Part 15

_Mery-reporte._ Oft tyme yt is sene, both in court and towne, Longe be women a bryngyng up & sone brought downe. 860 So fet[189] yt is, so nete yt is, so nyse yt is, So trycke[190] yt is, so quycke yt is, so wyse yt is. I fere my self, excepte I may entreat her, I am so farre in love I shall forget her. Now, good maystres, I pray you, let me kys ye-- 865

_Gentylwoman._ Kys me, quoth a! Why, nay, syr, I wys ye.

_Mery-reporte._ What! yes, hardely! Kys me ons and no more. I never desyred to kys you before.

_Here the_ LAUNDER _cometh in_.

_Launder._ Why! have ye alway kyst her behynde? In fayth, good inough, yf yt be your mynde. 870 And yf your appetyte serve you so to do, Byr lady, I wolde ye had kyst myne ars to!

_Mery-reporte._ To whom dost thou speake, foule hore? canst thou tell?

_Launder._ Nay, by my trouth! I, syr, not very well! But by conjecture this ges[191] I have, 875 That I do speke to an olde baudy knave. I saw you dally with your symper de cokket[192] I rede you beware she pyck not your pokket. Such ydyll huswyfes do now and than Thynke all well wonne that they pyck from a man. 880 Yet such of some men shall have more favour, Then we, that for them dayly toyle and labour. But I trust the god wyll be so indyfferent That she shall fayle some parte of her entent.

_Mery-reporte._ No dout he wyll deale so gracyously 885 That all folke shall be served indyfferently. How be yt, I tell the trewth, my offyce is suche D i _b_ That I muste reporte eche sewt, lyttell or muche. Wherfore, wyth the god syns thou canst not speke, Trust me wyth thy sewt, I wyll not fayle yt to breke.[193] 890

_Launder._ Then leave not to muche to yonder gyglet.[194] For her desyre contrary to myne is set. I herde by her tale she wolde banyshe the sonne, And then were we pore launders all undonne. Excepte the sonne shyne that our clothes may dry, 895 We can do ryght nought in our laundrye. An other maner losse, yf we sholde mys, Then of suche nycebyceters[195] as she is.

_Gentylwoman._ I thynke yt better that thou envy me, Then I sholde stande at rewarde[196] of thy pytte. 900 It is the guyse of such grose quenes as thou art With such as I am evermore to thwart. By cause that no beauty ye can obtayne Therfore ye have us that be fayre in dysdayne.

_Launder._ When I was as yonge as thou art now, 905 I was wythin lyttel as fayre as thou, And so myght have kept me, yf I hadde wolde, And as derely my youth I myght have solde As the tryckest and fayrest of you all. But I feared parels[197] that after myght fall, 910 Wherfore some busynes I dyd me provyde, Lest vyce myght enter on every syde, Whyche hath fre entre where ydelnesse doth reyne. It is not thy beauty that I dysdeyne, But thyne ydyll lyfe that thou hast rehersed, 915 Whych any good womans hert wolde have perced. For I perceyve in daunsynge and syngynge, In eatyng and drynkynge and thyne apparellynge, Is all the joye, wherin thy herte is set. But nought of all this doth thyne owne labour get; 920 For, haddest thou nothyng but of thyne owne travayle, Thou myghtest go as naked as my nayle. Me thynke thou shuldest abhorre suche ydylnes And passe thy tyme in some honest besynes; Better to lese some parte of thy beaute, 925 Then so ofte to jeoberd all thyne honeste. But I thynke, rather then thou woldest so do, D ii Thou haddest lever have us lyve ydylly to. And so, no doute, we shulde, yf thou myghtest have The clere sone banysht, as thou dost crave: 930 Then were we launders marde and unto the Thyne owne request were smale commodyte. For of these twayne I thynke yt farre better Thy face were sone-burned, and thy clothis the swetter,[198] Then that the sonne from shynynge sholde be smytten, 935 To kepe thy face fayre and thy smocke beshytten. Syr, howe lycke ye my reason in her case?

_Mery-reporte._ Such a raylynge hore, by the holy mas, I never herde, in all my lyfe, tyll now. In dede I love ryght well the ton of you, 940 But, or I wolde kepe you both, by goddes mother, The devyll shall have the tone to fet[199] the tother.

