Chapter 3
so i sed she sed that if the minister had to fite with about leven milion flise evry day in summer for evrything he et or drank she bet he woodent preech god made the little fli and then the minister he sed but my dear boy god did make the little fli dont you reelise that and i sed and god made swallows and kingbirds and leest flicatchers and spiders, what have you got to say about that. i had him there but father sed no imperdence young man tell us all. so i went on and told all about it, what Pewt sed and what Beany sed and what i sed and what we done. 2 or 3 times father had to coff awful and wipe his eyes. he sed he got sum pepper up his nose some how he dident know how. when i finished father sed you go to your room and i will see you laiter. so i went up stairs and wated a auful long time afrade father wood come up and lam time out of me. well bimeby Cele come up and sed very solum father wants to see you down stairs in the dining room. so i went down and there they all set at the table with a new super ready and the flise all flaped out. all but the minister. father he sed sit down boy and have sum super and i sed aint you going to lick me and he sed not if i know myself and i sed where is the minister and father he sed he has went home mad. i tride to get him to stay and eat super with us and i tride to get him to go to Hirvey's resterant and he asted me if i was going to punish you and i sed that was a matter between the boys mother and father and i gessed they wood have to settle that themselfs and the minister was mad and woodent stay.
mother she sed i dont think he was mad George, i think he was hert. father he laffed and sed well if i had acted so i wood have been mad but a minister was hurt. ennyway he will lern something some day i hoap. then he filled up our plates and we et and et and et and father told the funiest stories i ever heard. we laffed so we cood scarcely eet. that nite after i had went to my room father he come up to my room and opened the door and sed Harry are you awaik. i had heard him coming and put out the lite and gumped into bed. i sed yes sir and he sed
god made the little fli and if you crush it it will die
and then he shet the door and went to bed.
July 18, 186---i bet that old minister wont come to our house again verry soon. we are going back to the unitarial chirch. they have got a new quire there and Keene and Cele are going to sing in the unitarial quire. it will seem kind of good to be there again, and there aint enny meeting in the afternoon only sunday school. i dont cair mutch about sunday school becaus they dont lern us mutch there.
today i rode horseback with Ed Tole. he has got a little red pony not as big as Nellie. it can go like time. Ed rides it without a sadle. when i ride without a sadle and sturups it nearly splits me in too, and hirts my backboan. today we raced. Nellie can trot faster than Eds but Eds can run faster. i woodent swap ennyway.
July 19, 186---hot as time. today i met my uncle Robert. he aint my uncle Robert but is my fathers uncle. he is my great uncle so mother says. he aint half so big as my father. he is my grandfathers brother. my grandfather is dead. my uncle Robert aint quite. father says he is dead but dont know it.
well ennyway i met him and said how do you do uncle Robert and he sed whose boy are you and i sed i am George Shutes boy and he sed huh i hoap you will maik a better man than your father. i wanted to say sumthing sassy to him but if i had sed what i thought father wood have lammed time out of me. father always licks me for mispoliteness and imbehavior, so i jest looked at him scornful and tirned my back on him. he had went along so peraps he dident see me. i hoap he did. i bet my father is 5 times as good as uncle Robert. i asted mother and she sed i supose sum peeple wood say uncle Robert is best but i dont quite like his kind. i told father what uncle Robert sed and father laffed and sed i must not blame uncle Robert becaus after he was born they dident find it out for several weeks and so he got a bad start and hadent never cougt up. i wonder if that is true or one of fathers gokes i can always tell.
then father sed that Isac was a grate trile to uncle Robert he was so tuf, and Aunt Sarah she sed why George Shute you know that Isac never did a rong thing in his life and father sed no i gess he dident but if he had been aloud to go with me and Gim Melcher and Charles Talor and the rest of the boys we wood have made a man of Ike.
July 20, 186---father has bougt 2 sheep. mother sed what in the wirld do you want 2 sheep for and father he sed he got them cheep becaus they dident have enny lamns in March. father says they may have sum enny time now and i must keep my eye pealed.
