Part 21

[_M. Mery._][419] Ah sir, be good to hir, she is but a gristle,[420] C i Ah sweete lambe and coney. 25

_R. Royster._ Tut thou art deceived.

_M. Mery._ Weepe no more lady, ye shall be well received. Up wyth some mery noyse sirs, to bring home the bride.[421]

_R. Royster._ Gogs armes knave, art thou madde? I tel thee thou art wide.[422]

_M. Mery._ Then ye entende by nyght to have hir home brought.

_R. Royster._ I tel thee no. 30

_M. Mery._ How then?

_R. Royster._ Tis neither ment ne thought.

_M. Mery._ What shall we then doe with hir?

_R. Royster._ Ah foolish harebraine, This is not she.

_M. Mery._ No is?[423] why then unsayde againe, And what yong girle is this with your mashyp so bolde?

_R. Royster._ A girle?

_M. Mery._ Yea. I dare say, scarce yet three score yere old. 34

_R. Royster._ This same is the faire widowes nourse of whome ye wotte.

_M. Mery._ Is she but a nourse of a house? hence home olde trotte, Hence at once.

_R. Royster._ No, no.

_M. Mery._ What an please your maship A nourse talke so homely[424] with one of your worship?

_R. Royster._ I will have it so: it is my pleasure and will. 39

_M. Mery._ Then I am content. Nourse come againe, tarry still.

_R. Royster._ What, she will helpe forward this my sute for hir part.

_M. Mery._ Then ist mine owne pygs nie,[425] and blessing on my hart.

_R. Royster._ This is our best friend[,] man[!]

_M. Mery._ Then teach hir what to say[!]

_M. Mumbl._ I am taught alreadie.

_M. Mery._ Then go, make no delay.

_R. Royster._ Yet hark one word in thine eare. 45

_M. Mery_ [_Dobinet, etc., press on Royster, who pushes them back_]. Back sirs from his taile.

_R. Royster._ Backe vilaynes, will ye be privie of my counsaile?

_M. Mery._ Backe sirs, so: I tolde you afore ye woulde be shent.

_R. Royster._ She shall have the first day a whole pecke of argent.

_M. Mumbl._ A pecke? _Nomine patris_ [_crossing herself_], have ye so much spare?[426]

_R. Royster._ Yea and a carte lode therto, or else were it bare, 50 Besides other movables, housholde stuffe and lande.

_M. Mumbl._ Have ye lands too.

_R. Royster._ An hundred marks.

_M. Mery._ Yea a thousand.

_M. Mumbl._ And have ye cattell too? and sheepe too?

_R. Royster._ Yea a fewe.

_M. Mery._ He is ashamed the numbre of them to shewe. Een rounde about him, as many thousande sheepe goes, 55 As he and thou and I too, have fingers and toes.

_M. Mumbl._ And how many yeares olde be you?

_R. Royster._ Fortie at lest.

_M. Mery._ Yea and thrice fortie to them. C i _b_

_R. Royster._ Nay now thou dost jest. I am not so olde, thou misreckonest my yeares. 59

_M. Mery._ I know that: but my minde was on bullockes and steeres.

_M. Mumbl._ And what shall I shewe hir your masterships name is?

_R. Royster._ Nay she shall make sute ere she know that ywis.

_M. Mumbl._ Yet let me somewhat knowe.

_M. Mery._ This is hee[,] understand, That killed the blewe Spider[427] in Blanchepouder[428] lande.

_M. Mumbl._ Yea _Jesus_[!] William[!] zee law[!] dyd he zo[?] law[!] 65

_M. Mery._ Yea and the last Elephant[429] that ever he sawe, As the beast passed by, he start out of a buske,[430] And een with pure strength of armes pluckt out his great tuske.

_M. Mumbl._ _Jesus, nomine patris_ [_crossing herself_], what a thing was that?

_R. Roister._ Yea but Merygreke one thing thou hast forgot. 70

_M. Mery._ What?

_R. Royster._ Of thother Elephant.

_M. Mery._ Oh hym that fledde away.

_R. Royster._ Yea.

_M. Mery._ Yea he knew that his match was in place that day Tut, he bet the king of Crickets[431] on Christmasse day, That he crept in a hole, and not a worde to say.

_M. Mumbl._ A sore man by zembletee.[432] 75

_M. Mery._ Why, he wrong a club Once in a fray out of the hande of Belzebub.

_R. Royster._ And how when Mumfision?

