Part 5

It was a name that I knew--a name that everybody knew. Hiram P. Van Schuyler was a millionaire--a railroad king. It puzzled me to think what he could want in seeking the acquaintance of a revolutionist. Did he desire to buy me over to constitutional causes? If so----

"'There is some mystery here,' I said to myself, 'and I will probe it to the bottom.'

"So out of curiosity, rather than from any higher motive, I decided to keep the appointment which Mr. Van Schuyler had made.

"His offices occupied the whole of an enormous block of buildings; his own private room was on the highest floor. An elevator carried me up to it, a clerk showed me in, and Mr. Van Schuyler shook me warmly by the hand.

"'Glad to see you. Take a seat, Mr.----'

"'Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski,' I explained.

"'That's so. I think you were saying that you're in favour of revolutions?'

"I had not, in fact, said anything of the kind; but as he had said it for me, I replied--

"'My services--such as they are--have always been at the disposition----'

"'That's the notion, sir. Now, I'm going to make you a square offer.'

"Now, I was quite sure that he wished to bribe me to abandon my political opinions, and I prepared an appropriate reply. But I had no use for it.

"'My offer is--subject, of course, to certain conditions,' Mr. Van Schuyler continued--'to put up the dollars for a revolution in the Republic of Nicaragua.'

"Once more I breathed freely; and Mr. Van Schuyler proceeded to explain, as coolly as though he were discussing the most simple matter of business routine.

"'You see, it's this way. There are concessions to be had in Nicaragua, and I want the handling of them--concessions for railroads, concessions for gold-mining, concessions for street-lighting, and plenty more. The existing Government does not see its way to offer me sufficiently remunerative terms. Therefore, the existing Government has to go, and my nominee has to be elected President. If he can see his way to being elected Emperor, so much the better. The main thing is that, after election, he must afford me the necessary facilities for developing the resources of the country. Possibly there is no money in those resources; but that doesn't matter. There's money in the concessions, and I mean getting them. The question is, therefore: Will you accept my nomination to the Nicaraguan Presidency? Don't decide in a hurry. Think it over carefully for two minutes while I write a letter, and then let me know.'

"During the allotted interval I turned the matter over carefully in my mind.

"'Your proposal is of a somewhat unusual character,' I said.

"'If it were usual, there wouldn't be money in it,' Mr. Van Schuyler answered; and the argument impressed me favourably.

"'Then I am willing to act for you,' said I.

"'Then we'll consider it fixed up,' said he. 'Go home and draft your plan of action, and drop round again this time to-morrow. In the meantime, don't go gassing about it in the saloons, or Jacob Van Tine'll get hold of the notion and put up a rival nominee.'

"I swore that I would be as silent as the grave.

"'Right,' said Mr. Van Schuyler. 'Good afternoon, Mr.----'

"'Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski,' I prompted.

"'That is so. Good afternoon, sir.'

"So we shook hands again and I departed to mature my schemes; for there was much to be thought over and little time for thinking.

"'I will be methodical,' I said to myself, 'and begin at the beginning. First of all, I must find out where is Nicaragua, and how one gets there--whether by rail or steamer. Some further particulars as to the population, and national defences, and the present political condition of the country, will also be of service to me. They will know these things at the State Library. I will go there and inquire. But I will be careful not to divulge my secret to the librarian. Doubtless it will suffice to make him communicative if I throw out mysterious hints.'

"Then I rode down to the Library on the cars, and though I made only the most obscure references to the delicate mission with which I was entrusted, all the vast resources of the establishment were instantly placed at my disposal. In the course of a couple of hours I had probed the question to the bottom, and by the time of my next appointment with Mr. Van Schuyler was thoroughly master of my subject.

"'I have discovered,' I told him, 'that the Republic of Nicaragua contains more than a quarter of a million of inhabitants.'

"'The precise number, according to the last census, was 259,800,' said Mr. Van Schuyler. 'Fire ahead.'

"'I calculate that an army of ten thousand trustworthy volunteers----

"'Would eat up all my margin of profit and a bit more besides. Try again.'

