SCENE IV.--DON CÆSAR'S.

_Enter_ MINETTE _and_ DON JULIO, L.

_Min._ There, sir, please to sit down, till my lady is ready to wait on you--she won't be long----I'm sure she's out, and I may do great things before she returns. [_Aside.--Exit_, R.

_Julio._ Through fifty back lanes, a long garden, and a narrow staircase, into a superb apartment--all that's in the regular way; as the Spanish women manage it, one intrigue is too much like another. If it was not now and then for the little lively fillip of a jealous husband or brother, which obliges one to leap from a window, or crawl, like a cat, along the gutters, there would be no bearing the _ennui_. Ah! ah! but this promises novelty; [_Looking through the Wing._] a young girl and an old man--wife or daughter? They are coming this way. My lovely incognita, by all that's propitious! Why did not some kind spirit whisper to me my happiness? but hold--she can't mean to treat the old gentleman with a sight of me. [_Goes behind the sofa._

_Enter_ DON CÆSAR _and_ OLIVIA, L.

_Cæsar._ No, no, madam, no going out--There, madam, this is your apartment, your house, your garden, your assembly, till you go to your convent. Why, how impudent you are to look thus unconcerned!--Can hardly forbear laughing in my face!--Very well--very well! [_Exit, double locking the door_, L.

_Oliv._ Ha! ha! ha! I'll be even with you, my dear father, if you treble lock it. I'll stay here two days, without once asking for my liberty, and you'll come the third, with tears in your eyes, to take me out.--He has forgot the door leading to the garden--but I vow I'll stay. [_Sitting down._] I can make the time pass pleasantly enough.

_Julio._ I hope so. [_Looking over the back of the sofa._

_Oliv._ Heaven and earth!

_Julio._ My dear creature, why are you so alarmed? am I here before you expected me? [_Coming round_, R.

_Oliv._ Expected you!

_Julio._ Oh, this pretty surprise! Come, let us sit down; I think your father was very obliging to lock us in together.

_Oliv._ Sir! sir! my father! [_Calling at the door._

_Cæsar._ [_Without._] Ay, 'tis all in vain--I won't come near you. There you are, and there you may stay. I shan't return, make as much noise as you will.

_Julio._ Why, are you not ashamed that your father has so much more consideration for your guest than you have?

_Oliv._ My guest! how is it possible he can have discovered me? [_Aside._]

_Julio._ Pho! This is carrying the thing further than you need--if there was a third person here, it might be prudent.

_Oliv._ Why, this assurance, Don Julio, is really--

_Julio._ The thing in the world you are most ready to pardon.

_Oliv._ Upon my word, I don't know how to treat you.

_Julio._ Consult your heart!

_Oliv._ I shall consult my honour.

_Julio._ Honour is a pretty thing to play with, but when spoken with that very grave face, after having sent your maid to bring me here, is really more than I expected. I shall be in an ill humour presently--I won't stay if you treat me thus. [_Crosses_, L.]

_Oliv._ Well, this is superior to every thing! I have heard that men will slander women privately to each other; 'tis their common amusement; but to do it to one's face!--and you really pretend that I sent for you?

_Julio._ Ha! ha! ha! Well, if it obliges you, I will pretend that you did not send for me; that your maid did not conduct me hither; nay, that I have not now the supreme happiness--[_Catching her in his arms._

_Enter_ MINETTE; _she screams, and runs out_, R.

_Julio._ Donna Olivia de Zuniga! how the devil came she here?

_Oliv._ [_Aside._] That's lucky! Olivia, my dear friend, why do you run away? Keep the character I charge you. [_Apart to_ MINETTE.] Be still Olivia.

_Min._ Oh! dear madam! I was--I was so frightened when I saw that gentleman.

_Oliv._ Oh, my dear; it's the merriest pretty kind of gentleman in the world; he pretends that I sent my maid for him into the streets, ha! ha!

_Julio._ That's right; always tell a thing yourself, which you would not have believed.

_Min._ It is the readiest excuse for being found in a lady's apartment, however. Now will I swear I know nothing of the matter. [_Aside._]

_Oliv._ Now, I think it a horrid poor excuse; he has certainly not had occasion to invent reasons for such impertinencies often. Tell me that he has made love to you to-day. [_Apart._]

_Min._ I fancy that he has had occasion to excuse impertinencies often;--his impertinence to me to-day----

_Julio._ To you, madam?

