Part 4

_A._ The Desire I had to see _Religions_, and _Fashions_: And now it comes in my head. Did you ever see my _Grounds and Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy_?

_Q. Was That Yours then?_

_A. Mum_; betwixt friends. But I shall have a touch ere long at the _Creed-making Rascal_ there.

_Q. Who's that?_ Athanasius?

_A._ The very same. What a _Declaration_ is there?

_Q. But how d'ye like the Kings Declaration?_

_A. Not at all. Not at all._ It runs so much upon the _Arbitrary_, and the _Prelatick_? Yes, and upon something else too.

_Q. Come, 'Faith we should not part with dry lips, What d'ye think of one_ Roomer _now to the Health of? (Hark, and I'le tell ye.)_

_A._ I'le drink no _Traitors_ Health.

_Q. Why prethee what is_ Civilly-Drinking _his Health, more then_ Dutifully Praying _for't_?

_A._ No: I am of the mans mind that said, I _hope the Devil will have him; and if there be any punishment in Hell greater then another_, I _hope the Devil will tear his soul to pieces_. So Farewell.

_Q. What a Blessed sort of_ Subjects _and_ Christians _are these, that value themselves in the_ One Capacity, _for their_ Contempt _of_ Authority: _And in the_ other, _for the Zeal of Flying out into_ Blasphemys, _and_ Execrations, _instead of_ Prayers? _But what shall_ I _call this at last? A_ Romantique, _or an_ Historical Observator?

_London_, Printed for _Johanna Brome_, at the Gun in S. _Pauls_ Church-yard.

=Numb.= 110

THE OBSERVATOR.

In _DIALOGUE_.

=SATURDAY=, March 11. 1681.

_WHIG._ Come; I'le shew ye my _study, Tory_.

_TORY._ Why you have got a Brave _Library_ here.

_Wh._ For a _Choice Collection_, let me tell ye, as any is in _Christendom_.

_To._ You have all the _Greek_ and _Latin Fathers_, I suppose; the _Councells_, the _Schoolmen_, and those People.

_Wh._ I had'em all; but there's a great deal of _Trash_; and so I e'en rid my hands of'em; though some of'em did pretty well too; considering those _Dark Times_. Now here can I sit as _Snug_ as a _Hare_ in her _Form_, and Chat away a Winters Evening with a _Good Fire_, a _Pipe_, and a _Friend_, and never feel how the time spends.

_To._ Well! And why should not You and I keep our _Conferences_ here too?

_Wh._ Best of all: There's no body within hearing; and then we have our _Books_ and _Papers_ about us, and all in such Order, that I'le lay my Finger, Blindfold, upon any book you'le call for.

_To._ But what Subject are they mostly of?

_Wh._ Matters of _State, History, Travells_, The Rights and Power of the _People, Reformation, Religion, Discipline, Admonitions, Remonstrances, Petitions, Appeals_; as ye see'em mark'd upon the Shelves. But all this is nothing, you'l say, when y'ave seen my _Gallery_. Open that same Door before ye.

_To._ Bless me! What a Treasure's here?

_Wh._ Look ye now. That side is all _News-Books,_ and _Political Divinity_.

_To._ You mean _Polemical_ Divinity I suppose.

_Wh._ Ay Ay; 'Tis all one for that. Now all to'ther side is _Dissenting Protestants_; as _Cartwright, Brown, Barrow, Robinson_, _Hetherington, Trask, Naylor, Best, Biddle, Muggleton_. And here are your _Muncerians, Apostoliques, Separatists, Catharists, Enthusiasts, Adamits, Huttites, Augustinians, Libertines, Georgites, Familists, Ranters Seekers, Sweet-Singers, Antinomians, Arrians, Socinians, Millenaryes, Quakers_: And in Two words; all the _Godly Party_. They make Fourteen Folio's of Catalogue.

_To._ But ha'ye no _Manuscripts_?

_Wh._ Yes I have Three cases there beyond the Chimny, that I wou'd not change for _Bodlies Library_ three times over.

_To._ What do they treat of?