_M. Mery._ Oh your coustrelyng[433] Bore the lanterne a fielde so before the gozelyng. Nay that is to long a matter now to be tolde: Never aske his name Nurse, I warrant thee, be bolde, 80 He conquered in one day from _Rome_, to _Naples_, And woonne Townes[,] nourse[,] as fast as thou canst make Apples.

_M. Mumbl._ O Lorde, my heart quaketh for feare: he is to sore.

_R. Royster._ Thou makest hir to much afearde, Merygreeke no more. This tale woulde feare my sweete heart Custance right evill.

_M. Mery._ Nay let hir take him Nurse, and feare not the devill. 86 But thus is our song dasht. [_To the musicians_] Sirs ye may home againe.

_R. Royster._ No shall they not. I charge you all here to remaine: The villaine slaves[!] a whole day ere they can be founde.

_M. Mery._ Couche on your marybones whooresons, down to the ground[!][434] 90 Was it meete he should tarie so long in one place Without harmonie of Musike, or some solace? C ii Who so hath suche bees as your maister in hys head, Had neede to have his spirites with Musike to be fed. By your maisterships licence [_picking something from his coat_].

_R. Royster._ What is that? a moate? 96

_M. Mery._ No it was a fooles feather[435] had light on your coate.

_R. Roister._ I was nigh no feathers since I came from my bed.

_M. Mery._ No sir, it was a haire that was fall from your hed.

_R. Roister._ My men com when it plese them.

_M. Mery._ By your leve.

_R. Roister._ What is that?

_M. Mery._ Your gown was foule spotted with the foot of a gnat. 100

_R. Roister._ Their maister to offende they are nothing afearde. What now?

_M. Mery._ A lousy haire from your masterships beard. _Omnes famul_[_i_].[436] And sir for Nurses sake pardon this one offence. We shall not after this shew the like negligence. 104

_R. Royster._ I pardon you this once, and come sing nere the wurse.

_M. Mery._ How like you the goodnesse of this gentleman[,] nurse?

_M. Mumbl._ God save his maistership that so can his men forgeve, And I wyll heare them sing ere I go, by his leave.

_R. Royster._ Mary and thou shalt wenche, come we two will daunce.

_M. Mumbl._ Nay I will by myne owne selfe foote the song perchaunce.

_R. Royster._ Go to it sirs lustily. 111

_M. Mumbl._ Pipe up a mery note, Let me heare it playde, I will foote it for a grote.

_Cantent._[437]

_R. Royster._ Now nurse take thys same letter here to thy mistresse. And as my trust is in thee plie my businesse.

_M. Mumbl._ It shalbe done[!][438] 115

_M. Mery._ Who made it?

_R. Royster._ I wrote it ech whit.

_M. Mery._ Then nedes it no mending.

_R. Royster._ No, no.

_M. Mery._ No I know your wit. I warrant it wel.

_M. Mumb._ It shal be delivered. But if ye speede, shall I be considered?

_M. Mery._ Whough, dost thou doubt of that?

_Madge._ What shal I have? 119

_M. Mery._ An hundred times more than thou canst devise to crave.

_M. Mumbl._ Shall I have some newe geare? for my olde is all spent.

_M. Mery._ The worst kitchen wench shall goe in ladies rayment.

_M. Mumbl._ Yea?

_M. Mery._ And the worst drudge in the house shal go better Than your mistresse doth now.

_Mar._ Then I trudge with your letter. [_Exit._]

_R. Royster._ Now may I repose me: Custance is mine owne. C ii _b_ Let us sing and play homeward that it may be knowne. 126

_M. Mery._ But are you sure, that your letter is well enough?

_R. Royster._ I wrote it my selfe.

_M. Mery._ Then sing we to dinner.

_Here they sing, and go out singing._

Actus. i. Scæna. v.

CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE. MARGERIE MUMBLECRUST.

_C. Custance._ Who tooke[439] thee thys letter Margerie Mumblecrust?

_M. Mumbl._ A lustie gay bacheler tooke it me of trust, And if ye seeke to him he will lowe[440] your doing.

_C. Custance._ Yea, but where learned he that manner of wowing?

_M. Mumbl._ If to sue to hym, you will any paines take, 5 He will have you to his wife (he sayth) for my sake.

_C. Custance._ Some wise gentlemen belike. I am bespoken:[441] And I thought verily thys had bene some token From my dere spouse[442] Gawin Goodluck, whom when him please God luckily sende home to both our heartes ease. 10

_M. Mumbl._ A joyly[443] man it is I wote well by report, And would have you to him for marriage resort: Best open the writing, and see what it doth speake.

