Chapter 8

TYRANNY, AVARICE, HYPOCRISY.

[TYRANNY.] By his wounds, I fear not, but it is cock sure[36] now.

[HYP. He hath a goodly grace in swearing.]

Under the legate's seal, in office I am placed: Therefore whoso resist me, I will make him to bow. Who can make Tyranny now be disgraced?

[HYP. He is graceless already.]

With a head of brass I will not be outfaced, But will execute mine office with extreme cruelty, So that all men shall know me to be plain Tyranny.

AVARICE. Nay, Master Zeal, be ruled by me: To such as resist such rigour you may show.

TYRANNY. Zeal? nay, no Zeal; my name is Tyranny: Neither am I ashamed who doth my name know, For in my dealings the same I will show,

[HYP. He is Kit Careless.]

None dare reprove me, of that I am sure, So long as authority on my side endure. But to thy words a while I will list; Therefore in brief say on what you will.

AVARICE. I would have you show rigour to such as resist, And such as be obstinate spare not to kill; But those that be willing your hests to fulfil,

[HYP. Hark the practice of spiteful Sumnors.]

If they offend, and not of obstinacy, For money excuse them, though they use villany, Thus shall you perform your office aright, For favour or money to spare the offendent.

TYRANNY. So may I also, of malice or spite, Or rancour of mind,[37] punish the innocent. But I will be ruled by thine arbitrament, And will favour such as will my hand grease. The devil is a good fellow, if one can him please:[38]

[HYP. And you are one of his sons, methink, by your head.]

But to follow our business great pains we do take; On an hasty message we were fit to be sent.

HYPOCRISY [_Aside_]. When I lie a-dying, I will you messengers make: You ply you so fast, you are too-too diligent. Whoop how, Master Zeal, whither are ye bent?

AVARICE. Hark! methought one hallooed, and called you by name.

TYRANNY. I would it were Hypocrisy.

AVARICE. It is the very same. What, Master Hypocrisy, for you I have sought This hour or two, but could you not find.

HYPOCRISY. That is no marvel, it is not for nought, For I am but little, and you two are blind; Neither have you eyes to see with behind: Yet may the learned note herein a mystery, That neither Tyranny nor Avarice can find out Hypocrisy. But what earnest business have you in charge, That with so great speed must presently be finished?

TYRANNY. Marry, see here.

HYPOCRISY. What is it?

TYRANNY. A commission large From my Lord Legate himself authorised, The effect whereof must presently be practised.

HYPOCRISY. What is the tenure,[39] pray you let me know?

TYRANNY. Avarice hath read it, not I; let him show.

AVARICE. He hath firstly in charge to make inquisition, Whether altars be re-edified, whether chalice and book, Vestments for mass, sacraments, and procession, Be prepared again: if not, he must look, And find out such fellows as these cannot brook, And to my Lord Legate such merchants present, That for their offence they may have condign punishment. If any we take tardy, Tyranny them threat, That for their negligence he will them present; And I desirous some money to get, If ought they will give me, their evil will prevent; Yea, sometime of purpose such shifts we invent.

HYPOCRISY. Peace, yonder comes one; methink it is a priest, By his gown, cap, and tippet made of a list.