_Wh._ Two of 'em are altogether upon the _Art of Government_, and the _Third_ is Cramm'd with _Lampoon_ and _Satyr_. You sha'not name me any one Copy that has scap'd me; nor any Exigent of State; but I'le furnish ye out of these Papers with an Expedient for't.

_To._ And wherein does this _Art of Government_ Consist?

_Wh._ In _Foresight, Experience, Presence of Thought, Prudence of Direction_, and _Vigour of Execution_. To be short; Every Motion of the _Head_, the _Eye_, the _Hand_, the _Foot_, the _Body_. Contributes a part to this Great Work.

_To._ Is it a Science that may be Convey'd by _Instruction_?

_Wh._ With as much Ease as _Fencing_, or _Dancing_. There are Three or Four _Dissenting Academies_ here about the Town, where People are taught to _Nod, Wink, Gape, Cough, Spit_; Nay the very _Tuning_ of their _Hum's_ and _Haw's_, by _Rule and Method_; when to _Smite the Breast_, and when to _Dust the Cushion_; when to _Leap_ in the _Pulpit_, and when to _Swim_; when to be _Serene_, and when to _Thunder_: Nay the _Faces_ they are to make at every _Period_; and the very _Measure_ of their _pauses_; that the _Parenthesis_ may be large enough for the _Groans_, & _Ejaculations_ of the _Secret ones_ to _Play_ in; they are taught to Pray for the _King_ with _One Tone_ and _Countenance_, and for the _Parliament_ with _another_.

_To._ I have Observ'd them indeed to Cry with a Loud Voice, _Lord! strengthen the Hands of the One_, & then to drop the Note into a kinde of a Piping whisper, with a _Lord! Turn the Heart of the Other_; which is as much as to say, _Alas! the Poor Gentleman is out of his way, and we must set all hands at work to bring him to comply with his_ Parliament, _though that_ Handy work, _at last, bring his_ Royall Head _to the_ Scaffold.

_Wh._ If you wou'd not be a _Rogue_ now and tell tales, I could let ye in to the whole _Popular Mystery_; and shew ye the _Folly_, and the _Vanity_ of any other Claim to _Sovereign Power_. And then _I_ have all the _Prints_ brought me as soon as ever they come out.

_To._ Pre'thee let's fall to work then.

_Wh._ Come, I'le give you a sight of one of my _Boxes_ first; but I must be gone in a quarter of an hour upon absolute Necessity.

_To._ Well! And whether in such hast?

_Wh._ There's One at _Newington_ has promis'd me an _Answer_ to the _Dissenters Sayings_; and then I am told of a _Godly Divine_ at _Clapham_, that has a _Reply_ ready to the _Notes upon College_.

_To._ Let's make the best of our time then. Stay a little; what have we here?

_Wh._ Every thing is _Titled_, ye see, ready to your hand; so that you may Pick and Chuse.

_To._ Let me see then. _Pious Frauds; Mentall Reservations; Infallibility of the Assembly; Baxters Saints; Cases of Conscience; Dispensations, Contributions, Maxims, Intelligence, Orders, Committees, Juryes, Caballs, Religion, Property, Demands, Proposals, Grievances, Pretences, Salvo's, Distinctions, Explanations, Projects, Directions, Advices, Resolutions, Invectives, Fictions, Forms of Reproaches_, suited to _All Persons, Orders_, and _Qualities; True-Protestant Privileges_; The _Doctrine_ of _Probabilityes_, and _Implicit Obedience_.

_Wh._ Now upon all these Heads, ye have _Authoritys, Precedents_; and all the _Colours, Arguments_, and _Elucidations_ that the matter will bear.

_To._ But your _Pious Frauds, Mentall Reservations, Infallibility, Dispensations, Salvo's, Distinctions, Probabilityes, Implicit Faith_; These are all _Popish Points_.

