Part 25
"There are no patriotic gifts now made for carrying on the war in France!--no bodkins, scissors, thimbles, rings, and necklaces! The Army is left to shift for itself: and, if they cannot plunder a day's subsistence, they must fast."--(_Times, Feby. 9, 1793._)
* * * * *
"In the year 1782, when Mr. Fox gave notice of motion on the state of the nation, the House was filled at an early hour to an overflow. But on a similar notice, from the same person, in 1793, there were not sufficient Members to make a House, and the Speaker adjourned to next day. Tempora mutantur."--(_Times, Feb. 9, 1793._)
* * * * *
"QUERIES.
"Why is opposition like a stumbling horse?
Because it is broken down.
Why is Lord Lansdowne like a man with the gout?
Because his mind is engrossed by _Paine_.
Why is the National Assembly of France like a Crocodile?
Because it deceives, in order to destroy.
Why is Mr. Courtney like an apothecary's bill?
Because he is _ditto repeated_ on all occasions.
Why is Mr. Erskine like the first two words of the beginning of the Eclogues of Virgil?
Because he commences with _Ille Ego_.
Why is _Michael Angelo Taylor_ like a barrel organ?
Because any person can play upon him.
Why is Lord Courtney like Narcissus?
Because he is in love with himself.
Why is Mrs. Sturt like a young kitten?
Because she is fond of play.
Why is the Club at _Brookes's_ like cannibals?
Because they prey one upon another.
Why is Mrs. Siddons like the late Sir Joshua Reynolds?
Because she deceives the public into a belief that art is nature.
Why is Lord Wycombe an advocate for peace?
Because his father made _nothing_ until he put an end to the war.
Why are the Members of Opposition like the live stock of a Register Office?
Because they _want places_."--(_Times, Feb. 9, 1793._)
* * * * *
"In days of yore, Lady Wallace would have been burnt for a witch from the prophecies, now verified, which she published a year ago, in a letter to her son:--She foretold that the _Prince_ would soon throw off the corrupt ministers to his youthful pleasures, and shew himself the protector of that happy Government, which alone can insure the wealth, freedom, and glory, of England! She says, "he will emerge in all the splendour which attends the noon-day sun, after having dispersed the clouds exhaled from foul vapours beneath him." She foretold that the united forces would not succeed in their attack upon France: that England must inevitably be speedily involved in war, from the convulsed state of the Continent:--She said, that if foreign Powers would take no hostile part against the French, that they would prey like wolves upon each other, and do more towards a Counterrevolution, by their frenzy being vented in internal discord, than all Europe would ever force them to do. It was her Ladyship who first boldly exposed to a great personage, and society, _Egalité's_ crimes, and foretold, that, after having washed his daggers in Royal blood at Paris, he would send his hireling ruffians to attempt like horrors here! truths which are well known now, although they appeared then incredible. Her information when on the Continent, and knowledge of foreign politics, are most accurate, and valuable."--(_Times, Feb. 12, 1793._)
* * * * *
"The _first speech_ Mr. Grey ever delivered in Parliament, was on the subject of the Commercial Treaty with France. _At that time_ Mr. Grey expressed, in very forcible language, his abhorrence of any connexion _whatever_ with the French, and, strongly insisting on their inbred hatred to this country, declared, they were a perfidious, and treacherous, people, and on no account to be trusted."--(_Times, Feb. 14, 1793._)
* * * * *
"On Mr. Grey, being the only Man not in Mourning in the House of Commons, on a late melancholy occasion."--(_Times, Feb. 14, 1793._)
"'Twas unfeeling forsooth, Every Man in the House Was in mourning, but one who drest gay; As he would not be Black, He'll be made to look Blue, A mixture which forms a bad Grey."
