SCENE II.--LORD HARDY'S _Lodgings.

_Enter_ LORD HARDY, CAMPLEY, _and_ TRIM.

_Ld. H._ I forget my own misfortunes, dear Campley, when I reflect on your success.

_Cam._ I assure you, it moderates the swell of joy that I am in, to think of your difficulties. I hope my felicity is previous to yours; my Lady Harriot gives her service to you, and we both think it but decent to suspend our marriage 'till your and Lady Sharlot's affairs are in the same posture.

_Ld. H._ Where is my lady?

_Cam._ She's at my aunt's, my lord. But, my lord, if you don't interpose, I don't know how I shall adjust matters with Mr. Trim for leaving his mistress behind me: I fear he'll demand satisfaction of me.

_Trim._ No, sir, alas, I can know no satisfaction while she is in jeopardy. Therefore would rather be put in a way to recover her by storming the castle, or other feat of arms, like a true enamoured swain as I am.

_Cam._ Since we are all three then expecting lovers, my lord, prithee let's have that song of yours which suits our common purpose.

_Ld. H._ Call in the boy.

BOY _sings._[29]

I. Ye minutes bring the happy hour, And Chloe blushing to the bower; Then shall all idle flames be o'er, Nor eyes or heart e'er wander more; Both, Chloe, fixed for e'er on thee, For thou art all thy sex to me.

II. A guilty is a false embrace, Corinna's love's a fairy-chace; Begone, thou meteor, fleeting fire, And all that can't survive desire. Chloe my reason moves and awe, And Cupid shot me when he saw.

_Trim._ Look you, gentlemen, since as you are pleased to say we're all lovers, and consequently poets, pray do me the honour to hear a little air of mine. You must know then, I once had the misfortune to fall in love below myself, but things went hard with us at that time, so that my passion, or as I may poetically speak, my fire was in the kitchen; 'twas towards a cook-maid, but before I ever saw Mrs. Deborah.

_Ld. H._ Come on then, Trim, let's have it.

_Trim._ I must run into next room for a lute. [_Exit._

_Cam._ This must be diverting! can the rogue play?

_Re-enter_ TRIM, _with a pair of Tongs._

_Trim._ Dear Cynderaxa herself very well understood this instrument, I therefore always sung this song to it, as thus--

I. Cynderaxa kind and good, Has all my heart and stomach too; She makes me love, not hate, my food, As other peevish wenches do.

II. When Venus leaves her Vulcan's cell, Which all but I a coal-hole call; Fly, fly, ye that above stairs dwell, Her face is washed, ye vanish all.

III. And as she's fair, she can impart That beauty, to make all things fine; Brightens the floor with wondrous art, And at her touch the dishes shine.

_Ld. H._ I protest, Will, thou art a poet indeed. "And at her touch the dishes shine"--and you touch your lute as finely.

_Enter_ BOY.

_Boy._ There's one Mr. Trusty below would speak with my lord.

_Ld. H._ Mr. Trusty? My father's steward? What can he have to say to me?

_Cam._ He's very honest, to my knowledge.

_Ld. H._ I remember, indeed, when I was turned out of the house he followed me to the gate and wept over me, for which I've heard he'd like to have lost his place. But, however, I must advise with you a little about my behaviour to him; let's in. Boy, bring him up hither, tell him I'll wait on him presently. [_Exit_ BOY.

I shall want you, I believe, here, Trim. [_Exeunt._

_Re-enter_ BOY _and_ TRUSTY.

_Boy._ My lord will wait on you here immediately. [_Exit_ BOY.

_Tru._ 'Tis very well, these lodgings are but homely for the Earl of Brumpton. Oh, that damned strumpet--that I should ever know my master's wife for such!--How many thousand things does my head run back to? After my poor father's death the good lord took me, because he was a captain in his regiment, and gave me education. I was, I think, three-and-twenty when this young lord within was christened; what a do there was about calling him Francis! [_Wipes his eyes._] These are but poor lodgings for him. I cannot bear the joy, to think that I shall save the family from which I've had my bread.

_Enter_ TRIM.

_Trim._ Sir, my lord will wait you immediately.