_Launder._ Promyse me to speke that the sone may shyne bryght, And I wyll be gone quyckly for all nyght.

_Mery-reporte._ Get you both hens, I pray you hartely; 945 Your sewtes I perceyve and wyll reporte them trewly Unto Jupyter, at the next leysure, And in the same desyre, to know his pleasure; Whyche knowledge hadde, even as he doth show yt, Feare ye not, tyme enough, ye shall know it. 950

_Gentylwoman._ Syr, yf ye medyll, remember me fyrste.

_Launder._ Then in this medlynge my parte shal be the wurst.

_Mery-reporte._ Now, I beseche our lorde, the devyll the[200] burst. Who medlyth wyth many I hold hym accurst, Thou hore, can I medyl wyth you both at ones. 955

_Here the_ GENTYLWOMAN _goth forth_.

_Launder._ By the mas, knave, I wold I had both thy stones In my purs, yf thou medyl not indyfferently, That both our maters in yssew may be lyckly.

_Mery-reporte._ Many wordes, lyttell mater, and to no purpose, Suche is the effect that thou dost dysclose, 960 The more ye byb[201] the more ye babyll, The more ye babyll the more ye fabyll, The more ye fabyll the more unstabyll, The more unstabyll the more unabyll, In any maner thynge to do any good. 965 No hurt though ye were hanged, by the holy rood! D ii _b_

_Launder._ The les your sylence, the lesse your credence, The les your credens the les your honeste, The les your honeste the les your assystens, The les your assystens the les abylyte 970 In you to do ought. Wherfore, so god me save, No hurte in hangynge such a raylynge knave.

_Mery-reporte._ What monster is this? I never harde none suche. For loke how myche more I have made her to myche, And so farre, at lest, she hath made me to lyttell. 975 Wher be ye Launder? I thynke in some spytell.[202] Ye shall washe me no gere, for feare of fretynge[203] I love no launders that shrynke my gere in wettynge, I praye the go hens, and let me be in rest. I wyll do thyne erand as I thynke best. 980

_Launder._ Now wolde I take my leve, yf I wyste how. The lenger I lyve the more knave you.

_Mery-reporte._ The lenger thou lyvest the pyte the gretter, The soner thou be ryd the tydynges the better! Is not this a swete offyce that I have, 985 When every drab shall prove me a knave? Every man knoweth not what goddes servyce is, Nor I my selfe knewe yt not before this. I thynke goddes servauntes may lyve holyly, But the devyls servauntes lyve more meryly. 990 I know not what god geveth in standynge fees, But the devyls servaunts have casweltees[204] A hundred tymes mo then goddes servauntes have. For, though ye be never so starke a knave, If ye lacke money the devyll wyll do no wurse 995 But brynge you strayght to a-nother mans purse. Then wyll the devyll promote you here in this world, As unto suche ryche yt doth moste accord. Fyrste _pater noster qui es in celis_, And then ye shall sens[205] the shryfe wyth your helys. 1000 The greatest frende ye have in felde or towne, Standynge a-typ-to, shall not reche your crowne.

_The_ BOY _cometh in, the lest that can play_.

_Boy._ This same is even he, by al lycklyhod. Syr, I pray you, be not you master god?

_Mery-reporte._ No, in good fayth, sonne. But I may say to the I am suche a man that god may not mysse me. D iii 1006 Wherfore with the god yf thou wouldest have ought done Tell me thy mynde, and I shall shew yt sone.

_Boy._ Forsothe, syr, my mynde is thys, at few wordes, All my pleasure is in catchynge of byrdes, 1010 And makynge of snow-ballys and throwyng the same; For the whyche purpose to have set in frame,[206] Wyth my godfather god I wolde fayne have spoken, Desyrynge hym to have sent me by some token Where I myghte have had great frost for my pytfallys, 1015 And plente of snow to make my snow-ballys. This onys[207] had, boyes lyvis be such as no man leddys. O, to se my snow ballys lyght on my felowes heddys, And to here the byrdes how they flycker theyr wynges In the pytfale! I say yt passeth all thynges. 1020 Syr, yf ye be goddes servaunt, or his kynsman, I pray you helpe me in this yf ye can.

_Mery-reporte._ Alas, pore boy, who sent the hether?