_Wh._ They are so, when they are apply'd to the service of the Church of _Rome_: but the _True Protestant-Cause Sanctifies_ the _Principle_. As there's a great difference betwixt the _Popes Excommunicating_ of an _Hereticall Prince_; and the _Generall Assemblys Excommunicating_ of an _Antichristian, Episcopall Prince_; betwixt a _Popish Gunpowder-Treason_, in the _Cellers, under_ the _Parliament-House_; and a _Gunpowder Commission_ to _Kill_ and _Slay_ within the _walls_ of the _Same House, above ground_; though to Carnal Eyes they may both appear to _Center_ in the same _Point_: And so in like manner, betwixt a _Conspiracy_ of _Papists_ to _cut off the King_, and _Subvert the Government_; and a _True-Protestant-Association_, to the very _same Effect_: Nay with this Advantage too; that the Latter Propounds the Accomplishing of that, in a matter of a _month_ or _six weeks_, which the Zeal of their Fore-fathers was at least _Ten_, or a _dozen years a doing_.

_To._ 'Tis a Great Ease for a man to have all these Subjects _Common-Plac'd_ to his hand.

_Wh._ Right. And where you may turn to any thing you have a mind to see, with a _wet Finger_.

_To._ But Pray'e How do you approve (in many of our _Seisures_) of the _Application_ of _Popish Trinkets_ to _Prophane Uses_, which were by them Dedicated to the service of a _Superstitious Religion_?

_Wh._ You cannot Imagine, though an _Embroder'd Cope_ may be an _Abomination_, what a _Cordial the Pearl_ of it is to a _True-Protestant Professor. Lambs-Wool_ drinks no way better then out of a _Chalice_. Or in other Cases; 'Tis but Destroying the _Popish Form_ of an _Idolatrous Vessell_, and the _Intrinsick Value_ is never the less _Current_ according to the _Standard_ of the _Reformation_. The _Picture_ of the _Blessed Virgin_, with our _Saviour_ in her Arms, is never a jot the worse for _sale_ to a _Painter_, for being an object of _Idolatry_ about the _Altar_.

_To._ And yet I have seen it Committed to the _Flames_, but it has been an Oversight, betwixt the _Zeal_ and the _Ignorance_ of the _Magistrate_. How many _Curious Crucifixes_, and _Reliques_, with _Delicate Inlayings_, and _Carvings_ have I seen Expos'd at _Gill_ the _Constables_ in _Westminster_; truly, at very _Reasonable Rates_?

_Wh._ Not unlikely; but then ye must know, they were _Seiz'd_ in _One Capacity_, and _sold_ in _Another_; for they were _vended_ in the Contemplation of the _Workmanship_, though they were _taken_ as the _Fooleries_ of a _False Religion_. We have in our days seen the _Representation_ of the _Trinity_, Demolish'd in a _Church-Window_, with Extraordinary _Zeal_ and _Approbation_.

_To._ Why truly I am as much against the making of any _Image_ or _Figure_ of _God the Father_ under the _Form_ of a _Man_, as any body; for _Twenty Mistakes_ and _Inconveniencies_ that may arise upon the Consideration of such an _Object_; but I know no hurt in the world in the Representing of our _Saviour_ under a _Human shape_; or of the _Holy Ghost_ under the shadow of a _Dove_: beside that the thing is presum'd to have been done by _Authority_; for otherwise, the same _Zeal_ that Destroys but the _Window_ of the _Church_, would not stick at the Destroying perhaps of every thing else that belongs to't. But prethee tell me One thing, suppose the _Blessed Trinity_, so Represented, should be the _Seal_ of an _Ancient_ Community, or _Society_ of men, what's the difference betwixt that _Figure_, in _Graving_, or in _Nealing_; in _Silver_, or in _Glass_? Would not you as much _scruple_ the putting of that _Seal_ to a _Lease_, as the _seeing_ of that _Figure_ in a _Church-Window_?

_Wh._ No; by no means; for the _One_ is Purely a _Civil Act_; and the _Other_ has a Regard to _Religious Worship_.

_To._ And yet this _Image_, or _Pretended Resemblance_, is the _same thing_ in the _One_, as it is in the _Other_. Well! I am Extremly pleas'd with this Private Corner for Liberty of Discourse.

_Wh._ Here you may have all the _Papers_ as they come out, _Fresh and Fresh_: All the _Arguments_, and _Politiques_ of the _Dissenting Party_; Chuse _your own Theme_, Take _your own Time_, and Treat upon _your own Conditions_.

