Richard Steele Edited, with an Introduction and Notes by G. A. Aitken
SCENE II.--LORD BRUMPTON'S _House.
_Enter_ SABLE, LORD BRUMPTON _and_ TRUSTY.
_Sab._ Why, my lord, you can't in conscience put me off so. I must do according to my orders, cut you up, and embalm you, except you'll come down a little deeper than you talk of; you don't consider the charges I have been at already.
_Ld. B._ Charges! for what?
_Sab._ First, twenty guineas to my lady's woman for notice of your death (a fee I've, before now, known the widow herself go halves in), but no matter for that. In the next place, ten pounds for watching you all your long fit of sickness last winter.
_Ld. B._ Watching me? Why I had none but my own servants by turns.
_Sab._ I mean attending to give notice of your death. I had all your long fit of sickness last winter, at half-a-crown a day, a fellow waiting at your gate to bring me intelligence, but you unfortunately recovered, and I lost my obliging pains for your service.
_Ld. B._ Ha! ha! ha! Sable, thou art a very impudent fellow; half-a-crown a day to attend my decease, and dost thou reckon it to me?
_Sab._ Look you, gentlemen, don't stand staring at me. I have a book at home which I call my Doomsday book, where I have every man of quality's age and distemper in town, and know when you should drop. Nay, my lord, if you had reflected upon your mortality half so much as poor I have for you, you would not desire to return to life thus; in short, I cannot keep this a secret, under the whole money I am to have for burying you.
_Ld. B._ Trusty, if you think it safe in you to obey my orders after the deed Puzzle told his clerk of, pay it to him.
_Tru._ I should be glad to give it out of my own pocket, rather than be without the satisfaction of seeing you witness to it.
_Ld. B._ I heartily believe thee, dear Trusty.
_Sab._ Then, my lord, the secret of your being alive, is now safe with me.
_Tru._ I'll warrant I'll be revenged of this unconscionable dog [_Aside_]--My lord, you must to your closet, I fear somebody's coming. [_Exeunt_ SABLE _one way_, LD. B. _and_ TRUSTY _another._]