* * * * *
"It is said that there have been one hundred and twenty-one Changes in the Peerage since the commencement of Mr. Hastings's trial in 1788."--(_Times, Feb. 18, 1793._)
* * * * *
"An Expostulation with John Bull, in favour of the Marquis of L--nsd--n:--
"Of the Candidates John for thy favour of late, Among all who are noble, and wish to be great, Sure L--nsd--n, with reason may fairly complain, That his merits could never your confidence gain! The Moralists too, will confess with a tear, That Virtue performs but a Pilgrimage here! Else had L--nsd--n long since been possess'd of that pow'r Which England took from him, in splenetic hour. He was always a Friend to his Country's Cause, The prop of her Church, the support of her Laws; He ne'er with Republicans chose to accord, And his Foes never call'd him the Levelling Lord. He made the fam'd Peace of the year Eighty Three, A Peace, John, as good for himself, as for thee. In his speech he is open, and candid no doubt, For which side he espouses, no man can find out; Whether Whig, whether Tory, of High Church, or Low; You may puzzle your brains, but you never will know. As a proof that the Marquis is no Partizan, Let the world call six persons his Friends--if it can.[18] Great Jekyll, that man so renowned at the Bar, More witty than Fielding, more learned than Parr, Who punning despises, as L--nsd--n does place, Says, his Patron's pure mind, is as fair as his face, That his Bounty and Eloquence equally flow, To comfort the Weak, and to succour the Low. Yet this eloquent speaker, this statesman so just, No Sect will confide in, no Party will trust; And I speak it, alas! with reproach to mankind, To his Merits and Virtue, his Country is blind! And when full of honours and Years he shall die, Ungrateful Britannia, will not heave a sigh; Nay, perhaps with a sneer, she may scoffingly say, The Sun of my Glory, is faded away!![19]
"ZTIF."
--(_Times, Feb. 16, 1793._)
[Footnote 18: We imagine Political Friends must here be alluded to--for the amiable and endearing qualities of the Marquis's sympathising heart, must have insured him, in private life, the warm affections of all his relations and dependants.]
[Footnote 19: At the conclusion of the American War, when the noble Marquis came into power, he emphatically said "the Sun of England's Glory was set for ever," and many grave people entertained that opinion during the short time his Lordship was Minister of this Country.]
* * * * *
"No less than eighty four actions of _bribery_ are brought on the business of the _Stockbridge_ election; the penalties sued for amount to £42,000."--(_Times, Feb. 28, 1793._)
* * * * *
"'Want of information is our bane,' says the female politician in the _Humourist_: but the following anecdote, which is a fact, will prove that want of information is not numbered among the wants of Administration. A Young Gentleman, Clerk in an Office under Government, in consequence of strong entreaties from a friend, accompanied him to a meeting of about thirty, at a tavern, when, after dinner, several very seditious toasts were given, the visitor was called on, and gave the King; this toast, however, being rejected, and all expostulations proving in vain, he left the company soon after, and the next day, by the advice of his friends, waited on Mr. Pitt, to tell his story. But, judge his surprise, when the Minister, interrupting him, produced a paper, in which was written the names of the parties, the order in which they sate, the toasts drank, and here, sir, added Mr. Pitt, observe your own name placed at the bottom!!!"--(_Times, March 5, 1794._)
* * * * *
"Diamond cut Diamond.--Dr. Priestly, we will not say lately, gave 'the _Sans Culottes of England_' at a dinner party. A Clergyman of the Church of England, willing to get rid of politics, archly exclaimed--'Yes, with all my heart, I presume you mean the single ladies, for the married ones generally wear the breeches.' The wit being called upon in his turn, Dr. Priestley desired the President to be on his guard, for he saw plainly that the Clergyman, if presented with an INCH, would take an ELL. 'Thank you for the hint, Doctor,' replied the Clerical Humourist. 'Yes, I'll take three L's, so here's Liberty, Loyalty, and Lawn Sleeves!' The room, of course, was in a roar, and the Doctor, quite SHOCKED, went off like lightning without a CONDUCTOR."--(_Times, March 4, 1794._)
