SCENE IV.

_Enter_ GENTLEMAN-USHER _and_ PHYSICIAN.

_Ush._ Come, sir; let's state the matter of fact, and lay our heads together.

_Phys._ Right; lay our heads together. I love to be merry sometimes; but when a knotty point comes, I lay my head close to it, with a snuff-box in my hand; and then I fegue it away, i'faith.

_Bayes._ I do just so, egad, always.

_Ush._ The grand question is, whether they heard us whisper? which I divide thus.

_Phys._ Yes, it must be divided so indeed.

_Smith._ That's very complaisant, I swear, Mr. Bayes, to be of another man's opinion, before he knows what it is.

_Bayes._ Nay, I bring in none here but well-bred persons, I assure you.

_Ush._ I divide the question into when they heard, what they heard, and whether they heard or no.

_Johns._ Most admirably divided, I swear!

_Ush._ As to the when; you say, just now: so that is answer'd. Then, as for what; why, that answers itself; for what could they hear, but what we talk'd of? so that, naturally, and of necessity, we come to the last question, _videlicet_, whether they heard or no.

_Smith._ This is a very wise scene, Mr. Bayes.

_Bayes._ Ay, you have it right; they are both politicians.

_Ush._ Pray, then, to proceed in method, let me ask you that question.

_Phys._ No, you'll answer better; pray let me ask it you.

_Ush._ Your will must be a law.

_Phys._ Come, then, what is't I must ask?

_Smith._ This politician, I perceive, Mr. Bayes, has somewhat a short memory.

_Bayes._ Why, sir, you must know, that t'other is the main politician, and this is but his pupil.

_Ush._ You must ask me whether they heard us whisper.

_Phys._ Well, I do so.

_Ush._ Say it then.

_Smith._ Heyday! here's the bravest work that ever I saw.

_Johns._ This is mighty methodical.

_Bayes._ Ay, sir; that's the way; 'tis the way of art; there is no other way, egad, in business.

_Phys._ Did they hear us whisper?

_Ush._ Why, truly, I can't tell; there's much to be said upon the word whisper: to whisper in Latin is _susurrare_, which is as much as to say, to speak softly; now, if they heard us speak softly, they heard us whisper; but then comes in the _quomodo_, the _how_; how did they hear us whisper? why as to that, there are two ways: the one, by chance or accident; the other, on purpose; that is, with design to hear us whisper.

_Phys._ Nay, if they heard us that way, I'll never give them physic more.

_Ush._ Nor I e'er more will walk abroad before 'em.

_Bayes._ Pray mark this, for a great deal depends upon it, towards the latter end of the play.

_Smith._ I suppose that's the reason why you brought in this scene, Mr. Bayes.

_Bayes._ Partly, it was, sir; but I confess I was not unwilling, besides, to show the world a pattern, here, how men should talk of business.

_Johns._ You have done it exceeding well indeed.

_Bayes._ Yes, I think this will do.

_Phys._ Well, if they heard us whisper, they will turn us out, and nobody else will take us.

_Smith._ Not for politicians, I dare answer for it.

_Phys._ Let's then no more ourselves in vain bemoan: We are not safe until we them unthrone.

_Ush._ 'Tis right: And, since occasion now seems debonair, I'll seize on this, and you shall take that chair.

[_They draw their swords, and sit in the two great chairs upon the stage._

_Bayes._ There's now an odd surprise; the whole state's turned quite topsy-turvy, without any pother or stir in the whole world, egad.[17]

_Johns._ A very silent change of government, truly, as ever I heard of.

_Bayes._ It is so. And yet you shall see me bring 'em in again, by-and-by, in as odd a way every jot.

[_The Usurpers march out, flourishing their swords._

_Enter_ SHIRLY.

_Shir._ Heyho! heyho! what a change is here! heyday, heyday! I know not what to do, nor what to say.[18] [_Exit._

_Johns._ Mr. Bayes, in my opinion, now, that gentleman might have said a little more upon this occasion.

_Bayes._ No, sir, not at all; for I underwrit his part on purpose to set off the rest.

_Johns._ Cry you mercy, sir.

_Smith._ But pray, sir, how came they to depose the kings so easily?

_Bayes._ Why, sir, you must know, they long had a design to do it before; but never could put it in practice till now: and to tell you true, that's one reason why I made 'em whisper so at first.

_Smith._ Oh, very well; now I'm fully satisfied.

_Bayes._ And then to show you, sir, it was not done so very easily neither, in the next scene you shall see some fighting.

_Smith._ Oh, oh; so then you make the struggle to be after the business is done?

_Bayes._ Ay.

_Smith._ Oh, I conceive you: that, I swear, is very natural.