Chapter 75

ENTER _Cleomachus_, APPARENTLY NOT SEEING GROUP AT DOORWAY.

_Cleom._

Meamne hic Mnesilochus, Nicobuli filius, per vim ut retineat mulierem? quae haec factiost?

(_blustering_) Mnesilochus, Nicobulus’s son, keep her here by force--my woman? What sort of conduct is this?

_Nic._

Quis illest?

Who is that?

_Chrys._

Per tempus hic venit miles mihi.

(_aside_) The Captain has come just in the nick of time for me. (_draws Nicobulus farther away_)

_Cleom._

Non me arbitratur militem, sed mulierem, qui me meosque non queam defendere. nam neque Bellona mi umquam neque Mars creduat, ni illum exanimalem faxo, si convenero, nive exheredem fecero vitae suae.

He takes me for a woman, not a soldier, a woman unable to defend myself and mine! Now never may Bellona[K] and Mars trust me more, unless I extinguish his vital spark, once I come upon him, and unless I disinherit him of his existence!

[Footnote K: The goddess of war.]

_Nic._

Chrysale, quis ille est qui minitatur filio? 850

(_anxiously_) Chrysalus! who’s that threatening my son?

_Chrys._

Vir hic est illius mulieris quacum accubat.

(_coolly_) He is the husband of that woman beside your son on the couch.

_Nic._

Quid, vir?

(_in terror_) What? The husband?

_Chrys._

Vir, inquam.

That is what I say, the husband.

_Nic._

Nuptanest illa, obsecro?

For heaven’s sake, is she married?

_Chrys._

Scies haud multo post.

You’ll see a little later.

_Nic._

Oppido interii miser.

Oh! This is perfectly agonizing!

_Chrys._

Quid nunc? scelestus tibi videtur Chrysalus? age nunc vincito me, auscultato filio. dixin tibi ego illum inventurum te qualis sit?

What now? Do you think Chrysalus is the criminal? Go ahead now, tie me up and listen to your son. Didn’t I tell you you’d find out what sort he is?

_Nic._

Quid nunc ego faciam?

What shall I do now?

_Chrys._

Iube sis me exsolvi cito; nam ni ego exsolvor, iam manufesto hominem opprimet.

Kindly have me loosed, and quickly; for if I’m not loosed, he’ll soon be surprising our gentleman red-handed.

_Cleom._

Nihil est lucri quod me hodie facere mavelim, quam illum cubantem cum illa opprimere, ambo ut necem. 860

There is no amount of money I had rather make to-day than surprise him with her in his arms, so that I may slay them both!

_Chrys._

Audin quae loquitur? quin tu me exsolvi iubes?

You hear what he’s saying? Why don’t you have me loosed?

_Nic._

Exsolvite istum. perii, pertimui miser.

(_to slaves_) Loose him. (_they obey_) This is awful! Dear, dear, I’m frightened through and through!

_Cleom._

Tum illam, quae corpus publicat volgo suom, faxo se haud dicat nactam quem derideat.

Then that woman who makes a common prostitute of herself--I warrant she’ll not say she has lit on a man she can laugh to scorn!

_Chrys._

Pacisci cum illo paulula pecunia potes.

You can buy him off for a bit of cash.

_Nic._

Pacisce ergo, obsecro, quid tibi lubet, dum ne manifesto hominem opprimat neve enicet.

(_beside himself_) Buy him off, then, for heaven’s sake-- anything you like--if only he doesn’t surprise the lad red-handed and slay him!

_Cleom._

Nunc nisi ducenti Philippi redduntur mihi, iam illorum ego animam amborum exsorbebo oppido.

Unless two hundred pounds are given me at once, I’ll drain them dry, the both of them, of the breath of life this moment.

_Nic._

Em illuc pacisce, si potes; perge obsecro, 870 pacisce quid vis.

There! Buy him off for that, if you can. At him, for heaven’s sake: buy him off at any price.

_Chrys._

Ibo et faciam sedulo. quid clamas?

I’ll go and do my best, (_approaching Cleomachus_) What are you bawling at?

_Cleom._

Ubi erus tuos est?

Where is your master?

_Chrys._

Nusquam. nescio vis tibi ducentos nummos iam promittier, ut ne clamorem hie facias neu convicium?

(_loudly_) Nowhere. I don’t know. (_gets him farther from Nicobulus_) Do you want to have two hundred pounds promised you instantly, on condition you don’t come bawling or bellowing here?

_Cleom._

Nihil est quod malim.

(_calming down_) Nothing I should like better.

_Chrys._

Atque ut tibi mala multa ingeram?

(_in low tone_) Yes, and on condition you take plenty of hard words from me?

_Cleom._

Tuo arbitratu.

At your own discretion.

_Nic._

Ut subblanditur carnufex.

(_hearing only last words_) How the hangdog is wheedling him!

_Chrys._

Pater hic Mnesilochi est; sequere, is promittet tibi. tu aurum rogato; ceterum verbum sat est.

Here is (_pointing_) Mnesilochus’s father; come on; he’ll promise it to you. You ask for the money; (_meaningly_) as for the rest, a word will suffice. (_Cleomachus nods his understanding: they join Nicobulus_)

_Nic._

Quid fit?

Well? Well?

_Chrys._

Ducentis Philippis rem pepigi.

I’ve settled for two hundred pounds.

_Nic._

Ah, salus mea, servavisti me. quam mox dico “dabo”? 880

(_ecstatic_) Ah, my salvation! you’ve saved me! How long before I say “I’ll pay”?