I have wrote a poim about our sheep.
my father he has got 2 sheep he got them most almity cheep but if them sheep dont have no lamns he'll fill the air with feerful damns.
ain't that a pretty good poim. i bet Pewt coodent wright that or Beany eether.
July 21, brite and fair. i dont cair this time for it seems good to go to the Unitarial once more. i bet Beany is glad. i bet Pewt is two. i staid in the barn until chirch time feeding my sheep. Keene was mad and sed i smelt awful barny. Keene feels prety big becaus she aint got to set in the same phew with me. Beany got stang by a hornet in the organ lof and one side of his face was all swole up. evry time he wood look out everybody laffed. so after chirch old chipper Burly told him he coodent blow the organ ennymore becaus he made faces and made the peeple laff. so Beany has lost his gob again. it was two bad becaus Beany coodent help it. we are going to get up a partition to get Beany back.
July 22, 186---brite and fair. it is feerful dusty now and when we go across the street we stamp our feet and the dust comes up all over evrything. it is lots of fun when peeple are near you. went in swimming 4 times.
July 23. brite and fair. i had tuf luck today. first i got kept in the yard becaus i stamped some dust on 2 girls whitch was going down town in white dresses. mother heard them jawing me and come out and made me beg there pardon and she give them a brush and dusted them off and told me to stay in the yard all day. then this afternoon i dident have mutch to do xcept ho the garden. all the fellers was away fishing or swimming or buterfliing, so i dident have much to do and when old John Quincy Adams Polard went by all humped up over his cain i was picking buggs off the tomatoe plants and i jest coodent help it and let ding 2 joosy red tomatoes at him, the ferst whized by his head and he looked around jest in time to get 2th rite in the eye. well it squashed all over his face and he began to sware and to lam round with his cane and claw the tomatoe out of his eyes. then he come rite back to our house and i squat down behine the tomatoe plants. i was in a corner and coodent get out and he made for me with his old cain. i hollered for mother and she come out and stoped him after he had given me 2 bats and nocked down 3 tomatoe plants. well mother took him into the house and got sum water and towels and washed his face and promised to have his shert washed. then i had to beg his pardon. that made twice in one day. that is two mutch i think. then mother sent me to my room for the rest of the day. so i staid there reading for a awful long time and then i was trying to spit in the rane baril and mother caugt me and sent me to bed. a feller cant do nothing without being snached baldheaded.
July 23, 186---today we wrote a partition to get Beany back his gob. it read like this,
mister Chipper Burley. Beany wasent making up faces last sunday when the peeple laffed. he was bit by 2 yeller jacket hornits behine the organ and he done prety well not to holler rite out loud. most fellers wood have done it but not Beany. his face was all onesided and looked so funny that peeple coodent help laffin. his face is funy ennyway but peeple have got used to it when it aint swole up. Beany woodent have stuck his head out if he had gnew how he looked. he was not to blaim. so he wants his gob back and we hoap you wil let him come back. Yours very respectively.
well we got a lot of people to sine. Earl and Cutts and father and Mr. Healy and Pewts father and old man Dow and evrybody that read the partition sined it and slaped their leg and laffed. sum of them roared and sed i gess old Chipper will take notise of that.
well then we drawed lots to se whitch wood read the partition to Chipper and i drawed the shortest one. i always do so i am not sirprized. i am going up to Chips tomorrow.
July 24. brite and fair. i went up to Chips today. he was in Boston.
July 25. if we dont have rane before long father says there wont be ennything to eat nex year. went up to Chips again today. he hadent got home from Boston.
July 26, i will never speek to Chipper Burley again. he has got the wirst temper i ever see. he gets mad for nothing. i never see such a man, i went up today. i met 2 or 3 men whitch sined the partition and they asted me if i had seen Chip and i sed no and they sed wel go up as soon as you can so i went up. a servant girl came to the door and told me Chip, only she sed mister Burley was in the greenhouse. so i went to the greenhouse and he was there with mister Busell and mister Alfrid Coner and old Charles Coner and Joe Hiliard. he asted me what i wanted and i told him and he winked at the other men and sed read it and i started to read it and i had jest got as far as mister Chipper Burley when he got mad and grabed it and toar it up and chased me almost down to front streete. i wish i gnew what he was mad about. i dident do a thing but jest start to read it. i bet i wont go there again.
