SCENE I.—_MRS. SKINFLINT’S sitting-room. MRS. SKINFLINT, a

tall, bony woman, with a sharp, pinched face, is sitting in a rocking-chair, C., knitting._

MRS. SKINFLINT (_soliloquizes_). I declare I’ll never buy another thing at Thompson’s store. I paid fifteen cents a yard for my last kaliker dress, and Mis’ Hobbs bought one of a peddler yesterday, jest as good, for thirteen cents and three quarters. It’s a shame! On twelve yards I lost fifteen cents. That’s too much money to lose in these hard times. I wish that peddler would come along. I need a sight o’ things, and if I couldn’t beat him down, my name aint Betsy Jane Skinflint.

(_A knock is heard at the door, R. MRS. S. rises and opens it. The visitor proves to be EZEKIEL ONTHANK, a Yankee peddler, with a large pack on his back. He enters._)

EZEKIEL. Mornin’, marm. Anything in my line to-day? Dress-patterns, hoop-skirts, shawls, laces, ribbons, jewelry, spectacles, buttons, scissors, needles, pins—

MRS. S. Massy sakes! don’t tell any more of ’em. I shall forget what you sed fust. You haint got no good clocks, hev ye?

EZEK. Haint I though! I kin beat everybody on clocks. I’ve got some that cum clear from Switzerland. I imported ’em myself. Here’s one (_taking it from his pack_), the pootiest and best little timepiece ever you see.

MRS. S. Does it keep good time?

EZEK. I guess it does—tip-top. It goes ahead of anything ever you set your eyes on.

MRS. S. (_cautiously_). What d’ye charge for it?

EZEK. (_hesitating_). Well, I hev been sellin’ on ’em all along for twelve dollars apiece, but seein’ it’s you, I’ll let you have it for ten.

MRS. S. (_throwing up her hands_). Ten dollars! D’ye think I’m made o’ money? Besides, the clock aint wuth half that. But I don’t mind givin’ you five for it.

EZEK. That don’t pay the cost of importin’ ’em; but, ef you’re goin’ to buy consider’ble, I’ll say five for it. What’s the next thing?

MRS. S. I want ter git a pair o’ spettercles. As I was ridin’ to meetin’, last Sunday, mine fell off, and the wheel run right over ’em, and smashed the glass all to pieces. I cared more about ’em ’cause they’d ben in the famerly so long. Marm and granny both used ’em afore me.

EZEK. Mebbe they might be mended. Let’s see ’em.

(_MRS. S. produces a pair of heavy, iron-bowed spectacles. EZEKIEL looks at them dubiously._)

EZEK. I s’pose they might be fixed, but it’s my opinion ’twouldn’t pay. Besides, the bows are too heavy to wear. Didn’t nobody ever tell ye that wearin’ heavy-bowed specs sometimes made folks round-shouldered?

MRS. S. (_straightening up_). No. Dew tell!

EZEK. But I’ve got somethin’ here that’ll suit you to a T. Jest try ’em on (_handing her a pair of spectacles_). That’s jest the article you want.

MRS. S. (_trying them on and looking up_). Well, they’re pooty fair. But I s’pose you’ll charge as much as a dollar for ’em.

EZEK. A dollar! Why, woman alive, you don’t think I’d sell them specs for a dollar. They’re the real genuine periscopic Scotch pebble. They’re well wuth five dollars, but I shall only charge you three for them. ’Taint often you can get such a good article so cheap.

MRS. S. I’ll give you two dollars for ’em.

EZEK. No, I can’t afford to sell ’em so low. But I’ll tell you what I will do. I’ll split the difference, and let you have ’em for two-fifty. They’re very becomin’ to you—make you look ten years younger than the others did.

MRS. S. (_smiling at the compliment_). Well, I s’pose I shall have to take ’em. But I shouldn’t think ’twould take you long to get rich at that rate.

EZEK. The fact is, I’m growin’ poorer every day. I ought not to sell my goods so cheap; but the wimmen have such captivatin’ ways that I can’t resist ’em. What’s the next thing?

MRS. S. Well, I want some caliker for a new gown. I bought enough for one at Thompson’s, the other day; but I want another.

EZEK. I’ve got jest the thing for you (_showing her a piece of calico with stripes of red and yellow_). That’s exactly your style, and it’s only twelve and a half cents a yard.

MRS. S. Will it wash?

EZEK. Like white cloth. I’ve sold yards and yards of that same pattern. It takes so well that one factory don’t make nothin’ else.

MRS S. Twelve and a half cents a yard is too much. I can’t afford it, but I’ll give you a dollar for twelve yards.

EZEK. Couldn’t do it. Think of a nice dress pattern like that (_displaying the goods in a tempting manner_) bein’ sold for a dollar. No, marm, I can’t sell it any less.

MRS. S. (_looking at it longingly_). I’ll give you a dollar and a quarter.

EZEK. Well, as you’re taking consider’ble, I’ll let you have it for that; but you mustn’t say nothin’ about it. Why, Mis’ Hobbs bought some of it, and paid full price. I’m boardin’ there at Mis’ Hobbs’s. She’s got a pooty daughter—that Sairy Jane. Between you and me, that’s the reason I went to boardin’ there, for Mis’ Hobbs aint much of a cook.

MRS. S. (_elated_). I allers knew that. She never did hev much of a bringin’ up (_MRS. S. passes him money._)

EZEK. (_preparing to leave_). Thank ye, marm. Well, aint there sumthin’ more? You’ll want some hooks and eyes, and thread to make your dress with, don’t ye?

MRS. S. Oh, you’ll throw them in, won’t ye? The store people do.

EZEK. That’s askin’ a little too much.

MRS. S. Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll give you a mince pie for ’em. I made some fresh ones to-day. What d’ye say? You know yer boardin’-place aint anything to boast of.

EZEK. Well, I don’t mind doin’ it for once. (_MRS. SKINFLINT passes him pie from the table._) But I think I’d better be goin’. It don’t pay much to trade with you. You’re a deal too sharp. (_Taking his pack, he leaves the house._)

MRS. S. (_self-complacently soliloquizes_). I think I did make a good trade. Trust me for that. I saved enough on them trades to buy me a set of furs, next winter. They don’t cost but eight dollars, and I daresay I could get ’em for five. But there, it’s most twelve o’clock. I must be gettin’ dinner ready.

(_Exit._)

(_Curtain falls._)