_Tru._ Sir, 'tis my duty to wait him--[_As_ TRIM _is going_] but, sir, are not you the young man that attended him at Christchurch, in Oxford, and have followed him ever since?

_Trim._ Yes, sir, I am.

_Tru._ Nay, sir, no harm, but you'll thrive the better for it.

_Trim._ I like this old fellow; I smell more money. [_Aside. Exit._

_Tru._ I think 'tis now eight years since I saw him--he was not then nineteen--when I followed him to the gate, and gave him fifty guineas, which I pretended his father sent after him.

_Enter_ LORD HARDY.

_Ld. H._ Mr. Trusty, I'm very glad to see you look very hale and jolly; you wear well. I'm glad to see it--but your commands to me, Mr. Trusty.

_Tru._ Why, my lord, I presume to wait on your lordship. My lord, you're strangely grown; you're your father's very picture, you're he, my lord; you are the very man that looked so pleased to see me look so fine in my laced livery, to go to Court. I was his page when he was just such another as you. He kissed me afore a great many lords, and said I was a brave man's son, that taught him to exercise his arms. I remember he carried me to the great window, and bid me be sure to keep in your mother's sight in all my finery. She was the finest young creature; the maids of honour hated to see her at Court. My lord then courted my good lady. She was as kind to me on her death-bed; she said to me, Mr. Trusty, take care of my lord's second marriage for that child's sake. She pointed as well as she could to you. You fell a-crying, and said she should not die; but she did, my lord. She left the world, and no one like her in't. Forgive me, my honoured master. [_Weeps, runs to my lord, and hugs him._] I've often carried you in these arms that grasp you; they were stronger then, but if I die to-morrow, you're worth five thousand pounds by my gift--'tis what I've got in the family, and I return it to you with thanks. But alas! do I live to see you want it?[30]

_Ld. H._ You confound me with all this tenderness and generosity.

_Tru._ I'll trouble you no longer, my lord, but----

_Ld. H._ Call it not a trouble, for----

_Tru._ My good lord, I will not, I say, indulge myself in talking fond tales that melt me, and interrupt my story. My business to your lordship, in one word, is this: I am in good confidence at present with my lady dowager, and I know she has some fears upon her, which depend upon the nature of the settlement to your disfavour, and under the rose--be yourself--I fear your father has not had fair play for his life--be composed, my lord. What is to be done is this: we'll not apply to public justice in this case, 'till we see farther; 'twill make it noisy, which we must not do, if I might advise. You shall, with a detachment of your Company, seize the corpse as it goes out of the house this evening to be interred in the country; 'twill only look like taking the administration upon yourself, and commencing a suit for the estate. She has put off the lying in state, and Lady Harriot's escape with Mr. Campley makes her fear he will prove a powerful friend, both to the young ladies and your lordship. She cannot, with decency, be so busy, as when the corpse is out of the house, therefore hastens it. I know your whole affair; leave the care of Lady Sharlot to me. I'll pre-acquaint her, that she mayn't be frightened, and dispose of her safely, to observe the issue.

_Ld. H._ I wholly understand you; it shall be done.

_Tru._ I'm sure I am wanted this moment for your interest at home. This ring shall be the passport of intelligence for whom you send to assault us, and the remittance of it sealed with this, shall be authentic from within the house.

_Ld. H._ 'Tis very well.

_Tru._ Hope all you can wish, my lord, from a certain secret relating to the estate, which I'll acquaint you with next time I see you. [_Exit._

_Ld. H._ Your servant----This fellow's strangely honest----Ha! Will.

_Enter_ CAMPLEY _and_ TRIM.

Will! don't the recruits wait for me to see 'em at their parade before this house?

_Trim._ Yes; and have waited these three hours.

_Ld. H._ Go to 'em; I'll be there myself immediately. We must attack with 'em, if the rogues are sturdy, this very evening.

_Trim._ I guess where----I'm overjoyed at it. I'll warrant you they do it, if I command in chief.

_Ld. H._ I design you shall. [TRIM _runs out jumping._

_Cam._ You seem, my lord, to be in deep meditation.

_Ld. H._ I am so, but not on anything that you may not be acquainted with. [_Exeunt._