! Susan Clegg, your father was a thief!' 'n' all this with me where I c'dn't but hear, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' he must 'a' known it too. 'Susan Clegg, I was a young man in difficulties,' he says, ''n' I wanted a hunderd dollars bad,' he says, ''n' 'f I'd had it I c'd 'a' bought into a nice business 'n' married a nice girl with a nice property 'n' made this place blossom like a wilderness 'n' seen the fig-trees o' my fig-trees sittin' in my shade. 'N' I went to your father, 'n' I told him all the inmost recesses o' my heart o' hearts,' he says, ''n' 'xplained to him how 'n' why 'n' wherefore the business c'dn't but pay, 'n' then took him to see the girl 'n' p'inted out all her good p'ints, 'n' then asked him to lend me the hunderd dollars, 'n' hired a livery horse 'n' drove him home to think about it. 'N' what followed after, Susan Clegg,'--oh, Mrs. Lathrop, I never see the like o' the way he suddenly swelled 'n' blued right then!--''n' what come next? I waited the wait o' the innocent 'n' trustin' for one long 'n' unremittin' week, 'n' then, when I was nigh to mad with sittin' on red-hot needles by day 'n' by night without let or hindrance, what did he answer?--what did he answer to him 's laid in the hollow o' his hand, confidin' fully 'n' freely in his seein' what a good investment it 'd be? What did he answer, Susan Clegg? He answered 's he c'd n't do it, 'n' 's it was n't no possible use whatever to ask him again! Susan Clegg, I smashed a winder,' he says, 'right then 'n' there,' he says, ''n' I writ a letter 'n' it must 'a' been that letter 's you found, f'r I never writ him no other afore or after. 'N' then I went West to make my fortune 'n' I did n't make no fortune, but I got my hands on a hunderd dollars 'n' I come home lickety-split to buy that business 'n' marry that girl. I went first to see about the business 's it was right 'n' natural 't I sh'd, 'n' what did I find, Susan Clegg, what did I find?' Mrs. Lathrop, I never see the like in all my days, born or unborn. I thought he'd yell my head off. 'I found your father'd bought the business, my business, 'n' I was left out in the freezin', icy cold! Susan Clegg, I smashed a table,' he says, ''n' two chairs,' he says, ''n' I went to see the girl 'n' ask her to wait a little longer,--'n', Fire 'n' Brimstone 'n' Saltpetre, 'f your father hadn't gone 'n' married the girl,--my girl!

"''N' there was all below to pay,' he says, ''n' I vowed bloody murder,' he says, ''n' they had me up 'n' bound me over to keep the peace, 'n' then they moved away. 'N' I sat down to wait f'r my vengeance,' he says, ''n' I've waited fifty years,' he says. 'I've spent fifty years grindin' my teeth 'n' whettin' the edge o' my fury, 'n' now--'

"Mrs. Lathrop, I didn't wait to hear no more. I didn't feel like I had strength to. I run. 'N', heavens, _how_ I run! I lit out like I was paid for it, 'n' I bet I clum every last one o' them hills 's fast on the up 's the down. When I got to the station there was a train jus' pullin' out f'r I didn't know where, 'n' I hopped aboard like I was shot. It took me to Meadville, 'n' I had to pay the 'xtra fare 'n' wait two hours to get another back here, 'n' I ain't really half through shakin' yet."

Susan stopped, took out her handkerchief and carefully passed it over her brow as one who strives to brush away tormenting visions.

Mrs. Lathrop sat mute and motionless, completely overwhelmed by the recital of her friend's tragic story.

After a few minutes Miss Clegg put her handkerchief back in her pocket and turned a sad and solemn, yet tender look upon her companion.

"Lord knows I'm done with relations from this day on," she said slowly but with great distinctness. "I feel like hereafter I'll be content with jus' you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I can't say nothin' stronger f'r what I've jus' lived through."

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes filled with gratitude at this compliment.

But she said nothing.

V

THE MINISTER'S VACATION

Mrs. Lathrop had been unable to attend the usual Friday afternoon Sewing Society on account of her pickling. She had completely forgotten what day of the week it was until she had picked all of a dozen cucumbers and it was then too late to stay the tide of events. The pickling had to go forward, and one of the best listeners in the Sewing Society was forced to remain away in consequence.

"I guess you'll have to go a--" she called across the open space between their kitchen doors when she saw Susan putting on her black mitts in the window about two o'clock,--the hour at which they usually sallied forth in company.