_To._ That's as fair as any Mortall can wish; So that when the day does not afford other matter to work upon, we may Look a little more narrowly into the _Merits_ of the _Cause_. And so much for that. But here let me ask ye a Question: Do you know a _Little Cause-Jobber_ yonder somewhere about _Kings-street, in Covent Garden_?

_Wh._ Does he not use the _Christian Coffee-House_?

_To._ The very same. He was saying t'other day that _L'Estrange_ was a _Pensioner of Cromwels_; a _Papist_; and that he durst not bring his _Action_ against any man for _Calling_ him so: That he was a _Rogue_; a _Fidler_; Liv'd in _Covent-Garden_ a good while, and got his _Living_ by his _Trade_; And that a _Magistrate_, not far from that place, would _Justify_ it. The Two first Points, I suppose, will be Disputed in another place: And for the _Fidler_: 'Tis well known that _L'Estrange_ liv'd Eight or Nine years in one of the _Piazza-Houses_ there; and kept _Servants_ that would have Scorn'd to have Sorted themselves with any thing so mean as this _Paltry Varlet_. But to the Business. How far will the _Privilege_ of a _True-Protestant-Whig_ Justify a _Villain_ in so many _Scandalous Lyes_?

_Wh._ So far as the _Common Good_ of the _Cause_ is more Valuable then the _single Credit_ of a _Private Person_. But what say ye now to _Curtis's Advertisement_ (in his Last _Mercury_) of _Tong's Narrative_, and _Case_; concerning _L'Estrange_, Printed for C W?

_To._ I say, 'tis _first_, a _Cheat_; for 'tis none of _Tong's Writing_; _2ly_, 'Tis _Another Cheat_; for 'twas Printed for _Langley Curtis_, with his Name to _Tongs Appointment_ for the Printing of it: Only he has Fobb'd a _New_, and a _False Title-Page_ to't. But what says Mr. _Oates_, all this while, to _L'Estranges Enformation_ against _Tonge_, in the _Shammer Shamm'd_? where that young Fellow has the Impudence to declare under his hand, the very _Foundation_ of _Oates's_ Plot to be a _Cheat_: And _I appeal to all Good Protestants for Justice upon that Scandalous Wretch_.

_Wh._ Nay, 'tis a horrible Abuse, and really the man stands in's own light: What was't? 500 or a 1000 Pound that he recover'd of One that did not say the Hundredth part of what this comes to? The Lord Deliver me! I knew the Time when 'twas _half a Hanging-matter_ to have made the least doubt of any Branch of the Hellish Plot: But for this Audacious Fool to say in Expresse Terms, that [_the_ Four Jesuites Letters, _wherein_ Oates _pretended was the whole Discovery, were_ Counterfeits] is utterly Intolerable. I'le e'en go my ways immediately, and talk with the Doctor about it.

_London_, Printed for _Joanna Brome_, at the Gun in S. _Pauls_ Church-yard.

Vol. 3. =Numb. 88=

THE OBSERVATOR,

_A_ Schism _a Greater Judgment then a_ Pestilence. _The_ Natural Rhetorique _of the_ Non-Cons. _The_ Danger _of them. Several_ Sorts _and_ Degrees _of Danger. Of Coming_ About, _or Coming_ Over. _The_ Cause _Transferr'd from_ Government _to_ Religion.

=Munday=, September 28. 1685.

_OBSERVATOR._ If I were the _Master_ of a _Territory_, I would as soon _Trust_ so many _Spirits_ in my _Pulpits, to Blow a Pestilence thorough my Dominions_, as so many of our _Non-Conforming Divines_; and reckon my _People_ much _Safer_ too, under the Danger of a _Plague_, then under the _Consequences_ of a _Schism_: For the _One Taints_ but the Bodies of Men; the _Other Destroys_ their very Souls; the _One_ takes them _Promiscuously_, the _Good_, and the _Bad, One_ with _Another_: But the _'Tother Marks_, and _Singles-out_ the _Best Men_ for _Ruine_, with a _Privilege_ of _Exemption_, to those that neither fear _God_, nor _Man_. The _One_ Sweeps away a Number of Single _Persons_; the _Other_ Tears to pieces the _Sinews_ of a _Community_. The _One_ does, in _some Degree_, Conduce to the _Purging_ of a _Wicked Nation_, when the _Wrath_ of _Heaven_ is _Appeas'd_ by the _Discharge_ of some _Dreadfull Judgment_ upon't; (as the _Air_ is Clear'd by _Thunder_) The _Other_ does All that is _Possible_ to the _Filling-up_ of the _Measure_ of a _Publique Iniquity_; and the making of a Land Ripe for _Vengeance_.

