Amusing prose chap-books

Tom Long the Carrier coming to an inn, Asked the maid what meat there was within? "Cow-heels," said she, "and a fine breast of mutton." "Then," said Tom, "since that I am no glu...

_The Tinker complains to the Courtier of a Butcher's Dog that often assaulted him. The Courtier, in the Tinker's habit, fights and kills him; and of his Examination before a Jus...

Cicily Summers, whose nose was then as fair as the midnight sun, which shined as bright as Baconthine, was beloved of young Tom Tram; and a sad story to tell, he grew not worth...

_Teag._ Dear honey, what would I do? Do you think I was such a big fool as to die too? I am sure if I had I would not have got fair play, when I am not so old yet as my father w...

Tom's victories rang so loud that they reached the ears of his old acquaintance the tinker, who, being desirous of honour, resolved to go down and visit him in his government; a...

Now the king considering the pleasant humour of the cobbler, how innocently merry he was and free from any design; that he was a person that laboured very hard, and took a great...

On Michaelmas Day, Mother Bunch, sitting on the bank of a river, joining to a neighbouring grove, beheld the late flourishing branches in their decay, whose sapless leaves were...

On the death of the king of the gipsies, named Clause Patch, our hero was a candidate to succeed him, and exhibited to the electors a long list of bold and ingenious stratagems...

Reading over many ancient Histories, it was my chance to meet with this story of an old woman who lived in the west, who took delight in studying her fortune. When she found her...

_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, by Shaint Patrick, they have got such comical laws in our country that they will put a man to death in perfect health; so, to be free and plain with yo...

Carew being again initiated among them, at the first general assembly of the gipsies, took the oaths of allegiance to their sovereign, by whom he was soon sent out on a cruise a...

_How Friar Bacon framed a Brazen Head which, by Enchantment, was to Speak; by that means all England had been walled with Brass, if the Folly of his man Miles, who was set to wa...

_Friar Bacon's Birth and Parentage, and by what means he came to be so great a Scholar. How the King sent for him from Oxford, and in what wonderful manner he pleased the King's...

_Tom._ By the law, dear honey. When I came to Port Patrick, and saw my own kingdom, I knew I was safe at home, but I was clean dead, and almost drowned before I could get riding...

Tom's fame being spread, no one durst give him an angry word; for being foolhardy, he cared not what he did, so that those who knew him would not displease him. At last a brewer...

When Friar Bacon flourished at Oxford, a young gentleman, by his prodigality, having run out his estate and involved himself in debt, grew exceeding pensive and melancholy, purp...

The Tinker I have before mentioned, not knowing the house where he had been so nobly entertained, and which he only took for a vision, and often walking that road and crying old...

Mr. Bamfylde Moore Carew was the son of a clergyman near Tiverton, in Devonshire, and born in 1693. He was tall and majestic, his limbs strong and well-proportioned, his feature...

Simon, the subject of our ensuing discourse, was a man very unfortunate many years after marriage, not only by crosses, but by the cruelty of Margery his severe wife--his weddin...

Pretty Betty, having met the knight according to appointment, did not scruple to ride behind him; but they had scarce got out of town when his uncle came to the inn, but not fin...

In this manner he came to the court, staring on this body and on that body as he walked up and down, and not knowing how to ask for Harry Tudor. At last he espied one as he thou...

When bold Robin Hood was about twenty years old he happened to meet with a jolly stranger, whom he afterwards called Little John. This man, though called little, was a lusty you...

In summer time when the leaves were green and birds sang merrily upon every tree, Robin Hood set out to Nottingham in disguise, and as he went along the road he overtook a jolly...

It was the custom of King Henry the Eighth to walk late in the night into the city disguised, to observe and take notice how the constables and watch performed their duty, not o...

Tom's mother, being a poor widow, went to a rich farmer's house to beg a bundle of straw to shift herself and her son Thomas. The farmer, being an honest charitable man, bid her...

One day as Robin Hood was taking his walk through the forest, he happened to behold a jolly butcher, sitting between his hampers, on a stout young mare, going to sell his meat a...