_C. Custance._ At thys time nourse I will neither reade ne breake.

_M. Mumbl._ He promised to give you a whole pecke of golde. 15

_C. Custance._ Perchaunce lacke of a pynte when it shall be all tolde.

_M. Mumbl._ I would take a gay riche husbande, and I were you.

_C. Custance._ In good sooth Madge, een so would I, if I were thou.[444] But no more of this fond talke now, let us go in, And see thou no more move me folly to begin. 20 Nor bring mee no mo letters for no mans pleasure, But thou know from whom.

_M. Mumbl._ I warrant ye shall be sure.

Actus. ii. Scæna i.[445] C [iii]

DOBINET DOUGHTIE.

_D. Dough._ Where is the house I goe to, before or behinde? I know not where nor when nor how I shal it finde. If I had ten mens bodies and legs and strength, This trotting that I have must needs lame me at length. And nowe that my maister is new set on wowyng, 5 I trust there shall none of us finde lacke of doyng: Two paire of shoes a day will nowe be too litle To serve me, I must trotte to and fro so mickle. Go beare me thys token, carrie me this letter, Nowe this is the best way, nowe that way is better. 10 Up before day sirs, I charge you, an houre or twaine, Trudge, do me thys message, and bring worde quicke againe, If one misse but a minute, then [H]is armes and woundes[446] I woulde not have slacked for ten thousand poundes. Nay see I beseeche you, if my most trustie page, 15 Goe not nowe aboute to hinder my mariage, So fervent hotte wowyng, and so farre from wiving, I trowe never was any creature livyng, With every woman is he in some loves pang, Then up to our lute at midnight, twangledome twang,[447] 20 Then twang with our sonets, and twang with our dumps,[448] And heyhough from our heart, as heavie as lead lumpes: Then to our recorder[449] with toodleloodle poope As the howlet out of an yvie bushe should hoope. Anon to our gitterne, thrumpledum, thrumpledum thrum, 25 Thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum thrum. Of Songs and Balades also is he a maker, And that can he as finely doe as Iacke Raker,[450] C iii _b_ Yea and _extempore_ will he dities compose, Foolishe _Marsias_ nere made the like I suppose, 30 Yet must we sing them, as good stuffe I undertake, As for such a pen man is well fittyng to make. Ah for these long nights, heyhow, when will it be day? I feare ere I come she will be wowed away. Then when aunswere is made that it may not bee, 35 O death why commest thou not? by and by[452] (sayth he)[;] But then, from his heart to put away sorowe, He is as farre in with some newe love next morowe. But in the meane season we trudge and we trot, From dayspring to midnyght, I sit not, nor rest not. 40 And now am I sent to dame Christian Custance: But I feare it will ende with a mocke for pastance.[451] I bring hir a ring, with a token in a cloute, And by all gesse, this same is hir house out of doute. I knowe it nowe perfect, I am in my right way. 45 And loe yond the olde nourse that was wyth us last day.

Actus ii. Scæna ii.

MAGE MUMBLECRUST. DOBINET DOUGHTIE.

_M. Mumbl_. I was nere so shoke[453] up afore since I was borne, That our mistresse coulde not have chid[453] I wold have sworne: And I pray God I die if I ment any harme, But for my life time this shall be to me a charme.

_D. Dough._ God you save and see nurse, and howe is it with you? 5

_M. Mumbl._ Mary a great deale the worse it is for suche as thou.

_D. Dough._ For me? Why so?

_M. Mumb._ Why wer not thou one of them, say, That song and playde here with the gentleman last day?

_D. Dough._ Yes, and he would know if you have for him spoken. And prayes you to deliver this ring and token. 10

_M. Mumbl._ Nowe by the token that God tokened[,] brother, I will deliver no token one nor other. I have once ben so shent for your maisters pleasure, C iv As I will not be agayne for all hys treasure.

_D. Dough._ He will thank you woman. 15

_M. Mumbl._ I will none of his thanke. _Ex._

_D. Dough._ I weene I am a prophete, this geare will prove blanke:[454] But what should I home againe without answere go? It were better go to _Rome_[455] on my head than so. I will tary here this moneth, but some of the house 20 Shall take it of me, and then I care not a louse. But yonder commeth forth a wenche or a ladde, If he have not one Lumbardes touche,[456] my lucke is bad.

Actus. ii. Scæna. iii.

TRUEPENIE. D. DOUGH. TIBET T. ANOT AL.