"'I was about to say, when you interrupted me,' I proceeded, 'that such an army was obviously out of the question. On the other hands, I should have no confidence in any smaller army. Consequently----'

"'Consequently, you're going to turn up the job?'

"I drew myself up proudly in my indignation.

"'No, sir,' I replied. 'Your suggestion shows that you do not know Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski.'

"'What, then?'

"'I propose to go to Nicaragua alone, trusting to the operation of that law of Nature which, in a troubled country, invariably brings the strong man to the front.'

"Mr. Van Schuyler's face brightened.

"'Can you start right now?' he asked.

"'I can,' I answered.

"'Then I'll open you a credit of fifty thousand dollars in the bank of Nicaragua to go on with. Take another fifty thousand dollars in bills on New York, in case you need them. When you want to cable, use my private code, which I'll give you. That's all, I think.'

"It was a great undertaking, was it not, to overthrow the Government of a republic with no other weapon than my strength of character? Yet I was confident of success--so much so that, feeling that secrecy no longer mattered, I brightened my journey to San Francisco by discussing my prospects with a fellow passenger.

"He was a big, burly man, red-bearded, tanned by the sun, attired in corduroy breeches and a blue serge shirt, and he told me that he passed by the name of Colorado Charlie. If I had desired a lieutenant to aid me in any daring enterprise, he was the very type of man I should have chosen; and as I was resolved to go alone, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to confide in him.

"'I am as brave as you are, but more cunning,' I said to him. 'Mark my words and you shall see. Like Joshua, I will blow my own trumpet, and the wall shall fall down flat. I am Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski.'

"'Stranger,' he responded cordially, 'I cotton to you. It sounds a one-sided arrangement, and rather rough on the Nicaraguans; but I take it that in the hour of victory you will be merciful as you are strong.'

"'I will,' I cried enthusiastically.

"'In that case, sir,' said Colorado Charlie, 'I will, with your permission, call for drinks, and we will lower them together in honour of your enterprise.'

"So he called for Bourbon whisky and persuaded me to drink it raw. Raw Bourbon whisky burns the throat, but comforts the stomach and unties the tongue. Until the bottle was empty I talked freely of Nicaraguan affairs. When I had finished it I fell asleep, and when I awoke I found that my companion had descended at a wayside station, leaving me alone, a sufferer from a splitting headache.

"As for the further incidents of my journey, I need not trouble you with them, for they were of no importance. There was a certain delay at San Francisco while I waited for a steamer; and the boat, when it started, travelled slowly and pitched more than I liked. Ultimately, however, I reached Managua, the capital of the country and the seat of the government which I had undertaken to overthrow with no other force than my unaided strength of character. I put up at the best hotel, where I made a favourable impression by engaging the best apartments and--contrary to my usual habit--paying for them in advance. Then I visited the bank, established my identity, furnished an example of my signature, and provided myself with a large book of cheques payable to bearer. Then I dined sumptuously, and after dinner began my campaign by summoning the landlord to my presence. In private life he was, I believe, a colonel in the army; but in his public capacity he stood before me with obsequious bows and smirks.

"'Senor Landlord,' I said to him, 'will you be kind enough to tell me the exact name of the President of this Republic?'

"He told me. It was a long name--longer even than my own--but the essential part of it was Don Juan.

"'Then, Senor Landlord,' I proceeded, 'will you kindly send a boy round to the Palace with my compliments--the compliments of Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski--to say that it will give me great pleasure if the President will step round and smoke a cigar.'

"The landlord smiled, and shrugged his shoulders, and looked the picture of despair.

"'Alas! milord, it is impossible,' he answered. 'It is now three months since the President last went outside the Palace gates.'

"'How, then? Is he ill?' I asked sympathetically.

"'It is not that, milord. It is that when he shows himself, the leaders of the constitutional party shoot at him. They are bad marksmen, it is true; but the President fears that, as there are so many of them, one of them, by accident, might hit him.'

"I reflected, and, with the instinctive rapidity of genius, formed a plan.