Robin Hood was now about fifteen years old; in person tall and stout, and of a good countenance; in courage and strength few equalled him. One day he determined to take a journe...

As Robin walked about the forest one day he met with a comely young man, dressed in a doublet of silk, with scarlet hose, travelling boldly along with a stout bow in his hand. A...

As bold Robin Hood one day was standing in the forest just under the green oaken tree, he espied a gallant young man, clothed in scarlet and white, as gay as a lark, who came tr...

Faustus commanded the spirit to meet him at his house by ten of the clock the next day. At the hour appointed he came into his chamber asking Faustus what he would have. Faustus...

The cobbler had not been long in the king's cellar, before the king came to him in the same habit that he had on when the cobbler mended his shoe; whereupon the cobbler knew him...

_Robin Hood and Bishop of Hereford. Robin Hood in Distress changes Clothes with an old Woman to Escape from the Bishop, whom he afterwards takes Prisoner, and obliges him to sin...

Faustus' full time being come, the spirit appeared to him, and showed him his writing, and told him that the next night the devil would fetch him away, which made the doctor's h...

_The Courtier finds the Tinker asleep; he has him carried in that posture to his house; lays him on a Bed in a stately Room with rich Clothes by him; feasts and entertains him w...

After Faustus had a long conference with his spirit concerning the fall of Lucifer, and the state and condition of all the fallen angels, he, in a vision or dream, saw hell and...

The justice at this time being without a man, and finding Tom to be a lively fellow, asked him if he would serve him. "Yes," quoth Tom, "for I am a great many miles from the cou...

As Robin Hood wandered about the fields one day he met a fair lady who came weeping along the road in great distress. "Oh, why do you weep so pitifully," said Robin, "and what i...

Friar Bacon kept a man to wait on him who, though but a simple fellow, yet a merry droll and full of waggeries. His name was Miles, and though his master and those of the order...

At length Tom Hickathrift was pitched upon as being a stout and bold subject, for which reason it was judged necessary to make him Governor of that island, which place of trust...

_How Pretty Betty being Woo'd by her Master's Son, a Merchant, a Gentleman, and a Knight; how, upon her declaring her Parentage, was slighted by all but the Knight; and of their...

Things being come to pass, great preparations were made for the wedding. The bride and bridegroom were dressed in rich apparel, and as soon as the ceremony was ended they went t...

Tom heard a company of women that would meet at the place a house-warming, to welcome one of the house. These women had formerly abused Tom, and now he thought to be even with t...

It happened that Tom was sent on an errand forty miles from his abode, over heaths and plains, where having dispatched his business, he chanced to be lodged in a room that opene...

All this time Sir James continued his suit to Meg's mistress, but to no purpose. So, coming in one day and seeing her melancholy, asked what ailed her, for if anyone has wronged...

Not many ages since a parson of a country village was accused to a committee that he was a great gamester at cards, being so addicted thereunto that he would ofttimes play on Su...

Some time afterwards, as Tom was walking about his estate to see how his workmen went on, he met upon the skirts of the forest a very sturdy tinker, having a good staff on his s...

But, although he was not punished according to the severe correction he had formerly received, yet he did not escape the continual railings in his ears for several days after, e...

Not only the cities of London and Westminster, but Lancashire also, rung of Meg's fame, so they desired old Willis, the carrier, to call upon her, which he did, taking with him...

So the cobbler took the king with him over the way, where he had his cellar adjoining the stall, which was handsomely and neatly furnished for a man of his profession. Into the...

Margery, being reconciled again on his humble petition, she charged him to be careful for the future that he did not offend her as he had done before, which he promised to obser...

Poor Robin having set up for himself (as you have heard), he would oftentimes travel abroad in the country to get acquaintance amongst the gentry. It happened one time, being be...

The blind beggar soon became master of his trade, and, by the help of his dog, trudged often to London, and having the perfect tone, had the luck to return with his pockets well...