_Boy._ A hundred boys that stode to-gether, Where they herde one say in a cry 1025 That my godfather, god almighty, Was come from heven, by his owne accorde, This nyght to suppe here wyth my lorde,[208] And farther he sayde, come whos[o][209] wull, They shall sure have theyr bellyes full 1030 Of all wethers who lyste to crave, Eche sorte suche wether as they lyste to have. And when my felowes thought this wolde be had, And saw me so prety a pratelynge lad, Uppon agrement, wyth a great noys, 1035 "Sende lyttell Dycke," cryed al the boys. By whose assent I am purveyd[210] To sew for the wether afore seyd. Wherin I pray you to be good, as thus, To helpe that god may geve yt us. 1040

_Mery-reporte._ Gyve boyes wether, quoth a! nonny,[211] nonny!

_Boy._ Yf god of his wether wyll gyve nonny, I pray you, wyll he sell ony? Or lend us a bushell of snow, or twayne, And poynt us a day to pay hym agayne? 1045

_Mery-reporte._ I can not tell, for, by thys light, D iii _b_ I chept[212] not, nor borowed, none of hym this night. But by suche shyfte as I wyll make Thou shalte se soone what waye he wyll take.

_Boy._ Syr, I thanke you. Then I may departe. 1050

_The_ BOY _goth forth_.

_Mery-reporte._ Ye, fare well, good sonne, wyth all my harte, Now suche an other sorte[213] as here hath bene In all the dayes of my lyfe I have not sene. No sewters now but women, knavys, and boys, And all theyr sewtys are in fansyes and toys. 1055 Yf that there come no wyser after thys cry I wyll to the god and make an ende quyckely. Oyes,[214] yf that any knave here Be wyllynge to appere, For wether fowle or clere, 1060 Come in before thys flocke And be he hole or syckly, Come, shew hys mynde quyckly, And yf hys tale be not lyckly[215] Ye shall lycke my tayle in the nocke. 1065 All thys tyme I perceyve is spent in wast, To wayte for mo sewters I se none make hast. Wherfore I wyll shew the god all thys procys And be delyvered of my symple[216] offys. Now, lorde, accordynge to your commaundement, 1070 Attendynge sewters I have ben dylygent, And, at begynnyng as your wyll was I sholde, I come now at ende to shewe what eche man wolde. The fyrst sewter before your selfe dyd appere, A gentylman desyrynge wether clere, 1075 Clowdy nor mysty, nor no wynde to blowe, For hurte in hys huntynge; and then, as ye know, The marchaunt sewde, for all of that kynde, For wether clere and mesurable wynde As they maye best bere theyr saylys to make spede. 1080 And streyght after thys there came to me, in dede, An other man who namyd hym-selfe a ranger, And sayd all of hys crafte be farre brought in daunger, For lacke of lyvynge, whyche chefely ys wynde-fall. But he playnely sayth there bloweth no wynde at al, D iv 1085 Wherfore he desyreth, for encrease of theyr fleesys,[217] Extreme rage of wynde, trees to tere in peces. Then came a water-myller and he cryed out For water and sayde the wynde was so stout The rayne could not fale, wherfore he made request 1090 For plenty of rayne, to set the wynde at rest. And then, syr, there came a wynde myller in, Who sayde for the rayne he could no wynde wyn, The water he wysht to be banysht all, Besechynge your grace of wynde contynuall. 1095 Then came there an other that wolde banysh all this A goodly dame, an ydyll thynge iwys. Wynde, rayne, nor froste, nor sonshyne, wold she have, But fayre close wether, her beautye to save. Then came there a-nother that lyveth by laundry, 1100 Who muste have wether hote & clere here clothys to dry. Then came there a boy for froste and snow contynuall, Snow to make snow ballys and frost for his pytfale, For whyche, god wote, he seweth full gredely. Your fyrst man wold have wether clere and not wyndy; 1105 The seconde the same, save cooles[218] to blow meanly; The thyrd desyred stormes and wynde moste extremely; The fourth all in water and wolde have no wynde; The fyft no water, but al wynde to grynde; The syxt wold have none of all these, nor no bright son; 1110 The seventh extremely the hote son wold have wonne; The eyght, and the last, for frost & snow he prayd. Byr lady, we shall take shame, I am a-frayd! Who marketh in what maner this sort is led May thynke yt impossyble all to be sped. 1115 This nomber is smale, there lacketh twayne of ten, And yet, by the masse, amonge ten thousand men No one thynge could stande more wyde from the tother; Not one of theyr sewtes agreeth wyth an other. I promyse you, here is a shrewed pece of warke. 1120 This gere wyll trye wether ye be a clarke. Yf ye trust to me, yt is a great foly; For yt passeth my braynes, by goddes body!