July 27, 186---rany and thunderry. i always thougt a girl with red hair and frekles wood taist jest loke dandylions when you bite them. i meen of course bite the dandylions. i meen when you kiss the girl. i dont know. some day i am going to find out.
July 28, 186---i wunder why i wrote what i wrote yesterday. if i thougt ennybody wood ever read this diry i wood have toar that out. ennyway that is what i always thougt. i bet sum of the fellers know. but i dont. Beany has got his gob back. they coodent get ennyone else to taik it. his face has all gone down so it is not funny enny moar. at least it is not enny funnier than usual and we are used to that.
July 29, 186---it was hot as time today. this afternoon me and Cawcaw Harding went up to the gravil to go in swiming and jest as we was jest ready to dive in a cold mist came up and we nearly froze befoar we cood find our close. i tell you we dresed prety quick and hipered for home. father sed it was a sea tirn and sumtimes horses and catel has been lost and froze to deth by them and i had beter be cairful about going in swiming when it is too hot. i never know when father is goking. one day i asted him what the fellers witch lived in south America and Africa did for snow-baling and he sed that the snow was so hot sumtimes that they had to cool their snowballs befoar they pluged them at other felers or they wood scald them or burn them bad. i gnew that father was goking that time but the nex day in school i read in a school book that a man once froze water in a red hot cup. so peraps he wasent goking after all.
July 30 186---i have to cut grass for them sheep evry day now and it taiks a lot of time when i cood be fishing. i never see such things to eat. always baaing for sumthing to eat. today they et a whole cabbije i hooked out of J. Albert Clarks garden, and a bushel of grass i cut over by the high school and sum carots and sum meal and hay and a lot of potatoe pealings and 2 peaces of lettis and drank haff a pale of water and tiped over 3 whole pales full. one is tame and follows me round. that is the old one. the young one is wild and if i dont look out wil butt me when i aint looking and where i aint xpecting it. once she nocked me over and i hit her with a stick hard. so now when i get in the pen she gets in the corner. she knows she cant fool with me. i guess not.
July 31, 186---this morning we heard a awful baaing in the sheep pen and father called me erly and we went out. what do you think they was 3 lamns there. 2 was ded. the old sheep the one that i liked becaus she was tame was the one whitch lamns was ded. she was runing up and down and smelling of them and baaing. then she wood waulk away from them and look round and see if they was folowing her and when she see that they dident she wood come back and baa sum more.
father he sed thunder that is too bad we will have to berry them. i dont want your mother to see them. it wil maik her feel terrible. so i got a spaid and father took up the 2 little lamns and we went out behine the barn and father dug a hole and then we rapped them up in sum brown paper and berrid them. when we went back to the barn the old sheep was baaing terrible and runing from one end of the pen to the other end. her eyes stuck out of her haid and she looked at us as if she was asking us where her lamns was. father sed thunder this is tuf what in time can we do. i sed i dont know and he sed he dident supose i did he never gnew me to know ennything when it was asted. so he patted her head and called her a good old girl and i got sum grass for her but she woodent eat. the other lamm was all right but the first thing i gnew the mother sheep nocked her oan lamn over. jest butted it over. father sed hell and he was over the fence in jest 2 secunds. then he let her up and she backed into a corner shaiking her head.
then the lamn kind of teetered up to her wobbly as time and tried to suck and she butted him again and nocked him down and father grabed her by the back of the neck with one hand and by the end of her back with the other and sed now old lady you will do one of 2 things in about 2 minits. eether nurse this lamn or go down to butcher Haleys. so i poked the lamns nose under the sheep and in a minit it was sucking like a good one and wigling its tale like a snaik when you step on its head. the old sheep tried to butt and kick and get away but she mite jest as wel have tride to brake away from a steal trap. i bet my father cood hold a wild bull of bastem that the minister talked about if he had him by the neck with one hand and the tale with the other. i tel you that lamn had a good time. after he dident want enny more father put him in another pen and let the old sheep go. this noon he held her again. it took us so long that it was too lait to go to chirch. i bet i dident feel bad. after dinner father held her again. tonite he held her a few minits and then he let me hold her. she only yanked once but i held her as good as father.