No sooner did Apollo begin to appear in the eastern horizon, but poor Robin, shaking off melancholy sleep, roused his companion to prepare himself for their intended perambulati...

It happened that a company of gentlemen being disposed to create mirth, rode some miles from home to be merry. One of them would need have Tom to wait upon him, and Tom was as w...

Poor Robin daily frequenting the tavern and ale-house had learned of his companions many drunken whimsies and other odd conceits, as the five properties that belong to an host,...

Tom not being used to such a stock of riches, could hardly tell how to dispose of it; but he used means to do it, for he kept a pack of hounds and men to hunt them; and who but...

_How Monford went to the Wars of France, where he lost his Sight; how he was accompanied with his Wife, who preserved his Life, and of his Return to England, etc._

In and about the Isle of Ely, many disaffected persons, to the number of ten thousand or upwards, drew themselves together in a body, pretending to contend for their rights and...

In regard Tom had been hindered hitherto by the troopers, he delayed his visit to his lady and love till the next day, and, coming to her, he gave her a full account of what had...

Tom Long being newly set up a carrier, as he was travelling he happened to take up a young lad, who had straggled from his parents to play the truant, which Tom perceiving, ente...

It happened on a day, towards night, that there came a company of gypsies into a town, and had not very long been there till Tom met them, and asked them, "What they made there?...

Tom asked the man what way he intended to travel. "Marry," said the man, "I must go back with the horse I have hired." Quoth Tom, "What did you give for the hire of him?" Said t...

There was an old woman named Mother Winter that had but one son-in-law, and his name was Tom; and though he was at man's estate, yet would do nothing but what he listed, which g...

Upon a time Mother Winter sent her son Tom into the market to buy her a penny-worth of soap, and gave him twelvepence, and charged him to bring it home safe. Tom told her it sho...

Tom and his man being now on their way, began to discourse of their dinner, and how prettily they served their hostess; but still conceited that they heard these young chickens...

Poor Robin having never been in London in his life, and being very desirous to see the city whose fame rang so loud in every man's mouth, he resolved to make a jonrney thither,...

Now the time of Betty's departure being come, her parents furnished her with clothes and other necessaries, whereupon she fell upon her knees and craved their blessing, which be...

Tom Long the Carrier, seeing himself thus fooled out of his horse, resolved not to bear all the loss himself, and so converted all his carriage into money, and returning home, p...

Faustus, whose mind was to study conjuration, the which he followed night and day, he took the wings of an eagle, and endeavoured to fly over the world, to see and know all the...

Tom's mother being dead, and he left alone in a spacious house, he found himself strange; therefore began to consider with himself that it would not be amiss to seek a wife; so,...

Tom Long, the subject of this discourse, having spent some few years like a wandering Jew, oft visiting the coasts of Essex and Kent, where he did many notable exploits, sometim...

Monford, having escaped a dreadful storm at sea, landed with his wife on the coast of Essex, where he had some considerable relations, to whom, in his necessity, they applied th...

Now as soon as the king came home, he sent out orders about the court, that if any one inquired for him by the name of Harry Tudor, they should immediately bring him before him,...

In a great city there lived several men who for their religion were forced to fly for their lives, and not far from the city was an ancient cave under a hill, in which these men...

The Tinker being better pleased with his treatment, often frequented the house, making the Knight merry with his pleasant songs, etc., so that he was much pleased with his conve...

The carrier, having set up his horses, went with the lasses to the Eagle in Westminster, and told the landlady he had brought her three fine Lancashire lasses; and seeing she of...

Tom Long having been a carrier for many years, grew in great request, and though he was not very well beloved, yet he was sure to have many customers that he got carriage of, es...

After marriage she kept a house at Islington. The constable coming one night, he would needs search Meg's house, whereupon she came down in her shift with a cudgel, and said--"M...

A bailiff, having for the purpose took forty shillings, arrested a gentleman in Meg's mistress's house, and desired the company to keep peace. She, coming in, asked what was the...