"'In that case,' I said, 'you may inform the President that I propose to do myself the honour of calling upon him in the morning.'

"'But the President receives no one,' replied the landlord. 'It is now two months since he received anyone. When he found that so many visitors only called for the purpose of attempting to assassinate him, his Excellency decided that it would be better to give up receiving them.'

"Once more I meditated. Evidently there was a good deal of dissatisfaction felt with the existing Nicaraguan Government. The discovery quieted any qualms that might otherwise have hampered my attempt to overthrow it. It also showed me that one way of making a revolution there would be to take a side and lead it to victory; but I preferred the more manly course of independent action.

"'Then you need say nothing to the President,' I told the landlord. 'I will call upon him unannounced and take my chance of finding him.'

"'Of course milord will drive. Will four horses be sufficient for milord?' the man inquired.

"I told him I should need no horses, but should go on foot. He looked disappointed, having doubtless intended to charge me heavily for the hire of horses; but I cheered him up by writing him out a cheque payable to bearer. It was a negotiable instrument little used by Nicaraguans, and it was a part of my plan to familiarise them with the fact that the bank would hand money over the counter in exchange for them. When, early the next morning, I looked out of my window and saw my landlord in the centre of the _plaza_, attired in his military uniform, hugging a bag of silver dollars to his breast, and explaining the nature of the transaction to an animated group of fellow-citizens, my confidence in the scheme which I had devised rose high.

"'An ass laden with gold captured cities in ancient Greece,' I said to myself. 'Shall not a man carrying a cheque-book be able to do as much in modern Nicaragua?'

"I waited patiently, smoking my cigar, while the reputation of the cheque-book spread itself through the city. Then I wrote out a number of other cheques for various sums, all payable to bearer, and, putting on the evening dress and the white kid gloves which are usual for visits of ceremony, walked over to the Palace, where the President resided. As I had expected, I found the entrance barred by a couple of sentinels who were playing cards and smoking cigarettes.

"'Is the President at home?' I asked them politely.

"They sprang to their feet, thrust their cigarettes between their teeth, took up their rifles, and pointed their fixed bayonets truculently towards my stomach.

"I calmed them with a friendly gesture.

"'I mean your President no harm; and, as a token of the integrity of my purpose, I would like to present you with these little cheques. You will observe that they are payable to bearer.'

"The men took the slips of pale green paper, and looked carefully at them, at me, and at each other. Smiles came out upon their faces and gradually broadened into grins. With slow and deliberate movement they leant their rifles up against the walls, and then, without a word of explanation, or even of thanks, they started together at the double for the bank.

"'It is a good beginning,' I said to myself, and walked on up the Palace garden to the front door.

"Two other sentinels were on guard here; and they also were smoking cigarettes and playing cards. To them, too, I handed cheques with a few sympathetic words, and had the satisfaction of seeing them run off, like happy children, in chase of their fellow-soldiers.

"'We are making progress,' I said to myself, and passed on unimpeded into the entrance-hall.

"There, various servants--first footmen in livery, and then cooks and housemaids--came out and crowded round me. I had expected it and I was prepared. The cheques to bearer, as I have told you, were already filled up and signed. It was only the work of a minute to sit down at a table, tear them out of the book, and push them into the eager, outstretched hands. The reputation of my cheques to bearer had reached them perhaps a quarter of an hour before. They snatched them from me, and, without waiting to put on their hats, men, women, and even boys, started off in rapid procession down the street towards the bank.

"Once more I was alone. But not for long. The noise made by my rapid distribution of cheques had evidently been overheard. A door opened and there issued from it a little man in a magnificent scarlet uniform, with magnificent white plumes in his cocked hat.

"'_Carramba_! Who are you, and what are you doing here?' was his ferocious greeting.

"I advanced towards him courteously.

"'I am Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski,' I answered, gently but firmly. 'May I, in my turn, inquire to whom I have the honour of speaking?'

"'_Carramba_! I am the General Montojo del Rio Grande del Norte, Minister of War to the Republic of Nicaragua,' he retorted, laying his hand upon his sword.

