SCENE III.—_The same. MRS. JONES present, R. Enter AMANDA, L.

AMANDA. Did you send for me, mamma?

MRS. JONES. Yes. I think it is necessary for us to have a consultation about our affairs.

A. (_surprised_). I thought you were getting along charmingly. I’m sure the house is full of boarders at good prices, and has been ever since we commenced. What more could you wish for?

MRS. J. Everything would be quite satisfactory if the boarders would only pay up promptly. But Mrs. Westwood and Miss Trist are the only ones that I can depend on. The butcher and baker have sent in heavy bills, and this morning I have received grocery and gas bills, as well as bills for extra furniture that was required. Then, too, a month’s rent is due for the piano in the parlor and that in Mr. Scott’s room.

A. Ask Mr. Scott for the money due you for his board.

MRS. J. I have done so repeatedly, but he has such a way of evading it that I can’t get anything. Indeed, sometimes he gets so excited that I am almost frightened, and glad enough to leave him, even without my money.

A. But surely the count has paid you.

MRS. J. Not a cent. I was to send in my bill three days ago, but before I was able to do so he asked for an interview, and said that he had been disappointed about receiving money which he expected, and asked me to wait a week longer. He seemed so sorry about it that I couldn’t help accommodating him.

BRIDGET (_entering, R._). An’ did ye take the silver, mum? I haven’t seen a sight of it since I left it on the table after cl’aning it this morning.

MRS. J. (_surprised_). I haven’t taken it away. Was the front door locked?

B. Yis, I thried that same, an’ it was locked as usual. But jist as I went to look if it was fast, the postman came, an’ brought this letter.

MRS. J. (_opening it hastily, and glancing at signature_). Why, this is from the count. (_Reads._)

“Dear Mrs. Jones: I write to let you know that I have just received the money I expected, and which I was only able to get by selling your silver, which I gathered up this morning for that purpose. As the jeweller said it wasn’t first quality, I got less than I hoped for, so I sha’n’t be able to settle my board bill at present. You will find the silver, also your daughter’s watch and rings, at the shop of Willis and Turner. Yours,

“COUNT HENRI DE FRIPON.”

A. (_excited_). What! My watch and rings. How could he have got them?

B. Oh, the murtherin villain! An’ didn’t I tell Kate, the cook, that he had too much blarny about him for an honest man?

MRS. J. (_troubled_). What shall we do?

B. Send the perlice after him.

(_Enter MISS TRIST, L._)

MISS T. Oh, my poor head! I can’t stand it any longer.

MRS. J. What’s the matter, Miss Trist?

MISS T. That Mr. Scott, whose room is right opposite mine, is all the time playing on the piano. If it was sacred music I wouldn’t mind; but it’s the quickest kind of dancing tunes.

A. Why don’t you knock at his door and tell him how much it disturbs you? There is no one in the parlor, and he can play there all the afternoon if he wishes.

MISS T. Perhaps I will do so, for I’m afraid I shall go distracted.

(_Exit, L._)

B. An’ I must tell ye, mum, that Katy an’ me’ll be afther lavin’ here intirely, if our month’s wages aint paid by to-morrow.

MRS. J. Very well, I will attend to it. You can go now. (_Exit BRIDGET, R._) I’m sure I don’t know what we’re going to do. I have received two letters from Lawyer Snap about the last month’s rent. The second one stated that if it was not paid immediately legal steps would be instituted.

(_At this moment hurried steps are heard, L., and MISS TRIST rushes into the room, closely followed by MR. SCOTT; her cap strings flying, and both hands are placed on her devoted head, as if fearing a blow there. Her companion dashes madly after her, holding a heavy music-book in a menacing way._)

MRS. J. Miss Trist, Mr. Scott—what is the matter?