* * * * *
"The late contest at _Wycombe_, between Sir F. Baring and Mr. Dashwood, was carried on to a very high pitch by the mob. Lord Wycombe was thrown down in the mud. Mr. Dashwood lost his hat in the affray, and all was confusion and riot. The _Lansdowne_ interest, however, prevailed, and Sir Francis was returned."--(_Times, Feb. 7, 1794._)
* * * * *
"Sir Francis Baring is elected Member for _High Wycombe_, in the room of Sir John Jervis. Sir Francis was opposed by Sir John Dashwood. The votes were, for Sir F. B. 29, Sir John D. 22."--(_Times, Feb. 5, 1794._)
* * * * *
"The _Society for Constitutional Information_, held a meeting at the Crown and Anchor, in the Strand, on Friday last, where toasts of the most seditious tendency were drunk, and sentiments expressed which ought to send the speakers to Botany Bay. The number of seditionists who met on the above occasion, amounted to 300 persons; among whom were not to be found above three who possessed an acre of land in this country. They were men mostly in desperate circumstances, who had everything to gain, and nothing to lose, by a Revolution. They toasted success to the French, sung the _Marseillois treasonable Hymn_, and _Ça ira_, arraigned the justice of the law that had punished traitors in Scotland, Ireland, and England, and gave the health of those traitors. They abused and vilified the House of Commons, called the Royal Family, and the Nobility of Great Britain, beggars: said it was the interest of the people to join with those struggling in the cause against which our Country was fighting. In short they did everything short of _active rebellion_."--(_Times, May 5, 1794._)
* * * * *
"On a lamp post, in the Westminster-Road, is a paper with the Title of Public Notice, respecting some parish business, and immediately underneath it, is Sir Joseph Mawbey's late speech at Epsom. Two sailors stopping on Sunday to read it, when one had began, the other cried out--'Stop, Jack: you're wrong, don't you see it is _beneath_ Public Notice?' alluding to the paper above it: and they both walked away."--(_Times, Nov. 3, 1794._)
A Reform Bill was sorely needed in the matters of Elections.
"Election for _Launceston, Cornwall_. Candidates, Hon. Mr. Rawdon, Mr. Brogden. The numbers were as follows:--
Hon. Mr. Rawden and Mr. Brogden, 12. Dalkeith and Garthshore, 11.
"This contest here was a hard fought battle between the Duke of Northumberland and the Duke of Buccleugh. Both parties have spent a great deal of money: but the former has carried the day."--(_Times, June 6, 1796._)
* * * * *
"_Shrewsbury Election._--The state of the Poll on Monday was as follows:--Sir W. Pulteney, 1607; John Hill, Esq., 834; Hon. W. Hill, 832. The Election, it is thought, will cost Sir Richard Hill £100,000. The expence to each party is about £1000 per day."--(_Times, June 9, 1796._)
* * * * *
"A certain new Member for a Borough in the West of England, is indebted to the family Jewels of his wife for bearing the expence of his Election. Not only her diamonds, but the greater part of her cloaths have been withheld. Those that were returned to her, would have disgraced her waiting woman."--(_Times, July 4, 1796._)
* * * * *
"Yesterday conformable to an ancient ridiculous custom, came on the Election, at Wandsworth, for a Mayor of Garratt. The candidates were two--Sir _George Cooke_, Greengrocer and Inhabitant of Lambeth: and Sir _Harry Dimsdale_, a Muffin Baker. Sir _George_ set off from his house in the morning, surrounded by all the appendages of grandeur, and placed in an open landau, drawn by six beautiful horses, with postillions on the first four, elegantly attired in red. A coach and four preceded him all the way in equal style.