_Jupyter._ Son, thou haste ben dylygent and done so well, That thy labour is ryght myche thanke-worthy. D iv _b_ 1125 But be thou suer we nede no whyt thy counsell, For in ourselfe we have foresene remedy, Whyche thou shalt se. But, fyrste, departe hence quyckly To the gentylman and all other sewters here And commaunde them all before us to appere. 1130

_Mery-reporte._ That shall be no longer in doynge Then I am in commynge and goynge.

MERY-REPORTE _goth out_.

_Jupyter._ Suche debate as from above ye have herde, Suche debate beneth amonge your selfes ye se; As longe as heddes from temperaunce be deferd, 1135 So longe the bodyes in dystemperaunce be, This perceyve ye all, but none can helpe save we. But as we there have made peace concordantly, So woll we here now gyve you remedy.

MERY-REPORTE _and al the sewters entreth_.

_Mery-reporte._ If I hadde caught them 1140 Or ever I raught[219] them, I wolde have taught them To be nere me; Full dere have I bought them, Lorde, so I sought them, 1145 Yet have I brought them, Suche as they be.

_Gentylman._ Pleaseth yt your majeste, lorde, so yt is, We, as your subjectes and humble sewters all, Accordynge as we here your pleasure is, 1150 Are presyd[220] to your presens, beynge principall Hed and governour of all in every place, Who joyeth not in your syght, no joy can have. Wherfore we all commyt us to your grace As lorde of lordes us to peryshe or save. 1155

_Jupyter._ As longe as dyscrecyon so well doth you gyde Obedyently to use your dewte, Dout ye not we shall your savete provyde, Your grevys we have harde, wherfore we sent for ye To receyve answere, eche man in his degre, 1160 And fyrst to content most reason yt is, The fyrste man that sewde, wherfore marke ye this,

Oft shall ye have the wether clere and styll To hunt in for recompens of your payne. D v Also you marchauntes shall have myche your wyll. 1165 For oft-tymes, when no wynde on lande doth remayne, Yet on the see pleasaunt cooles you shall obtayne. And syns your huntynge maye rest in the nyght, Oft shall the wynde then ryse, and before daylyght

It shall ratyll downe the wood, in suche case 1170 That all ye rangers the better lyve may; And ye water-myllers shall obtayne this grace Many tymes the rayne to fall in the valey, When at the selfe tymes on hyllys we shall purvey Fayre wether for your wyndmilles, with such coolys of wynde As in one instant both kyndes of mylles may grynde. 1176

And for ye fayre women, that close wether wold have, We shall provyde that ye may suffycyently Have tyme to walke in, and your beauty save; And yet shall ye have, that lyveth by laundry, 1180 The hote sonne oft ynough your clothes to dry. Also ye, praty chylde, shall have both frost and snow, Now marke this conclusyon, we charge you arow.[221]

Myche better have we now devysed for ye all Then ye all can perceve, or coude desyre. 1185 Eche of you sewd to have contynuall Suche wether as his crafte onely doth requyre, All wethers in all places yf men all tymes myght hyer, Who could lyve by other? what is this neglygens Us to atempt in suche inconvenyens. 1190

Now, on the tother syde, yf we had graunted The full of some one sewt and no mo, And from all the rest the wether had forbyd, Yet who so hadde obtayned had wonne his owne wo. There is no one craft can preserve man so, 1195 But by other craftes, of necessyte, He muste have myche parte of his commodyte.

All to serve at ones and one destroy a nother, D v _b_ Or ellys to serve one and destroy all the rest, Nother wyll we do the tone nor the tother 1200 But serve as many, or as few, as we thynke best; And where, or what tyme, to serve moste or leste, The dyreccyon of that doutles shall stande Perpetually in the power of our hande.