One of the lubbers of the Abbey had a mind to try her strength, so, coming with six of his associates one frosty morning, calls for a pot of ale, which, being drank, he asked wh...

"Why, then," said she, "take this money. I have tied it in a clout, that you may not lose it. Therefore, go you to the market, and make all the haste you can, and get me some so...

Now the young gallant vexed himself to think how Tom had conquered him before his new mistress, so was resolved on speedy revenge, and, knowing he was not able to cope with Tom,...

Tom Long being now a foot-post, with hard travelling had worn his shoes so very thin that he was in great danger to lose soles and all; whereupon Tom came to refresh himself, af...

Now it happened she once put on a suit of man's apparel. The same night it fell out that a young nobleman, being disposed for mirth, would go abroad to see the fashions, and, co...

In a winter night, coming home very late, Tom Tram fell with his arms before him, and at the last run his nose against a post. "What," quoth Tom, "is my nose longer than my arms...

Faustus having spun out his twenty-four years, within a month or two, began to consider what he should do to cheat the devil, but could not find any way to prevent his miserable...

There was a gallant young gentleman who was in love with a fair lady, living at Wurtemberg, near the doctor's house. This gentleman had long sought this lady in marriage, but co...

Robin fell ill, and because he required to be treated with skill, he went to Kirkley Abbey, where they sent for a monk to bleed him, and this monk being eager to get the reward...

When Faustus had made an end of his writing he called Mephistopheles to him, and delivered him the bond; whereupon the spirit told, him if he did not repent of what he had done,...

Poor Robin was born in Saffron-Walden, in the county of Essex, of honest, plain parents, who brought him up not as our nice dames do now-a-days, by directing him how much he sho...

Not long after she sent him to the mill with a sack of corn, and bade him remember what she said to him, or else he should not go unpunished.

Dr. Faustus, as he was going to Wurtemberg, overtook a country fellow driving a hundred swine, who were very headstrong, some running one way and some another; so that the drive...

The litany being ended the tapster comes for his reckoning, but poor Robin made answer that he should do as the rest had done, either tell a tale or sing a song. Says he, "Sing...

Once there was a cathedral singing man that had very much angered Tom, and had made songs and jests upon him, whereupon Tom got on his back an ox-hide, with the horns set upon h...

In the reign of Henry VIII. was born in Lancashire a maid called Long Meg. At eighteen years old she came to London to get her a service--Father Willis, the carrier, being the w...

At length Simon coming home he met with his beloved wife Margery, who, seeing his dejected countenance, she began to mistrust something, and so, taking hold of his arm, she haul...

Dr. Faustus having attained the desire of his spirit, had now full power to act or do anything whatever he pleased. Upon a time the Emperor had a desire to see him, and likewise...

Poor Robin having served out his apprenticeship would needs set up for himself, and thereupon hires a house and shop; yet thinking it inconvenient for him to live alone, and tha...

It happened on a time, during the late unhappy wars, that all the Essex Trainband were assembled at Walden, to resist the king's forces, who, in a bravado, had made their excurs...

Now Tom, being married, made a plentiful feast, to which he invited all the poor widows in the parish, for the sake of his mother, who had been lately buried.

Monford, upon his coming home, declared to his wife what a merry companion he met with, and what discourse he had, and likewise what he had promised, entreating her to get thing...

We don't use to wad in Scotland as you wad in England. Jockey comes to the kirk and takes Sir Donkyn by the rocket, and says, "Good morn, Sir Donkyn." "What's the matter, Jockey...

All England was filled with the renown of Robin Hood, and the great and the valiant stood in fear of him. He never harmed the poor, for he pitied their fate, and only spoiled th...

Poor Robin's master had gotten a custom that the man did not at all like, which was, that after he had tippled all day, sometimes till ten or eleven o'clock at night, he would t...

Thirteen students meeting with seven more near Dr. Faustus' house, fell to, extremely, first in words and at last to blows. The thirteen being too hard for the seven, and Dr. Fa...

The king being truly informed of the faithful services performed by these his loving subjects, Tom Hickathrift and the tinker, he was pleased to send for them and the nobility.