"After he had arrived at the entrance of Wandsworth, his horses were taken out by the mob, and he was drawn by them to the Hustings, where he joined his opponent, who was little short of Sir _George_ in point of _etiquette_. After a long preamble from each party, promising unremitting attention to the duties of the office, the honours of the day were conferred on Sir George Cooke."--(_Times, Aug. 25, 1796._)
* * * * *
"Garrat Election.--Most of the Morning Prints of yesterday misstated this business. It was Sir _Harry Dimsdale_, and not Sir _George_ Cooke, who was returned. Those who supported Sir George, did not even put him in nomination. He was drawn there, it is true, but he made no stand: he gave up the contest, and Sir Harry was crowned with a green bough, and the horses taken from his carriage by the populace, who drew him in triumph to the Bull, at East Sheen, to dinner, where above six hundred people sat down to a plentiful dinner. After dinner, it was proposed that Sir Harry should go, on Friday, in State, to the Royal Circus, in St. George's Fields, and this motion being carried, we understand the Muffin Knight will actually be there this evening."--(_Times, Aug. 26, 1796._)
This was the last of these mock elections--and we may well pause for a while, and examine this curious institution--unique in its way--not thoroughly well-known--and whose origin, even, is in dispute.
Not far from Wandsworth, on the road to Tooting, is found the hamlet of Garrett, or Garrat, which, in the time of Queen Elizabeth, appears to have consisted of a single house, called "the Garvett." This was, at the time of its destruction, about the year 1760, in the possession of the Broderick family, and its grounds were then let to a market gardener. Lyson's, writing in 1792, says the hamlet consisted of about 50 houses--but it grew until it became incorporated into Wandsworth, and its site is still known by "Garret Lane," "Garret Green," "Garret Hill," &c.
As regards the curious mock election which took place here with each new Parliament, nothing certain is known, and opinions are divided, as to its origin. Dr. Ducarel, an antiquary, writing in 1754, tells us, that as far as he can find out, it began, some 60 or 70 years previously, with some Wandsworth Watermen, who went to a public house, called the Leather Bottle, at Garrat, to spend a merry day--and, it being a general election, they, in fun, chose one of their number as Member for Garrat.
Another version is given in the "Gentleman's Magazine" for 1781, in which a writer says he was told, that about thirty years previously, several persons who lived near that part of Wandsworth which adjoins to Garrat Lane, had formed a kind of Club, not merely for the pleasures of the table, but to concert measures for removing the encroachments made on that part of the Common; and to prevent any others being made, for the future. When a sufficient sum of money had been subscribed amongst them, they brought an action against the encroacher, in the name of the president (or, as they called him, Mayor,) of the Club. They gained their suit, with costs, and, ever after, the president, was called "the Mayor of Garrat." This event happening at the time of a general election, the ceremony, which took place every new parliament, of choosing _outdoor_ members for the borough of Garrat, was continued.
The earliest record of Members being chosen, is in 1747, when three Candidates for the honour appeared. Lord Twankum Squire Blow me down (Willis, a Waterman) and Squire Gubbins, (one Simmonds, a publican.) The "Clerk," and "Recorder," issued from an imaginary Town Hall. There were proper Hustings, at which an oath was administered to the electors which, according to Grose, was sworn on a brick bat--and the qualification was, that the juror had had an amour in the surrounding open fields.
There was a great deal of rough wit in the candidate's speeches, and Foote, Garrick, and Wilkes, were credited with writing their addresses. Foote even wrote a play, called "the Mayor of Garratt," which was produced at Drury Lane. There were elections in 1761, 1763, 1768, &c. That of 1781--was famous for the magnificence of its procession--having a real live man in armour. In 1784, Sir Jeffrey Dunstan (they all dubbed themselves knights) was elected to the honourable post, and he held it till his death in 1796.
This worthy needs a passing notice. His birth, and education, were but humble, for he was found, wrapped in a cloth, on the door step of a Church warden, of St. Dunstan's in the East--hence his name of Dunstan. He grew up deformed, and rickety, and, at the age of 12, was apprenticed to a greengrocer, for 9 years--but the servitude galled him, and he ran away, finding employment at Birmingham. He returned to London in 1776 and soon afterwards married--and had two daughters, who were really fine young women. He was squalid, and filthy, in his dress, and got his living by buying, and selling, old wigs. His humour, however, gained him his election for Garrett. The accompanying illustrations shew him in his ordinary dress, as "Old Wigs," and in the superb court suit which he sported at election times.
The Election, at last, led to such disgraceful scenes, that even the publicans, who were its chief mainstay, would no longer support it: and Sir Harry Dimsdale, holds the proud pre-eminence of being the last elected Member.
ROYALTY.
Lives of the Georges, and their families, have been written _ad nauseam_, and I did not intend making any notes upon the Royal personages, then living--but I found some few paragraphs, which lie outside regular history, and may interest my readers.
"It was rather unfortunate for the Prince of Wales's proxy at the Court of Brunswick, that he should be attacked with the Gout, on the night of the marriage ceremony! Lord Malmesbury continued to be confined to his room when the last accounts came from Brunswick."--(_Times, Dec. 15, 1794._)
* * * * *
"TO LORD MALMESBURY,
"On his being attacked by the Gout, the day he represented the Prince of Wales, in marriage with the Princess of Brunswick:--
"At such a time, the Gout to have, Is much to be lamented, What must the Royal Bride conceive Of him you represented?
CUPID."
--(_Times, Dec. 16, 1794._)
* * * * *
"LORD MALMESBURY'S GOUT.
"His Lordship's sent to _Brunswick's_ Court By Proxy, there to wed A Royal Princess: as Consort To George, our Prince's, bed.
But charms like hers, in bloom of life, Too strong for age to meet: As he approached th' intended wife: _Deprived him of his feet._"
--(_Times, Dec. 17, 1794._)
* * * * *
"THE LAME LOVER, or BRITISH AND FRENCH SYNONIMY.
"With coach and six, with servants eight, With liveries spic and span; Too sure, alas! a wretched fate Befel the splendid, _happy_ man. At such a time, as this, the Gout! 'Twas pity, Sirs, and yet 'tis true: The _Proxy's_ good, if Fame's not out-- His Royal Highness has a _Gout_."
--(_Times, Dec. 18, 1794._)
* * * * *
"Her Majesty is very busily employed in embroidering a coat and waistcoat, for his Majesty, which are to be worn at the approaching nuptials of the Prince, and Princess of Wales. The coat is made of garter blue, broad cloth, and the waistcoat of white satin. The ornamental part is spoken of as being extremely beautiful."--(_Times, Jan. 13, 1795._)
* * * * *
"The usual dress liveries of the Prince of Wales, while a bachelor, cost fifty guineas each: those, in which they will appear before the Princess, have cost one hundred guineas each."--(_Times, March 17, 1795._)
* * * * *
"Amidst the _curious bills_ which are daily being brought to light, under the investigation of the Prince's Trustees, is one of Mr. Layton the _farrier_, which, for the last seven years, amounts to no less than £17,500!"--(_Times, Aug. 29, 1795._)
* * * * *
"The King being prevented, by the severity of the weather, from taking his usual diversion of hunting, at Windsor, his Majesty, with his usual suite, makes daily pedestrian excursions, some of which amount to a route little short of 20 miles."--(_Times, Dec. 9, 1796._)
The _Times_ of Jan. 17, 1798, contains a paragraph, showing the domesticity, and simplicity of life, in the Royal Family.
"The Princess of Wirtemberg expects to lie in, towards the latter end of next month; and her Majesty, and the Princesses, are very busily employed in making the childbed linen, which is to be a present from the Queen."
* * * * *
(The Queen's Birthday.)
"The BALL-ROOM. The Ball was the thinnest, in company, that we have ever witnessed, there being only two Ladies on the benches allotted for those who dance. Neither the Prince, nor Princess, of Wales, the Duke, or Duchess of York, were present. Soon after nine o'clock, their Majesties entered the Ball-room. The Duke of Clarence danced the two first minuets with the Princess Augusta, and two more with the Princess Elizabeth, which is very unusual. Prince William danced the next two with the Princess Mary, and two more with the Princess Sophia. Lord Morton then danced two dances with Lady Murray, daughter to the Duke of Athol, and two more with Lady M. Thynne. There were four country Dances, but only six couple. The Ball broke up soon after 11 o'clock."--(_Times, Jan. 19, 1798._)
Here is a specimen of Royal economy, which was certainly unpopular:--