SCENE I.--LORD HARDY'S _Lodgings.

_Enter_ LORD HARDY, CAMPLEY, _and_ TRIM.

_Ld. H._ That jade Tattleaid saw me upon the stairs, for I had not patience to keep my concealment, but must peep out to see what was become of you.

_Cam._ But we have advice, however, it seems, from the garrison already--this mistress of Trim's is a mighty lucky accident.

_Trim._ Ay, gentlemen, she has free egress and regress, and you know the French are the best-bred people in the world--she'll be assistant. But, 'faith, I have one scruple that hangs about me; and that is, look you, my lord, we servants have no masters in their absence. In a word, when I am with mademoiselle I talk of your lordship as only a particular acquaintance; that I do business indeed for you sometimes. I must needs say, cries I, that indeed my Lord Hardy is really a person I have a great honour for.

_Ld. H._ Pish! is that all? I understand you; your mistress does not know that you do me the honour to clean my shoes or so, upon occasion. Pr'ythee, Will, make yourself as considerable as you please.

_Trim._ Well, then, your lesson is this. She, out of respect to me, and understanding Mr. Campley was an intimate of my friend, my Lord Hardy, and condescending (though she is of a great house in France) to make manteaus for the improvement of the English--which gives her easy admittance--she, I say, moved by these promises,[26] has vouchsafed to bring a letter from my Lady Harriot to Mr. Campley, and came to me to bring her to him. You are to understand also that she is dressed in the latest French cut; her dress is the model of their habit, and herself of their manners. For she is--but you shall see her. [_Exit._

_Ld. H._ This gives me some life! Cheer up, Tom--but behold the solemnity. Do you see Trim's gallantry? I shall laugh out.

_Enter_ TRIM _leading in_ MADEMOISELLE.

_Trim._ My dear Lord Hardy, this is Mademoiselle d'Epingle, whose name you've often heard me sigh. [LORD HARDY _salutes her._] Mr. Campley--Mademoiselle d'Epingle. [CAMPLEY _salutes her._]

_Mad._ Votre servante, gentlemen, votre servante.

_Cam._ I protest to you I never saw anything so becoming as your dress. Shall I beg the favour you'd condescend to let Mr. Trim lead you once round the room, that I may admire the elegance of your habit? [TRIM _leads her round._

_Ld. H._ How could you ask such a thing?

_Cam._ Pshaw, my lord, you are a bashful English fellow. You see she is not surprised at it, but thinks me gallant in desiring it. Oh, madam! your air! the negligence, the disengagement of your manner! Oh how delicate is your noble nation! I swear there's none but the clumsy Dutch and English would oppose such polite conquerors. When shall you see an Englishwoman so dressed?

_Mad._ De Englise! poor barbarians; poor savages; dey know no more of de dress but to cover dere nakedness [_Glides along the room_]. Dey be cloded, but no dressed--But, Monsieur Terim, which Monsieur Campley?

_Trim._ That's honest Tom Campley.

_Cam._ At your service, mademoiselle.

_Mad._ I fear I incur de censure [_Pulling out the letter, and recollecting as loth to deliver it_], but Mr. Terim being your intimate friend, and I designing to honour him in de way of an husband--so--so--how do I run away in discourse--I never make promise to Mr. Terim before, and now to do it par accident----

_Cam._ Dear Will Trim is extremely obliging in having prevailed upon you to do a thing that the severity of your virtue, and the greatness of your quality (though a stranger in the country you now honour by your dwelling in it) would not let you otherwise condescend to----

_Mad._ Oh, monsieur! oh, monsieur! you speak my very thoughts. Oh! I don't know how, pardon me, to give a billet--it so look! O fie! I can no stay after it. [_Drops it, runs affectedly to the other end of the room, then quite out; re-enters._] I beg ten tousand pardons for go away to mal-propos. [_Curtsies as going._

_Ld. H._ Your servant, good madam. Mr. Trim, you know you command here. Pray, if Madam d'Epingle will honour our cottage with longer stay, wait on her in and entertain her. Pray, sir, be free.

_Trim._ My lord, you know your power over me; I'm all complaisance. [_Leads her out._

_Cam._ Now to my dear epistle--

"SIR,

"There is one thing which you were too generous to touch upon in our last conversation. We have reason to fear the Widow's practices in relation to our fortunes, if you are not too quick for her. I ask Lady Sharlot whether this is not her sense to Lord Hardy. She says nothing, but lets me write on. These people always have, and will have, admittance everywhere, therefore we may hear from you.

"I am, sir,

"Your most obedient servant,

"HARRIOT LOVELY."

My obedient servant! Thy obedience shall ever be as voluntary as now--ten thousand thousand kisses on thee, thou dear paper. Look you, my lord, what a pretty hand it is?

_Ld. H._ Why, Tom, thou dost not give me leave to see it. You snatch it to your mouth so, you'll stifle the poor lady.

_Cam._ Look you, my lord, all along the lines here went the pen; and through them white intervals her snowy fingers. Do you see, this is her name?

_Ld. H._ Nay, there's Lady Sharlot's name, too, in the midst of the letter. Why, you'll not be so unconscionable; you're so greedy, you'll give me one kiss sure?

_Cam._ Well, you shall; but you're so eager. Don't bite me, for you shan't have it in your own hands. There, there, there: Let go my hand.

_Ld. H._ What an exquisite pleasure there is in this foolery--but what shall we do?

_Cam._ I have a thought; pry'thee, my lord, call Trim.

_Ld. H._ Ha, Trim----

_Cam._ Hold, Mr. Trim. You forget his mistress is there.

_Ld. H._ Gra'mercy! Dear Will Trim, step in hither.

_Cam._ Ay, that's something----

_Enter_ TRIM.

Trim, have not I seen a young woman sometimes carry Madam d'Epingle's trinkets for her, coming from my Lady Brumpton's?

_Trim._ Yes, you might have seen such a one; she waits for her now.

_Cam._ Do you think you could not prevail for me to be dressed in that wench's clothes, and attend your mistress in her stead thither? They'll not dream we should so soon attempt again----

_Trim._ Yes, I'll engage it.

_Cam._ Then we'll trust the rest to our good genius. I'll about it instantly--Harriot Lovely----[_Exit, kissing the letter._