"In defence I laid my hand upon my cheque-book.

"'The honour is entirely mine,' I said. 'In evidence of the pleasure which I feel in making your acquaintance, you will perhaps permit me to present you with this small cheque. You will perceive that it is an open cheque for 2,000 dollars, made payable to bearer.'

"For the first time in the course of my adventure I experienced a rebuff.

"'_Carramba_!' the War Minister repeated for the third time, and flung my cheque scornfully on the floor and trampled on it, half drawing his sabre from the scabbard.

"But I was a match for him.

"'Pardon me,' I said. 'I see I have given you the wrong cheque by mistake. This was the cheque that I intended for you. It is payable to bearer, like the other, but it is for the sum of 5,000 dollars.'

"General Montojo del Rio Grande del Norte took the cheque from me and examined it; he picked up the first cheque from the floor and examined that also; Then he stuffed both cheques into his pocket and said abruptly--

"'Excuse me! I have an important appointment, and I must go and keep it.'

"And he turned on his heel with dignity and left me. A minute later I caught another glimpse of him through one of the windows. He was running--I never saw a man run so fast.

"'I think I may take it that that fixes the price of a Cabinet Minister at 5,000 dollars. The other 2,000 dollars were of the nature of a windfall which the rest will not expect.'

"Scarcely had I said it when the hall was full of Cabinet Ministers, who had apparently broken up a Cabinet Council in order to come and look for their colleague. I received them with _empressement_, and cut short their demand for explanations by the immediate production of my cheque-book. I gave cheques for 5,000 dollars each to the Minister of the Interior, the Minister for Foreign Affairs, the Finance Minister, the Minister of Education, and the Minister of Agriculture; and as they warmly shook my hand I added--

"'No doubt you would like to go and cash your cheques at once. Pray do not stand on ceremony.'

"And they did not stand; they ran. Not being in uniform, they ran, I fancy, faster even than General Montojo del Rio Grande del Norte, the War Minister himself.

"In this way, by my force of character, and my knowledge of human nature, I had at last cleared my path of obstacles. Nothing but a door now stood between me and a private interview with the President. I knocked, and was answered with the usual--

"'Come in!'

"As I had expected, the President was surprised to see me. He wore many orders and decorations; but his face had a tired and haggard look, and he shrank visibly, as though he expected me to strike him. It was an obvious relief to him when I sat down and commenced a friendly conversation.

"'Fear nothing,' I said. 'I am Jean Antoine Stromboli Kosnapulski, and I shall not assassinate you unless it is absolutely necessary.'

"Perceiving that he was at my mercy, he bowed his head with all the dignity that he could muster and waited for me to proceed.

"'I conjecture, sir,' I went on, 'that it is less for your pleasure than for your profit that you have assumed the onerous position of President of this Republic.'

"He opened his eyes wide. My candour evidently puzzled him. He did not seem to know whether to take offence at it or not.

"'If my impression is correct,' I continued, 'we have already found the basis of an arrangement which will be equally satisfactory to both of us. Do not beat about the bush, but confide in me frankly. Tell me, as nearly as you can, what the Presidency is worth to you, and I will see what sort of an offer I can make you for it.'

"His face exhibited a strange mixture of emotions, his first impulse being to ring the bell for his servants to eject me.

"'It is useless,' I explained. 'All the members of your household, and all the members of your Cabinet, have gone to the bank to cash the cheques which I have given them.'

"The President spoke for the first time.

"'Really,' he said, 'this is a very extraordinary situation.'

"'Try to realise it,' I replied, 'and avail yourself of the advantage which it offers you.'

"'I am not quite sure,' he objected, 'that I grasp your Excellency's meaning.'

"I explained myself in greater detail, and had the satisfaction of seeing gleams of intelligence flash in rapid succession across his features. It was my desire, I pointed out, to become President of the Nicaraguan Republic instead of him; and I was willing to pay him (in hard cash) not only reasonable, but even generous, compensation for disturbance. And I concluded, laying my hand in a friendly, and almost fatherly, fashion on his shoulder--

"'Come, now, speak to me, as between man and man. Tell me how much you are expecting to make out of it?'