_TRIMMER._ Prethee what _Danger_? Or what needs this _Lashing_, when they are All Tongue-Ty'd; and Driven into _Holes_, and _Hiding-Places_, to keep out of the way of _Messengers_, and _Constables_, and out of the _Clutches_ of the _Corporation-Act_, and _Other Penal Laws_ against their _Private Meetings_?

_Obs._ What dost thou Talk of Tongue-Ty'd? Why I will undertake it; (and in _Serious Good Earnest_ too) _Gagg_ the Whole Set of'em; Give Every man his _Pulpit_, or his _Chair_, and only a Bare Standing in't; and if they do not _Wink_, and _Nod_, and _Cuff_ any Prince in _Christendom_ out of his _Dominions_, without a _Word Speaking_, I'le be thy _Bond-slave_. Why they do not do their Bus'ness, man, by the Force of _Logique, Grammar_, or by the _Dint_ of _Theology_: But by _Groans, Pangs, Tragical Ululations, Silent Interjections, Whining Apostrophes, Melting Epiphonemas_; and in a word; by the Helps of _Natural Rhetorick_, without _Need_, of either _Sense_, or _Syllables_.

_Trim._ They _Preach_, and _Pray_, without _Speaking_ then.

_Obs._ No No. They do Talk for _Fashion_-sake: But Observe it while you will; They move the _Passions_ of their _Auditory_, in the _Belfry_, or the _Church-Porch, Forty times more_ then Directly under the _Pulpit_: For the _Emphasis_ of an _Action_; a _Motion, Tone_, or _Countenance_, makes a much Deeper _Impression_, than that of a _Naked, Empty, Sound_: And for _My Part_, I fancy, it might do as well for 'em to Whistle their _Preachments_ as to Articulate them: For the _Masterpiece_, or the All in All of it, lies Mainly, in _Hitting_ the _Tune_.

_Trim._ D'ye call this Reasoning, or Ridiculing?

_Obs._ 'Tis _Both_ in _One_: For it is the _Ridiculous Truth_, and the _Just Reason, Method_, and _State_ of the _Matter_: And when People are once _Juggled_ Out _of their Wits_, they must be _Fool'd_ Into _'em again_. Now there needs no more to the doing of _That Work_, then the bare _Drawing_ of the _Curtain_, and letting People into the _Tyring-Room_. For the _Cause_, is all over, _Theatrical_: The _Actors_ are _Hypocrites_, in their _Manners_, as well as in the _Etymon_; and the whole _Manage_, fitter for a _Stage_, then a _Pulpit_. So that the most _Certain Way_ in _Nature_, for the making of the _Practice, Odious_; and the _Disabusing_ of the _Undiscerning Multitude_, is to _lay Open_ their _False Colours, Shapes_, & _Disguises_; and _Expose_ Every thing in its _Naked Simplicity_ to the _Light_.

_Trim._ And what if a man should Allow This sort of People now, to be the most _Uncouth, Hideous Monsters_ of the _Creation_? To have the _Teeth_, the _Nails_, the _Fierceness_, the _Strength_, & the _Appetite_ of the most _Ravenous_ of _Wild Beasts_? This Discourse, of _Caution_, and _Description_, might do well enough in the _Countrys_ of _Lyons_, and _Tygers_: But what's All This, to _his Majesties Dominions_, where there are either _None_ of These Creatures, _at all_, or No _Other_, at least, then such as have their _Nails Par'd_, and their _Chops Muzzled_: And no more _Danger_ of them, at present, then of our _Beeves_, and _Muttons_.