Wherfore we wyll the hole worlde to attende 1205 Eche sorte on suche wether as for them doth fall, Now one, now other, as lyketh us to sende. Who that hath yt, ply[222] it, and suer we shall So gyde the wether in course to you all, That eche wyth other ye shall hole[223] remayne 1210 In pleasure and plentyfull welth, certayne.

_Gentylman._ Blessed was the tyme wherin we were borne, Fyrst for the blysfull chaunce of your godly presens. Next for our sewt was there never man beforne That ever harde so excellent a sentens 1215 As your grace hath gevyn to us all arow, Wherin your hyghnes hath so bountyfully Dystrybuted my parte that your grace shall know, Your selfe sooll[224] possessed of hertes of all chyvalry.

_Marchaunt._ Lyke-wyse we marchauntes shall yeld us holy,[225] 1220 Onely to laude the name of Jupyter As god of all goddes, you to serve soolly; For of every thynge, I se, you are norysher.

_Ranger._ No dout yt is so, for so we now fynde; Wherin your grace us rangers so doth bynde, 1225 That we shall gyve you our hertes with one accorde, For knowledge to know you as our onely lorde.

_Water Myller._ Well, I can no more, but "for our water We shall geve your lordshyp our ladyes sauter."

_Wynde Myller._ Myche have ye bounde us; for, as I be saved, We have all obteyned better then we craved. 1231

_Gentylwoman._ That is trew, wherfore your grace shal trewly The hertes of such as I am have surely.

_Launder._ And suche as I am, who be as good as you, His hyghness shall be suer on, I make a vow.[226] 1235

_Boy._ Godfather god, I wyll do somewhat for you agayne. D vi By Cryste, ye maye happe to have a byrd or twayne, And I promyse you, yf any snow come, When I make my snow ballys ye shall have some.

_Mery-reporte._ God thanke your lordshyp. Lo, how this is brought to pas! 1240 Syr, now shall ye have the wether even as yt was.

_Jupyter._ We nede no whyte our selfe any farther to bost, For our dedes declare us apparauntly. Not onely here on yerth, in every cost, But also above in the hevynly company, 1245 Our prudens hath made peace unyversally, Whyche thynge we sey, recordeth us as pryncypall God and governour of heven, yerth, and all. Now unto that heven we woll make retourne, When we be gloryfyed most tryumphantly, 1250 Also we woll all ye that on yerth sojourne, Syns cause gyveth cause to knowe us your lord onely, And nowe here to synge moste joyfully, Rejoycynge in us, and in meane tyme we shall Ascende into our trone celestyall. 1255

FINIS.

Printed by W. Rastell.

1533.

_Cum privilegio._

FOOTNOTES:

[98] _I.e._ of the audience as representing mankind.

[99] For use as a plural cf. l. 347 'besecheth,' 844 'ye doth.'

[100] The dispensers respectively of frost, sunshine, wind, and rain.

[101] placed on record.

[102] powers, not 'pores.'

[103] that which they have experienced.

[104] conclusion.

[105] _I.e._ some one in the audience.

[106] Said to one of the attendants.

[107] The phrase in alphabet-learning for a letter sounded by itself; cf. _Wily Beguiled_: "A _per se_ A" (Hawkins' Origin of English Drama, 3: 357. Oxford: 1772).

[108] matters.

[109] frieze.

[110] sweeting, sweetheart.

[111] separated.

[112] impartial.

[113] out of good fellowship.

[114] the end.

[115] equivalent to stanza.

[116] clownish rascals.

[117] Louvain.

[118] In Herts.

[119] Perhaps one of the numerous Barfords.

[120] In Notts.

[121] In Essex.

[122] Tottenham.

[123] In Suffolk.

[124] Near Woolwich.

[125] Witham, in Essex.

[126] Bristol.

[127] Possibly Gravelye near Baldock.

[128] There is a parish of Buttsbury in Essex: 'ynge Gyngiang Jayberd' defies explanation.

[129] Have given notice to the petitioners to appear. The 'cry' is supposed to have been made outside.

[130] mastership.

[131] the audience.

[132] journeying.

[133] rouse the game.

[134] call off after a kill.

[135] avail.

[136] clyster, purge.

[137] parson.