"At last I had coaxed him into giving me his confidence.

"'It isn't the salary that's of importance,' he said, 'but there are certain perquisites.'

"'So I had imagined,' I interposed encouragingly.

"'I get a commission of ten per cent. on the salaries of the Cabinet Ministers; and there are other commissions--tax-collectors have to pay me for their appointments, and there's always a little something to be made by pardoning political offenders. As fast as the money comes in, I send it to London to lie as deposit in the Bank of England. On the whole, I'm doing pretty nicely, but I haven't saved enough yet. Still, it's a wearing life. There's a certain amount of discontent about; and though our social reformers aren't very good marksmen as a rule----'

"'How much?' I interrupted, for his elaborate explanations were beginning to pall upon me.

"'I think I might say 50,000 dollars,' replied the President of Nicaragua.

"To his amazement, I did not haggle, but produced New York bills for the amount and spread them on the table.

"There,' I said. 'Now tell me what is the next step to be taken, according to the constitution of the country.'

"He took pen and ink, and a sheet of paper, and wrote something.

"'This,' he explained, 'is a decree, appointing you Provisional President during my indisposition, and announcing that there will be a _plebiscite_ to elect my successor on Sunday next. In the meantime, if you cultivate the friendship of the Minister for War----'

"'Certainly. I will give him another cheque payable to bearer,' I interposed.

"'In that case he will send soldiers to see that the result of the _plebiscite_ is favourable to you.'

"'And this decree?'

"'Shall be sent to the Government printers at once, and placarded in the course of half an hour. In the meantime, as I see that the members of my household are now returning from the bank, I trust that your Excellency, the Provisional President, will have lunch with me.'

"Need I say that I accepted the invitation. It was a magnificent meal, served in a large and stately dining-hall. I sat at the head of the table, with the ex-President on my right and the War Minister on my left. It was, perhaps, the supreme moment of my life--the moment when I attained the zenith of my earthly fortune. But alas for the mutability of human beings!

"We lunched at leisure like epicures, slowly enjoying the flavour of the soup, the fish, the cutlets, the poultry, and the salad. In two hours' time we had arrived at the dessert without any untoward incident; but just as we had got to the bananas and the sweet champagne, we heard the loud noise of a disturbance outside the Palace walls--a noise of firearms and of vigorous human voices.

"I looked inquiringly at the ex-President.

"'Excuse me,' he said. 'I have left my handkerchief upstairs, and I will go and fetch it.'

"He rose and vanished, and I turned to the Minister for War.

"'Your Excellency will excuse me,' he said. 'This is a matter which requires my immediate attention.'

"And he also rose and disappeared in the direction of the back door.

"So I sat alone in the great dining-hall and awaited the intruders as calmly as the Roman senators in olden times awaited the invasion of the Gauls. My arms were folded and I hugged my cheque-book to my bosom.

"The noise came nearer, there were heavy footsteps in the hall, the door burst open, and the strangers entered.

"Imagine my consternation! They were Americans--serge-shirted, corduroy-breeched desperadoes from California, and their leader was no other than my old friend, Colorado Charlie, he to whom I had confided the secret of my plans when I made his acquaintance in the train. They advanced, firing their guns as they came, picking off the glass pendants of the chandeliers, as though to keep their hands in or test their accuracy of aim. Colorado Charlie, however, signalled to them to stop, and stepped up and spoke to me, saying simply--

"'Game's up, sonnie. You've got to git.'

"I still sat on my carved mahogany chair, like the Roman senator in the story, waiting for the Gaul to pluck his beard. Colorado Charlie continued--

"'Seems you've been making a revolution for Van Schuyler. I'm here to make a revolution for Van Tine. Our methods were diverse, but our object was the same. First it was you that came out on top, and now it's me. I ain't goin' to shoot unless compelled, and if you git at once, I'll give you a free passage back to Frisco'.