_Obs._ Dost not thou know that there are _Several_ Sorts, & Degrees of _Danger_? A man may be Wheedled into a _Precipice_, as well as Thrown into't: A man may be Hugg'd or Suck'd to _Death_, without any Biting, or Scratching in the Case: A man may be Poyson'd in his _Porridge_, as well as Strangl'd in his _Bed_: A man may have False Opinions _Impos'd_ upon him by a _Fallacy_, or _Fraud_ in _Argument_, as well as Extorted from him, by the Force of _Menace_, and _Torment_. And his Bus'ness, at last, is _done_, as Dead, _One way_ as _T'other_: And so for the Degrees of _Danger_; There's _Danger at Hand_; there's _Danger_ at a _Distance_; _Danger_ in _Design_, and _Danger_ in _Practice_; And _Danger_, in fine, through All the _Preparatory_, and _Mediate Tendencies_ to _Mischief_, to the _Last Effect_ that _Pushes_ it self forth to _Execution_.

_Trim._ Very Good! And what are All These _Sorts_, and _Degrees_ of _Danger_ to the _Instances_ we have now _Before_ us?

_Obs._ 'Tis true; The _Faction_ is not in Condition to _Attacque_ the _Government_ by _Force_: Their _Armies_ are _Scatter'd_, and their _Squadrons Defeated_; the _Whole Party_ put to their _Shifts_; and the very _Best_ of 'em, has enough to do to _save his Own Bacon_. Their _Teeth_ are _Drawn_, I'le Allow ye, All but here and there a _Stump_; And yet they'l _Pinch, Plaguily_, though they cannot _Worry_, and _Tear_: And with _Time_, and _Good Discipline_, they'l come to _Grow again_. They have the _Same Principles_ to friend, that _ever_ they had: Only they must be _Manag'd Another Way_: And there can never Want _Matter_, for _Artificial Flattery, Wheedling, Imposture_ and _Hypocrisy_, to _Work_ upon. They are not in Condition to _Advance_, at this time of the Day, in the face of the _Sun_, and of the _Government_, with their _Petticoats Flying_, under the _Auspicious Direction_ of their _Tutelary Angel, Ferguson_; and [Fear Nothing but God] for their _Motto_. But they must Supply want of _Strength_, by _Stratagem_; and _Carry-on_ their _Approches_, out of sight. 'Tis only a little more _Patience_, and the _Work_ will be brought about, as sure at the _Long-Run_, by a _Mine_, as by a _Battery_: And the _Certifying_ of _a Hundred and Fifty Perrots_ into the _Service_, and _Protection_ Of the _Government_, will be of Greater _Effect_, then the _Drawing-up_ of _Ten Thousand men in Arms_, Against it. Now _These Methods_ lye All _Open_ still, only they are somewhat more _About_. Now as to _Dangers Remote_, or _Nearer hand; Dangers_ of _Design_, or _Dangers_ of _Practice_: All the _Preparatories_, & _Dispositions_ to _Mischief_, in their _Secret Impulses_, and _Causes_, are as _Vigorous_ Now, as Ever they were, that is to say, within Two or Three Motions of a _Publique Violence_: Only This Difference in the Case, that we have _Hitherto_, been in the _Greatest Danger_ of our _Profess'd_, & _Open Enemies_: And _Now_, God bless us from our _Pretending Friends_: For all on a Sudden, the _Trimmers_ are come-up to be _Stark Church-of-England-men_; And the _Phanatiques_, gotten a _Form Higher_, into the _Seat_ or _Classes_ of the _Trimmers_.

_Trim._ Thou art _Well, neither Full nor Fasting_. Neither _Fanatique_, nor _Trimmer_, nor _Church-of-England-man_ I perceive, will please ye; The _Controversy_ of a New King; or a Common-Wealth, is _Out of Doors_; The Question of Liberty of Conscience; The _Privilege_ of _Private Meetings_ for Religous Worship; And a _Challenge_ of _Dispensation_ from the _Rites, Ceremonies, and_ Discipline _of the Church, are_ All layd aside. And All This will not serve the _Turn_ yet. Now if Men go to _Church_; Take _Tests_, make _Declarations_; And _Do_ and _Perform_ All that the _Law Requires_ of'em; where's the _Danger_ of These People I beseech ye?