MR. S. (_standing still for a moment, speaks in a fierce manner_). That woman (_looking toward MISS T._) has been tormenting me. I was engaged in improvising music, an opera which would have far exceeded anything that Verdi or Meyerbeer ever composed, and was just arranging one of the most delicate passages, when that woman knocked at my door. (_Enter SHERIFF and keeper by entrance back of MR. S._) Of course the interruption was fatal to my opera. And what did she come for? Why, she wanted me to go to the parlor piano, because my music disturbed her. And through her means, that divine opera is lost to the world. (_In a loud tone._) I will kill her! (_more fiercely_) I will annihilate her! I will crush her to atoms! (_AMANDA faints, MRS. J. clasps her hands with a deprecating gesture, and MR. S. dashes after MISS T., who has sunk with a frightened air into a chair in the farther corner. The SHERIFF seizes MR. S. from behind. The latter struggles furiously, but vainly._)

SHERIFF. Here, Randall, take charge of this man. He’s that lunatic who escaped from the asylum six weeks ago. They’ve searched most everywhere for him.

MR. S. (_who is quiet for a moment—with a smile_). I was too cunning for them. (_Again furious._) You shall not restrain me. I must annihilate that woman, and then finish my opera. (_RANDALL takes MR. S., screaming and struggling furiously, from the room._)

MRS. J. (_to SHERIFF_). How can I thank you, sir, for delivering us from that madman?

SHERIFF. I am happy to have been of service to you in that way; but my errand here was to give you trouble. (_MRS. J. looks expectantly toward him. MRS. WESTWOOD enters, R._) I have been instructed to levy an attachment on your furniture, on account of your refusing to pay your rent.

MRS. J. I am sorry it so happens. I depended on the money which I was to receive from my boarders to pay my expenses; but, of fifteen boarders, these two ladies are the only ones who have paid.

MRS. W. (_coming forward_). That’s a shame. Mr. Sheriff, what’s the amount of your bill?

SHERIFF. Rent $125, and costs $25 more.

MRS. W. Here’s the money, $150. Now give me a receipted bill.

SHERIFF. Here is one, though I didn’t expect to need it (_gives bill and takes money_). Thank you, ma’am.

(_Exit SHERIFF, L. MRS. J. gazes in astonishment._)

MRS. W. Mrs. Jones, what do your other unpaid bills amount to?

MRS. J. About five hundred dollars.

MRS. W. Well, I’ve got a proposal to make to you. In the first place, however, I must explain a little. Do you remember hearing your husband speak of his sister, Sarah Jane, who went to California to become a teacher, some twenty odd years ago?

MRS. J. Yes; she went away just before I became acquainted with him. He frequently spoke of the circumstance; but the vessel was wrecked, and he supposed, as he heard no further tidings, that she must have been lost with the other passengers.

MRS. W. Well, she wasn’t lost, but returned a couple of months ago, and now stands before you.

A. And are you my Aunt Sarah?

MRS. W. Yes. I went, as you know, to San Francisco with the intention of teaching, but on board the steamer I became acquainted with Mr. Westwood, who had started for California to seek his fortune. He and myself and one other passenger were the only persons saved from the wreck. He persuaded me to abandon my original plan, and marry him. I did so, and we went into the country, where he bought a sheep ranch. He was prospered in all his undertakings, and, last year, died, leaving me, by will, all he possessed.

MRS. J. But why haven’t you written to us in all these years?

MRS. W. We were intending, from year to year, to come back soon to surprise my brother, but circumstances constantly arose to prevent it. After my husband died, I determined to come at once and seek my relatives; but when I arrived I learned of my brother’s death. I then sought a boarding-place, and in looking over the paper met with your advertisement. Although the name was the same, I had no idea you were his widow till I saw his portrait hanging in the parlor. Though grown older, his features had not yet changed, and I recognized him at once. I engaged board with you, thinking if I enjoyed stopping here I would propose to become a permanent member of your family. I now propose to take the house, pay your debts and all the future expenses of house-keeping, in return for the society of yourself and daughter. What do you say to the plan?

MRS. J. I should be very glad to have it so, but I am afraid you do not realize what you are taking upon yourself.

MRS. W. Trust me for that. I know what I am about.

MRS. J. Then there’ll be no more anxiety and worriment about unpaid bills.

A. And no desire to continue the experiment of Keeping Genteel Boarders.

(_Curtain falls._)

MRS. SKINFLINT’S BARGAINS.

CHARACTERS.

MRS. SKINFLINT, a very Parsimonious Woman. EZEKIEL ONTHANK, a Yankee Peddler. SARAH JANE HOBBS, Ezekiel’s Sweetheart. MRS. HOBBS, Sarah Jane’s Mother.