_Trupeny._ I am cleane lost for lacke of mery companie, We gree not halfe well within, our wenches and I, They will commaunde like mistresses, they will forbyd, If they be not served, Trupeny must be chyd. Let them be as mery nowe as ye can desire, 5 With turnyng of a hande, our mirth lieth in the mire, I can not skill of such chaungeable mettle, There is nothing with them but in docke out nettle.[457]

_D. Dough._ Whether is it better that I speake to him furst, Or he first to me, it is good to cast the wurst. 10 If I beginne first, he will smell all my purpose, Otherwise I shall not neede any thing to disclose.

_Trupeny._ What boy have we yonder? I will see what he is.

_D. Dough._ He commeth to me. It is hereabout ywis.

_Trupeny._ Wouldest thou ought friende, that thou lookest so about?

_D. Dough._ Yea, but whether ye can helpe me or no, I dout. 16 I seeke to one mistresse Custance house here dwellyng.

_Trupenie._ It is my mistresse ye seeke too by your telling.

_D. Dough._ Is there any of that name heere but shee?

_Trupenie._ Not one in all the whole towne that I knowe pardee. C iv _b_ 20

_D. Dough._ A Widowe she is I trow.

_Trupenie._ And what and she be?

_D. Dough._ But ensured to an husbande.

_Trupenie._ Yea, so thinke we.

_D. Dough._ And I dwell with hir husbande that trusteth to be.

_Trupenie._ In faith then must thou needes be welcome to me, Let us for acquaintance shake handes togither, 25 And what ere thou be, heartily welcome hither.

_Tib. Talk._ Well Trupenie never but flinging.[458] [entering with AN.]

_An. Alyface._ And frisking?

_Trupenie._ Well Tibet and Annot, still swingyng and whiskyng?

_Tib. Talk._ But ye roile abroade.

_An. Alyface._ In the streete evere where.

_Trupenie._ Where are ye twaine, in chambers when ye mete me there? 30 But come hither fooles, I have one nowe by the hande, Servant to hym that must be our mistresse husbande, Byd him welcome.

_An. Alyface._ To me truly is he welcome.

_Tib. Talk._ Forsooth and as I may say, heartily welcome.

_D. Dough._ I thank you mistresse maides. 35

_An. Alyface._ I hope we shal better know.

_Tib. Talk._ And when wil our new master come.

_D. Dough._ Shortly I trow.

_Tib. Talk._ I would it were to morow: for till he resorte Our mistresse being a Widow hath small comforte, And I hearde our nourse speake of an husbande to day Ready for our mistresse, a riche man and a gay, 40 And we shall go in our frenche hoodes[459] every day, In our silke cassocks (I warrant you) freshe and gay, In our tricke[460] ferdegews and billiments of golde,[461] Brave[462] in our sutes of chaunge seven double folde, Then shall ye see Tibet sirs, treade the mosse so trimme, 45 Nay, why sayd I treade? ye shall see hir glide and swimme, Not lumperdee clumperdee like our spaniell Rig.

_Trupeny._ Mary then prickmedaintie[463] come toste me a fig.[464] Who shall then know our Tib Talke apace trow ye?

_An. Alyface._ And why not Annot Alyface as fyne as she? 50

_Trupeny._ And what had Tom Trupeny, a father or none?

_An. Alyface._ Then our prety newe come man will looke to be one.

_Trupeny._ We foure I trust shall be a joily mery knot. Shall we sing a fitte to welcome our friende, Annot? D i

_An. Alyface._ Perchaunce he can not sing. 55

_D. Dough._ I am at all assayes.[465]

_Tib. Talk._ By cocke and the better welcome to us alwayes.

_Here they sing._

A thing very fitte For them that have witte, And are felowes knitte Servants in one house to bee, 60 Is fast fast for to sitte, And not oft to flitte, Nor varie a whitte, But lovingly to agree. No man complainyng, 65 Nor other disdayning, For losse or for gainyng, But felowes or friends to bee. No grudge remainyng, No worke refrainyng, 70 Nor helpe restrainyng, But lovingly to agree.

No man for despite, By worde or by write His felowe to twite, 75 But further in honestie, No good turnes entwite,[466] Nor olde sores recite, But let all goe quite, And lovingly to agree. 80 After drudgerie, When they be werie, Then to be merie, To laugh and sing they be free With chip and cherie 85 Heigh derie derie, Trill on the berie,[467] And lovingly to agree.

_Finis._

_Tib. Talk._ Wyll you now in with us unto our mistresse go?