August 1, 186---this morning father dident have time to hold the sheep so he hollered up-stairs for me to get up and hold her. then i heard the door of the hack slam and i thought as long as father had went to the trane i woodent hurry and the nex i gnew mother was shaiking me and teling me that it was eigt oh clock and that my lamn was bleeting terrible. so i gumped up and dresed and run down and put the lamn in the pen and clim after it. the old sheep backed into a corner when i went towerds her and stamped her front foot and befoar i cood gump to one side she hit me with her head and nocked me flat. i gnew beter than to get up and so i roled over towerds her and got her by the legs and then i got a good grip in her wool. we had a regular rassel and she draged me all over the pen. i held on like a good feler and bimeby i got her in a corner head ferst. then the lamn woodent come to suck. i gess he was scart. i dident blame him for i was scart two. if i hadent been scart i would have let go so i hollered for Keene but nobody caim. i cood hear them ratling dishes and eating breckfast and i was most starved to death and i dident dass to let go of that old sheep. so i hung on and began to call the lamn. it wood baa and come prety nearly up and then run back. bimeby it come so near that i cood reech it but when i let go of the sheep with one hand she began to kick and strugle and i had another rassel with it. i was most tuckered out when she stoped to rest again. then i hollered for sumone to come but nobody caim. then i hapened to think that in the Swiss Family Robinson that the father was triing to ride a wild ass and it kicked and bit and rared and plungged and the only way to stop him was to bite his hear. so when he rared up strait he grabed his ear with his teeth and bit it throug and the ass got down on his feet once more and stoped kicking and biting and plungging and he never had enny moar truble with him.
so i made up my mind that when that sheep began to tare round again i wood try it. so bimeby the little lamn come up close and i let go one hand to stick the lamns head in place when the old sheep began to try to get away and i got both arms round its neck tite and grabed its ear with my teeth and bit as hard as i cood. well i wish you cood have saw what hapened. i never gnew wether she tirned a back summerset or i did. i gess we both did. she led out a baa and slamed me down on the floor and trod al over me and butted me over and tride to gump out of the pen. while i was on the ground and she was steping on me i caugt her by the legs and down she went and most squashed me flat and one of her feet trod on my head. you jest bet i hollered and then Keene and Cele and mother and Aunt Sarah come out and told me to get out of the pen befoar i was killed. i had been triing to get out ever since i bit her but she seamed to be evrywhere to onct. when they come she ran into a corner and i clim out. i was all covered with dirt and my nose was skined and my close toar. Keene asted me if i had ben playing ring round the rosy and mother told her that she must wash and mend my close for that before she went out of the yard. so i gess Keene wont be so smart another time. i went back to my room and changed my close and washed my face and hands and mother put some plaster on my face. then i had breckfast.
tonite i am so tired that i cant wright enny more. tomorrow i will tell how we fed the lamn. i have got so i can handle the sheep all right. Sam Dire done it.
August 2 186---brite and fair. yesterday after i had my breckfast mother told me to ask Sam Dire what to do to fed the lamn. mother says Sam Dire is the lady from Philydelfia like the story of the Peterkin family in the young folks. when the Peterkin family in the magasine is stuck and dont know what to do they go to the lady from Philydelfia who tells them jest what to do. so mother sends for Sam Dire when she dont know what to do. so Sam he came over and clim into the pen and grabed the old sheep and held her until i got the lamn and it had enuf.
then Sam he went over to the blacksmith shop and he made 2 rings of iron. then he got a strap with a buckel and he put the strap with a ring on it round her neck. then he fassened a peace of closeline to the ring and run it throug the other ring whicht he had fassened to a beem in the corner and brougt the end of the roap out of the pen and tide it. so all i have to do now is to pull her up to the ring and ty the roap. then i get my gnee agenst her and she cant move. i done it at noon and at nite. she holds back when i pull but when i brace my feet agenst the side of the pen and pull you bet she has to come. that was prety good of Sam. tonite father nearly dide when i told him about biting her ear and mother told him how i looked. he went over and paid Sam 25 cents and told him he was a beter inventer than the man which invented hot water and i tell you Sam was pleased most to deth.