_Chrys._

Roga hunc tu, tu promitte huic.

(_to Cleomachus_) You make your demand of him: (_to Nicobulus_) you promise him.

_Nic._

Promitto, roga.

(_eagerly_) I promise: make your demand.

_Cleom._

Ducentos nummos aureos Philippos probos dabin?

Will you pay me two hundred good honest gold sovereigns?

_Chrys._

“Dabuntur” inque. responde.

(_to Nicobulus_) “I will”: say that. Answer him.

_Nic._

Dabo.

I will.

_Chrys._

Quid nunc, impure? numquid debetur tibi? quid illi molestu’s? quid illum morte territas? et ego te et ille mactamus infortunio. si tibi est machaera, at nobis veruinast domi: qua quidem te faciam, si tu me inritaveris, confossiorem soricina nenia. iam dudum hercle equidem sentio, suspicio 890 quae te sollicitet: eum esse cum illa muliere.

(_to Cleomachus_) What now, you beast? Is anything owed you? What are you annoying that gentleman for? What are you scaring him with murderous threats for? We’ll give you a horrible time of it, he and I together. You may have a sword, but we’ve got a little spit at home: if you get me roused, I’ll up with it and stick you fuller of holes than a squealing shrewmouse. Good Lord! Why, I saw it all long ago--how you’re suffering from the suspicion that he’s with the lady there.

_Cleom._

Immo est quoque.

Suspicion? He is there, too.

_Chrys._

Ita me Iuppiter Iuno Ceres Minerva[23] Latona Spes Opis Virtus Venus Castor Polluces Mars Mercurius Hercules Summanus Sol Saturnus dique omnes ament, ut ille cum illa neque cubat neque ambulat neque osculatur neque illud quod dici solet.

(_with unction_) So help me Jupiter, Juno, Ceres, Minerva, Latona, Spes, Ops, Virtus, Venus, Castor, Pollux, Mars, Mercury, Hercules, Summanus, Sol, Saturn, and all the gods, he is neither lying with her, nor walking with her, nor kissing her, nor anything else he has the name of doing.

_Nic._

Ut iurat! servat me ille suis periuriis.

(_aside_) What an oath! The man is saving me by perjuring himself.

_Cleom._

Ubi nunc Mnesilochus ergost?

Where is Mnesilochus at present, then?

_Chrys._

Rus misit pater, illa autem in arcem abiit aedem visere 900 Minervae. nunc apertast. i, vise estne ibi.

His father has sent him out to the farm. As for the lady, she has gone to the Acropolis to visit Minerva’s temple. It’s open now. Go and see if she isn’t there.

_Cleom._

Abeo ad forum igitur.

In that case, I’ll be off to the forum.

_Chrys._

Vel hercle in malam crucem.

Or to blazes, if you like, by gad!

_Cleom._

Hodie exigam aurum hoc?

Shall I get the money out of him to-day?

_Chrys._

Exige, ac suspende te: ne supplicare hunc censeas tibi, nihili homo, ille est amotus. sine me--per te, ere, opsecro deos immortales--ire huc intro ad filium.

Get it, and be hanged to you! You needn’t think he will sue for favours from you, you riffraff. [EXIT _Cleomachus_] He’s sent packing. (_fervently_) In the name of heaven, sir, do let me go in here and see your son, I beseech you.

_Nic._

Quid eo intro ibis?

Go in this house? Why?

_Chrys._

Ut eum dictis plurumis castigem, cum haec sic facta ad hunc faciat modum.

So that I may reprove him roundly for acting in such a way as this.

_Nic._

Immo oro ut facias, Chrysale, et ted opsecro, cave parsis in eum dicere.

Let you? I beg you to, Chrysalus, and I beseech you, don’t spare him in the slightest!

_Chrys._

Etiam me mones? 910 satin est si plura ex me audiet hodie mala, quam audivit umquam Clinia ex Demetrio?

(_virtuously indignant_) D’ye warn me of that, me? Is it enough, if he hears more hard words from me this day than ever Clinia[L] heard from Demetrius?[L] [EXIT _Chrysalus_ INTO HOUSE OF _Bacchis_.

[Footnote L: Characters in some familiar play.]

_Nic._

Lippi illic oculi servos est simillimus: si non est, nolis esse neque desideres; si est, abstinere quin attingas non queas. nam ni illic hodie forte fortuna his foret, miles Mnesilochum cum uxore opprimeret sua atque obtruncaret moechum manufestarium.

(_ruefully_) That servant of mine is very much like a sore eye: if you haven’t got one, you don’t want one and don’t miss it; if you have, you can’t keep your hands off it. Why, if he hadn’t happened by good luck to be here to-day, the Captain would have surprised Mnesilochus with his wife and cut him to pieces for an adulterer caught in the act.

nunc quasi decentis Philippis emi filium, quos dare promisi militi: quos non dabo 920 temere etiam prius quam filium convenero. numquam edepol quicquam temere credam Chrysalo; verum lubet etiam ni has perlegere denuo: aequomst tabellis consignatis credere.

As it is, I have bought my son, so to speak, for the two hundred pounds I promised to pay the Captain--two hundred I won’t be rash enough to pay him yet, before I have met the boy. I’ll put no rash confidence in Chrysalus, never, by heaven! But I’ve a mind to read this over (_looking at letter_) once more still: a man ought to have confidence in a sealed letter. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

IV. 9.