_D. Dough._ I have first for my maister an errand or two. 90 But I have here from him a token and a ring, They shall have moste thanke of hir that first doth it bring.

_Tib. Talk._ Mary that will I.

_Trupeny._ See and Tibet snatch not now.

_Tib. Talk._ And why may not I sir, get thanks as well as you? _Exeat._

_An. Alyface._ Yet get ye not all, we will go with you both. 95 And have part of your thanks be ye never so loth. [_Exeant omnes._] _D. Dough._ So my handes are ridde of it: I care for no more. I may now return home: so durst I not afore. _Exeat._

Actus. ii. Scæna. iiii. D i _b_

C. CUSTANCE. TIBET. ANNOT ALYFACE. TRUPENY.

_C. Custance._ Nay come forth all three: and come hither pretie mayde: Will not so many forewarnings make you afrayde?

_Tib. Talk._ Yes forsoth.

_C. Custance._ But stil be a runner up and downe Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to towne.

_Tib. Talk._ No forsoth mistresse. 5

_C. Custance._ Is all your delite and joy In whiskyng and ramping[468] abroade like a Tom boy.

_Tib. Talk._ Forsoth these were there too, Annot and Trupenie.

_Trupenie._ Yea but ye alone tooke it, ye can not denie.

_Annot Aly._ Yea that ye did.

_Tibet._ But if I had not, ye twaine would.

_C. Custance._ You great calfe ye should have more witte, so ye should: 10 But why shoulde any of you take such things in hande.

_Tibet._ Because it came from him that must be your husbande.

_C. Custance._ How do ye know that?

_Tibet._ Forsoth the boy did say so.

_C. Custance._ What was his name?

_An. Alyface._ We asked not.

_C. Custance._ No?[469]

_An. Aliface._ He is not farre gone of likelyhod. 15

_Trupeny._ I will see.

_C. Custance._ If thou canst finde him in the streete bring him to me.

_Trupenie._ Yes. _Exeat._

_C. Custance._ Well ye naughty girles, if ever I perceive That henceforth you do letters or tokens receive, To bring unto me from any person or place, Except ye first shewe me the partie face to face, 20 Eyther thou or thou, full truly abye[470] thou shalt.

_Tibet._ Pardon this, and the next tyme pouder me in salt.

_C. Custance._ I shall make all girles by you twaine to beware.

_Tibet._ If ever I offende againe do not me spare. But if ever I see that false boy any more 25 By your mistreshyps licence I tell you afore I will rather have my cote twentie times swinged, Than on the naughtie wag not to be avenged.

_C. Custance._ Good wenches would not so rampe abrode ydelly, But keepe within doores, and plie their work earnestly, D ii 30 If one would speake with me that is a man likely, Ye shall have right good thanke to bring me worde quickly. But otherwyse with messages to come in post From henceforth I promise you, shall be to your cost. Get you in to your work. 35

_Tib. An._ Yes forsoth.

_C. Custance._ Hence both twaine. And let me see you play me such a part againe. [_Exeant_ TIB. _and_ AN.]

_Trupeny_ [_entering_]. Maistresse, I have runne past the farre ende of the streete, Yet can I not yonder craftie boy see nor meete.

_C. Custance._ No?

_Trupeny._ Yet I looked as farre beyonde the people. As one may see out of the toppe of Paules steeple. 40

_C. Custance._ Hence in at doores, and let me no more be vext.

_Trupeny._ Forgeve me this one fault, and lay on for the next.

_C. Custance._ Now will I in too, for I thinke so God me mende, This will prove some foolishe matter in the ende. _Exeat._

Actus. [i]ii. Scæna. i.

MATHEWE MERYGREEKE.

_M. Mery._ Nowe say thys againe: he hath somewhat to dooing Which followeth the trace of one that is wowing, Specially that hath no more wit in his hedde, Than my cousin Roister Doister withall is ledde. I am sent in all haste to espie and to marke 5 How our letters and tokens are likely to warke. Maister Roister Doister must have aunswere in haste For he loveth not to spende much labour in waste. Nowe as for Christian Custance by this light, Though she had not hir trouth to Gawin Goodluck plight, 10 Yet rather than with such a loutishe dolte to marie, I dare say woulde lyve a poore lyfe solitarie, But fayne woulde I speake with Custance if I wist how To laugh at the matter, yond commeth one forth now.

Actus. iii. Scæna. ii. D ii _b_

TIBET. M. MERYGREEKE. CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE.