SCENE II.--PENELOPE'S _Lodgings.

LETTICE, _discovered reading, by a small candle; two large ones by her unlighted._

_Lett._ 'Tis a most sad thing, one dare not light a large candle except company's coming in, and I scarce can see to read this piteous story. Well, in all these distresses and misfortunes, the faithful Argalus was renowned all over the plains of Arca--Arca--Arcadia--for his loyal and true affection to his charming paramour, Parthenia.[70] Blessings on his heart for it; there are no such suitors nowadays. [_Weeping._] But I hope they'll come together again at the end of the book, and marry, and have several children. Oh! Bless me! A man here! [_Turns over the leaves._]--The gentleman's pretty man----[_Aside._

_Enter_ LATINE.

I wonder by what means, with that impudence, you could offer to come upstairs at this time of the night, and my lady in the next room. I protest I'll cry out. [_In a low voice all._

_Lat._ Dear Mrs. Lettice, my love to you. [_Aloud._

_Lett._ Hist, hist! I am, methinks, however, loth to discover you, because servants must do as they're bid; for I know it was not to see me, but some message from your master you came about.

_Lat._ I offered to bring a letter from him, in hopes to see you, my dearest. I'll not give it at all; I don't care, my dearest. [_Kisses her hand._

_Lett._ Pho! pho! now you are rude, because you know one dare not discover you. You do what you will.--How he kisses one's hand: I warrant he has kissed his betters. [_Aside._]--Pray, did you never live in a lady's service?

_Lat._ No; nor do I value any of the sex but your dear self, Mrs. Lettice.--I would be discovered. [_Aside._]--I'm in a rapture! in a flame!

_Pen._ [_Within._] Who's there?

_Lett._ Hist, hist! could not you have forced a kiss quietly?--Madam! madam!--Hold me fast. Show the letter, my lady's coming.--I tell you, sir, she will receive no message at all. Get you downstairs, you impudent!--Hold me faster yet; she loves your master. [_Softly aside to_ LATINE.

_Enter_ PENELOPE _and_ VICTORIA.

_Pen._ What can this mean? What fellow's that has seized the wench?

_Lett._ Madam, madam, here's Mr. Bookwit's footman drunk, and has directly stole upstairs with some ill design, I fear, on me--but has a letter from his master to your ladyship.

_Pen._ Call up the servants: Simon, William, Kate, Alf! I'll have the rascal well basted for his insolence--served just as his master deserves.

_Lat._ [_Kneeling._] Let not those lips, more sweet than labour of Hyblæan bees, utter a sentence, as if a Libyan lioness on a mountain gave thee suck, and thou wert the obdurate offspring of a rock.

_Vict._ Hyblæan! Libyan! Obdurate! Ridiculous. The fellow has got his master's cant! Ha! ha! ha!

_Pen._ I'll put him out of it, I'll warrant you. What, will no one come up there?

_Enter_ Servants _with brooms, &c._

_Lat._ Oh! for the force of eloquence to allay and reconcile the passion of this angry mansion!--I had like to have said plain house, which had been against the laws of buskin, in which I would at present talk. [_Aside._

_Pen._ Did you ever hear anything like this? Ha! ha!

_Maid._ Madam, shall I beat him?

_Lat._ Ah! culinary fair, compose thy rage; thou whose more skilful hand is still employed in offices for the support of nature, descend not from thyself, thou bright cookmaid----There! sunk again! [_Aside._]--With heightened gusts and quickening tastes, by you what would be labour else is made delight. Thou great robust, let not thy hand all red assault a life it rather should preserve.

_Maid._ Good madam, excuse me, I can't touch him----I have bowels for him. [_Weeping._

_Sim._ I wish I had his learning. I'll warrant he buys in everything wherever he lives.

_Lat._ This, madam, this faithful paper tells you the passions of the tenderest heart that ever bled for cruel maid. Oh, Victoria! did you but hear his sighs, his restless hours!--how often he repeats Victoria!

_Lett._ Victoria! Then I find this is none on't meant to my lady--nor to me neither; the master and man are both rogues. [_Aside._

_Pen._ Receive your seasonable epistle now at midnight!

_Vict._ He can't mean me----To you he all along addressed.--Would I could read it without her. [_Aside._

_Pen._ To show you I value neither author nor bearer of it--kick the fellow down!

_Lat._ Nay, madam, since matters must come to extremities, I'd rather have the honour of your ladyship's command to be cudgelled by your good family than have it from my master. A disappointed lover in his rage will strike stone walls and things inanimate, much more a poor live footman; therefore I must deliver my message. I'll read it to you, ladies, for I see you are friends.

_Pen._ Away with him.

_Lat._ "If the sincerity of my intentions were not----"

_Lett._ Get out, false wretch.

_Lat._ "Demonstrable, in spite of----"

_Maid._ Take that----

_Lat._ "These accidents in which I have been involved, I should not dare to tell you how alternately joys, raptures, ecstasies, miseries, doubts, and anxieties do attack a breast devoted to you."

Whither shall injured virtue fly for shelter, When love and honour suffer thus in me? Oh! I could rage, call elements about me, spout cataracts-- Must I be drubbed with broom-staves? [_Exit._ LAT.

_Pen._ Come in, my dear, again. The night is cold. [_Exeunt._