PART I.

Reading over many ancient Histories, it was my chance to meet with this story of an old woman who lived in the west, who took delight in studying her fortune. When she found herself full twenty years old, she thought her luck worse than some who were married at fifteen or sixteen, which much troubled her mind; but to prevent all doubts she resolved to try a story she had often heard her mother talk of, and, finding it true, she resolved to teach other maidens.

On a time, this old woman having newly buried her husband, was taking a walk in the fields, for the benefit of the air, sometimes thinking of the loss of her husbands, for she had had three, yet had a great desire for the fourth. So it happened, as she was walking alone, she espied a young maiden by the meadow-side. "Good morrow, maid," said the old woman, "how do you do? are not you well?" "Yes, mother, I am very well, but somewhat troubled in mind." "What is it troubles you so much? If I can, I will willingly relieve you, therefore be not ashamed to tell the truth. Is it anything of great concern?" "Indeed, mother, seeing you urge me so much, I will tell you the truth. We are three sisters, the youngest was married about a year ago, the middlemost last week, and I am the eldest, and no man heeds me." "Well, daughter, if this be all, I believe I can assist thee, for when I was young I was in the same condition, and with reading some histories, found out the art to know him that should be my husband, which, if you will keep my counsel, I am ready to teach thee." "I will, truly, and if you will do so much for me, I shall think myself much obliged to you; and, if my fortune proves right, I will make you amends."

"Why, then, I will tell you, in the first place, you must observe St. Agnes' day, which is the 21st of January, and on that day let no man speak to thee, and at night, when thou liest down lay thy right hand under thy head, and say these words, 'Now the God of hope let me dream of my love'; then go to sleep as soon as possible, and you shall be sure to dream of him who will be your husband, and see him stand before you, and may take notice of him and his complexion; and if he offer to salute thee honourably, do not deny him, but show him as much favour as thou canst; but if he offers to be uncivil, be sure to send him away. And now, daughter, the counsel I have given you, be sure to tell nobody. So, fare you well, till I see you again."

"I give you thanks for your advice; but one thing more I have to say, What is your name? and where do you live?" "I will tell you, daughter; my name is Mother Bunch, and I live at a place called Bonadventure, where, if you come, I will make you welcome."

Now Mother Bunch having departed from the maid, she met another pretty girl. "Good morrow, Mother Bunch." "Good morrow, pretty maid, whither are you going this morning? Methinks you are very fine to-day." "Fine! Mother Bunch, you do not think so." "Nay, I cannot discommend you; for such a brisk maid as you should go handsome, or you will never get a sweetheart, though you think the time long." "No, no, mother, I am too young." "How old are you?" "I am eighteen." "Eighteen! then I know thou thinkest thou hast stayed long enough, and wouldest as willingly have a husband as another." "Aye, Mother Bunch, but good husbands are hard to find, especially for me, who have no skill in choosing, or else it may be I would be glad of a good husband." "Be sure to take my advice: be wise in choosing, that is to say, take no one that has got a red head, for be sure he loveth a smock so well that he will scarce let his wife have a good one to her back; nor of yellow hair, as he is inclinable to be jealous; nor a black man, for he is dogged." "Aye, but mother, if I must not have yellow, black, nor red, what colour must I take?" "Why, daughter, I tell you, if he is jealous, you will be annoyed by his speeches, for how can a young woman forbear when she is always provoked? And be sure, if he is jealous of thee thou mayest well be so of him; for evil people and thieves think ill of each other. But hold a little, one thing more I have to say to you, and that is, to take notice of thy sweethearts when they come a-wooing to thee, I mean of their civil behaviour; for if they swear, vow, and make great protestations, then have a care of thyself, for many words breed dissimulation; therefore have a care of such: but if a man come to thee that is sober and civil behaved, there are hopes of his proving a good man." "Now, mother, I will take my leave of you, giving you many thanks for your good advice; and so, farewell, till I see you again, and I intend to take this counsel."

Another time Mother Bunch was in a little meadow, not far from her house, on the 30th of April, before sunrising. A handsome maid, seeing her alone, came to her, and said, "Mother Bunch, good morrow, how do you do? Pray, what makes you abroad so early in the morning? You seem to be in a deep study." "Daughter, you say very true; I am studying who shall be my next husband, and if thou wilt but please to stay a little while, thou shalt see a pretty art, which thou never saw before, to teach you how to know your sweetheart." "This is a pretty art indeed, and I should be glad to know it."

"Hark! hark! daughter, is not yonder the cuckoo singing?" "Yes, yes, and I have not heard her sing this year before now." "Then, daughter, sit down by me, but hold, Are you fasting?" "Yes." "But has no man kissed you?" "No." Then sit thee down by me. "I think the cuckoo is mad, what a life she leads; I think she is a witch; but no matter: put off thy right shoe and stocking, and let me look between thy great toe and the next: Now, daughter, see, this hair is a long one; look well at it, and tell me what colour it is." "I think it is really yellow." "The same colour will thy husband's hair be." "But, Mother Bunch, I do not matter the colour so much as the condition." "I will tell you his condition: he may prove surly enough, and perhaps make you do as you did not imagine: you must give him good words, and give him good for evil." "Mother Bunch, you make me smile, you talk so merrily." "Come, daughter, it is no great matter; merry talk does no harm, but drives the time away. But hark! daughter, I have had three husbands myself, and I think to have another; and do you think I am so mad to tell him all I do? Then, my daughter, I have another way to tell you who must be your husband; I have proved it true; and it is the best time of the year to try it, therefore, observe what I say: Take a St. Thomas' onion, pare it, and lay it on a clean handkerchief under your pillow; and as you lie down, say these words--

Good St. Thomas, do me right, And bring my love in dreams this night, That I may view him in the face.