_Min._ Making love to me, my dear, all the morning--could hardly get him away, he was so desirous to speak to my father. Nay, sir, I don't care for your impatience.

_Julio._ [_Aside._] Now would I give a thousand pistoles if she were a man!

_Oliv._ Nay, then, this accidental meeting is fortunate--pray, Don Julio, don't let my presence prevent your saying what you think proper to my friend--shall I leave you together? [_Crosses_, L.]

_Julio._ [_Apart._] To contradict a lady on such an assertion would be too gross; but, upon my honour, Donna Olivia is the last woman upon earth who could inspire me with a tender idea. Find an excuse to send her away, my angel, I entreat you. I have a thousand things to say, and the moments are too precious to be given to her.

_Oliv._ I think so too, but one can't be rude, you know. Come, my dear, sit down, [_Seating herself_, C.] have you brought your work?

_Julio._ The devil! what can she mean? [_Pushing himself between_ MINETTE _and the sofa_.] DONNA OLIVIA, I am sorry to inform you that my physician has just been sent for to your father, Don Cæsar.--The poor gentleman was seized with a vertigo.

_Oliv._ Vertigoes! Oh, he has them frequently, you know. [_To_ MINETTE.]

_Min._ Yes, and they always keep me from his sight.

_Julio._ Did ever one woman prevent another from leaving her at such a moment before? I really, madam, cannot comprehend----

_Cæsar._ [_Without._] It is impossible--impossible, gentleman! Don Julio cannot be here.

_Julio._ Hah! who's that?

_Enter_ DON CÆSAR, DON GARCIA, _and_ DON VINCENTIO, L. D.

_Gar._ There! did we not tell you so? we saw him enter the garden.

_Cæsar._ What can be the meaning of all this? A man in my daughter's apartment! [_Attempting to draw._

_Gar._ Hold, sir! Don Julio is one of the first rank in Spain, and will unquestionably be able to satisfy your honour, without troubling your sword. We have done mischief, Vincentio! [_Apart._]

_Julio._ [_To_ OLIVIA.] They have been cursedly impertinent! but I'll bring you off, never fear, by pretending a passion for your busy friend, there.

_Cæsar._ Satisfy me then in a moment; speak, one of you. [_Crosses to_ JULIO.

_Julio._ I came here, sir, by the merest accident.--The garden door was open, curiosity led me to this apartment. You came in a moment after, and very civilly locked me in with your daughter.

_Cæsar._ Locked you in! why, then, did you not, like a man of honour, cry out?

_Julio._ The lady cried out, sir, and you told her you would not return; but when Donna Olivia de Zuniga entered, for whom I have conceived a most violent passion----

_Cæsar._ A passion for her! Oh, let me hear no more on't.--A passion for her! You may as well entertain a passion for the untameable hyena.

_Gar._ There, Vincentio, what think you now? Xantippe or not?

_Vin._ I am afraid I must give up that--but pray support me as to this point, Don Cæsar; is not the lady fond of a Jew's-harp?

_Cæsar._ Fond! she's fond of nothing, but playing the vixen; there is not such a fury upon earth.

_Julio._ These are odd liberties, with a person who does not belong to him.

_Cæsar._ I'll play the hypocrite for her no more; the world shall know her true character, they shall know----but ask her maid there.

_Julio._ Her maid!

_Min._ Why, yes, sir; to say truth, I am but Donna Olivia's maid, after all.

_Oliv._ [_Apart._] Dear Minette! speak for me, or I am now ruined.

_Min._ I will, ma'am.--I must confess, sir, [_Going up to_ JULIO.] there never was so bitter a tempered creature as my lady is. I have borne her humours for two years; I have seen her by night and by day. [OLIVIA _pulls her sleeve, impatiently_.] I will, I will! [_To_ OLIVIA.] and this I am sure, that if you marry her, you'll rue the day every hour the first month, and hang yourself the next. There, madam, I have done it roundly now. [_Exit_, R.

_Oliv._ I am undone--I am caught in my own snare! [_Aside._]

_Cæsar._ After this true character of my daughter, I suppose, signor, we shall hear no more of your passion; so let us go down, and leave madam to begin her penance.

_Julio._ My ideas are totally confused.--You Donna Olivia de Zuniga, and the person I thought you, her maid! something too flattering darts across my mind.

_Cæsar._ If you have taken a fancy to her maid, I have nothing farther to say; but as to that violent creature----

_Julio._ Oh, do not profane her. Where is that spirit which you tell me of? Is it that which speaks in modest, conscious blushes on her cheeks? Is it that which bends her lovely eyes to earth?