Faustus having sold his soul to the devil, it was reported among his neighbours, so that none would keep him company but his spirit playing merry tricks for to please him. Not f...

Dr. John Faustus was born in Germany. His father was a poor labouring man, not able to bring up his son John; but he had a brother in the same country, who was a very rich man,...

Now, tidings of Tom's wedding was soon raised at court, insomuch that they had a royal invitation there, in order that the king might have a sight of his newly-married lady. Acc...

At night, when he returned to his own home, Margery, by the help of a nap she had taken, was a little restored to her senses again; but yet, not forgetting the fault he had comm...

_How Tom Long the Carrier sold his Horse for the Skin, supposing him to be dead; and how a crafty fellow coming by knew what the Horse ailed, and so bought him._

Poor Sarah on a time made a very great pie, into which she had put a whole loin of mutton besides other things, so that it was valued worth five or six shillings at least. This...

In the same town lived a rich miser who had wealth enough to have been treasurer of the town, and wisdom answerable to a beadle of a parish. This man, fuller of faith than good...

In the North of England arrived a pretended merchant, but, indeed, a very cheating knave, who, residing there a while, came to be greatly acquainted with divers gentlemen, who,...

_How Monford happened to meet with Snap, an old, experienced Beggar, who gave him an Insight into the Mystery of the Canting Tribe; and how he invited him to the Rendezvous._

A certain king kept a fool to be his jester, whose manner was to set down in a note-book, which he kept for that purpose, all the follies that he saw committed in or about the c...

In the reign of William the Conqueror, having read in ancient records, there lived in the Isle of Ely, in Cambridgeshire, a man named Thomas Hickathrift, a poor labourer, yet he...

As Poor Robin was more addicted to flesh than fish, so of all sorts of flesh he loved a dish of lamb-stones best. A merry disposed companion knowing his appetite, resolved to pu...

In those days were wars between England and France, and a hot press about London. The constables of Westminster pressed Meg's fellow servant, and she told them if they took him...

Meg going one day with her neighbours to make merry, a miller near Epping looking out, the boy they had with them, about fourteen years old, said--"Put out, miller, put out." "W...

As Tom Long the Carrier was travelling between Dover and Westchester, he fortuned to pass something near a house, where was kept a great mastiff dog, who, as soon as he had espi...

Faustus upon a time having many doctors and masters of arts with him, went to walk in the fields, where they met with a load of hay. "How now, good fellow," saith Faustus, "what...

King Henry, passing the seas, took Boulogne. Hereupon the Dauphin with a great number of men surprised and retook it. Meg, being a laundress in the town, raised the best of the...

During this she observed one who in a bravado tossed his pike. She, seeing his pride, desired a drum to signify that a young soldier would have a push at pike with him. It was a...

The wars in France being over, Meg came to Westminster and married a soldier, who, hearing of her exploits, took her into a room, and, making her strip to her petticoat, took on...

Faustus walking in the market-place, saw seven women sitting all in a row, selling eggs, butter, etc. Of every one he bought something and departed. No sooner was he gone but al...

Tom Long, by reason of the great loss of his horses, became very poor, and so turned foot-post; and being in a wearisome condition, he was forced, having not coin to pay for bet...

It being whispered about that pretty Betty must needs be some great person's daughter, it highly increased her reputation. At last the inn-keeper's son, a very rich London merch...

Poor Robin, with some other of his mates, being drinking in an ale-house, where was an exceeding tall hostess, one of them offered to lay five shillings (because Poor Robin was...

The Blue Regiment of Train-Soldiers being on a time at Walden, one of the sergeants, to show his bravery, had gotten a great blue scarf about his middle, being as much or more t...

Tom Long the Carrier, upon a time, asked a merry conceited fellow which was the best husband for a young wench to marry. "Marry," quoth the fellow, "an old man, for then he shal...

Poor Robin, being in company with some gentlemen who were talking of the ambition of some men now-a-days, that would venture the loss of their souls for the possession of a king...