SCENE I.--_A Street in Madrid.

_Enter_ SANCHA _from a House_, R. D. _She advances, then runs back, and beckons to_ PEDRO _within_.

_San._ Hist! Pedro! Pedro!

_Enter_ PEDRO, R. D.

There he is: dost see him? just turning by St. Antony in the corner. Now, do you tell him that your mistress is not at home; and if his jealous donship should insist on searching the house, as he did yesterday, say that somebody is ill--the black has got a fever, or that----

_Ped._ Pho, pho, get you in. Don't I know that the duty of a lacquey in Madrid is to lie with a good grace? I have been studying it now for a whole week, and I'll defy don or devil to surprise me into a truth. Get you in, I say--here he comes. [_Exit_ SANCHA, R. D. F.

_Enter_ CARLOS, L.

[PEDRO _struts up to him_.] Donna Laura is not at home, sir.

_Car._ Not at home!--come, sir, what have you received for telling that lie?

_Ped._ Lie!--lie!--Signior!--

_Car._ It must be a lie, by your promptness in delivering it.--What a fool does your mistress trust--A clever rascal would have waited my approach, and, delivering the message with easy coolness, deceived me--_thou_ hast been on the watch, and runnest towards me with a face of stupid importance, bawling, that she may hear through the lattice how well thou obeyest her,--"Donna Laura is not at home, sir."

_Ped._ Hear through the lattice--hah! by'r lady, she must have long ears, to reach from the grotto in the garden to the street.

_Car._ Hah! [_Seizes him._] Now, sir, your ears shall be longer, if you do not tell me who is with her in the grotto.

_Ped._ In the grotto, sir!--did I say any thing about the grotto? I----I only meant that----

_Car._ Fool!--dost thou trifle with me? who is with her? [_Pinching his ear._]

_Ped._ Oh!--why, nobody, sir--only the pretty young gentleman's valet, waiting for an answer to a letter he brought. There! I have saved my ears at the expense of my place. I have worn this fine coat but a week, and I shall be sent back to Segovia for not being able to lie, though I have been learning the art six days and nights.

_Car._ Well--come this way--if thou wilt promise to be faithful to me, I will not betray thee: nor at present enter the house.

_Ped._ Oh, sir, blessings on you!

_Car._ How often does the pretty young gentleman visit her?

_Ped._ Every day, sir--If he misses, madam's stark wild.

_Car._ Where does he live?

_Ped._ Truly, I know not, sir.

_Car._ How! [_Menacing._]

_Ped._ By the honesty of my mother, I cannot tell, sir. She calls him Florio;--that's his christian name--his heathen name I never heard.

_Car._ You must acquaint me when they are next together.

_Ped._ Lord, sir, if there should be any blood spilt!

_Car._ Promise,--or I'll lead thee by the ears to the grotto.

_Ped._ I promise, I promise.

_Car._ There, take that, [_Gives money._] and if thou art faithful, I'll treble it. Now go in and be a good lad--and, d'ye hear?--you may tell lies to every body else, but remember you must always speak truth to me.

_Ped._ I will, sir,--I will. [_Exit, looking at the money_, R. D. F.

_Car._ 'Tis well my passion is extinguished, for I can now act with coolness; I'll wait patiently, for the hour of their security, and take them in the softest moments of their love. But if ever I trust to woman more--may every----

_Enter two_ WOMEN, _veiled, followed by_ JULIO, R.

_Julio._ Fie, ladies! keep your curtains drawn so late! The sun is up--'tis time to look abroad--[_Tries to remove the veils._] Nay, if you are determined on night and silence, I take my leave. A woman without prattle, is like burgundy without spirit.--Bright eyes, to touch me, must belong to sweet tongues. [_Going_, R. _Ladies exit_ L.

_Car._ Sure, 'tis Julio. Hey!

_Julio._ [_Returning._] Don Carlos? Yes, by all the sober gods of matrimony!--Why, what business, goodman gravity, canst thou have in Madrid? I understand you are married--quietly settled in your own pastures--father of a family, and the instructive companion of country vine dressers--ha! ha!

_Car._ 'Tis false, by Heaven!--I have forsworn the country--left my family, and run away from my wife.

_Julio._ Really! then matrimony has not totally destroyed thy free will.

_Car._ 'Tis with difficulty I have preserved it though; for women, thou knowest, are most unreasonable beings! as soon as I had exhausted my stock of love tales, which, with management, lasted beyond the honey-moon, madam grew sullen,--I found home dull, and amused myself with the pretty peasants of the neighbourhood----Worse and worse!--we had nothing now but faintings, tears and hysterics, for twenty-four honey-moons more.--So one morning I gave her in her sleep a farewell kiss, to comfort her when she should awake, and posted to Madrid; where, if it was not for the remembrance of the clog at my heel, I should bound o'er the regions of pleasure, with more spirit than a young Arabian on his mountains.

_Julio._ Do you find this clog no hindrance in affairs of gallantry?

_Car._ Not much.--In that house there--but, damn her, she's perfidious!--in that house is a woman of beauty, with pretensions to character and fortune, who devoted herself to my passion.

_Julio._ If she's perfidious, give her to the winds.

_Car._ Ah, but there is a rub, Julio, I have been a fool--a woman's fool!--In a state of intoxication, she wheedled me, or rather cheated me, out of a settlement.

_Julio._ Pho! is that----

_Car._ Oh! but you know not its nature. A settlement of lands, that both honour and gratitude ought to have preserved sacred from such base alienation. In short, if I cannot recover them, I am a ruined man.

_Julio._ Nay, this seems a worse clog than t'other--Poor Carlos! so bewived and be----

_Car._ Pr'ythee, have compassion.

_Enter a_ SERVANT, R. _with a letter to_ JULIO; _he reads it, and then nods to the_ SERVANT, _who exits_, R.

_Car._ An appointment, I'll be sworn, by that air of mystery and satisfaction--come, be friendly, and communicate.

_Julio._ [_Putting up the letter._] You are married, Carlos;--that's all I have to say--you are married.

_Car._ Pho! that's past long ago, and ought to be forgotten; but if a man does a foolish thing once, he'll hear of it all his life.

_Julio._ Ay, the time has been when thou might'st have been intrusted with such a dear secret,--when I might have opened the billet, and feasted thee with the sweet meandering strokes at the bottom, which form her name, when----

_Car._ What, 'tis from a woman then?

_Julio._ It is.

_Car._ Handsome?

_Julio._ Hum--not absolutely handsome, but she'll pass, with one who has not had his taste spoiled by--matrimony.

_Car._ Malicious dog!--Is she young?

_Julio._ Under twenty--fair complexion, azure eyes, red lips, teeth of pearl, polished neck, fine turned shape, graceful----

_Car._ Hold, Julio, if thou lov'st me!--Is it possible she can be so bewitching a creature?

_Julio._ 'Tis possible--though, to deal plainly, I never saw her: but I love my own pleasure so well, that I could fancy all that, and ten times more.

_Car._ What star does she inhabit?

_Julio._ 'Faith, I know not; my orders are to be in waiting, at seven, at the Prado.

_Car._ Prado!--hey!--gad! can't you take me with you? for though I have forsworn the sex myself, and have done with them for ever, yet I may be of use to you, you know.

_Julio._ 'Faith, I can't see that--however, as you are a poor wo-begone married mortal, I'll have compassion, and suffer thee to come.

_Car._ Then I am a man again! Wife, avaunt! mistress, farewell!--At seven, you say!

_Julio._ Exactly.

_Car._ I'll meet thee at Philippi! [_Exeunt_, JULIO, L. CARLOS, R.