_Cæsar._ Ay, she's only bending them to earth, considering how to afflict me with some new obstinacy--she'll break out like a tigress in a moment.

_Julio._ It cannot be--are you, charming woman! such a creature?

_Oliv._ Yes, to all mankind--but one. [_Looking down._]

_Julio._ But one! Oh, might that excepted one, be me!

_Oliv._ Would you not fear to trust your fate with her, you have cause to think so hateful?

_Julio._ No, I'd bless the hour that bound my fate to hers. Permit me, sir, to pay my vows to this fair vixen.

_Cæsar._ What, are you such a bold man as that? Pho! but if you are, 'twill be only lost time--she'll contrive, some way or other, to return your vows upon your hands.

_Oliv._ If they have your authority, sir, I will return them--only with my own.

_Cæsar._ What's that! what did she say? my head is giddy with surprise.

_Julio._ And mine with rapture. [_Catching her hand._

_Cæsar._ Don't make a fool of me, Olivia.--Wilt marry him?

_Oliv._ When you command me, sir.

_Cæsar._ My dear Don Julio, thou art my guardian angel--shall I have a son-in-law at last? Garcia, Vincentio, could you have thought it?

_Gar._ No, sir; if we had, we should have saved that lady much trouble; 'tis pretty clear now, why she was a vixen.

_Vin._ Yes, yes, 'tis clear enough, and I beg your pardon, madam, for the share of trouble I gave you--but, pray, have the goodness to tell me sincerely, what do you think of a crash? [_Crosses to_ OLIVIA.

_Oliv._ I love music, Don Vincentio, I admire your skill, and whenever you'll give me a concert, I shall be obliged. [_Crosses to_ CÆSAR.

_Vin._ You could not have pleased me so well, if you had married me.

_Enter_ DON CARLOS _and_ VICTORIA, R.

_Oliv._ Hah! here comes Victoria and her Carlos. My friend, you are happy--'tis in your eyes; I need not ask the event.

_Cæsar._ What, is this Don Carlos, whom Victoria gave us for a cousin? Sir, you come in a happy hour.

_Car._ I do indeed, for I am most happy.

_Julio._ My dear Carlos, what has new made thee thus, since morning?

_Car._ A wife! Marry, Julio, marry!

_Julio._ What! this advice from you?

_Car._ Yes; and when you have married an angel, when that angel has done for you such things, as makes your gratitude almost equal to your love, you may then guess something of what I feel, in calling this angel mine.

_Oliv._ Now, I trust, Don Julio, after all this, that if I should do you the honour of my hand, you'll treat me cruelly, be a very bad man, that I, like my exemplary cousin----

_Vict._ Hold, Olivia! it is not necessary that a husband should be faulty, to make a wife's character exemplary.--Should he be tenderly watchful of your happiness, your gratitude will give a thousand graces to your conduct; whilst the purity of your manners, and the nice honour of your life, will gain you the approbation of those, whose praise is fame.

_Oliv._ Pretty and matronly! thank you, my dear. We have each struck a bold stroke to-day;--yours has been to reclaim a husband, mine to get one: but the most important is yet to be obtained--the approbation of our judges.

That meed withheld, our labours have been vain; Pointless my jests, and doubly keen your pain; Might we their plaudits, and their praise provoke, Our _bold_ should then be term'd, a _happy_ stroke.

DISPOSITION OF THE CHARACTERS AT THE FALL OF THE CURTAIN.

DON CÆSAR. DONNA OLIVIA. DON VASQUEZ. DON JULIO. DON GARCIA. DON CARLOS. DON VINCENTIO. DONNA VICTORIA.

R.] [L.

Clayton & Van Norden, Printers, 42 William-street.

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE

Contemporary spellings have generally been retained. Hyphenation is inconsistent throughout. Obvious misspellings and punctuation errors have been corrected and character names harmonised; the latter applies in particular to the character of Olivia, who was referred to in the _Remarks_ as "Oliva". Occasionally, the same word occurred at the end of one line and the beginning of the next, and in all such instances, one of the two was removed.

A damaged page in the original scans had caused the loss of two words in a passage in Act 5, scene two:

No, (no;) the vineyards, and the cornfields, and the woods (of) Rosalvo, are not for him.

The words in brackets were supplemented from another scanned copy of the text (same publisher, same year, different edition).

The following substantive changes were made: