Chapter 15

'marble maidens'; they always put me in mind of Lot's wife.”

“Eh! Mrs. Lot?” interrupted Lawless, coming up to us: “why was she like me? do you give it up? Because she got into a pretty pickle--there's a riddle for you. I say, I made a nice mess of it just now, didn't I? that's what comes of going to these confounded balls. The fact was,” he continued, sinking his voice, “the filly bolted with me; she took uncommon kindly to the champagne at supper; in consequence, she was so fresh when we started that I couldn't hold her; she kept pushing on faster and faster, till at last she was fairly off with me; we did very well as long as we stuck to the open country, but at last we contrived to get among some very awkward fences; the first stiff bit of timber we came to she made a rush at, and down we came, gate--I mean table, candlestick, and all, a regular smash; and to make matters worse, one of the candles set the other young woman's petticoat alight.”

“In fact, after a very severe run, you were nearly being in at the death,” suggested Coleman.

~127~~“By Jove, it was nothing to laugh at, though!” remarked Lawless; “she'd have been regularly cooked, if Prank Fairlegh hadn't put her out when he did, and I should have been tried for 'Unjustifiable Girl-icide,' or 'Maliciously setting fire to a marriageable female,' or some such thing; and I daresay the young woman wasn't insured anywhere: I should have got into a pretty mess; it would have been a worse job than breaking Shrimp.”

“Frederick, look here!” cried Lucy Markham, who was passing the place where we stood; “see how Mr. Fairlegh's sleeve is scorched; surely,” she continued, turning to me, “your arm must be injured.”

“It begins to feel rather painful,” replied I; “but I daresay it's nothing to signify.”

“Come to my room,” exclaimed Freddy anxiously; “why did you not mention it before?”

“Really I scarcely felt it in the excitement of the moment,” returned I; “it can't be of any consequence.”

On removing the coat-sleeve, however, a somewhat considerable burn was apparent, extending about half way from the wrist to the elbow, and which, the moment it was exposed to the air, became excessively painful.

Fortunately, among the guests who had not yet taken their departure was the surgeon of the neighbourhood, who was speedily summoned, and who, after having applied the proper remedies, recommended me to carry my arm in a sling for a few days, at the end of which time, he assured me, it would cause me little inconvenience.

As it was, by great good luck, my left arm which was injured, I submitted to this mandate with tolerable resignation, and returned to the drawing-room to be pitied by the tongues of the old, and the bright eyes of the young ladies, to an extent which (as at that time of day I was somewhat addicted to the vice of shyness) was more flattering than agreeable.

It was between two and three o'clock when Lawless and I prepared to take our departure for the inn at which we were to sleep. Being a lovely night Coleman volunteered to accompany us for the sake of the walk, telling the servants not to sit up for him, as he had a latch-key in his pocket--an article, regarding the possession of which a constant civil war was carried on between his mother and himself, wherein by dint of sundry well-contrived stratagems, and deeply laid schemes, he invariably gained the victory.

“I tell you what,” said Lawless, “the row and bother, ~128~~and the whole kick-up altogether, has made me alarmingly hungry; the only decent bit of chicken I managed to lay hands on at supper Di Clapperton ate: precious twist that girl has, to be sure; even after all the ground she's been over to-night, going a topping pace the whole time too, she wasn't a bit off her feed; didn't she walk into the ham sandwiches--that's all! I'd rather keep her for a week than a fortnight, I can tell you; she'd eat her head off in a month, and no mistake. Here, waiter,” he continued, “have you got anything to eat in the house?”

“Yes, sir, splendid barrel of oysters down by coach last night; capital brown stout, sir--real Guinness's!”

“That's it, my man,” was the rejoinder; “trot 'em out, by all means. Freddy, old boy,” he continued, “come along in with us, and have some.”

“Well, I don't mind astonishing the natives for once in a way,” replied Freddy; “but it's dreadfully debauched, eating oysters and drinking porter at this time of day or night, whichever you are pleased to call it; you'll ruin my morals.”

“The devil fly away with your morals, and he won't be overloaded either,” was the polite rejoinder; and in we all went together. The oysters and porter soon made their appearance, and had ample justice done them; then, as a matter of course, spirits and water and cigars were produced, “just to prevent the oysters from disagreeing with us”; and we sat talking over old times, and relating various adventures which had occurred to us since, without troubling our heads about the flight of minutes. At length Coleman, pulling out his watch, exclaimed: “Past four o'clock, by the powers! I must be getting to bed--I've got a lease to draw to-morrow, and my head won't be over-clear as it is.”

“Nonsense,” replied Lawless; “bed's all a popular delusion; we can't be better off than we are--sit still.” But on Coleman's persisting in his wish to depart, Lawless continued: “Well, take another glass, and then Frank and I will walk home with you, and see you safe, for it's my belief that you're getting 'screwed.,' or you'd never think of going to bed”. Freddy and I exchanged glances, for if any of our party were in the condition expressed by the mysterious word “screwed,” it certainly was Lawless himself. After sitting some little time longer, we once more sallied forth, with the avowed intention of seeing Coleman home. ~129~~