"Alone," Susan called back--"well, I should say 't I am goin' alone. 'F you c'u'd see yourself this minute, Mrs. Lathrop; you'd easy understand 't even 'f you wanted to go no one in their senses 'd be able to go with you f'r fear o' bein' took for a lunatic."

Mrs. Lathrop glanced dubiously down over herself.

"I spilt--" she began apologetically.

"I c'n see it from here," said Susan, "'n' 's long 's we're on the subjeck I want to remark right now 't, with the wind settin' the way it 's blowin' to-day, I don't want you to burn nothin' while I'm gone. 'F you'll excuse my bein' so open with you, Mrs. Lathrop, I'll say 't a woman in your circumstances ought not to waste nothin' by burnin' it anyhow, 'n' 'f she does do anythin' so foolish no woman in my circumstances 'd ought to have her house all smelled up."

"I ain't goin'--" began the neighbor.

"That reminds me 't I am," rejoined she of the black mitts; and so saying, she quitted the window and was presently seen departing down her front walk,--a pleasing object in a bonnet of the jetted era and a shawl of no date whatever.

Mrs. Lathrop divided her afternoon between active service over the vinegar kettle and long rests of delicious unconsciousness in the kitchen rocker. Her temperament was not one which wore itself out in vain regrets over what might have been, and then too she knew that Susan was at the meeting and from Susan she would learn all that might there transpire. About half-past five she began to glance out of the window which looked furthest down the street, and some ten minutes later her watching was rewarded by the sight of Miss Clegg and another lady approaching slowly. An animated conversation appeared to be in progress between the two, and at the gate of Mrs. Lathrop's dearest friend they made a long halt while the latter appeared to be laying down some form of law with uncommon vigor and pointing its points off with her knitting, which she waved about in a manner unwontedly reckless.

Mrs. Lathrop--having not only spilt more during the afternoon, but also been twice the victim of what is technically known as "boiling over"--felt quite unable to make a third at the gate party, and so was forced to masticate her impatience and hover in the window until Susan turned at last and came up her walk.

"Can you come--" then called the eager waiter.

"Not till after I get my supper," the other replied.

Mrs. Lathrop sighed, and forced herself to further patience. It was all of seven when Miss Clegg finally came over.

"I'll sit on the steps," she announced. "Bein' 's we're such friends, Mrs. Lathrop, I may 's well say right here 'n' now 't I would n't sit down in your kitchen this night for no money. I'd carry the spots till I died most likely 'n' have no one but myself to blame f'r it. You may not thank me f'r sayin' it to your face, but it isn't in me to deceive so much 's a water-bug, 'n' 'f I live to be a hunderd I c'd never forget seein' you make a chocolate cake once. I c'd make a chocolate cake 'n' a king might eat off o' my cuffs 'n' collar when I was through, but what surprised me about your chocolate cake, Mrs. Lathrop, was 't you did n't get into the oven with it in the end, for I'll take my Bible oath 's you had 's much on you 's on any pan."

"We c'n sit on the--" said Mrs. Lathrop pleasantly.

"I 'm sittin' there already," said the caller, "'n' whenever you get ready to listen I 'll tell you about this afternoon, for it was the most interestin' meetin' 't we've had since Mrs. Jewett's leg come off to her chair 'n' she run the crochet-hook so far in--you recollec'?--'n' the doctors didn't know which way to pull it out. Young Dr. Brown was for pushin' it on through 'cause the hook would catch 'f he drawed it out on the crochet principle, 'n' old Dr. Carter said it wouldn't do to put it through 'cause it was a fancy Chinese thing 't old Captain Jewett's father brought from China 'n' there was a man's head on the other end with his mustache makin' two crochet-hooks, one each side."

"What did--" said Mrs. Lathrop.

"Don't you remember?--Mrs. Jewett come to 'n' told 'em 't the middle was for needles 'n' 't all they had to do was to unscrew it 'n' take it out opposite ways, 'n' then she fainted, 'n' then they did, 'n' no one thought of there bein' needles in it, 'n' they fell out 'n' she had shootin' pains from havin' 'em in her for ever so long. Mrs. Macy was sayin' only the other day 't to her order o' thinkin' Mrs. Jewett died o' the darnin'-needles. She says she was forever grabbin' herself somewhere with a sudden yell, 'n' no matter what the doctors said it was jus' them needles, 'n' no sensible person 's saw her actions could doubt it. Mrs. Macy says it was a awful lesson to her against keepin' loose needles in screw things,--she says 't her son sent her a egg from the World's Fair with every kind of needle in it, but she wasn't takin' no chances, 'n' she took them needles right out 'n' put buttons in instead."