"Then go to sleep as soon as you can, and in your first sleep you shall dream of him who is to be your husband. This I have tried, and it has proved true. Yet I have another pretty way for a maid to know her sweetheart, which is as follows: Take a summer apple of the best fruit, stick pins close into the apple, to the head, and as you stick them take notice which of them is the middlemost, and give it what name you fancy; put it into thy left hand glove, and lay it under thy pillow on Saturday night; after thou gettest into bed, then clap thy hands together, and say these words--

If thou be he that must have me To be thy wedded bride, Make no delay, but come away, In dream to my bedside.

"And in thy sleep thou shalt see him, and be not afraid, for it is a sign he will prove a good husband. And this is a good way for a young man to know his sweetheart, giving the middlemost pin the name he fancies best, putting the apple in his right hand glove, and laying it under his pillow when he is in bed, saying--

If thou be she that must have me In wedlock for to join, Make no delay, but come away So I may dream of mine.

"And that night he may see her, and if she come it is a sign she will prove a good wife. And now, daughter, the time passes away, and I must be gone, and so bid you farewell." "Mother Bunch, I give you many thanks for your good counsel, and intend to take your advice."

Upon a time, Mother Bunch, being at a wedding, where young men and maids were met, who had a mind for some discourse with her, one young man said, "Mother Bunch, we know you are a woman that has a judgment in many things, I pray, tell my fortune." "I cannot tell fortunes," said she, "but thou blinkest too much with one eye to be true to one woman." "Aye, but, mother," says another, "what think you of me?" "Thou mayest come to marry a lady, if thou canst but lay a great wager with her, three to one; and if she wagers with thee, thou wilt be very likely to win, for thou hast mettle in thee; but have a care she win not the odds, if she does thou art clean gone. So farewell."

Now Mother Bunch took her leave; and going home, she met a maid going to a wedding. "How do you do, mother?" "Thank you, daughter, whither are you going?" "To the wedding, I believe; but hark you, mother, will you sit down a little, I have something to say to you." "What is it, daughter?" "When shall I be married?" "Would you fain be married?" "Yes, mother, if I could get a good husband." "Then, daughter, I will tell you the best I can, if you will take my advice. In the month of January are many dangerous days for thee to take notice of; these are the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth: there are a great many more; but if thou marriest on these days, thy husband will cuckold thee, or thou wilt make him one, or else you will soon be parted by one means or other; but for all there be so many bad days in this month I can tell you of one day which is lucky, and many young men and maids have a deal of heart's ease on that day, or the day after, as I shall let you understand; it is the 21st, called St. Agnes' day. This St. Agnes has a great favour for young men and maids, and will bring their sweethearts, if they follow my rules: Upon this day you must be sure to keep a fast, and neither eat nor drink all that day, nor at night; neither let man, woman, nor child kiss thee on that day; and thou must be sure, when thou goest to bed, to say--

Now, St. Agnes, play thy part, And send to me my own sweetheart; And show me such a happy bliss, This night to dream of a sweet kiss.

"And be sure to fall asleep as soon as you can, and before you awake out of your first sleep, you shall see him come before you, and shall perceive by his habit what tradesman he is; and be sure thou declare not thy dream unto any one in ten days, and by that time thou mayest see thy dream come to pass. All this I have proved three times; for I have had three husbands, and they all proved tradesmen. The first was a straw joiner, the second a louse-trap maker, and the third a gentle craft, and he came to me with his awl in his hand, and so I waked out of my dream; but I thought the time long till he came again; as all maids do that desire to be married. I know some maids would wait in order to have a husband with the best conditions, and endowed with the best qualifications; nay they would have impossibilities: but I am afraid they will make good the old proverb, that says--

'If you will not when you may, When you would you shall have nay.'

"Therefore, take my advice, if a young man comes to you of a civil carriage, and you think you can love him, be not scornful to him, but give him a civil encouragement, according to his behaviour."

And as to young men, my advice is, they be wary in their choice, since there is as much danger in choosing of a wife as a husband: wherefore, all young men, take my advice: choose not one with a long nose, a scolding brow, and thin lips, for in such there is great danger. He who is tied to a scold is tied to sorrow; choose not one who is counted a slut, if she be a slut, she is idle also, and these two companions will bring thee to poverty; nay, besides this, the old saying is, 'A slut will poison the gout, and if you can't eat with her, you won't sleep with her.'

But this is the best way of choosing a wife: Take one for love, not for riches which fly away, for true love never varies; and where that is, the blessing of God is. If you desire to live a long life, be not overfond of riches, but choose a civil handsome maid, who is not given to pride: such a maid may make a fine wife. But she that brings a handsome fortune, will be always throwing it in your teeth, which often occasions great disturbances; therefore let this suffice for those who desire to get good wives; and take notice of what I have already said, and you may fare the better.

And as for young maids, this is my advice, if they will not try St. Agnes, let them be sure to choose a clever, honest man, who is able to support them in comfort.