August 3, 186---i think Lizzie Tole is the pretyest girl i ever see in my life. it looks as if Beany wood get her. still i am hoaping.
August 4, 186---i woodent have ennybody read this diry for 2 million dollars. i am very cairful about it. Beany is a prety good feller but there is sum things that no feller can stand. i gess Ed Tole likes me better than he does Beany but Lizzie dont. I wood ruther have it the other way. still i am hoaping. Beany may see sumbody he likes better. so may she. i hoap it will be me. i forgot to say that this was sunday. i tride to get father to let me stay at home to taik cair of the sheep but he woodent. he staid home himself to look after them. i dont think that is fair. they was a thunder shower this afternoon. it was after chirch of coarse. it was a ripper. it struck a tree up on Coart strete and split off a big lim. i have to wirk prety hard cutting grass for them sheep.
August 5, 186---i have to wirk harder than enny feller i know. all Beany has to do is to split kinlins and lug in wood and get water from the well with the old chane and windlas and that is always fun becaus a feller always splashed the water all over him and sumtimes the chane brakes and they have to fish for it with hooks and sumtimes things get in the well and you cant use the water for a long time and then Beany has to come over to my house. once a cat got drownded in Beanys well. Beany cood see it floating round but me and Beany was mad and he sed he never wood come over to my house again or speak to me as long as he lived. so Beany dident say nothing to his family but kep on luging in pales of water. bimbye the water began to smel bad and taist feerful and Beanys father xamined the well after about a week more and found the old ded cat and there was a dredful time and Beany got a licking and had to come over to our house for water until his well was clened out. ennyway we had made up. gues what we got mad about. i treted Lizzie to gibs and Beany got mad and woodent speek to me or to her. then he bought a prize packige of candy and got a ring that was wirth a grate deel of money and gave it to her and now she goes with Beany and dont speek to me. i am never going with girls again. ennyway me and Beany are all rite again.
August 6, 186---brite and fair. Pewt is wirking for his father painting the Academy fence. he says he gets one dollar and a quarter a day. gosh i wunder if he does. Beany says Pewt dont get fifty cents a year. Pewt woodent wirk if he dident get paid. he always has got money too. so i gess he gets sum pay. i almost never have enny money xcept when i let my boat and bisness is poar this summer. i doant beleve i have ernt 2 dollars this summer. i think father had aught to pay me fer all the wirk i do. i am tired of that old sheep. i wish a dog wood come in some day and kill it. we all like the lamn. it is geting so it can eat grass a little. evry day i ty the old sheep out in the grass. i wish it was ded. evry time it baas i have to give it sumthing. i wood like to give it sum poizon.
August 7, 186---hot and thundery. Cele is reading the bible throug. she reads a chapter evry morning. she is terible religius. she is a grate reader of dime novels. she reads all mine. father lets me read them. he says he likes to read them himself. it is all indian fiting. Cele has read Nat Todd the Traper and Billy Bolegs and Scalploc Sam and Mountain Mike and One Eyd Pete and lots of them. she says she likes the bible best. i dont beleve it. she has got as far as the 2th palsam. once father made me lern a palsam. he gave me 10 cents. i have tride to forget it and it is most forgot. it goes like this.
day unto day utterith speach and nite unto nite showeth gnowledge.
there is no speach nor gnowledge where thy voice is not heard. that is all i can remember now. once i cood say it all but i dident know what it ment. i gnew what the 10 cents was for.
mother dont believe it wil do Cele eny good to read dime novels but father says it will help her atain a hapy medium.