"I remember she died," said Mrs. Lathrop thoughtfully, "but I--"

"It don't matter," said Susan. "My, but it's hot! It's been awful hot this week, 'n' this afternoon it was all but bilin' down there in that little parlor o' Mrs. Craig's. I was f'r sittin' on the porch, but Gran'ma Mullins rocked off a porch once 'n' she was f'r sittin' where she couldn't rock off nothin'. I said she could sit on the grass, but she was fussy about that too--said a poison-spider bit her foot once 'n' she had it come on reg'lar every year f'r seven years after. I come nigh to feelin' put out, but Mrs. Sperrit spoke up just then 'n' asked 'f we'd any of us noticed how terrible worn the minister's wife was lookin' 'n' didn't we think 't he'd ought to have a vacation? It was that 't made the meetin' so interesting f'r in all the years 't we've had the minister no one ever thought o' givin' him a vacation afore, 'n' when you think how long we've had him 'n' how steady we've gone to church as a consequence, I must say 't I think 't it's more 'n surprisin' 't we didn't give him a vacation long ago. I must say, though, 't my first idea was 't it was a curious thing to give the minister a vacation so as to rest his wife, although I d'n' know 's we could do any thin' kinder for her 'n to get rid of him f'r a spell. Then too, to my order o' thinkin', our minister ain't really ever in need o' no rest, and 'f he needs a change my say would be 'Set him to work.' I said all that to 'em all down there, 'n' Mrs. Sperrit went on then 'n' said 't her idea was f'r 'em both to go, so 's we could all sort o' take a breathin' space together. I agreed with her about the breathin,' f'r I don't believe no other minister 'n ours ever had thirteen children born in the same house, 'n' I'm free to remark 't if a new minister did n't always sit so solid for new wall-paper 'n' the cistern cleaned out, I'm pretty sure 't the last half-dozen childern 'n' his second wife would certainly have found themselves bein' born elsewhere. 'N', such bein' the case, I don't blame no man f'r wantin' a little free time, 'n' so I joined in, 'n' Mrs. Allen moved 't we all unbutton our collars 'n' discuss the matter, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins took off her cap 'n' we begun right then 'n' there. Mrs. Brown said 't if they was a-goin' now was a very good time 'cause the baby was a year old, 'n' I said 't I c'd agree with her there 'cause if we waited till next summer the baby might be only a month old or maybe only a week old--f'r I must say 't so far 's my observation 's extended there never is no countin' on how old a minister's baby 's goin' be 't any given time. Gran'ma Mullins interrupted me 'n' said 't if we'd excuse her she'd go below her collar 'n' unbutton her top button 'cause her cousin bought it ready-made 'n' all she could tell the clerk was 't she was seventy-three years old 'n' so perhaps it was only natural 't it should bind a little in the neck. 'N' so she did, 'n' then she moved her head around till she was sure she was all free 'n' then she said, ''N' now as to them childern?' It was kind of a shock, for no one had thought about the childern 'n' Mrs. Craig said pretty feeble-like 't it wouldn't be no rest to send the minister's wife off with thirteen childern, 'n' I spoke up pretty sharp 'n' asked what kind of a rest the town 'd get if them thirteen childern was left behind. I c'd see 't I'd hit the nail on the head _then_, jus' by the way 't they all waited to get a drink afore going any further."

Miss Clegg stopped and drew a deep breath.

Mrs. Lathrop looked anxious, not to say fearful.

"It was Mrs. Sperrit as begun again," the narrator continued presently. "Mrs. Sperrit said why not divide the children up among us all 'n' each take one, 'n' she looked to be talkin' sense till they started dividin', 'n' then it turned out 't naturally every one wanted the big easy ones 'n' no one wanted Augustus. I was dreadful uneasy myself for fear 't I'd be 'xpected to take Brunhilde Susan on account o' her hind half bein' named for me, but I didn't have to worry long, for Mrs. Allen said 't she'd take Brunhilde Susan 'cause Polly's tended Brunhilde Susan so much 't she knows just what Brunhilde Susan 'll stand 'n' Brunhilde Susan knows just what Polly 'll stand. So Brunhilde Susan was fixed, but every one else was all upset 'n' undecided, 'n' it was plain 't nothin' wouldn't work, so Mrs. Macy up 'n' proposed 't they put all but the baby in a sugar-bowl 'n' shake 'em up 'n' draw.